Ben Folds Five--Whatever and Ever Amen


ONE ANGRY DWARF AND 200 SOLEMN FACES

September '75 I was 47 inches high
Mom said someday I would have
A badass mother G.I. Joe
for your little minds to blow
I still got beat up after class

Now I'm big and important
one angry dwarf
and 200 solemn faces
are you
If you want to see me
check your papers and your T.V.
Look who's tellin' who what to do
Kiss my ass good-bye

Don't give me that bullshit
you know who I am
I'm your nightmare little man
Vic you stole my lunch money.
made me cry.
Jane remember second grade
Said you couldn't stand my face
Rather than kiss me you said
you'd rather die

You'll be sorry one day
Yes you will, yes you will
You shouldn't push me around
Cause I will, yes I will
You will be sorry when I'm big
Yes you will be sorry


FAIR

He shouted out his last word
And he stumbled through the yard
And she shattered her last china plate
And spun off in the car
When he lunged onto the hood 
She stopped to tell him she'd been wrong
He was thrown head over heels
Into the traffic coming on
But then
All is fair in love

Did you get my other letters
Sometimes I think I oughta call
Cause you know I often
Wonder if you open them at all
Every couple nights or so 
You know you pop into my dreams
I just can't get rid of you 
Like you got rid of me
Ohh but I send my best
Cause God knows you've seen my worst
But then all is fair in love
All this breathing in never breathing out
I guess she made her way
Through the mob too late to hear him say

That he'd gotten all he'd wanted
A crowd to watch him bear the pain
He'd been keeping in
So what-
All is fair in love


BRICK

6 am day after Christmas
I throw some clothes on in the dark
The smell of cold
Car seat is freezing
The world is sleeping
I am numb

Up the stairs to her apartment
She is balled up on the couch
Her mom and dad went down to Charlotte
they're not home to find us out
And we drive

Now that I have found someone
I'm feeling more alone
Than I ever have before
She's a brick and I'm drowning slowly

they call her name at 7:30
I pace around the parking lot
then I walk down to buy her flowers
And sell some gifts that I got
Can't you see
It's not me you're dying for
Now she's feeling more alone
Then she ever has before

She's a brick and I'm drowning slowly
off the coast and I'm headed nowhere
She's a brick and I'm drowning slowly

As weeks went by
It showed that she was not fine
They told me son it's time to tell the truth
She broke down and I broke down
Cause I was tired of lying

Driving home to her apartment
For the moment we're alone
She's alone
I'm alone
Now I know it


SONG FOR THE DUMPED

So you wanted 
to take a break
Slow it down some and
have some space

Well fuck you too
Give me my money back
Give me my money back
you bitch
I want my money back
 (And don't forget to give
me back my black T-Shirt)

Wish I hadn't bought you dinner
Right before you dumped me
on your front porch
Give me my money back
Give me my money back
You bitch
I want my money back
and don't forget

And don't forget.


SELFLESS, COLD, AND COMPOSED

I said what you wanted to hear
And what I wanted to say
So I will take it back
Are all the dishes intact?
Let them be broken
It's easy to be
Easy and Free
When it doesn't mean anything
You remain selfless, cold and composed

You've done me no favor
to call and be nice
Telling me I
Can take anything I like
You don't owe me to be so Polite
You've done no wrong
You've done no wrong
Get out of my sight
It's easy to be easy and free
When it doesn't mean anything
You remain
Selfless, cold, and composed

Come on baby. Now throw me 
a right to the chin
Don't you stare like 
You never cared
I know you did
You just smiled
like a band teller
telling me bleakly
have a nice life


KATE

She plays wipeout on the drums
the squirrels and the birds come
Gather around to sing the guitar
Oh I...have you got nothing to say

When all words fail she speaks
Her mix tape's a masterpiece 
Walks through the garden
so the roses can see
Oh I...have you got nothing to say
And you can see the daisies 
in her footsteps
Dandelions, butterflies
I wanna be Kate

Everyday she wars the same thing
I think she smokes pot
She's everything I want, She's everything I'm not
Oh. I...
Have you got nothing to say

She never gets wet 
She smiles and it's a rainbow
And she speaks and she breathes
I wanna be Kate

Down by the Rosemary and Cameron
She hands out the Bhagaved Gita
I see her around every couple days
I wanna meet her so that 
I can say...hey Kate


SMOKE

Leaf by Leaf page by page
Throw this book away
All the sadness all the rage
Throw this book away
Rip out the binding, tear the glue
All of the grief we never ever knew
We had it all along

