The UK NannyMUD Party 2000

The UK NannyMUD Party - July 2000

This report was typed and edited by Max Hodges aka Readis so many thanks for that!

Disclaimer: My apologies if the log begins to make less and less sense towards the end of the evening. Much beer was consumed and the writing got less and less legible

The definitive list of who attended:

Christia
Firelight
Giltas
Hayt
Johann
Lectral
Mats
Mengor aka Carloz
Meister
Mistress
Moonchild
Mortis
Readis
Valentine
Valdor

Date: 8/7/2000

Place: Liverpool, England (Liverpudlians claim that Liverpool _is_ in England, although the rest of the country strongly denies it)

The party kicked off with a select group of people who went off ten-pin bowling during the afternoon. They included Mistress, Mats, Mortis and a few others (not being there I don't have an accurate record). Lectral failed to make it as he still had an appalling hangover from the night before and spent most of the day in bed!

However, the real party started off with a few beers in a good old-fashioned English pub, named the 'Finch and Firkin'. A log was kept from this point on, so I will endeavour to list it in full. Valentine was very insistent that all entries were timestamped so I'll add those in as well.

Finch & Firkin Pub - Wavertree, Liverpool

18:15 Evening begins in Finch and Firkin. Company present: Mats, Mortis, Moonchild, Mistress, Readis, Firelight, Lectral, Mengor, Hayt, Valentine.
Mistress on coke! [The log fails to specify which sort of coke]
Mortis and Firelight are already boring everyone by going on and on about client versus the shell.
18:40 Valentine attempts to keep the topic away from Nanny.
18:40 Velentine fails miserably.
18:40 Valdor turns up. [We'd forgotten him and left him behind in his room]
18:40 Readis stops entire evening by asking 'So what is the admin policy on Nanny?' Mats stays silent.
18:40 Valentine makes sure that everyone knows that it still is 18:40.
18:45 Firelight and Mortis start discussing Monks at length.
18:45 Mortis blamed for absolutely everything. Ever.
18:46 Mortis IS guilty.
18:46 Valentine still obsessed by the time.
18:47 Firelight described as a 'speccy balding guy'. [An accurate observation.]
18:48 Firelight accused of being Firebird. General merriment.
18:50 Firelight utterly appalled by accusation. [It took him 2 minutes to register it.]
18:50 Lectral nearly attempts to use the ladies' toilet.
18:50 Moonchild named a b**tard due to his fleas.
18:55 Firelight calls Lectral immature. [Pot calling the kettle black.] 1
9:00 Valentine orders a soft drink. Wuss!!
19:05 'Nannymudders are wusses' - apparently because cider is the most popular drink this round (Firelight and foreign mudders being the guilty parties).
19:06 Hayt discovers that he is a foreign mudder.
19:06 Firelight boldly defends his deep love of cider. So there.
19:07 Readis calls Firelight a pussy.
19:08 Firelight really hates Readis.
19:09 Readis delicately enquires if Firelight does want a lift home tomorrow - 'Guess who's stuck in Liverpool?'
19:10 Answer: Everyone!
19:07 Mengor tries to write something interesting, but fails miserably.
