RUBBER BULLETS
I went to a party at the local county jail
All the cons were dancing and the band began to wail
But the guys were indiscreet
They were brawling in the street
At the local dance at the local county jail
Well the band were playing
And the booze began to flow
But the sound came over on the police car radio
Down at Precinct 49
Having a tear-gas of a time
Sergeant Baker got a call from the governor of the county jail
Load up, load up, load up with rubber bullets
Load up, load up, load up with rubber bullets
I love to hear those convicts squeal
It's a shame these slugs ain't real
But we can't have dancin' at the local county jail
Sergeant Baker and his men made a bee-line for the jail
And for miles around
You could hear the sirens wail
There's a rumour goin' round death row
That a fuse is gonna blow
At the local hop at the local county jail
Whatcha gonna do about it, whatcha gonna do
Whatcha gonna do about it, whatcha gonna do
Sergeant Baker started talkin'
With a bullhorn in his hand
He was cool, he was clear
He was always in command
He said "Blood will flow;
Here Padre
Padre you talk to your boys..."
"Trust in me -
God will come to set you free"
Well we don't understand
Why you called in the National Guard
When Uncle Sam is the one
Who belongs in the exercise yard
We all got balls and brains
But some's got balls and chains
At the local dance at the local county jail
Load up, load up, load up with rubber bullets
Load up, load up, load up with rubber bullets
Is it really such a crime
For a guy to spend his time
At the local dance at the local county jail
At the local dance at the local county jail
Whatcha gonna do about it, whatcha gonna do
Whatcha gonna do about it, whatcha gonna do
DONNA
Oh Donna
You made me stand up
You made me sit down, Donna
Sit down, Donna
Sit down
You made stand up
Donna waiting by the telephone
Donna waiting for the phone to ring
Oh Donna
You make me break up
You make me break down, Donna
Break down, Donna
Break down
You make me break up
Meanwhile waiting by the telephone
Donna is waiting for the phone to ring
"Hello, darling
Yes I love you darling
Yes I love you"
Oh Donna
You made me stand up
You made me sit down, Donna
Sit down, Donna
Sit down
You make stand up
Donna I'd stand on my head for you
Oh my love, my own one
Oh my love, my own one
Donna waiting by the telephone
Donna waiting for the phone to ring
Oh Donna
Oh Donna
Oh Donna
Oh Donna
Donna I love you
SILLY LOVE
Hey toots, you put the life into living
You brought a sigh into sight
Ah hon, you make my legs turn to water
You bring the stars out at night
But they ain't half so bright
As your eyes
Gee whiz, you take the beauty out of beautiful
You play the strings of my heart
Oh babe, you take the wonder out of wonderful
Oh my, oh my, and my, if you were mine
The rain would turn to sweet sweet wine
Well he's been up all night
Breakin' his head in two to write
A little sonnet for his chickadee
But between you and me
I think its sssssssssssilly. Silly
Ooh treas, you got a smile like a Rembrandt
Aha, you got the style of a queen
Oh dear, you are the petal of a rosebud
Next to you all the others could be weeds
You're the only one my garden needs
Ooh, you know the art of conversation
Must be dying
Ooh, when a romance depends on
Cliches and toupees and threepes
We're up to here with moonin' and junin'
If you want to sound sincere -
Don't rely on Crosby's croonin' -
Take a little time
Make up your own rhyme
Don't rely on mine
`Cos it's sssssssssilly - silly - silly - silly
THE DEAN AND I
Hum drum days
And a hum drum ways
Hey kids, let me tell you how I met your mom
We were dancin' and romancin' at the Senior Prom
It was no infatuation
But a gradual graduation
From a boy to a man
Let me tell you while I can
The soda pop came free
Hey Sis, one kiss, and I was heaven bound
Now who would have guessed Milton's paradise lost could be found
But in the eyes of the Dean, his daughter
Was doin' what she shouldn'a oughta
But a man's gotta do
What a man's gotta do
The consequence should be
Church bells, three swells
The Dean, his daughter and me
They were dating in the park
They were smooching in the dark
Of a doorway for two
She whispered "I love you -
Ooh, you know I never felt this way before
Ooh, you know the elevator in my heart
Has gone awol, awol, awol, awol"
And then I kissed her
And when I kissed her
It's a wonderful world
When you're rolling in kisses
Now, the paint is peeling
(Hum drum days and hum drum ways)
Now, and when the chips are down
(Hum drum days and hum drum ways)
Now, you kinda lose all feeling
(Hum drum days and hum drum ways)
Now, your head goes round and round
(Hum drum days and hum drum ways)
Round and round and round and round and round
I'm throwing myself off this train
Hum drum days
And a hum drum ways
Hum drum days, he's got
Hum drum ways, oh boy
Hey, you know I'm really earning now
My ship came in with a cargo of dollars
My name's lit up on the prow
It's a wonderful world
When you're rolling in dollars
Now!
