Brenda's Dreams
Chapter Sixteen

The shower turned on and Jax had to close his eyes and take several deep breaths to
block out the image of the water cascading all over her naked-petite body. It wasn’t
doing any good. He opened his eyes and took several steps towards the bathroom door.
He stopped in front of it and paused for a few seconds before reaching out for the door
handle.

Jax turned the handle and slowly opened the door. He peaked inside and saw Brenda
standing in a glass enclosed shower, water cascading over her body. She was even more
beautiful then he remembered. He longed to touch and be touched by her. He shook his
head. No, it was too soon. He still had some doubts about pursuing a relationship with
her. Hadn’t he been hurt enough by Miranda. He backed out and closed the door.

He walked over to bed, laid down and put his hands behind his head. Why was he
thinking about Miranda now? Brenda wasn’t like Miranda. Miranda was the biggest
witch he knew. They got along all right, but still her name was like a bitter taste in his
mouth. Jax didn’t want to remember the day he had come home from a meeting and
found her in bed with another man. Miranda had tried to tell him that it meant nothing to
her, it was just a dalliance and it would never happen again. Jax had not believed her and
had promptly packed his bags and left. He had immediately filed for a divorce. Miranda
fought it for a while, but when he offered her a huge settlement, she had signed the
papers. Was he ready for another relationship? Jax sighed and closed his eyes.

Brenda heard the door open, but didn’t turn around and look. She knew Jax was
watching her. She hoped that he would enter the bathroom and come into the shower
with her. She was disappointed though when she heard the door close. Maybe he didn’t
want to be involved with her. She should just treat this dinner as business. She would
make the deal and then head back to San Francisco. She sighed. Was that what she
wanted? Brenda finished up her shower, dressed and applied make-up.

When she emerged from the bathroom, she couldn’t see Jax anywhere. Had he left? She
wondered. Then she saw him sprawled across her bed, sound asleep. She couldn’t
believe it. She didn’t know what to do. Should she wake him?

What if when she went to wake him he reached for her, pulled her down on the bed with
him, held her close and captured her lips with his? Brenda’s knees went weak then after
imagining what would happen next.

Why did she want this man so much? He was wrong for her. He had hurt her once
already; he would only hurt her again. Yet if she stayed in the room with him somehow
or other she’d only wind up in his arms. She wouldn’t be able to help herself.

Jax looked so innocent in his sleep. Her fingers yearned to touch him, to push a strand of
golden blond hair that had fallen onto his forehead. She wanted to touch her lips with
his. She wanted to...

Brenda shook her head to clear it. She took a step towards the bed. She needed to wake
him up so that they could get out of the room before anything happened. She called his
name and shook his shoulders, then she took a quick step backwards as he slowly woke
up.

Jax slowly opened his eyes as he heard an angel calling his name. He looked around in
confusion at first not remembering where he was, then his aquamarine eyes cleared and he
focused on Brenda. He realized he was in her hotel room.

“Hi,” he greeted.

“Hi yourself. Are you ready to go? I’m practically starving.”

Jax smiled and nodded. He stood up and stretched.

Brenda turned away from him and picked up her sweater. She coulndn’t watch as he
stretched his muscles. She felt him come up behind her and put his hands on her
shoulders.

“Why don’t you let me help you with that?”

Brenda nodded and handed him the sweater. As he assisted her with putting it on, she
tried not to notice his closeness, tried not to lean back against him to feel his warmth, and
most important try not to turn into his arms and beg him to make love to her.

Jax finished the task, pulling his hands away as quick as he could so that he didn’t reach
out and touch her. He wanted her so bad. He turned and opened the door.

Brenda breathed a sigh of relief as she felt Jax’s hands fall away from her body. She had
come so close to giving in to her desires.

“Ready?”

“Yes.”

********

Jax drove along the freeway towards downtown LA Brenda wondered where they were
headed. Not that she really cared. She just wanted to get the business done so that she
could get away from Jax. She was hypnotized by the motion of the car and the lights
ahead of them on the freeway, but most of all by his presence next to her. What was she
going to do? Anything might happen if she dared to let it. But could she risk being hurt
again? Maybe she should make conversation with him to distract her from his presence.

“Where are we going?” She asked.

“There’s this new restaurant on Melrose that I’ve been wanting to try. I thought we
would go there since neither one of us had ever been there before.”

She nodded. He wanted a new beginning, untainted by any memory. But was it possible?
Could they start over?

They arrived at the restaurant and found that it to be very busy. Jax frowned in
disappointment. It looked like some big event was taking place. He grabbed Brenda’s
hand and led her inside.

