Okay, for some reason, Brent, Jay, Cav and myself were all at Jay's house, in the basement, I forget what we were doing but I'm sure someone will remind me, and everyone in the house except us was asleep by one in the morning.
Now, I don't know if it's like this all over the world (well, yeah, it is), but here when it gets that late, there are only two things on: Beavis and Butthead and pornorgraphic movies on pay-TV.
So, together, Brent, Cav and I got the idea that we should try to steal pay-TV.
I knew I had the instructions at home, so I suggested that we go and get them. Jay told us to get stuffed. So Brent, Cav and I went for a walk.
Now, to get from Jay's house to mine it is necessary to walk for about an hour, most of which is along a major highway. Of course, due to construction on this major highway, it was necessary to walk along portions of the middle of the road, where we could have been creamed by oncoming traffic at any time.
By the time we got to my house, we were pretty damn tired. I shut off the alarm system and turned on the computer, which is where my file on stealing cable was. All this noise caused my mother to wake up. She was very confused. I introduced her to Cav and Brent. She was still confused. I think she's still confused right now.
I copied the file onto a disk, and found some old telephone wire which I had picked up on a ski trip once. After grabbing a Coke (which involved passing my still confused mother on the stairs), we headed out again.
By this time we were very tired and hallucinatory. I started saying how great this was, that we should do it more often, and that it was probably feasible to go an entire month without sleeping just by going for long walks. This line of conversation continued until we got back to Jay's house.
Upon arriving, we discovered that the door was locked.
I laid down on Jay's lawn to keep from dying. Cav and Brent, I believe, tried to tap on the basement window to find Jay. Nothing worked.
So, since it was three in the morning by now, we all decided to walk home. Cav told us a neat story about how he nearly got laid. But I can't tell you who was involved. He also said he would have to climb into his second-story window from the outside to get into his house without his parents noticing.
I got home by four-thirty. I whittled a stick most of the way home.
Brent had the farthest to walk, but he's still alive, so we know he didn't die.
Later, Jay told us we could have just rung the doorbell.
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