Jennifer Marks 2/7/04
Discontent
He whispers, "I love you,"
Not touching her with his fingertips,
But with his words.
She loses sleep at night,
Feeling too much, wanting too much,
To reach out and hold him,
Slowly fading away,
Like a dimming light,
An apparision that is too wonderful to behold,
Its just out of her reach.
She knows it its a loosing bet,
Yet she persues the dream,
Holding onto it,
Lost in her own ideas of passion.
Once, she thought she has what she wanted,
Then the light burned out,
And all his words floated onto a breeze,
But she still dreams the foolish dream,
That wakes her on those long, lonely nights.
But she'll do it again,
Fight the losing battle in an impossiable war,
Against herself as well as another.
What other choice does she have?
In her life, she feels the need for discontent.
Dumb Girl
Once upon a time,
In a land not far away,
There was a dumb girl,
She let men walk on her,
Let them use her and abuse her,
She let them hurt her and lie,
She felt thier blows
And they made her cry
And she wondered if she had "DOORMAT" on her forehead.
Then one day she had enough,
She pulled the gun out of its case,
Caressed the cold steel in her hand,
Placed the barral in her mouth,
Pulled the trigger,
And blew a hole into her head
Finally her heart was at rest
Evil Girl
Evil girl, your spite is wrong,
Do you feel anything?
Or has your heart just gone?
Do you even know how long
its been since you since you showed you cared?
Does your wicked soul even let you?
Have you ever dared?
An empty void, nothing fills the space,
No affection you offer,
Even if death was the case.
And have you seen the way I cry,
The tears that fall away from my eye?
Emotions help normal people tick,
They can make you sad,
Sometimes make you feel sick,
Everything in your life is one big joke,
On my thoughts and views,
You would tell me to go choke,
But be advised, oh one sweet day,
Fate will come to call,
And evil girl, you will pay.
I know that you think that you're the best,
But someday you'll realize,
Your no better or worse than the rest Feb 1, 2000
Hangover
Thick tounged in the early morning light,
Raising your hand to block out the early morning sun,
A washing machine has temporarily taken residence in your stomach,
You lick your dry lips and rub the pounding in your temples,
An odd and unpleasant odor is near,
Then you realize its you,
You stand, your entire body aching and popping,
Your mouth screams for fluid,
You mudder something about 'never again',
But you know better than that,
Never may come for you as soon as next weekend. March 29, 1999
NEED
Do you know what its like,
to want someone?
Need someone?
Need to feel the soft brush of their lips
pressed against the skin of your neck?
Hold the hand of the one you love
while you stroll through a crowd?
Waited to feels the tender caress of
their touch on your face?
Yearn to stare into their eyes when you say
I love you?
Then catch the glimmer in their eyes
when they say it back?
Ache to feel their embrace on a rainy day,
whispering small talk or being still in comfortable silences?
Some things you just need. 2/9/00
Never Again
Last night I had a dream that I saw you,
Standing in my room,
Over my bed,
And you made me promises that were so beautiful,
They made me cry,
The flow of tears ran down my face,
Into the cornor of my lips,
They were bitter tears,
Not the sweet salt of a lovers weep,
I woke to find they were tears of pain,
The promises were empty,
And you had vanished like a theif in the night,
My mind knew what my heart would not believe,
I will never trust again 2/27/00
Plain Jane
There's nothing special about my name,
My face, my hair, my clothes, all plain,
Heads don't turn when I walk by,
Sometimes it bugs me but it doesn't make me cry,
Guys just want to be my friend,
My relationships are mostly dead ends,
What makes me scream, almost makes me shout,
Is that I'm not really ugly, that I don't doubt,
But its what I have to work with that makes me insane,
There's not much exciting, plain name, plain jane 1/20/00
Road Parties
Once upon my younger days,
We'd all walk around in some kinda haze,
On Friday nights, we'd all go out,
We sure weren't good,
We'd hollar and shout,
After the football games we headed out of town,
To a place called Stinks,
Where a train whistle blows,
And no one else is around,
The beer would flow,
The mood would too,
Some people would puke,
Sometimes fists were threw,
But I'd never take back those rowdy night,
They gave me great memories,
Even the fights 2/25/00
Ponderings of a Teenager
Why is it that when it comes to rules in your house,
Your still a kid but,
When you make a mistake,
Your an adult?
Trippy Night
The girl that stares back at me from the mirror has tired eyes
But there is also an unfortold night behind me
That was insane and I won't remember it in the morning
Because I can't even remember it now
Tonight
tonight I listened to our song and I didn't even cry
tonight I didn't go into our chatroom, I didn't even try
tonight I hardly thought of you, and didn't ask myself why
tonight I think I stopped caring, and didn't even break a sigh
tonight I sat down to write this poem and though my oh my,
tonight I my mind decided I don't love you anymore
and my heart didn't try to defy
Wondering
I felt we had come so far
Yet you somehow still push me away
I thought we had an understanding
But you forgot about me again to my dismay
I know the world is a crazy place
And this we can’t deny
I wish you wouldn’t let us get so close
Never really letting me in no matter how hard I try
How come you only love me with a little bit of your heart and not all of it?