Now its smoke
The things we've written in it
Never really happened
All of the people come and gone
Never really lived
All of the people have come have gone

No one to forgive smoke
We will never write a new one
There will not be a new one
Another one, another one
Here's an evening dark with shame
Throw it on the fire
here's the time I took the blame
Throw it on the fire
Here's the time we didn't speak
it seemed for years and years
Here's a secret
No one will ever know the 
realsons for the tears
They are smoke

Where do all the secrets live
They travel in the air
You can smell them when they burn
They travel
Those who say the past is not dead
Stop and smell the smoke
You keep on saying the past is not dead
Come on and smell the smoke
You keep saying the past is not even past
You keep saying
We are, smoke


CIGARETTE

Fred Jones was worn down
from caring for his often
screaming and crying wife
burning the day but
He couldn't sleep at night for fear that she
In a stooper from the drugs that didn't even
ease the pain would set the house on blaze
with a cigarette.


STEVEN'S LAST NIGHT IN TOWN

Everyone gather round now
sing us a song
just in case by tomorrow
it happens he's gone
For two weeks and seven days
Our fair foreign friend
I have this feeling
We might never see Steven again
We thought he was gone
But he's come back again
Last week it was funny
Not the jokes wearing thin
everyone knows now
That every night now
Will be Steven's last night 
in town

He's charmed everyone here
Except for Tamara Easter
Who later revealed to him
Her innermost secrets
Won us over with stories
About Linda McCarthey
Lost points with the ladies
For saying he couldn't love a
woman with cellulite

We were talking bout something
seems like was funny
Then Steven got quiet
I think Steven was mad
Maybe he wasn't mad
But we felt really strange for a moment
then the moment was gone
and forgotten


BATTLE OF WHO COULD CARE LESS

Do you not hear me anymore
I know it's not your thing to care
I know it's cool to be so bored
I sucks me in
when you're aloof
It sucks me in, it sucks it works
I guess it's cool to be alone

Will you never rest
Fighting the battle of who could care less
Everyday you wake up late
Sometimes I wish I was
that way

And you think Rockford Files is cool
But there are some things 
that you would change 
if it were up to you
So think about your masterpiece
Watch the Rockford Files
And call to see if Paul can score some weed.

Will you never rest
Fighting the battle of who could care less
Unearned unhappiness
That's all right I guess...

I've go this great idea
Why don't we pitch it to the Franklin Fucking Mint
Fine pewter portraits of
general apathy and major boredom singing...
Whatever and ever Amen
Oh well maybe not try again
This should cheer you up for sure
See I've got your old I.D.
And you're all dressed up like the Cure
Will you never rest
fighting the battle 
of who could care less
unearned unhappiness
You're my hero I confess


MISSING THE WAR 

All is quiet his tired eyes
see figures jotted down
And clothes all strewn around 
the bedroom flood
Now nothing's adding up
And nothing's making sense
She's sleeping like a baby
She doesn't like a baby
She doesn't know he wasn't meant for this
I'm missing the war
I'm missing the war all night
Missing the war
He drove home again
Pissed and beaten
Its really no big deal
It happens all the time
Its no big deal

I'm missing the war
I'm missing the war all night
Missing the war
I'm missing the war

'Till beads of sunlight hit me in the morning
So much time so little to say
Time may fly
And dreams may die
The shaking voice that tells him go
Still thinks he might
He knows he won't
I'm missing the war
Missing the war all night
Missing the war


EVAPORATED

What I've kept with me
And what I've thrown away
And where the hell I've ended up
On this glary random day
Were the things I really cared about
Just left along the way
For being too pent up and proud
Woke up way too late
Feeling hung over and old
And the sun was shining bright
And I walked barefoot down the road
Started thing about my old man
It seems that all men
Wanna get into a car and go anywhere?

Here I stand,
Sad & free
I can't cry and I can't see
What I've done
God...What have I done
So don't you know I'm numb, man
No I don't feel a thing at all
Cause its all smiles and business these days
and I am indifferent to the loss
I've faith that there's a soul
whose leading me around
I wonder if she knows
Which way is down...
I poured my heart out
I poured my heart out
it evaporated...see?

Blind man on a canyon's edge
of a Panoramic scene
Or maybe I'm a kite
That's flying high & random
Dangling a string
Or slumped over in a vacant room
Head on a stranger's knee
I'm sure back home
They think I've lost my mind.

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