the official biography

"This ain't no movie soundtrack chump. It's real life and these are real songs by real people. Four people to be exact. They hail from some small town in West Virginia. A town they'd rather not have me mention here because of what I'm about to tell you.

Karma To Burn got their start as drug addled teenagers listening to Skynyrd. In an opiated world, fantasies can appear so real. These boys in the hillbilly state wanted to be rock stars. They bought instruments. Built a still in the back yard. Tried to make music and moonshine. The moonshine sucked but the supersonic rumblings sounded good to them. They saw through the blurred vision to a light at the end of the tunnel. After three months, a plan was concocted.

They made a tape but had no singer. Fuck it. Instrumentals it was to be. Heavy as shit and loud as hell. With no singer and subsequently no lyrics, songs were given numbers as their meager titles. They sent the tape out to labels. With tactics Howard Stern would applaud, they called labels impersonating other bands spewing what the world will soon find out about...the madness and mayhem of Karma To Burn.

They played a show in NYC and inked a deal with Roadrunner Records. Large room service bills were rung up. Per diem money disappeared. Things were moving along like a train...like their music. They decided to get a singer. Various people tried out. They returned from the land o' the lost with horror stories. Karma to Burn was Marlon Brando; the singers were Martin Sheen. This was a rock and roll version of Apocalypse Now. One fellow who tried out ended up in the looney bin. No one could make the cut.

So they enlisted one of their friends. He can't really sing. His sound is more of a distorted warble. He moans and grunts a lot. Due to his dyslexia, they had to name their songs because he sucked at numbers and kept fucking up. So it was to be that their songs would have titles. Titles like "(Waltz Of The) Playboy Pallbearers", "Appalachian Woman", "Mt. Penetrator", and "Twin Sisters and a Half Bottle of Bourbon". Finally they made it into the studio.

What you have in your hands is the debut record from Dickey, William, Baka, and Nicholas collectively known as Karma To Burn. This ain't no movie soundtrack. It's a record about real life in rural America. It's a record about dreams. It's about sex, drugs, and - you guessed it - rock and roll. The trinity is now complete. Thanks for your time. Now fuck off and die."

(Or go right here to read about what happened after the album's release...)

This bio was written by Wiebke, European press agent for Roadrunner at that time. The original (US) version was too boring. She did a hell of a job, didn't she...

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Playboy Pallbearers

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