CATS
How could you not call me tonight?
Do you enjoy the game?
The cat and mouse of it all
Did you ever think that you
might not be the only cat chasing me?
Some cats around here, real cool cats,
With careers and educations are looking at me
Cats with class
Cats with style
Cats that want to be with me
Better watch your step
This pussy cat may find another tom to purr up to
Understand?
I really hope you read this
I hope you understand
What I need right now is
for you to be a man
Do you understand how scared I am
I am sure you have no idea
I wonder if I am being hard on you
or if I should let you back in
I know I am supposed to be with you
But we don’t have to decide on forever right now
I wish you could understand that
I need you to understand that
I need you to try for me
That is all I ask
Let’s put the past in the past.
Nashville
Big city,
I feel like a bug
creeping along the concerte jungle floor
Just me, my neon, and my music
Everyone here likes music
Everyone is in the biz
Its a show biz city
Everyone has got the deal, the plan
Know the scene
Everyone wants something from someone else
I sing in the shower,
I sing in a bar on Friday night sometimes
So how come all these people in the biz
Tell me I’m so good?
What am I really here for?
I say “school”
I think I am in denial
Someone Special
My heart is like an open book,
That you seem to read
Your touch, your eyes, to hold your hand,
Are things I really need
I love the way you tell a story,
And the way you make me smile,
To say that I wasn't in love with you,
Would put me in denile,
The tender way you love to tease,
Or you act real tough,
You can be sensitive at times,
But other times your rough
Don't get me wrong,
Sometimes you make me want to scream,
But I love you just the way you are,
And I wouldn't change a thing! 1/2/00
It Means Something to Me
Sign reads 'Do not enter,'
I push past the door,
Its cold out here
Biter winter,
Don't wanna freeze no more,
It seems so pointless,
Seems so wrong,
To hundle for warmth,
All night long,
With so many people,
And their fine things,
To them, a house don't mean a thing,
But it means something to me,
Something all you people just can't see,
Get a job they say and find away,
I was born into this poverty,
It might not mean that much to you,
But it means something to me. 11/99
Stronger Than You Know
Do I even count in your book?
Was this some great scheme you devised?
Did it keep you amused?
Did my navie ways make you laugh?
Was this all some type of game to you?
But to my own shock and your misfortune,
I'll be FINE.
Bet you never thought you would hear that from me.
Thanks
I'm the weak one,
The one who needed you for everything.
I guess your not the only one that can fool people.
But my secret was not one that will hurt anyone.
I'm just so much stronger than I ever let you know 2/28/00
thanks for teaching me not to trust
thanks for teaching me not to smile
thanks for all those empty I love you's said
thanks for putting my heart on trial
thanks for always making me think I was happy
thanks for making me feel so shitty now
thanks for the expensive phone bills I shelled out for you
thanks for the Valentine's card that never showed up somehow
thanks for all this crap you are putting me through
thanks for making me feel so dumb
thanks for the stories I giggled at,
thanks for making my heart nearly numb
thanks for making sure you pulled my heart strings
thanks for making me think love existed
thanks for proving me wrong with your silence
thanks for getting my mind so fucking twisted
and most of all I'd like to say
thanks for wasting my time
for 2 long years I believed your lies
now I don't know if I'll ever be fine 2/29/00
Untitled
My heart, it screams,
And I know why,
But my faith in you,
Does not slowly die
My eyes drip words,
Through all my tears,
The flow does wound,
Releasing fears
It is a jest to think your mine?
Is the heart foolish?
Is my love blind?
Oh, gentle sleep.
Come now I bay,
Forget this love,
Let him fall away 2/17/00
You
You limit us
You make all the decisions
You don’t pay attention to me
You seem to forget I am alive
You tell me you love me
You tell me that you think of me
You know that you don’t
You give me your love for a moment
You take love away for weeks at a time
You are never really there for me
You give your all to those around you
You never give it all to me
You don’t understand how much you have broke me down
You don’t know how much pain I have inside
You can’t understand why I am so mad at you
You say I’m sorry
You know you aren’t
You don’t know what you are sorry for
You fucked her in your bedroom
Your tried to hide it from me
You fucked a dozen others I never knew about
You took my heart and breathed life into it
You took that all away
You know I sit and wait for you
You know you have all the power
You bastard
You 9/24/01
Wounded Angel
Your angel, she flies low now,
Without her heart and wounded wings,
She’s lost the light your love gave her,
She’s lost her soul, her everything,
She’ll never understand
How a love so pure and true,
Could vanish like some type of wind,
And leave her world so blue,
Your angel dreams about you,
But it isn’t like before,
Her tears fall on her pillow,
Knowing she’s not yours anymore,
She’ll try and forget about you,
But she knows she never will,
Her happiness and spirit are gone now,
The life inside her has grown still,
Your angel tried to understand,
But you never let her in,
She was so patient with you,
You locked your heart so tight within,
Your angel is so torn now,
She doesn’t know what to do,
Your angel, she did love you,
Now she wonders if you loved too 3/18/02