Brenda’s Dreams

This is my adaptation of “Out Of A Dream” by Diana Stuart.


Chapter 23

The same morning that Brenda returned from Los Angeles found her
entering the L and B offices. Her partner, Lois Ashton was sitting behind
her desk reading some contracts. Lois looked up from the contracts when
she heard the door open. She let out a squeal, dropped the contracts, and
came around the desk to give her best friend a hug.

“Brenda, I am SO glad you are back.”

“Me too, Lois. Me too.”

Lois released Brenda and guided her over to the couch. “What’s wrong?
What happened in Los Angeles?”

Brenda sat down on the couch and let out a sigh. “I don’t really want to
talk about it right now.”

“Okay, but I just got one question.”

“What?”

“Did you get Mr. Jacks to sell you the record company?”

“Not quite. How was Detroit?” Brenda answered, trying to change the
subject.

Lois decided she would wait until another time to ask Brenda about Los
Angeles. Instead, she launched into a ninety minute conversation about
what a hit her Eddie’s concert had been.

Brenda just sat back and listened. Lois provided a much needed
distraction from thoughts of Jax. What would she do without her?

Lois wrapped up the conversation and after saying good-bye, Brenda left
for home. From the window, Lois watched her best friend get in her car.
She was really worried about Brenda What had happened in Los
Angeles? Had something happened between Brenda and Mr. Jacks? She
sighed. She was going to get some answers if it was the last thing she did.

Brenda arrived home totally exhausted. She dropped on the couch but
was too tense to relax so she finally go up and fixed herself a bowl of soup
and some tea. She stared at the TV without really following the programs
until eleven, then got ready for bed.

At first she tossed and turned, fighting her memories, but eventually
oblivion overtook her.

***

She felt warm sand beneath her bare feet first, then the long dark hallway
stretched before her, and she shuddered with the realization that she was
once more in the deserted hotel. She could barely make out every empty,
open doorway in the gloom. Though there was no fog it was night, and
the moon, a waning quarter visible from time to time through holes in the
roof, gave a grudging, ghastly light.

“Jax!” she called hopelessly, over and over, tears running down her
cheeks. The echoes of her voice mocked her.

Somewhere another hallway existed, the right one, but not in this
nightmare place. In the other corridor was a room with a golden door but
how was she to find it?

In desperation she stopped running and stood sobbing in anguish and fear.
A dark night wind swirled sand around her, covering her toes. She had the
horrible foreknowledge that if she stayed still long enough the sand would
drift higher and higher until she was completely covered.

“Jax!” she screamed in despair.

Only a far-off bell answered her plea, a shrill demand that grew louder and
louder.

Brenda awoke with a start to the ringing of the phone on her night stand.
She groped for it, still half in the dream.

“Brenda!”

“Jax?” She sat up in bed, uncertain she was awake, not quite believing Jax
was actually at the other end of the line.

“Did I wake you?” he said.”

“Uh...yes.”

“What were you dreaming?”

Brenda came fully awake. She reached for the lamp and turned it on.
“Why do you ask?” she temporized.

“Because I just had one hell of a nightmare.”

“I don’t want to...” she began, but he cut her off before she could tell him
she didn’t want to hear about his dream.

“You know that picture above my bed...the one you said you hated? An
old ruin of some kind. I dreamed I was in that ruin. It was like a hotel,
with hallways and many rooms. All doorless and empty.”

“No,” she whispered, the phone trembling in her hand. He ignored her.

“Sand was everywhere, drifting into the rooms, swirling around me. I was
looking for you, I knew you were in a room somewhere, but I couldn’t
find you. I couldn’t find you because this ruin was the wrong place. All I
could do was call your name and go on from one empty room to another.
Why did you leave so quickly, Brenda? I’m going out of my...”

“Please, Jax, I can’t talk to you.” She couldn’t speak above a frightened,
breathless whisper. “Don’t tell me any more.”

Brenda slammed down the phone, then reached over and jerked the plug
out of the wall socket. She slid down in the bed and stared up at the
ceiling. The sight of fake stars on the midnight blue paint reminded her of
looking at the night sky through the holes in the ruined roof of the dream
hotel. She curled up on her side, huddling under the covers, numb with
terror.

It wasn’t safe to love. She and Ben had dreamed the same dreams. Her
little blonde/blue-eyed brother Ben whom she’d loved from the moment
she’d seen him yawning at her through the newborn nursery window. She
and Ben had shared dreams and Ben had been taken from her. Ben had
died. Now she shared dreams with someone else. A man with blonde hair
and blue eyes.

It’s not the same, she tried to tell herself. I loved Ben and I don’t love Jax.
I don’t, I don’t!

Then why are you so miserable without him? Why can you think of
nothing else except him?

No, its not the same. Nothing will happen to Jax. I won’t talk to him, I
won’t ever see him again. He’ll be safe because I won’t let myself love
him. He’ll forget me and go back to Miranda. Then he won’t dream with
me anymore and nothing can happen to him if we don’t share dreams.

