An Englishman In New York
Random Brainwaves
I Pity Inanimate Objects
Freeze Frame
Clues
Brazilia (Wish You Were Here)
Mugshots
Get Well Soon

An Englishman in New York
Demented New York athletes staggering round the block
Deformed Chicanos pour in Chicago as rolling stock
Digital bathrooms drilling for furs
Surgical stockings marked his and hers
Guggenheim attitudes back to back
With Jewish Baroque
No way street, no way street
No way street
Happy to see you, have a nice day!
Defecting Russian dancers dance into Hockney prints
Exclusive to Bloomingdales, gift-wrapped in red
From the land of blue rinse
They boggle at menus in Olde English verse
Ode to a burger by Keats at his worst
The hissing of omelettes, the breaking of legs
Don't shoot till you see the whites of their eggs
The pink fillet mignon looks black on the negs
Strange apparatus, you've never seen
Strange apparatus, even stranger theme
I came, I saw, what manner of beast is this
New York, you talk a little bit left of centre
A scream, a shout
New York is throwing its weight about
Walk tall, walk straight, spit the world right in the eye
The stronger the wood the straighter the arrow
Dismembered hopeful My-Lai veterans queuing for sleaze
Sorry no dogs, no fags, no shriners, and no amputees
Sexual athlete applies for audition
Willing to make it in any position
Just one of the extras with blood on their faces
In Snow White and the seven basket cases
I'm happy and dopey and dirty in places
No way street, no way street
No way street
Lock up your daughters, Avon crawling!
Devoted collectors of paraphernalia out walking the rock
Battle and bitch for the ultimate kitsch of a crucifix clock
Two miniature Romans, running on rails
Appear every hour and bang in the nails
Oh I've got to have it, Christ, I gotta be the first on our block
Disturbing facts about Nazi splinter groups seen on the news
They're picketing synagogues and claiming that
Hitler was King of the Jews
Caught in the tunnel an ambulance howls
A men's room attendant is flapping his jowls
Ssshh, Howard Johnson is moving his bowels
Strange apparatus, you've never seen
Strange apparatus, even stranger theme
Street alligators, big Anglophile
Will navigate us through a change of style
Strange apparatus, you've never seen
Strange apparatus, even stranger theme
Walk tall, walk straight, spit the world right in the eye
The stronger the wood, the straighter the arrow
No way street, no way street
No way street, no way street No way street, no way street
No way street, no way street

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Random Brainwave
Early warning
Stranger on the radar
Ripple in the wavelength
Leave it in the hands of fate
Nobody noticed the difference in the readout
The sadness in the answer
A twist in the logic
P.E.R.S.O.N.A.L.I.T.Y.
P.E.R.S.O.N.A.L.I.T.Y.
Low-key discussions
Rumble round the test-bed
Egg-heads in a huddle
A softening of the solid-state
Static alphabet
Rigid stabbing monotone
There's positive or negative
But no in-between
Are you blind?
Are you looking through a broken pair of eyes
Are you ill-equipped to hear me?
Random brainwave
Groping for receivers
Are you deaf?
Are you one of the cogs
Too busy probing the pleasure centres of dogs
To get near me, get near me
Nobody noticed
The difference in the readout
The sadness in the answer
A twist in the logic Leave it in the hands of fate

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I Pity Inanimate Objects
I pity inanimate objects
Because they can't move
From specks of dust to paperweights
Or a pound note sealed in resin
Plastic Santa’s in perpetual underwater snowstorms
Sculptures that appear to be moving
But aren't
I feel sorry for them all
What are they thinking
When they arrive at a place
Do they sigh with disappointment
And when they leave
Do they have regrets?
Is a sofa as happy in one corner
As it is in another
And how does the room feel about it?
I pity inanimate objects
I pity inanimate objects
I pity inanimate objects
I pity them all
Physics isn't fair
Is a tree as a rocking horse
An ambition fulfilled
And is the sawdust jealous?
I worry about these things
Peppercorns don't move
Until they contaminate the ice-cream
Three weeks later
Is the gold in Fort Knox happy gold?
I care about these things
Some things are better left alone
Grains of sand prefer their own company
But magnets are two faced
No choice for sugar
But what choice could there be
But to drown in coffee or to drown in tea
The frustrations of being inanimate
Maybe it’s better that way
The fewer the moving parts
The less there is to go wrong
I wonder about these things
I pity inanimate objects
I pity inanimate objects
I pity inanimate objects
I pity them all

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Freeze Frame
I found myself a child again
Asleep in Baby Lotion
The air was thick with Scalextric
And the cars were in slow motion
Going up like an air bubble caught in a vein
Going down like a thermos flask thrown from a train
Going up, go ahead, and I'll follow my phobia down
I cried myself to sleep because
They wouldn't leave the light on
And I clawed the rails with broken nails
Now there's nothing left to bite on
Going up like an air bubble caught in a vein
Going down like a thermos flask thrown from a train
Going up, go ahead, and I'll follow my phobia down
Going up like the corners of Dali's moustache
Going down like the United in the Munich air crash
You go ahead and I'll follow my phobia down
Splendour in the grass
Freeze Frame
A splintering of glass
Steam train
Stop you're going too fast
Please Freeze Frame
Freeze Frame, Freeze Frame
Please Freeze
I asked my mum about the stains in the kitchen
She said, Bang you're dead, truth is stranger than fiction
Truth is stranger than fiction
I find myself designing rooms
That never let the light in
With no way in and no way out
And a space to fly my kite in
Going up like an air bubble caught in a vein
Going down like a thermos flask thrown from a train
Going up, go ahead, and I'll follow my phobia down
Going up like a body rejecting a heart
Going down like Neanderthal Man in the chart
Going up, go ahead and I'll follow my phobia down

