UNE NUIT A PARIS
Part One : One Night In Paris
Sacre bleu!
Bonjour, monsieur, Paris really welcomes you.
It's the best room in the house.
It's 40 francs a night, alright?
It's crazy, it isn't worth a centime. I'll take it.
Merci, monsieur
Rouged lips in the gaslight
A great view of the hall
That's the way the croissant crumbles after all
Paris is only one step away
Les girls are out on bail
Tres bien, there's love for sale
Oh my cheri, wish you were mine
And I'll show you a wonderful time
For the price of a cheap champagne
I'll show it you once again
One night in Paris is like a year in any other place
One night in Paris will wipe the smile off your pretty face
One girl in Paris is like loving every woman
One night in Paris, one night in Paris
One night in Paris may be your last!
Part Two : The Same Night In Paris
Is he gonna buy? Hey, you wanna little culture?
Is he gonna pay? Maybe Monsieur is into photographs, non?
Or is he gonna fall in love the all American way?
I got a watch wiz a beautiful Swiss movement
Is he gonna buy? Oh forget ze watch, I'll show you a good time!
Is he gonna pay? Le connoisseur, want something different?
Or is he gonna fall in love the all American way?
Oh you know you ain't no Casanova
You can't even do the Bossa Nova
Or the Tango or the Samba!
Though you are so very charming, no you ain't no Casanova!
Is he gonna buy, is he gonna buy?
Is he gonna pay, is he gonna pay?
Or is he gonna fall in love the all American way?
Sometimes I think he will, but then again...
One night in Paris is like a year in any other place
One night in Paris will wipe the smile off your pretty face
Try a girl in Paris, but try one of mine
Each night in Paris, each night in Paris
Each night in Paris may be your last!
Part Three : Later The Same Night In Paris
Forty two, quarante-deux, Rue de Saint Jacques
All our girls are, how you say, good in the sack
I was a stripper on the Champs-Elysees
He was a Gendarme in the Gendarmerie
Going ooh la la la ooh la la la la ahh
He was a pimp in a black beret
But he was an artiste in his own way
Going ooh la la la ooh la la la la ahh
When they raided my club that night, that night
They ruined my act with the leather umbrella
The Chief of Police got a fright, got a fright
He was up in my boudoir with some other fella
Ooh it's only routine
But I got this feeling it ain't good for business
Then the floor cleared, a woman screamed to herself
Henri... though you're not the toast of Paris, I love you
Although you bed and beat me, Henri
Leave it alone for the Gendarme's just doing his job
Paris is only one step away, murder is only one step away
Notre Dame is ringing her bells
Another gendarme has gone to Hell
To Hell, to Hell to Hell, to Hell
To Hell, to Hell to Hell
One night in Paris is like a year in any other place
One night in Paris will wipe the smile off your pretty face
One girl in Paris is like loving every woman
This night in Paris, this night in Paris
This night in Paris may be your last!
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I'M NOT IN LOVE
I'm not in love, so don't forget it
It's just a silly phase I'm going through
And just because I call you up
Don't get me wrong, don't think you've got it made
I'm not in love, no, no, it's because...
I like to see you, but then again
That doesn't mean you mean that much to me
So if I call you, don't make a fuss
Don't tell your friends about the two of us
I'm not in love, no, no, it's because...
Be quiet, big boys don't cry, big boys don't cry
Big boys don't cry, big boys don't cry
I keep your picture upon the wall
It hides a nasty stain that's lying there
So don't you ask me to give it back
I know you know it doesn't mean that much to me
I'm not in love, no, no, it's because...