19:12 Moonchild is intrigued at the backwards movement of time between the last two entries.
19:14 Firelight and Readis give most of their area secrets away to Valentine.
19:20 Firelight leaves west.
19:22 Firelight arrives.
19:22 Several wizards are slagging off a certain admin.
19:34 Firelight's phone's vibrations get him every time (sad f**ker).
19:35 Party generally wonders where Mistress and everyone else is?
19:36 Mortis wonders whether Mistress is 'doing' Giltas.
19:36 Lectral says that Valentine is old when he realises her age.
19:40 Readis exclaims: Who the f**k sponsored Reece? General Reece bashing begins!
19:40 New arrivals: Mistress, Giltas, Meister, Johann, Johann's bird. (Nobody has a f**king clue who is who) ['Johann's bird' turned out to be Christia.]
19:40 Moonchild makes vague accusations of a Mistress gangbang.
19:42 Everyone still obsessing about the f**king time! Particularly the guy who wrote '19:42' at the start of the above entry. [No idea who that was ;)]
19:44 Mengor is wondering where this is going to. Mistress finally has some beer.
19:46 Firelight is trying to introduce everyone by name (Nanny and RL) to the new arrivals, and f**ks up at Valdor.
19:?? Moonchild thinks Mats should write something in the log.
19:52 Mats thinks Valentine looks gorgeous this evening !Hotstuff!
19:53 Everyone goes 'Ahh'!
19:54 Hayt nearly gets assaulted by five small kids in the toilet. [At least it wasnt the female toilet Lectral]
19:55 Mortis is showing clear signs of intoxication.
19:56 Valentine gets another orange juice....WUSS!!
19:57 Fisk discussion starts! (Valentine starts removing her clothes)
20:00 Firelight described as the 'wrecker of dreams' for marrying Mistress.
20:01 Mistress points out that the divorce occurred years ago.
20:02 Mistress reckons that Reece is alright. Firelight wants to break his [Reece's] legs.
20:05 Reece bashing reaches new heights!
20:06 Some bizarre comment about jukeboxes from Giltas. Firelight has no idea what he is on about.
20:07 Banshee bashing commences again.
20:08 Mistress gets strangled. FIGHT!!! Valdor hides under the table. [No comments about knight valour please.]
20:10 Mistress causes huge rumpus!
20:11 Firelight starts insulting Mistress.
20:16 Meister wonders exactly why the pary has a notepad. (And wonders how he can misspell party)
20:17 Johann agrees, and capers merrily, but no-one is looking, so beats a local at pool. 'Bah!'
20:18 Giltas bemoans the fact that Johann vanished off to the pool table forever and a day
20:20 Firelight and Mistress continue to argue.
20:22 Johann rants at Mengor about pronounciation in various languages. Mengor ignores Johann. Johann shuts up.
20:23 Firelight starts talking about 'massdebation'.
20:24 Firelight defends himself - 'Get a grip!'
20:25 Heading off for the curry now. P*ssing down outside ;(
20:28 Fight starts over possession of Valentine's roomkey! Hayt has it now dammit! But Mortis will have it soon! After that Mengor will murder Mortis in a back alley to take control of the roomkey.
20:32 Mengor starts lying like hell.
20:33 Mengor denies everything, and points at Valdor accusingly.
20:34 Hayt sits quietly in the corner with the key.