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Clues
A public face, a private eye
A patent shoe, a wider belt
A deeper sigh, a leaking pen
A shrunken head, an open file
A broken jaw, an alibi
A jumped up fee, a ceiling fan
Hear no evil, see no evil, speak no evil
Hear no evil, see no evil, speak no evil
A heinous crime, it wasn't meant to be
A body blow, on the table waiting
A paperweight, crashing through the cigar smoke
The answer no, now I can't remember
Hat check girl, found necking with a Siamese twin
Dabs on glass
She should have burned the gloves she lost
An allen key, turning
Walls have ears, burning
A vital clue
A public face, a private eye
Hear no evil, see no evil, speak no evil
Hear no evil, see no evil, speak no evil

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Brazilia (Wish You Were Here)
White heat, grey stone, white heat, grey stone
White heat, grey stone, white heat, grey stone
Wish you were here
White heat, sizzling, thinking of Brazilia
White heat, sizzling, thinking of Brazilia
White heat, grey stone, thinking of Brazilia
White heat, hollow, thinking of Brazilia
White heat, always
Wish you were here
Thinking of Brazilia
White heat, grey stone
White heat, grey stone
Lonely is Brazilia
White heat, hot, vast, crisp, empty
No more Yariva, yariva
Wish you were here
White heat, grey stone
Show me Brazilia
And I'll show you no Mardi Gras
In the glass Cantina
White heat, grey stone, white heat, grey stone
White heat, grey stone
Is anybody there
White heat, sizzling, sizzling, sizzling, sizzling
Is anybody there
Is anybody there
Hello
Is anybody there
Brazilia
Wish you were here
Is anybody there?
Big mistake, Brazilia
Brazilia. Open air museum. Wish you were here

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Mugshots
Mugshots, mugshots
Mugshots, mugshots
I was just a lonely boy
Every day a different toy
I fell in love with Hubcap Jenny
And she fell in love with me
She taught me how to steal a car
And sling a brick
She taught me what the coppers are
And how and where to kick 'em
Mugshots, I'm taking her advice
Mugshots, 'cause Hubcap Jenny's nice
I was just an only child
Top of the world, ma, top of the world
Running free and running wild
But I stole one hubcap too many
Top of the world, ma, top of the world
And the law came down on me
They taught me how to give salutes
And take some stick
To know the sound of policeman's boots
And now and then to lick 'em
They taught me how to sleep at night
In the lion's den
Forget about the dynamite
And dream of Hubcap Jenny
Shoot 'em in black and white
Bring me the prints tonight
I know, you know there's a mug in the shot!
Mugshots
Where were you on the night in question?
Mugshots
I was home in bed, m'Lord
Mugshots
I submit that last suggestion
Mugshots
Puts him in contempt of court
Mugshots
I'd give you proof but there isn't any
Mugshots
And there my Lord I rest my case
Mugshots
There's no such girl as Hubcap Jenny
Mugshots
We have no record of her face in the mugshots
Shoot 'em in black and white
Bring me the prints tonight
I know you know there's a mug in the shot!
Give me a hint of style
Give me The Kray Profile
I know you know there's a mug in the shot!
Shoot 'em in black and white
Bring me the prints tonight
I know you know there's a mug in the shot!
Give me a hint of style
Give me The Kray Profile
I know you know there's a mug in the shot!

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Get Well Soon
I spend the night with Radio Luxembourg
Pop music crackles me to sleep
I tune the dial to Radio Luxembourg
It's better than counting sheep
I wrote away to Radio Caroline
I need to hear your saddest reggae song
And I'll wallow like a zombie in it
Tear up my Ipi Tombi ticket
Let chocolate buttons limbo under my tongue
I've never liked the taste of Lucozade
Another sip of hospital champagne
Charge your glasses, Radio Luxembourg
To get well soon, to get well soon
Get well soon
Am I the only one tuned in to Luxembourg tonight
Do they only programme music to accompany my cough
Lousy words and drab percussion
Fading in and out of Russian
I haven't got the strength to turn it off
Get well soon, get well soon, get well soon
Get well soon, get well soon, get well soon
208 - fabulous - 208
Fabulous - 208 - fabulous - 208
Contagious flu cold faints
Contagious flu cold faints
Contagious flu cold faints
Contagious flu!
I'm getting better thanks to Luxembourg
But I didn't stop to thank the radio
Today when I was downstairs eating
It's Ever Ready heart stopped beating
Was it just coincidence, who knows?
Get well soon, get well soon, get well soon
Get well soon, get well soon, get well soon

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