Ooh you'll wait a long time for me,
Ooh you'll wait a long time
Ooh you'll wait a long time for me
Oooooh you'll wait a long time
I'm not in love, so don't forget it
It's just a silly phase I'm going through
And just because I call you up
Don't get me wrong, don't think you've got it made
Ooh I'm not in love, I'm not in love
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BLACKMAIL
She doesn't need money, she doesn't need diamonds
She's looking for pretty things
She doesn't want romance, she doesn't need finance
She's looking for a rendezvous
But every time she's going down, she never looks around
I'll wait and watch her with my lens and bring the curtain down
There behind the keyhole, with my fish-eye
I'll back in the darkroom, I'm covered in fixer
I'm making a photograph
I'll send her some postcards in glorious colour
I'm keeping the negatives
I'll form a letter from the news with different type from different lines
I'll tell the world about her, I'll mail the People and the Times
Ooh it'll be so scandalous for the both of them
But mainly her
She showed them her husband, he ordered a dozen
He thought they were fabulous
The one with the *** the two of the ***
And three of the ***
He sold her to Hefner, he put her in Playboy
He gave her a centre-fold
I made a real blunder, she made it in movies
I made her a superstar
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THE SECOND SITTING FOR THE LAST SUPPER
Another fish-head in the dustbin
Another loser in the queue for the soup kitchen
Another reason for a visit, we think you'd better come down
Another nigger on the woodpile
Another honky on the dole
Another trip from off the fifteenth floor
The greatest story ever told was so wrong, so wrong
'Cause you promised milk and honey and an everlasting life
And we listened with our ears closed
And a blindness in our eyes
But we heard them as they nailed you and we saw you crucified
The second coming of the Holy Ghost
We need a pocketful of miracles
Two thousand years and he ain't shown yet
We kept his seat warm and the table set
The second sitting for the last supper, supper, supper
Another guru in the money, another mantra in the mail
An easy way from rags to riches
God's little acre's up for sale
The time is right for resurrection
We think you'd better come down
The church don't ring with hallelujahs, hallelujah
You haven't been for so long, so long, so long
Two thousand years and he ain't shown yet
We kept his seat warm and the table set
The second sitting for the last supper, supper, supper
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BRAND NEW DAY
When you open your eyes to a brand new morning
And the sun shines above you
You pull on your breeches and say
Oh well, it's the start of a brand new day
Yes it is, it's the start of a brand new day
For birds of prey
You live and learn your life away
But there below, your body must go
Against the grain, like an old mule train
Keeps pulling hard against the
Here boy, there boy
The boss got you running everywhere boy
Ya got no money and you got less sense
And you ain't going nowhere
But there below your body will go
You work all day, you sweat and strain
It's getting late
Them Pearly Gates might close before you reach them
Here boy, there boy
The Devil got you running everywhere boy
I smell cooking and it might be you
You sure ain't going nowhere
Here boy, there boy,
You're made for the Devil I swear boy
Something's cooking and it might be you
At the end of the day when you look around you
And the sun sets deep inside you
Dust off your breeches and say
Oh well
Say goodnight to the man in the moon
The sandman's on his way
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FLYING JUNK
Ooh he's a sly one, he's a razzmatazz man
He flew in from Singapore on a flying junk, man
Ooh he's a Devil
And the Devil's gonna bring you down
Ooh he's a stalwart with a heavy load on
He's got a finger in everyone's pie
And he's got what you want
Ooh he's a salesman
Ooh and his goods are gonna bring you down
He's never got the stuff if you ever go to him without money
He hasn't got the time for the people who are down on their knees
But if the price is right
You won't be asking him where it came from
Ooh he's a remnant from the swinging sixties
He pushed his load down the King's Road
To the Chelsea Potter
Ooh he's a snow job
Ooh and his shovel's gonna cover you
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LIFE IS A MINESTRONE
I'm dancing on the White House lawn
Sipping tea by the Taj Mahal at dawn
Hanging round the gardens of Babylon
Minnie Moue has got it all sewn up, c'mon pluto
She gets more fan mail than the Pope, own up, own up
She takes the Mickey out of all my phobias
Like signing cheques to ward off double pneumonia
Life is a minestrone, served up with parmesan cheese
Death is a cold lasagne suspended in deep freeze
I'm leaning on the tower of Pisa
Had an eyeful of the tower in France
I'm hanging round the gardens of Madison
The seat of learning and the flush of success
