MY JOURNAL

   November 5, 1999

    I've been in the worst mood ever....I'm not sure why. I guess a lot of reasons. I miss my grandma soooo much! n my brother....gosh.....i miss him too. Since Jimmy's funeral yesterday, i've been thinkin' about what i would do if **** died. Where would i be? what would i do? I'd go insane. I couldn't cope...i barely can now.  I really just wish that i could say something that could ease the pain for jason. i just don't know what it'd be. so many things go un-noticed. he's always been there. always wanted to have a friend.  I gripe about my bad day, when he hardly ever has a day that goes by that's even half-way decent.
     I wish jill were here....i wish i could listen to her voice. i wish i didn't have to wish....
     I have a major research paper i have to do....about something in history.  i have no clue what to pick....There's so much to choose from. 
   i feel weird today....like something's missing.
maybe i'm crazy! ;) *S* 
     I talked to my ex friend today...it was all i could do to keep a 'straight face.' i wanted to laugh...its so funny.
"The Person"  thinks that they are the center of the world....if only they knew--if only they knew....

11/4/1999