Don't know what I really expected,
Though I know it was more than this.
You treat me like a rag doll...
And I can't break myself away,
From your memory.
The night we kissed,
For the very first time,
Or the time you first reached for my hand.
You sent chills through me.
Wondered if they went through you,
But now I'm almost postive they did not.
I'm not sure if you ever felt chills,
And if you did,
She must have hurt you bad.
I'm sorry that I don't live up to your expectations,
Of what a "girl" should be.
I wanted to call you...
I wanted to hear your voice say my name.
I think you forgot it,
If you ever really knew it.
The problem isn't that you don't love me...
I don't love you.
It's that in every word I say,
I hear you sigh in disgust.
We didn't used to be like this.
It wouldn't hurt so bad,
If nothing was riding on this.
I thought to myself,
A few small kisses,
Maybe he'll hold my hand...
I gave up too much for those chills.
Thought they were real,
When pins pricks would make me feel better.