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U.S. OF AAARGH!
continued

MARK
What American phrases have you picked up after spending so long in the States?
I pick up accents really quickly and I caught myself saying 'baloney' a couple of times, but it's not a conscious thing, honest!

How did the Americans cope with the Irish sense of humour?
The Irish and British sense of humour is really sarcastic. You say things and people know you're messing, but in America they take it so seriously. I was always putting my foot in it. Once we were backstage at a concert meeting competition winners and I said to this girl wearing a skimpy top and skirt, 'Jesus, where are the rest of your clothes?' She was really offended and gave me the dirtiest look. It takes a lot of getting used to.

Who's the biggest fan of American food?
We're all big fans and if we stayed out there any longer, we'd be coming back looking like Rab C Nesbitt! All we eat over there are huge steaks and burgers, and the portions are absolutely massive.

So there must've been some dinner disasters?
Yes, the night we had dinner with Mariah Carey. Mariah's one of those people that the slightest remark can put her off her whole meal. She was telling us this, but Bryan didn't realise how serious she was, so he said her plate of seafood looked like a bowl of snot. And that was it, she put her knife and fork down and said, 'I can't eat that now,' and Bryan and me were like, oh no, we've upset Mariah Carey.
Bryan (butting in): Mariah flipped at me and said, 'That's it, you're eating one of them.' It was clams or something and I was like, 'No, I'll be sick,' but she just put it in my mouth. I swallowed it whole cos there was no way I was chewing it! (Back to Mark.) It was all these fishy things Bryan hates. He had a bit of a session in the toilet later!

What about your wild partying antics.
Bryan's portrayed as the mad party animal of the group, but most times I'm out there with him. The thing is I can't legally drink in American cos I'm under 21, which is a bit crap. We kept trying to find a way round it, but they're so strict it's near impossible. It's crazy - you need ID for practically everything, even a can of coke!

You must have gone out and let your hair down for your birthday.
I wanted to go out to this club, but they were having none of it so I just sat in my hotel room and read Angela's Ashes. There was nothing else I could do. The place we were in was so dull as well. It made Sligo look like New York City!

Were any of you lucky with the ladies?
(Suddenly looks incredibly coy.) Well, we had a good laugh. We weren't exactly in the situation where we could meet girls 24-7, but there were a couple of incidents. Like what? There's nothing to divulge - I had a laugh!

How do American girls' snogging techniques compare with the Irish and British lasses?
Ummm, it's fine. Girls are girls and boys are boys, worldwide. Snogging's the universal language of the world!

Right. What about the Mandy Moore incident?
Nothing happened with Mandy Moore - honest! We went out a couple of times, but when I first met her I didn't realise she's only 16. She's a lovely girl, absolutely beautiful. And we had a great laugh - but really, nothing happened. We've kept in touch even though we're on opposite sides of the world, but at the end of the day we're just good friends.

Kian part of this interview

© 2001 Pami

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