Afraid to close her eyes for fear of dreaming again, Brenda stayed awake
for the rest of the night and dragged herself wearily in to work the next
morning.

“You look beat,” Lois told her when she entered the L and B offices.

Brenda nodded. “I am. I didn’t get any sleep last night.”

“Do you want to talk about it?”

“No, not right now. I just want to work.”

“All right, I’ll let it go for now. Eventually, though I’m going to get it out
of you. I hate to see my best friend hurting.”

“Thanks, Lois. What would I do without you?”

The two women shared a brief hug and then they started to work. Around
five they finished up. As they were leaving the office, Lois asked Brenda
if she wanted to meet for some shopping followed by lunch the following
day, which was Saturday. Brenda immediately accepted. At least that
way she wouldn’t have to worry about Jax phoning her plus it also was
another distraction to stop herself from thinking about him.

Brenda arrived home thirty minutes later. She planned to get through the
night by unplugging the phone. She ate some supper then she took a
shower and then stacked some paperbacks on the night stand next to her
bed. After getting herself comfortably propped up on the pillows, she
picked up the top book and opened it.

“Ned Kelly ran a worried hand through his untidy blonde hair,” she read,
“as he eyed the long-legged redhead seated in the client’s chair next to his
desk.”

Brenda slammed the book shut and stared at the cover. Why this was one
of the old mysteries from Grandma Quartermaine’s house. She must have
inadvertently packed it with her things when she left. She’d begun to read
the book at the Cape, she remembered now. Remembered, too, how she’d
stopped reading because the mention of blonde hair reminded her of Jax.

Long ago she’d convinced herself she didn’t care for men with blonde
hair. She never dated a blonde, never became emotionally involved with
one. Not until Jax.

She saw now she’d been trying to protect herself because of what
happened to Ben, that she’d believed blonde hair might have something to
do with the shared dreaming. Did it?

Brenda shook her head. How could she tell? Yet Jax and Ben both had
blonde hair...

She took a deep breath and let it out slowly. Don’t think about it, she
warned herself. All you have to remember is not to see or speak to Jax
ever again, and nothing bad will happen to him.

Tossing the book onto the floor, she picked up the next book and noted
with relief the hero’s hair was “as red as fire.”

But, she tried to read, the image of Jax’s face kept interposing itself
between her and the printed page. At least he’d be too busy, between
taking care of Miranda’s fears and his company, to arrive in San Francisco
in person. She could avoid talking to him on the phone, and she certainly
wouldn’t return to Los Angeles under any circumstances.

He was safe.

***

The next day, Brenda and Lois met and did some shopping and then they
went to their favorite restaurant for lunch. Brenda had not been very
talkative all morning. After ordering, Lois could take no more of her best
friend’s silence, so she flat out asked her about it.

“Okay, Brenda, times up. Tell me what happened in Los Angeles. Did
something happen between you and Mr. Jacks?”

“Lois, I don’t want to...” Brenda started to say but Lois interrupted.

“No, you better tell me. I think you would feel much better if you were
able to talk about it. Now, what happened?

Brenda sighed, she knew that when Lois had her mind set on something it
was hard to distract her from it. Maybe it would be better if she did talk
about it to someone. Maybe then she would be able to get on with her
life. A life without Jax.

“Okay, Lois, you win. I’ll tell you.”

Lois smiled and patted her hand. “Good, now start talking.”

Brenda took a quick sip of water before she started. She told Lois how
she had met Jax at the cape. She told her of the shared dreams and what
had followed. She told her how she thought Jax had left her at the cape.
She told her about Los Angeles and the of the rest of the shared dreams.
She finished with Jax’s phone call from Los Angeles.

Lois was silent for a few minutes before she spoke. “Wow, Bren, that’s
some story. What are you going to do?”

Brenda shook her head. “I don’t know, avoid Jax, I guess.”

“Brenda, you won’t be able to avoid him forever. Sooner or later you are
going to have to talk to him.”

Brenda’s stomach started to turn. She hoped it was later rather than
sooner. “I know, but I can’t right now.”

“Okay, but just be careful.”

“I will.”

Their food arrived then and Brenda was glad. She was tired of talking
about Jax. They discussed some L and B business then and Lois checked
her watch.

“I’ve got to get going. Nedly and I are going out tonight for dinner.” Lois
picked up the check. “I’ll take care of this.”

Brenda got up from the table and they both said their good-byes there.
Brenda headed for home.

As she came up the street towards her house, she noticed a black mustang
parked in front of it. Who would be coming to see her? She wasn’t
expecting anyone. She parked her Firebird and grabbed her purse. She
made her way to the front steps. She stopped dead in her tracks. Sitting
on the top of one of the steps was a blonde/blue-eyed man.

“Hello, Brenda.” Jax said.

To be continued...