SONG FOR WHOEVER
I love you from the bottom of my pencil case
I love you in the songs I write and sing
Love you because you put me in my rightful place
And I love the PRS cheques that you bring
Cheap, never cheap
I’ll sing you songs till you’re asleep
When you’ve gone upstairs I’ll creep
And write it all down
Oh Shirley, Oh Deborah, Oh Julie, Oh Jane
I wrote so many songs about you
I forget your name, I forget your name
Jennifer, Alison, Phillipa, Sue, Deborah, Annabel too
Jennifer, Alison, Phillipa, Sue, Deborah, Annabel too
I forget your name
I love you from the bottom of my pencil case
I love the way you never ask me why
I love to write about each wrinkle on your face
And I love you till my fountain pen runs dry
Deep so deep, the number one I hope to reap
Depends upon the tears you weep, so cry lovey, cry, cry, cry, cry
Oh Cathy, Oh Alison, Oh Phillipa, Oh Sue
You make me so much money, I wrote this song for you
Jennifer, Alison, Phillipa, Sue, Deborah, Annabel too
I wrote this song for you
So let me talk about Mary, a sad story
Turned her grief into glory
Late at night, by the typewriter light
She ripped his ribbon to shreds.
menu
YOU KEEP IT ALL IN
You know your problem
You keep it all in
You know your problem
You keep it all in
That’s right
The conversation we had last night
Well all I wanted to do was
Knife you in the heart
I kept it all in
You know your problem
You keep it all in
You know your problem
You keep it all in
Midnight, a husband getting ready to fight
A daughter sleeps alone with the light
Turned on, she hears but
Keeps it all in
Just like that murder in ‘73
Just like that robbery in ‘62
With all these things that have happened to me
I kept it all in
Why do you keep on telling me now
You know your problem
You keep it all in
You know your problem
You keep it all in
That’s sweet
That conversation we had last week
When you gagged and bound me up to my seat
You’re right I do
I keep it all in
menu
I’LL SAIL THIS SHIP ALONE
If, if you choose that we will always lose
Well then I’ll sail this ship alone
And if, if you decide to give him another try
Well then I’ll sail this ship alone
Well they said if I wrote the perfect love song
You would take me back
Well I wrote it but I lost it
And now will you take me back anyway
Now if, if you insist that this is for the best
Well then I’ll sail this ship alone
And if, if you swear that you no longer care
Well then I’ll sail this ship alone
I’ll sail this ship alone
Between the pain and the pleasure
I’ll sail this ship alone
Amongst the sharks and the treasure
If you would rather go your way then go your way
I’ll sail this ship alone
If, if you’re afraid that I won’t make the grade
Well then I’ll sail this ship alone
And if, if you agree to him instead of me
Well then I’ll sail this ship alone
Well they said if I wrote the perfect letter
That I would have a chance
Well I wrote it, and you burnt it
And now do I have a chance anyway
If, if you swear that you no longer care
Well then I’ll sail this ship alone
I’ll sail this ship alone
Between the pain and the pleasure
I’ll sail this ship alone
Amongst the sharks and the treasure
If you would rather go your way then go your way
I’ll sail this ship alone
Well they said if I burnt myself alive
That you’d coming running back
menu
A LITTLE TIME
I need a little time
To think it over
I need a little space
Just on my own
I need a little time
To find my freedom
I need a little…
Funny how quick the milk turns sour
Isn't it, isn't it
Your face has been looking like that for hours
Hasn't it, hasn't it
Promises, promises turn to dust
Wedding bells just turn to rust
Trust into mistrust
I need a little room
To find myself
I need a little space
To work it out
I need a little room
All alone
I need a little…
You need a little room for your big head
Don’t you, don’t you
You need a little space for a thousand beds
Won't you, won't you
Lips that promise - fear the worst
Tongue so sharp - the bubble burst
I've had a little time
To find the truth
Now I've had a little room
To check what's wrong
I've had a little time
And I still love you
I've had a little…
You had a little time
And you had a little fun
Didn’t you, didn’t you
While you had yours
Do you think I had none
Do you, do you
The freedom that you wanted bad
Is yours for good
I hope you're glad
Sad into unsad
I had a little time
To think it over
Had a little room
To work it out
I found a little courage
To call it off
I've had a little time
I've had a little time
I've had a little time
I've had a little time
menu
MY BOOK
This is my life and this is how it reads