A flash of light blinded them for a minute and then a camera was shoved into their face.
A nosy reporter, who introduced herself as V. Ardinoski. She was a reporter for a
nationally syndicated television show that focused on various lifestyles. She began to ask
Jax all kinds of questions. Jax politely answered them all the best he could. Then V
focused her attention on Brenda and began to ask her questions. Jax answered them
instead. There was one question that Jax had paused before answering. Was Jax and
Brenda an item? He wasn’t sure how to answer that one so he had just shrugged his
shoulders. V seemed satisfied with that and promptly left them alone. She had spotted
another celebrity across the room that she wanted to interview.

“Sorry about that,” Jax apologized.

“No problem,” she answered as she allowed Jax to lead her to the reservations desk.

Brenda hadn’t realized that he was in the public eye. She should have though. She
frowned. She had been too busy, she realized, she had been more interested in the man.

Jax gave his name to the hostess and she led them to a small table in the corner. Jax held
Brenda’s chair for her as she sat down. The hostess left them alone after taking their
drink order.

Jax picked up her hand and lightly stroked the inside of her wrist. “Night after night I’ve
dreamed of you. Dreamed of trying to find you, but because I was entangled in
seaweed...”

“No!” she cried, as she pulled her had away, and she raised them up as to ward off a
blow. “I don’t want to hear about it.”

His surprise gave way to an understanding smile. “I had forgotten your sensitive about
dreams and dreaming.”

His hand covered hers again, warm and comforting. “I won’t mention it again.”

Brenda tried to return his smile, tried to dismiss the frightening surmise that they had
dreamed together again. No, she was seeing dragons where none existed.

“Tangled in seaweed?” She did her best to speck lightly. “Sounds Freudian...tentacles
of the past and all that.”

“Like an Octopus?” He shrugged, removing his hand from hers. “You may be right.”

I’ve hit a sensitive spot, Brenda realized. Cover it over or dig it up? She asked herself.
She knew nothing of his life. Had he also had a bad relationship? If they were ever
going to be together, the less concealed between them, the better.

“I’m divorced.” Jax blurted out, after a few minutes of silence.

Brenda paused before answering. “Divorce is a painful process,” she commented,
leaving him the choice of whether to pass or discuss it.”

“California calls it a dissolution of marriage.”

She waited, hoping that he would go on. His aquamarine eyes became blank as he stared
off into space, looking in to the past.

“I came home one day from a meeting and found Miranda in bed with someone else. She
tried to tell me it met nothing, but I didn’t believe her. I packed my bags and left. I filed
for divorce. She fought it at first, but when I offered her a huge settlement she took it,”
Jax let out a laugh. “I thought she loved me, but I guess it was just my money she
wanted.”

Brenda took her hand in hers and gave it a squeeze. Jax finally turned his gaze to her.
“When all that was finally settled, I took a short leave of absence.”

“To go to Cape Cod,” she said softly.

He nodded. “I spent my summer vacations at the Cape. I wanted...” He broke off,
smiling a little. “The last thing in the world I expected was to meet you.”

The last thing in the world you wanted, she thought. The last thing either one of us
wanted at the time.

“Do you suppose Larry misses us?” she asked, hoping to lighten the mood that griped
them both.

Jax laughed. “Larry is loyal to the hand that feeds him, like any other proper gull. What
did you do with him by the way?”

“I took him to someone who would take good care of him.”

All through the meal, though the food was good and Brenda did her best to recover the
comradeare from earlier, but Jax’s feelings from earlier tainted things between them.

“I don’t want to get into that mess again,” he’d said this morning. Now she knew what
he had meant when he said that.

How could he be ready for a new commitment? How could their fragile bond grow and
flourish with his past haunting him?

When they returned to the car. Jax didn’t follow the same route he had when they had
drove to the restaurant. Instead he drove towards the ocean. He finally pulled in front of
a beach house. Brenda couldn’t see much of the house due to the darkness. Jax came
around the car and helped her out, then he lead her inside the house.

Brenda glanced around the living room. It was all done in white. White carpeting, white
couches and white glass topped tables. “I like this. Did you do this yourself?”

“Yes, I moved in here after the divorce.”

Brenda smiled, glad he hadn’t shared the place with the ex-wife.

“Hey, how about a walk along the beach?” He said in an attempt to change the subject.

Brenda nodded in agreement.

“Good, why don’t you take of your hose and shoes. Moonlight walks are meant to be
made barefoot. The bedrooms are through there. The second one is the guest room” He
pointed towards the left.

“Okay, I’ll be back in a couple of minutes,” she said as she walked towards the bedroom.

Brenda hadn’t meant to glance at Jax’s bedroom when she passed, but she couldn’t resist
a quick peek. A deep blue spread covered a king-size waterbed. Above the bed hung a
large oil painting of an old abandoned building at the water’s edge, it outline blurred by
the gray fog that dominated the picture. A haunting sense of familiarity made her stare at
the painting. Yet at the same time she knew she’d never seen the building before.

You will, a voice inside her said softly. Sadly.