Restaurant - MasterChef Curry House, Liverpool City Centre

20:37 Arrive at the restaurant. Lectral enters with a vague, but big smile.
20:40 Readis observes that with only three girls present, there could be trouble....
20:41 Mengor claims all the girls to be his, so what's the trouble?
20:44 Moonchild asks Firelight what it is like to have sex with a woman.
20:45 Mistress refuses to down a bottle of wine, then takes only 2 minutes to do so. Firelight claims she can do it in 30 seconds. [Do what exactly Firelight?]
20:52 Mengor just needed to write something down in the log (confused already - damn the night hasn't even begun!)
20:53 Mengor is really worried about his grammer - poor boy. In his defence he isn't a native English speaker. [Moonchild failed to spell grammar correctly in the above entry, and he _is_ a native English speaker]
20:54 Mistress recommends the Chicken Tandoori Masala to Valdor, who is stupid enough to take her advice.
21:04 Everyone eats popadoms!
21:05 Firelight has to choose Lectral's curry - awesome responsibility. [Firelight settled for the curry that he has _every_ _single_ time that he goes to a curry house - chicken tikka masala]
21:15 Lectral makes unprintable accusations about one of out much-loved Arch-wizards. How shameful!
21:16 Boring boring wizards! Mortals rule! (Said by Mistress after 2 bottles of wine)
21:17 Mengor falls on the floor.
21:20 Mistress bottles out. [of downing another bottle of wine]
21:22 Mistress says: Stop picking on Valentine. Meanies! Valentine denies being picked on.
21:23 Lectral displays a worrying interest in Banshee's physical appearance!
21:27 There aren't enough women here!
21:31 There are. It's just a matter of being in the right place at the right time ;-) [Johann]
21:32 Just 'cos you're not single [unnamed single bloke]
21:33 Bah! I am virtually single. Well, not more that 1 1/2. [Johann] [Christia looked confused at this point]
21:33 Je ne comprends pas! Qu'est-ce que tu as dit??!! Bof!! [unnamed single bloke again]
21:34 Mats seen laughing. General astonishment.
21:35 Hayt drops poppadum in miniscule gap between table and wall.
21:36 Firelight has no idea what is going on
21:37 Mistress doesn't like wine. (General astonishment!)
21:38 Party realises that Mistress is talking rubbish.
21:39 Valdor looks confused and starts spilling drinks.
21:40 Giltas goes out to phone the missus! [Sad bugger!]
21:43 Giltas is being a long time.
21:43 Apparently, Johann's 'waggler' will make an appearance shortly. Meister cowers in fear.
21:44 (But Meister has already seen it)
21:45 Readis delicately enquire whether Valentine is 'active' at the moment.
21:45 Mistress is being a teacup???
21:46 Giltas is still discussing Johann's waggler.
21:49 Giltas points out that his waggler discussion came hard [??] on the heels of his 'report in' to the missus.
21:49 Mortis elopes to another table...
21:48 Time goes backwards temporarily.
21:49 Mistress, Valdor and Giltas down chilli sauce. Bugger. Much wastage!
21:50 Giltas feels worse for wear.
21:52 Mengor demands his seat back.
21:55 Readis and Valentine debate signatures.
21:56 Valentine shows off her 'aitches'.
21:55 Mats does his autograph for Mistress Mistress *beams*.
21:56 Moonchild spills wine everywhere.
21:57 Mengor wants food.
21:58 Valdor and Firelight are fighting about a camera. Mengor still wants food.
22:04 Lots of curry......
22:07 Missy and Valentine feel wobbly.
22:08 Mortis says: Please not while we are eating.
22:08 Valdor's eyes go blank as he says: 'yess... Mistresss.'
22:10 Christia claims that alcohol is illegal in Wales.
22:11 Christia has the hiccups. 'Yay!'
22:12 Valdor is still hungry.
22:13 Hayt talks about popadums. Readis talks about Valentine's eyes. Mengor coughs.
22:14 Mistress is pissed. Valentine can't write. Valdor appreciates Mistress' spaghetti, but not her driving. Mengor agrees.
22:15 Mistress stalls again.
22:19 Mistress starts a food fight.
22:20 Mengor ignores Mistress.
22:25 RT knights are nothing. (Mistress and Firelight accept it)
22:30 Firelight admits to a trained right hand.
22:33 Mengor and Mortis chain smoke in the corner.
20:34 Pen runs out.
22:35 Still no-one up for a demotion. If they don't give me more free drinks, there might be some adjustments of levels. [Mats]
22:40 Mats says: This is the _real_ mud 10th anniversary. Lots of cheers.
10:41 We debate whether Giltas will vomit before the end of the evening.
22:42 Mistress begs Mengor.
22:45 Mortis talks about boring wizstuff with Mats.
22:49 Reece abuse continues.
22:49 Valentine drinks water and is quiet.
22:52 General company wants to go to a club. Some mutiny in the ranks.
22:55 Lectral apparently wants to snog everyone. [The log originally recorded Firelight as being the target of Lectral's affections, but someone crossed it out.]
22:56 Lectral hates queers!
23:00 Bill panic!
23:01 Readis announces that Valentine has just offered her services. Valentine denies all vociferously. Mengor looks innocent. Christia sleeps.
23:02 Mortis has hot hands. Everyone sucks on lollipops, especially Mats.
23:03 Lectral declares that he is going to 'ask a girl for cunnilingus'
23:05 Giltas and Valdor pass quite some time in the loo. Mistress goes in and sorts them out. All emerge quite happy.
23:06 Lectral, Firelight and Readis get glittered by Valentine.
23:06 Mengor and Valdor repeatedly ask what 'cunnilingus' is.
23:10 Outside club.
23:12 Giltas explains 'cunnilingus' to Mengor and Valdor. Both express their shock.

