(Hopefully, Lucas' fantasy life won't intrude on his physical therapy!)
Kate: Well, well, it looks like you found yourself quite a coach.
Lucas: Yeah, she's a real angel with a bullwhip.
(On Stefano's jet, Wayne and Earl prove that you can take the hillbilly out of the swamp, but...)
Wayne: Wow, sir, you must be one rich dude. I'll probably never have a home as fancy as this air vehicle.
Stefano: I'm sure you won't.
Wayne: Look here, Earl, they have some of that bubbly kind of moonshine!
Bart: It's called champagne, Gomer.
Wayne: I know that- I'm just joking. Got any paper cups?
(After being caught dressed as a nun, Sami tries to wiggle out of trouble.)
Sami: When I was a little girl, I thought I might have a vocation, and the more time I spend in this habit, it gets me thinking about what I want to do with my life. And I think I'd like to be a nun.
Sister Mary Moira: A nun? You, a nun? Samantha Brady, that's like the fox saying it wants to be a chicken!
(That's no way to talk to a nun!)
Sister Mary Moira: You will change your wicked ways!
Sami: Like h*** I will!
(As alarms sound, Vivian catches a ghost and a cowboy trying to break into Jonsey's secret room. But even costumes can't disguise everything...)
Susan: This was your idea. Now what are we going to do?
Celeste: Run! Let's get out of here!
Vivian: Aha! Susan! I thought that grating twang sounded familiar.
(When Kristin tries to convince Susan to give up baby Elvis, Susan outs the smooth-talking DiMera in her place)
Susan: How can you protect him?
Kristin: Give him to me. Let me raise him.
Susan: Now don't that just burn the pie! Not only are you mean, mean, mean, but you've just gone bonkers. I would never, ever, ever, ever let my baby be raised by the daughter of the head vampire!
(Bo's Freudian doesn't get past Billie)
Billie: Any news about Jack or Jennifer?
Bo: Nothing, but I'm not giving up Hope.
Billie: Don't I know it.
(Kristin gives Susan a present in the spirit of Christmas, sort of)
Kristin: Why don't you open up this present. It's for you.
Susan: For me?
Kristin: (Thinking to herself) No, it's really for the maid, but what the h***.
(Sami knows the quickest way up the corporate ladder has nothing to do with hard work)
Lucas: You're bright. You're resourceful. Did you ever consider that you could accomplish a lot without blackmail?
Sami: Could I really accomplish all that without blackmail? Probably, But this is a whole lot easier.
(Stefano proves that he's a master at deflecting backhanded insults)
Stefano: I knew those two idiots [Wayne and Earl] wouldn't leave Salem without their precious Swamp Girl. I also knew that the first chance they got, they would cash in their tickets and stay here to find Greta without me knowing it.
Rolfe: Ah, so you outsmarted them.
Stefano: With those two, that's not a compliment.
(But Vivian, how do you really feel about Kate?)
Roman: Does Kate come from money?
Vivian: Aaaah! She's white trash. She's always been white trash. She just wears designer dresses.
(Susan gets excited over the King's impending visit and warns skeptics Celeste and Sister Mary Moira to mind their manners)
Susan: Oh my! Look at me. I've got ot get my hair fixed. I've got to get my make-up on. I've got to get dressed up all fancy before he gets here. Will you watch the baby while I go upstairs?
Celeste: Yes, Darling, of course.
Susan: Hey, now. If he gets here before I come back down, you two be real nice to him. And don't you go telling him that he's dead. You're just going to hurt his feelings!
(Later, as Susan shows off her unusual dress, a quick-thinking Celeste chokes out an impressive compliment)
Susan: What do you think?
Sister Mary Moira: It's very interesting.
Celeste: Yes, I'm stunned.
Susan: Do you think the King is going to like it?
Celeste: Darling, anyone who wears white sequin jumpsuits is just going to love your look.
(After a rudeawakening by Ivan, Vivian realizes that pretending to be Jonsey's Flora Dora wouldn't be half bad, and works herself into a Scarlett O'Hara-like speech)
Ivan: Wake up, Vivian!
Vivian: What? What's going on? What happened to my money?
Ivan: Your money? You probably left it back in your dream.
Vivian: I can't stand this anymore. I'm going back to Jonsey. I'll be his Flora Dora girl: I'll hang from his chandelier; I'll sing "Shine on Harvest Moon", anything he wants. I just can't stand this rat-infested, dirt poor existance. I'm not going to be poor anymore!
(In front of Marlena, Sister Mary Moira grabs Sami by the ear and strikes the fear of God in her, at least for the moment.)
Sister Mary Moira: Now it's time for you to get on your knees and beg for forgiveness. You get yourself back on that path of righteousness before it's too late. Do you understand? Shame, shame, shame! Now don't you worry, Dr. Marlena Evans. I did not strike her. You see, we nuns aren't allowed to do that anymore.
(Susan confides in Lisa Marie that she thinks Vivian and Ivan are trouble)
Susan: They're up to something, Lisa Marie, you just know htey are. They may not be vampires, but they're very, very, very weird. But they smell good and look good, too!
(Lucas notes Sami admiring her new digs in the Kiriakis mansion)
Lucas: Scarlett, what are you doing? Surveying Tara? Taking inventory?
(During her dinner party, Vivian's attempt to embarass Kate serves only to bring her own employment record to light)
Vivian: Oh, Kate, if you need any ketchup, just let me know.
Kate: Ah, Vivian, when did you learn to appreciate ketchup? Working at the Burger Barn??
(The day after the dinner party, Vivian brags to Ivan that she soon will have Stefano eating out of the palm of her hand.)
Ivan: What if Kate decides to seduce him before you do?
Vivian: Don't be so ridiculous! Why would Stefano take cat food when he can have caviar??
(Kate ponders how Vivian's late husband met his maker)
Kate: Tell me, how did you kill the poor man? Annoy him to death? Or did he get a good look at you in the morning and decide to kill himself?
(Sami and Kate spat in the ladies' room)
Kate: We both know the only reason you have a title and a job is because you're blackmailing me.
Sami: Don't you forget it.
Kate: You make me sick!
Sami: Well, the stalls are right over there.
(Vivian sees Jonsey in a whole new light after he giver her a mink trim)
Vivian: It's just that you haven't looked this attractive to me since I found out you were rich.
Jonsey: Thanks, I think.
ALL INFORMATION ON THIS PAGE IS FROM SOAPS IN DEPTH
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