For every chapter, a thousand memories
A murder, a mystery where everybody bleeds
A fantasy, a thriller with romance and disease
Diary entry 9th of May '62
We've had some ugly babies but none were quite like you
Diary entry '62 end of May
It looks as if the nose and chin are definitely here to stay
They're here to stay, they're here to stay
If my lips start smiling and my knees start a-knocking
I'm a failure
You are, you are
And if I seem half-hearted, it's because I'm broken hearted
And I'm a failure
You are, you are, you are (I am)
You are, you are, you are (I am)
This is my life and this is how it reads
A documentary that nobody believes
Albert Steptoe in 'Gone With The Breeze'
Mother played by Peter Beardsley, father by John Cleese
Diary entry '68 end of the year
A cardboard Apollo 6 has given the all clear
11th December '68 Captain's log
Proposed trip to Mars is cancelled due to fog
It's due to fog, it's due to fog
If my lips start smiling and my knees start a-knocking
I'm a failure
You are, you are
And if I seem half-hearted, it's because I'm broken hearted
And I'm a failure
You are, you are, you are (I am)
You are, you are, you are (I am)
This is the play, it was I who wrote the script
Terry meets June in 'Tales From The Crypt'
It was going to be a film but the camera person slipped
They later found him scolding a banana
Diary entry 10th of April '89
The world is going mad but me I'm doing fine
I'm doing fine
Back to bed, back to reality
Back to bed, back to reality
Back to bed, back to reality
Back to bed, back to reality
Back to bed, back to reality
Back to bed, back to reality
Just fine
menu
LET LOVE SPEAK UP ITSELF
Don’t whisper love and dream of wedding bells
Don’t do all the talking, let love speak up itself
Let love speak up itself
So when you feel a little tatty and unhappy with your face
Let it breathe into us and put you back in place
Let it breathe, let it breathe
From the day it came into us till the day it wants to leave
For it will, it will go
And it will not say goodbye just like it didn’t say hello
There will not be a send-off, a funeral or mass
Just a pathetic little vodka from a dirty little glass
'To the world's greatest mum
From the oldest swinger in town'
Let love speak up itself
Let love speak up itself
Let it rise up in the morning and take us for that walk
Let it do the talking when we're too tired to talk
When we're too tired to talk
And when you feel unhappy that I'm not the one I was
Let love rot inside and let love palm you off
Let it rot, let it rot
Let it take your feelings and tie them in a knot
In a knot, in a knot
Let it take your feelings and tie them in a knot
Hang them from a cleaver and say 'Look what we've got
A man and a woman and guess what they forgot'
'To the world's greatest mum
From the oldest swinger in town'
Let love speak up itself
Let love speak up itself
Let love speak up itself
Let love speak up itself
Let love speak, let love rot
Let love tear
menu
OLD RED EYES IS BACK
Old Red Eyes is back
Red from the night before the night before
Walked In to the wrong bar, walked into a door
Old Red's in town
And sitting late at night he doesn’t make a sound
Just adding to the wrinkles on his deathly frown
They're only red from all the tears I should've shed
They're only red from all the women I could've wed
So when you look into these eyes I hope you realise
They could never be blue
They could never be blue
They could never be blue
They could never be blue
Listen up Old Red
You never listened to a word the doctor said
He told you if you drank another you'd be dead
Old Red Eyes is back
His shoulders ache all over and his brain is sore
He pours a drink and listens to his body thaw
They're only red from all the thoughts unused inside my head
They're only red from all the things I could have done instead
So when you look into these eyes I hope you realise
They could never be blue
They could never be blue
They could never be blue
They could never be blue
Blue is a street without an end
Red is the colour of my hell
Blue is a greeting from a friend
Red is the colour of farewell
Old Red he died
And every single landlord in the district cried
An empty bottle of whisky laying by his side
A lazy little tear running from each eye
They could never be blue
They could never be blue
They could never be blue
They could never be blue
menu
WE ARE EACH OTHER
There's no more little secrets we haven't yet disclosed
We bore the living daylights of anyone too close
And all our cards at Christmas are written to us both
Count them up, who's got the most?
