i am impressed by your intelligence in coming to my site, although looking through it you may become greatly confused, it isn't the best plot on the internet world, but it is getting there, i have had it for about a year and a half and i come back regularly to edit it more. it obviously has a long way to go, but i keep trying, i want it to be perfect, and someday it will be.
let the excitement begin.... da dada dahhh.... my life is long and boring so i am not going to hold you up with the long story. i am 16 years old. I live in maine, and my name is laura. i love australia, and just about any wild animal. i am a big fan of the goo goo dolls, incubus, lincoln park, and orgy among other bands. i have been to 5 concerts in my life span, so far, the first one was orgy, then i went to a verve pipe concert, a lot of fun, but cant beat orgy, and i also went to two local band concerts. they will always be one of my favorite bands as well. finally on november 28 i went to another orgy concert, but this time it was partnered up with about 5 other bands in WCYY's holiday bazaar!!
right now i am going through some major reconstruction.. you may look around and read about a person you think is nothing like myself.. because of the time span from when i first started it... i have grown up a lot since then.. when i started this page i was half way through my ninth grade year of school, my sister still lived with my mother and i, i was just starting my high school career, i had not had much history with guys (sad isn't it... lol) and i had not yet gotten into theater. music was big to me, but it was more of i liked whatever everyone else liked
i am forming my own tastes now.. and getting more into things i truly enjoy. i am having a kick ass time with life right now.... Its just me and mom in the house... i am single again.. have been for over a year, but i am coming in terms with it.. its not so upsetting.. i have a few guys i flirt with openly.. and i am pretty satisfied with that whole sectar of my life.. i know someday i will find the right guy.. and everything will be perfect.. heehee.. i am becoming a true theater junkie, and i am on the math team.. i enjoy english class almost more than anything, and i truly adore singing, i recently went to california, and went to the san fransisco zoo.... i am learning not to care what people think about me, and i am searching with in my soul for answers, some of my friends call me extremely spiritual, and i think that suits me best.. although i was raised roman catholic until my dad moved to cali and i no longer had transportation.. i do not know what religion i am today. in fact i don't think i really have a religion.. i think i am just kinda there... i believe in fate, and that good things come to good people, and patience is rewarded... i write a lot, and whenever i listen to "return to innocence" my aura is replenished, and i am at one with the world.. i love it, its one of those feelings no one can explain.. i seem to be long winded, and confusing.. i am sorry.. i don't know what to say.. i know right now i am at a point in my life where i care a lot about a persons feelings, i have been trying extra hard to be the best person i can be, i try not to do anything that offends people, and i don't do anything that i wouldn't want done to me... my best friends say i am "the nicest person they know" and i say "no, i am just being what i think a friend should be, i couldn't conceive being any other way" i have this inner feeling that i sense things other people don't, i don't like to tell people this because they would probably think me crazy, but it is how i feel... i also have an odd connection with my cat, i believe she can predict the future, past, and present... i believe that fortune cookies can be correct, and that everyone has their place in life... and that is me... well, not all of me.. just a few random thoughts
it has been a while since i have edited or even had time to look at my webpage, and i know this will probably go onlooked at, or unnoticed but i would like to just take the time, and sit back, and just type some more random thoughts. the date is august 4, 2001. i am at my dads apartment in california. i have been here for a little over two weeks, and will be heading home in just a couple of days. i have enjoyed my time here, we have gone to san fransisco, lake tahoe, up to the redwoods, and even down to los angeles, specifically hollywood. i enjoyed that a lot. i find every day my passiong for theater grows stronger. here i sit a 17 year old girl, about to start her senior year in high school. full of curiosity, i want to experience the world, and yet everything back home is a security blanket, i want to get up and explore, but i dont want my security blanket to dissapear, its crazy, but it makes me happy to know that home is still home and i can go back there if i want at any moment. its a sense of security. i have been thinking a lot lately, i emailed a few friends that have been on my mind lately, they have all made incredible impacts on my life. i hope they know that, but i dont know if they really KNOW that, but i suppose telling them is the best i can do at this point, when i get back home i can try to show them. i have come to the conclusion that people mean a lot to me, no matter if they are best friends, lovers, friends, or friendly acquintances. although at the present moment i think they all fit into the last 2 categories.. i am single.. have been since may or june. i know its horrible that i dont know but.. it seemed like the whole time we were dating we were just friends.. so.. the time when we were "dating" kind of morphs into the time when we were "friends" although i dont really think we are more than aquintances now.. i am growing distant from everyone, and i dont know if it is me, or if they are growing distant too.. a lot of my friends from school have become acquintances, and a lot of my best friends have become friends. most people i would concider best friends are from theater, and we only really talk during a show. i mean we keep in touch, but for the most part we all have our own lives with work, and family, untill a show starts up and we see each other every day. its kind of sad, i have to admit, i wish i had people i was closer with, but at the same time. i suppose with life, and how much it fluctuates, and changes, its better to just have a bunch of acquintances, as long as you enjoy what you do, and your always happy. thats something i speak out about a lot, i used to be so unhappy because everything i did was for the best of my future, and i never thought about the now, but now i am always thinking about the now, and i worry about the future when it comes. it is a much better out look on life. i enjoy it too. i must afdmit right now i am a little weary on my future, but that is only because in little over a week i have to decide between field hockey and directing a show. i know more than anything i want to direct a show, and i have allready told everyone that is what i am doing.. but on a more personal level, i want to lose weight, i didnt play field hockey last year, and so i am a littl bigger now than i normally would be, and it is bothering me, more than anything, and no one uinderstands because according to them i look thin.. or atleast not fat, but to me, i cant stand to look at myself, and all i can think.. is oh i wish i could lose just 20 pounds, and i know with just one month of field hockey i would.. its horrible, that is the only reason i want to play, and it shouldnt be, i should want to play because it is fun, and beleive me it is so much fun, i have the time of my life. but i have much more fun with theater. and oh.. i hate it.. i wish that i had the interest to go running every day, but i never think about it. it is so stupid, i know thats all i have to do, but i never do it.. so thats that. i sit and i type instead of going out and running.. what a brilliant plan, sarcastically speaking of course. well.. right now.. besides the whole weight issue the only thing that is bothering me in life is that i am single, yes i have had my share of relationships, but besides one that was backstage, and under bad circumstances, i feel like the rest meant nothing but friendships to me, and so in a sense i can honestly say that i have always been single, and that frustrates me, beyond that there is a guy that i have liked a lot for well over a year, we met through the theater group i participate with. i dont know if he knows i like him, i am sure i have mentioned it to him before, but through my lonliness i have hooked up with people since than, so i am sure that he doubts that my feelings for him are still there, but alas, i have this hunch that even if he knew i was crazy about him, he still would care less. it is very distressing. i talk to him on and off, and he never really says much, and i dont even know what it is about him that attracts me so much, but he is just irresistable to me physically and mentally. and i want so much just to be with him.. and it just seems the more i think that the more its never going to happen. i mention the situation to my friends a lot, and they all seem to think that he likes me, or something, but i dont trust in that because they only know what i have told them, and of course no matter how much i try not to i am going to embellish the more positive side rather than the negative, i am only human. so i sit here as he treats me as he treats everyone else, and i hope for something magical that will never happen, and i wonder what if? its crazy, but its me. thats what i think
i find the colors, and pictures of this page to be very soothing, for another page that is similarly soothing go to purity santity's page created by me