Arianne's Gossip Page
News about The Spice Girls, Hanson, anyone you don't really like, or even people you do. This page is *SSSH* completely fabricated. In other words, I make all this stuff up. If it's good, it means that I like the people I'm writing about if not….. You get the picture? If you want to promote someone you like, or bash someone you don't, send me an e-mail: Darklighter_Solo@hotmail.com Another great aspect about this page is that I encourage you guys to SPREAD THE WORD. If I say Hanson is breaking up because Zac's voice changed, you tell the fans in the Hanson chat room what I told you. It's simple. The only thing that's true on here is the thing about Ben Affleck.
MY GOSSIP
On the Spice Girls-
Ginger Spice (formerly Sexy Spice), has quit the group due to mental problems. She has released through British publishing that, "I hear voices whispering to me through the walls. The say that the other girls in the group are out to get me! I couldn't stay with them any longer." Her mental problems can be confirmed through the new title of her solo album "Schyzo". Geraldine Estelle Halliwell (Ginger Spice) has returned to her former occupations as a Club dancer, and cable TV presenter.
*Note to gossip spreaders*- Geri's former occupations are the exact ones I listed. She was a stripper/exotic dancer, and one of those porn show performers. EEEW!*
Posh Spice has announced her marriage to that cute little soccer player on July 4th in a private ceremony. The couple announced on the 5th, that they had already taken their honeymoon where they both lost their virginity in a night of endless bliss. They publicly released that Posh will give birth to a baby girl in 7 months. Do the math.
*Tabloids have mentioned a marriage in the future, but no baby*
Baby Spice just can't seem to lose that Baby Fat, and has become an anorexic-bulimic. She is undergoing treatment in which she plans to have her extra fat sucked out through a tube. She claims all the credit for this discovery of fat reduction and says she came up with the idea after the aliens gave her an anal probe and sucked her appendix out through a tube. The press and the doctors, for the sake of her recovery, have declined to tell her that there is already such a procedure for fat removal. It's called liposuction.
Scary, Baby, Ginger, and Posh are all among the women who are demanding compensation for silicon breast implants that ruptured and caused them to become ill. Sporty is not suing, however, because she never had any of the implants. She was teased among the group because of this, they had an inside joke in which they called her "Flat Spice." Sporty is undergoing intensive psychotherapy for these taunts, and a neurosis that can be traced back to a tragic childhood.
*she wasn't teased in the group, she was teased at school*
On Hanson-
Hanson is splitting up due to the 'untimely' changing of Taylor and Zac's voices. They can no longer hit the high notes in such 'favorites' as MMMBop, Where's the Love, and I Will Cum...er Come To You. Isaac is suing because he states his brothers have breached a contract. He insists that they pay him damages, since because of their mistakes he can no longer be famous. The least favorite Hanson brother, is asking for 12 million dollars each from his brothers. They are expected to settle out of court...in the rec-room wrestling competition.
On Ben Affleck-
This 'sexy' new screen star wasn't always 'all that'. He starred in a film special called Voyage of the Mimi I and II back around the time he was thirteen. He was a class A dork, quite unattractive and quite well, dorky. It was a lowly publicized PBS-type National Geographic-type series about the Maya culture. They made us watch it way back in 6th grade. It scared me. I don't think I've ever recovered. From what I've heard he's muscled out since then and is a bit better looking. I don't think I can ever look at him without seeing a skinny-as-a-rail 12-year-old dork in a speedo. They also say his voice has deepened. I doubt I could hear him talk without hearing that kiddy voice of CT Granville that rose and fell in much the same way as the waves he rode in his crappy 'ship'. Needless to say I have no respect for him.
*all this is true*
On Madonna-
Madonna has announced that on her 42nd birthday, she will sleep with all the men invited to her posh party in a last ditch effort to have one last child. She already has one child by soon-to-be-former president Bill Clinton.
*None of this is true except for the fact that she will have her 42nd birthday in a week or so*
YOUR GOSSIP