Club - L2 , Liverpool City Centre

23:20 Everyone in club. Becks appears to be the most popular drink. Valentine is heavily into the orange juice again. Wuss!!!
23:32 Valentine claims Lectral as her own.
23:32 Giltas appears to be pretending to be under the influence of some very powerful stimulants. Either that, or he's a wierdo.
23:33 Giltas _is_ a wierdo.
23:35 Firelight is felt up by a strange bloke. Firelight runs away.
23:35 Moonchild tries to persuade Lectral to appear in a TV documentary called 'The A to Z of Sexual Practice' as advertised in the club.
23:40 Mistress and Valentine dancing. Giltas attempting to dance.
23:41 Mats CAPERS!!!
23:43 Mengor is really wondering about the music that is being played. Meanwhile Mistress and Valentine hit the dance floor.
23:44 MATS IS DANCING!! (nearly)
23:45 Who cares - he looks like he's having fun!
23:49 Lectral hits the dancefloor, minus shoes. 23:50 Meister suggests everyone move to the upper dance floor.
23:52 Giltas lost track of his beer.
00:00 Valentine grabs Moonchild.
00:01 Mats rocks! Mengor refuses to!
00:02 Giltas has a large dribble patch on his shirt. Origin: unknown.
00:04 Lectral has gone missing.
00:05 Mistress, Valentine and Valdor shout 'mother f**ker' at each other. It might be something to do with the song that is playing tho. Active dancing people: Valentine, Johann, Moonchild, Mats, Hayt, Christia, Readis Meister. (but its changing all the time dammit)
00:30 Missing Lectral explained - 'some nice girl' bought him a drink.
Mistress - is she on the pull tonight? T he question is - who will be the lucky victim.... Contenders: Firelight (Non)contenders: Mortis Giltas now looking distinctly second-hand. Massive photography session on the dance floor. Everyone starts writing messages on Lectral's chest.
00:32 Firelight is horny. He's practically drooling. The bastard. Valentine forced to jump out of the way of a very drunk couple snogging, as they fall on the floor.
00:50 Giltas can't take his beer!!!!
00:51 Mortis bows before Valentine.
00:52 Mistress and Giltas play football with a beercan. Finally some music Mengor really likes -> Oasis!
00:53 OK....who broke the pen?
00:55 Mengor tested the dance floor - yep he's up for it!! Meanwhile, Giltas is giving lessons in pole dancing.
01:00 Firelight confesses that he is pissed.
01:20 Pissed people start drinking Red Bull and vodka - yay!
01:25 Giltas now happily unconscious. Nobody is surprised.
01:27 Lectral makes a play for Valentine.
01:30 Lectral makes a pass at Hayt. Hayt is oblivious.
01:31 There is noone with a camera to record any subsequent passionate snogging.
01:33 (There was a camera.......)
01:35 Hayt seens two girls in slinky police outfits. He expects to see Lectral following them but is disappointed.
01:40 Mortis now looking worse for wear.
01:41 Mortis takes a photo of Hayt, Moonchild, Mats and a random female. Random female asks everyone if they have any E.
01:42 Mengor just starts to warm up. [At this point the pen was lost, however, entries that were missed were:]
Just as Mengor begins to hit his stride, the club closed. Mistress managed to wake Giltas up (method unknown) Readis and Mortis carried Valentine down the stairs of the club. [We then returned to the hall where we were staying and found another pen]

