Well hello to you, and all your duckbilled mammals.
If there ever was a man to be remembered it is Dwane.
Dwane had a cow. This was no ordinary cow. This cow was two and a half feet
tall and about three feet long. Dwane was no ordinary man either, he weighed
about 290 pounds and wore tight jeans and a belt buckle so that he could get
the maxium amount of gut to hang over his belt. Well every morning Dwane rode
his poor cow. For years the neighbors watched him and thought he was insane.
That was because while riding the cow he would yell "Onward Shithead!" and
spur the cow. As it turns out the cows name was Shithead, but his neighbors
still thought he was insane. One of his neighbors was Cleetus he had a story
about Dwane, "Well one day I was watchin ol' Dwane fishin in our hole (it was
actually a hole, not a fishing hole, no water) and I went up to him and said
'That there ain't no fishin hole that's a plain ol' hole" to which Dwane
responded ' I aint fishin fo fish, I'm fishin fo Shithead" and sure enough
about ten minutes later he hauled out poor Shithead. Damnedest thing I ever
saw." Well about three weeks later Dwane was out riding Shithead and at the
same time the Space Shuttle Discovery was taking off. Soon after, one of the
booster rockets accidentally dislodged from the ship. Luckly the shuttle was
able to regain track and continue into space. But poor Dwane and ol' Shithead
were nailed by that damn booster rocket and killed on the spot. Then good ol'
Cleetus said " Well shit now thats the damnedest thing I ever did see."
Phillip Jefferis
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