Relieve a constipated mind
I'm like a gourmet in a skid row diner
A fitting menu for a dilletante
Life is a minestrone, served up with parmesan cheese
Death is a cold lasagne suspended in deep freeze
Love is a fire of flaming brandy upon crepe suzette
Let's get this romance cooking honey
But let us not forget
Life is a minestrone, served up with parmesan cheese
Death is a cold lasagne suspended in deep freeze
Life is a minestrone, served up with parmesan cheese
Death is a cold lasagne suspended in deep freeze
Love is a fire of flaming brandy upon crepe suzette
Let's get this romance cooking honey
But let us not forget
Life is a minestrone, served up with parmesan cheese
Death is a cold lasagne suspended in deep freeze
Life is a minestrone, served up with parmesan cheese
Death is a cold lasagne suspended in deep freeze
Come on
Mini, mini, mini, minestrone
Mini, mini, mini, minestrone
Mini, mini, mini, minestrone
Mini, mini, mini, minestrone
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THE FILM OF MY LOVE
Co-starring you and co-starring me,
Starring us both together
The film of my love will travel the world
Forever and ever and ever
A back lot romance, a scripted affair
The screenplay a blessing from heaven
We're gone with the wind on the Orient express
To join the magnificent seven
The film of my love will travel the world
And travel the whole world over
The film of my love will travel the world
Over and over and over
The film of my love will travel the world
Over and over and over
Over and over and over again
Over and over and over
A close-up of yours, a long shot of mine
Superimposed together
I'll zoom in on you with a love that is true
In Cinemascope forever
A clapperboard kiss, there's an Oscar in this
A hit or a miss whatever
A box-office wedding, a premiere for two
We'll be on location forever
When Pathe recall the thrill of it all
They'll edit us both together
A legend, a classic, an epic of love
Captured on film forever
A lasting embrace, that time can't erase
Let them censor the wind or the weather
The film of my love will conquer the world
Forever and ever and ever
The film of my love will travel the world
And travel the whole world over
The film of my love will travel the world
Over and over and over
The film of my love will travel the world
Over and over and over
Over and over and over again
Over and over and over
Over and over and over
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GOOD NEWS
Something to begin with, that's easier said than done
You'll see me rolling home
But I don't understand why
Still there's nothing at all, time is on my side
But we mustn't let our disappointment show
But I will, and you will go on
All I need is some good news, some good news
All I need is some good news, just some good news
To put me on my feet, to put me on my feet
To put me at my ease, at my ease
All I need is some good news, all I need is some good news
All I need is some good news, some good news
To put me at my ease, to put me at my ease
All I need is some good news
All I need is some good news, just gimme me some good news
All I need is some good news, some good news
To put me at my ease, to put me at my ease
To put me on my feet, on my feet, on my feet
All I need is some good news, all I need is some good news
All I need is some good news, all I need is some good news
All I need is some good news
All I need is some good news, all I need is good news
To put me on my ease, to put me at my ease
To put me on my feet, on my feet, on my feet
All I need is some good news, good news
All I need is some good news, some good news
All I need is some good news, good news
All I need is some good news
All I need is some good news, good news
All I need is some good news, some good news
All I need is some good news, good news
All I need is some good news
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CHANNEL SWIMMER
Well it's cold down here in the water
It's cold down here in the sea
Who'd be a channel swimmer?
Only a fool like me
I've greased my body and I'm heading over the ocean
These two arms are the only locomotion
I need, see me swim and see me float
I don't need no motorboat or a yacht to get me there
I'll do the breaststroke and the backstroke
I'll do anything
I'll be swimming when you're all asleep
I'll be swimming when you're all awake
I'll do the sidestroke, the other sidestroke
I'll do the butterfly
But I ain't gonna crawl on back to you, no way
I see your face in every breaker
I see your smile across the reef
I came across the sea to take you
Don't make me out to be a thief
You'll be dreaming when you're all asleep
But I'll be drowning when you're all awake
I did the breaststroke, I did my best stroke
I did everything
But I ain't good enough
'Cause it's cold down here in the water
It's cold down here in the sea
Who'd be a channel swimmer?
Only a fool like me
Who'd be a channel swimmer?
Only a fool like me...would forget he can't swim
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