May 25th, the year 2000 - Hey man, I'm not talking about some sorta damn "fligga-marooni". okay, okay. So what are we talking about eh? You silly moron, i'm going on and on about the dream that has been realized on the silver screen. that dream, is Naked Lettuce. I think i better tell you a little story to help clear away the jelly. and it goes a litte something like this...
Once, when I was a small boy, my Uncle Jack gave me a hand gun for my birthday. He used to laugh and laugh. I went out in the back yard and i fired that sucker. Damn near blew my hand off. i loved it so much i buried it. About a week later i had that dream where your buried weapon (i call er "majesty") comes out of the ground and knocks on your bedroom window. you know this dream. but not a kill-you-in-your-sleep foster parents kinda knock; more like a lets-play-but-its-dangerous tap tap tap. then majesty blasted thru my window, blam! blam! blam! and the bullets went thru my brain but the brains weren't brains they were like little cheese burgers, or maybe they were race cars. they were race cars! and they zoomed around my room until i was deaf.
And now i'm deaf. So you see, sometimes a gun isn't a good present, but it's still pretty good. Come back next week when i disect a giraffe live from Las Vegas, Nevada! Until then... (please, sing along to the tune of John Denver's immortal "Thank God I'm a Country Boy")
OOOOOHHHH
i'm a snake, i'm a snake, i ain't got no legs
livin on a farm, eatin mice and bread
suckin down prune juice, playin my fiddllllllllllle
lights out and i go da sleep!
Good night erybuddy. god bless.