GHOST SHIT - that's the kind where you feel the shit come out, have shit on the toilet paper, but there is no shit in the toilet.

CLEAN SHIT - the kind where you shit it out, see it in the toilet, but there is nothing on the toilet paper.

SECOND WAVE SHIT - it happens when you are done shitting, you've pulled your pants up to your knees and you realize that you have to shit some more. 

BRAIN HEMORRHAGE THROUGH YOUR NOSE SHIT OR THE POP A VEIN IN YOUR FOREHEAD SHIT - the kind where you strain so much to get it out that you practically have a stroke.

RICHARD SIMMONS SHIT - the kind where you shit so much you lose 30 pounds.

CORN SHIT - self explanatory.

LINCOLN LOG SHIT - the kind of shit that is so huge that you are afraid to flush the toilet without breaking it into a few pieces with your toilet brush.

DRINKERS SHIT - that's the kind of shit that you have the morning after a long night of drinking. Its most noticeable trait is the tread marks left on the bottom of the toilet.

GEE, I WISH I COULD SHIT, SHIT - it's the kind where you want to shit, but all you can do is sit on the toilet cramped and fart a few times. 

BLOODY SHIT - self explanatory.

SPINAL TAP SHIT - that's the kind where it hurts so much coming out that you swear it was leaving you sideways.

WET CHEEKS SHIT OR THE POWER DUMP - that's the kind that comes out of your ass so fast that your butt cheeks get splashed with the toilet water.

LIQUID SHIT - the kind where yellowish brown liquid shoots out of your ass, splatters all over the inside of the toilet bowl and chronically burns your tender anus. 

MEXICAN FOOD SHIT - a class all its own.