Said we'd be close
Said we'd work perfectly
Said that we'd toast
Beautiful company
Closer than a sister to her baby brother
Closer than a cat to the child that she'll smother
It's too close for a lover
It's too close for a lover
We are each other
We are each other
We've been through all positions, and this one's definitely best
You move Middle East and I'll move Wild West
What happened to our friendship we could have easily guessed
Add it up we're self-possessed
Said we'd be true
Said we'd be so proud
Just me and you
We'd shout it out aloud
Closer than a sister to her baby brother
Closer than a cat to the child that she'll smother
It's too close for a lover
It's too close for a lover
We are each other
We are each other
Remember we went shopping and we went by piggyback
I shaved all my legs and you grew hairs upon your back
Well no-one's been since to this lover's shack
It's a cul-de-sac
Said we'd be close
Said we'd work perfectly
Said that we'd toast
Beautiful company
Said we'd be true
Said we'd be so proud
Just me and you
We'd shout it out aloud
Closer than a sister to her baby brother
Closer than a cat to the child that she'll smother
It's too close for a lover
It's too close for a lover
We are each other
We are each other
We are each other
We are each other
menu
BELL-BOTTOMED TEAR
This is the dinner prepared
This is the dress that I made
This is the child I brought up
And this is the woman you laid
This is the woman you laid
This is the perfume I wore
This is the hotel we stayed
This is the way that I lay
And this is the woman you laid
This is the woman you laid
We promise ourselves this is no one night stand
Let us draw all the curtains and strike up the band
And I'm thrilled by the gentlest touch of your hand we pretend
There's a tear, there's a tear
Not through confusion, through fear, through fear
This is the smile that I wore
This is the song that we played
This is the way that I lay
And this is the woman you laid
This is the woman you laid
Next morning our eyes filled with sleepy regret
A kiss and goodbye and a long cigarette
But the pillow I lay on is cold and it's wet
Can't pretend
It's a tear, it's a tear
Not through confusion, through fear, through fear
And knowing at least that love came so near
Just adds to the weight of this bell bottomed tear
Roll out the red carpets and unplug the phone
Root out the photo's you've already shown
'Cause this is one night you won't sleep alone
Just one night
There's a tear, there's a tear
Not through confusion, through fear, through fear
And knowing at least that love came so near
Just adds to the weight of this bell bottomed tear
There's a tear, there's a tear
Not through confusion, through fear
Not through confusion, through fear
menu
36D
Close your legs, open your mind
Leave hose compliments well behind
Dig a little deeper into yourself
And you may find
Come over here just sit right down
Needn't comb your hair, needn't pout or frown
I hear you've turned our young men
Into dribbling clowns
36D so what, D, so what
Is that all you've got?
36D so what, D, so what
Is that all you've got
Make their day and go ahead
Remove your clothes, lie on their bed
Just a last gasp chance or an outside bet
To the easily led
And before you do just what you do
Here's one thought for you to chew
The men who run the business that you sell
They screw you too
36D so what, D, so what
Is that all you've got?
36D so what, D, so what
Is that all you've got
You're just another 365 night stand
But you're so handy, you're so handy
You cheapen and you nasty every woman in this land
But you're so handy, you're so handy
Your picture's hanging pretty on the squaddies' wall
You're Steven's, Andy's, you're Ian's, you're Paul's
Your body's fondly thought of in the rugby mauls
But you want more
Your name is always mentioned in the jokes he cracks
Your Coach & Horses, and your Woolpacks
Your poses turn the passive into maniacs
But you want more
36D so what, D, so what
Is that all you've got?
36D so what, D, so what
Is that all you've got
36D so what, D, so what
Is that all you've got?