Rathbone University of Liverpool Hall of Residence - Wavertree, Liverpool

02:30 Returning from club, we assemble in Rathbone Hall for more beer.
02:31 Firelight is being horny.
02:32 Firelight is still being horny.
02:33 The man has got a constant hard-on.
02:45 Johann pulls out his waggler for all to see. People take turns to play with it.
02:50 Mistress recalls _all_ her divorces.
02:51 Firelight accuses Lectral of being a mudslut. No denials from the said party.
02:53 Mengor has fun with Johann's waggler.
02:55 Giltas starts to appreciate Johann's waggler.
02:58 Even Mistress finds a way to use the waggler in a positive way.
02:59 Readis fingers the waggler fiercely.
03:00 Mats and Valentine head off to bed. [separately, although they could have met up once out of sight]
03:01 Pussy Readis talks about going to bed.
03:14 Some talk of hedgehogs. Probably started by Firelight. 03:15 All enjoy their beer. Which is nice.
03:16 Mistress is always innocent. Mengor gets very overexcited by the waggler - his technique is a little too proficient.
03:18 Mistress admits that she wants to play with a waggler. Firelight drunkenly looks intrigued.
03:21 Mortis is a light-weight. Everybody decides that Mortis is a WUSSY!
03:22 Readis retires, a complete girl! Company left: Mengor, Hayt, Valdor, Giltas, Johann, Christia, Misti, Firelight, Lectral, Moonchild. Everyone else has wussied out!
03:24 Mistress has an emergency moment. 03:25 Mengor tries to swallow Johann's waggler.
03:25 Mengor does not swallow.
03:28 Mistress begs for a cigarette. Mengor is stupid enough to give her one. [cigarette that is] FAG BREAK!
03:35 Valdor almost destroys the log with an overdose of beer, but manages to wipe it off in time.
03:40 Mistress and Valdor claim that all RT's are innocence personified. There is much scoffing.
03:41 Valdor will demedal all knight seconds on Monday, and Mistress will happily second them!
03:45 Odd graffiti noticed - 'Aeroplanes are gay' Much discussion of this ensues.
03:46 Mistress, Johann and Valdor play football with Johann's waggler. Johann winces in pain as it heads for the plate glass.
04:15 Company head outside for a game of football. -Mistress and Johann bang their heads together. -Male bonding starts.
04:30 Most people now in bed. Mistress and Firelight seen going into the same room. Mistress is overheard saying that the bed is very small. [At least we think it was the bed that she thought was very small]
04:45 Mengor and Valdor persuaded to stay up later by the appearance of more beer.
04:50 Only 4 people left - Mengor, Valdor, Lectral and Moonchild........ [Eventually even they went to bed...]

Next morning: People who get up in time for breakfast: Hayt, Readis, Mats, Valentine and Meister. Johann is upset that no-one came to get him. Readis goes to wake up Firelight only to find the bed unslept in. Readis begins to gather that something might be up (or was that last night?). Firelight reads the log and discovers that he was pissed at 1am. Firelight owns up to being in the same state still.

10:44 Everybody now in a Liverpudlian cafe. It is quite upmarket really. So are the prices. People eat cookies, except for Lectral who is agog at the sugar content. Lectral throws his cookie into the river.

Final quotes:

Meister (to Johann): You're supposed to use the large end of the spoon.
Valentine: I can't remember what I did with my hands last night, but they are quite bruised now. 'What a girl' is the comment from everyone else.
Readis: Thank God I made it to breakfast...I feel great now.
Johann: [is speechless]
Moonchild: More caffeine! More caffeine!
Hayt: *moans inarticulately*
Mats: I think it was a very nice party. I had lots of fun. *Newsflash* Hayt has chocolate stains on his trousers. Predictable remarks are made.
Firelight: My head hurts like hell. [Was that your big or little head F?]
Moonchild reiterates that Firelight is a wuss.
Mistress: *fail caper*
Valdor: Not sick....yet....
Mortis: Ugg...
Mengor: My first time was a success. [We presume he means the mudparty]
Giltas just denies everything.

Awards: The most pissed award goes to Giltas for passing out in the club.
The snog award goes to Mistress and Firelight. [although Firelight was so pissed that he might have been incapable even of that]
The white sock award goes to Mats.
The obscenity award goes to Johann, for the proud display of his waggler.