36D so what, D, so what
Is that all you've got
He was trying to save his job
He was, he was trying to save his job
menu
GOOD AS GOLD
Don't know what I'm doing here
I'll carry on regardless
Got enough money for one more beer
I'll carry on regardless
Good as gold, but stupid as mud
He'll carry on regardless
They'll bleed his heart 'til there's no more blood
But carry on regardless
Carry on with laugh
Carry on with cry
Carry on with brown under moonlit sky
I want my love, my joy, my laugh, my smile, my needs
Not in the star signs
Or the palm that she reads
I want my sun-drenched, wind-swept Ingrid Bergman kiss
Not in the next life
I want it in this
I want it in this
Got one note to last all week
I'll carry on regardless
The hill to happiness is far too steep
I'll carry on regardless
Dried his mouth in the Memphis sun
He carried on regardless
Tried to smile and he bit his tongue
But carry on regardless
Carry on with work
Carry on with love
Carry on with cheering
Anything above
I want my love, my joy, my laugh, my smile, my needs
Not in the star signs
Or the palm that she reads
I want my sun-drenched, wind-swept Ingrid Bergman kiss
Not in the next life
I want it in this
I want it in this
I don't want silver, I just want gold
Carry on regardless
Bronze is for the sick and the old
But carry on regardless
I want my love, my joy, my laugh, my smile, my needs
Not in the star signs
Or the palm that she reads
I want my sun-drenched, wind-swept Ingrid Bergman kiss
Not in the next life
I want it in this
I want it in this
menu
EVERYBODY'S TALKIN'
Everybody's talking at me
I don't hear a word they're saying
Only the echoes of my mind
People stopping staring
I can't see their faces
Only the shadows of their eyes
I'm going where the sun keeps shining
Thru' the pouring rain
Going where the weather suits my clothes
Backing off of the North East wind
Sailing on summer breeze
And skipping over the ocean like a stone
I'm going where the sun keeps shining
Thru' the pouring rain
Going where the weather suits my clothes
Backing off of the North East wind
Sailing on summer breeze
And skipping over the ocean like a stone
menu
PRETTIEST EYES
Line One is the time
That you, you first stayed over at mine
And we drank our first bottle of wine
And we cried
Line Two we're away
And we both, we both had nowhere to stay
Well the bus-shelter's always OK
When you're young
Now you're older and I look at your face
Every wrinkle is so easy to place
And I only write them down just in case
That you die
Let's take a look at these crows feet, just look
Sitting on the prettiest eyes
Sixty 25th of Decembers
Fifty-nine 4th of Julys
Not through the age or the failure, children
Not through the hate or despise
Take a good look at these crows feet
Sitting on the prettiest eyes
Line Three I forget
But I think, I think it was our first ever bet
And the horse we backed was short of a leg
Never mind
Line Four in a park
And the things, the things that people do in the dark
I could hear the faintest beat of your heart
Then we did
Now you're older and I look at your face
Every wrinkle is so easy to place
And I only write them down just in case
You should die
Lets take a look at these crows feet, just look
Sitting on the prettiest eyes
Sixty 25th of Decembers
Fifty-nine 4th of Julys
You can't have too many good times, children
You can't have too many lines
Take a good look at these crows feet
Sitting on the prettiest eyes
Well my eyes look like a map of the town
And my teeth are either yellow or they're brown
But you'll never hear the crack of a frown
When you are here
You'll never hear the crack
Of a frown
menu
ONE LAST LOVE SONG
I once had a friend who I loved from my heart
But I went on and left her before I made a start
Now I'm moaning the bllues like the rest of the charts
Tale me back
So I'll cry with a limp
Just get by with a limp
Till these blue eyes of mine they are closed
So here's to an old fashioned peck on the cheek
And farewell my sweet Northern rose
Give me one last love song
To bring you back, bring you back
Give me one last video, just dressed in black, dressed in black
Give him a chorus and that bit at the end
When he wails on and on 'bout the loss of a friend
Let him scream loudly 'well this love could mend'
Let it die, let it die
Those bloody great ballads we hated at first
Well I bought them all and now I'm writing worse
Save me from balddness and saving the earth
Take me back
And I'll smile with a limp
And I'll love with a limp
Till the clouds disappear from above
And as the storm moves away all I can say
Is there's a towel in the door for your love
Give me one last love song
To bring you back, bring you back
Give me one last video, just dressed in black, dressed in black
Give him a chorus and that bit at the end
When he wails on and on 'bout the loss of a friend
Let him scream loudly 'well this love could mend'
Let it die, let it die
menu