LIFE IS A MINESTRONE
I'm dancing on the White House lawn
Sipping tea by the Taj Mahal at dawn
Hanging round the gardens of Babylon
Minnie Moue has got it all sewn up, c'mon Pluto
She gets more fan mail than the Pope, own up, own up
She takes the Mickey out of all my phobias
Like signing cheques to ward off double pneumonia
Life is a minestrone, served up with parmesan cheese
Death is a cold lasagne suspended in deep freeze
I'm leaning on the tower of Pisa
Had an eyeful of the tower in France
I'm hanging round the gardens of Madison
The seat of learning and the flush of success
Relieve a constipated mind
I'm like a gourmet in a skid row diner
A fitting menu for a dilletante
Life is a minestrone, served up with parmesan cheese
Death is a cold lasagne suspended in deep freeze
Love is a fire of flaming brandy upon crepe suzette
Let's get this romance cooking honey
But let us not forget
Life is a minestrone, served up with parmesan cheese
Death is a cold lasagne suspended in deep freeze
Life is a minestrone, served up with parmesan cheese
Death is a cold lasagne suspended in deep freeze
Love is a fire of flaming brandy upon crepe suzette
Let's get this romance cooking honey
But let us not forget
Life is a minestrone, served up with parmesan cheese
Death is a cold lasagne suspended in deep freeze
Life is a minestrone, served up with parmesan cheese
Death is a cold lasagne suspended in deep freeze
Come on
Mini, mini, mini, minestrone
Mini, mini, mini, minestrone
Mini, mini, mini, minestrone
Mini, mini, mini, minestrone
THE WALL STREET SHUFFLE
Do the Wall Street shuffle
Hear the money rustle
Watch the greenbacks tumble
Feel the Sterling crumble
You need a yen to make a mark
If you wanna make money
You need the luck to make a buck
If you wanna be Getty, Rothschild
You've gotta be cool on Wall Street
You've gotta be cool on Wall Street
When your index is low
Dow Jones ain't got time for the bums
They wind up on skid row with holes in their pockets
They plead with you, buddy can you spare the dime
But you ain't got the time
Doin' the....
Doin' the....
Oh, Howard Hughes
Did your money make you better?
Are you waiting for the hour
When you can screw me?
`Cos you're big enough
To do the Wall Street Shuffle
Let your money hustle
Bet you'd sell your mother
You can buy another
Doin' the....
Doin' the....
You buy and sell
You wheel and deal
But you're living on instinct
You get a tip
You follow it
And you make a big killing
On Wall Street
ART FOR ART'S SAKE
Gimme your body
Gimme your mind
Open your heart
Pull down the blind
Gimme your love gimme it all
Gimme in the kitchen gimme in the hall
Art for arts sake
Money for Gods sake
Art for Arts sake
Money for Gods sake
Gimme the readys
Gimme the cash
Gimme a bullet
Gimme a smash
Gimme a silver gimme a gold
Make it a million for when I get old
Art for arts sake
Money for Gods sake
Art for Arts sake
Money for Gods sake
Money talks so listen to it
Money talks to me
Anyone can understand it
Money can't be beat Oh no
When you get down, down to the root
Don't give a damn don't give a hoot
Still gotta keep makin the loot
Chauffeur driven
Gotta make her quick as you can
Give her lovin' make you a man
Get her in the palm of your hand
Bread from Heaven
Gimme a country
Where I can be free
Don't need the unions
Strangling me
Keep me in exile the rest of my days
Burn me in hell but as long as it pays
Art for arts sake
Money for Gods sake
Art for arts sake
Money for Gods sake
Art for arts sake
Money for Gods sake
Art for arts sake
Money for Gods sake
I'M MANDY FLY ME Oh, no you'll never get me up in one of those again
'Cause what goes up, what goes up must come
Down, down, down, down
Just like a rollin' stone
I'm outside lookin' in
But if your chance came would you take it
Where on earth do I begin
I'm Mandy fly me
I've often heard her jingle
It's never struck a chord
With a smile as bright as sunshine
She called me through the poster
And welcomed me aboard
She led me she fed me
She read me like a book
But I'm hiding in the small print
Won't you take another look
And take me away
Try me Mandy fly me away
The world was spinning like a ball
And then it wasn't there at all
And as my heart began to fall
I saw her walking on the water
As the sharks were comin' for me
I felt Mandy pull me up give me the kiss of life
Just like the girl in Dr. No No No No
Ah when they pulled me from the wreckage
And her body couldn't be found
Was it in my mind it seems
I had a crazy dream
I told them so but they said no no no no
I found me on a street
And starin' at a wall
If it hadn't have been for Mandy
Her promise up above me
Well I wouldn't be here at all
So if you're travellin' in the sky
Don't be surprised if someone said Hi
I'm Mandy fly me
GOOD MORNING JUDGE
Well good morning Judge, how are you today
I'm in trouble, please put me away
A pretty thing took a shine to me
I couldn't stop her so I let it be
I couldn't stop her so I let it be
I couldn't stop her so I let it be
I couldn't stop her so I let it be
He didn't do it, he wasn't there
He didn't want it, he wouldn't dare
Well good morning Judge, yes I'm back again
I'm in trouble, so it's back to the pen
I found a car but I couldn't pay
I fell in love and I drove it away
I fell in love and I drove it away
I fell in love and I drove it away
I fell in love and I drove it away
He didn't do it, he wasn't there
He didn't want it, he wouldn't dare
I didn't do it, I wasn't there
I didn't want it, I wouldn't dare
Alcatraz is like a home sweet home
I'm so wanted and I'm never alone
San Quentin is the place to be
I'm so happy I don't wanna be free
So happy I don't wanna be free
So happy I don't wanna be free
So happy I don't wanna be free
THE THINGS WE DO FOR LOVE
Too many broken hearts have fallen in the river
Too many lonely souls have drifted out to sea,
You lay your bets and then you pay the price
The things we do for love, the things we do for love.
Communication is the problem to the answer
You've got her number and your hand is on the phone
The weather's turned and all the lines are down
The things we do for love, the things we do for love.
Like walking in the rain and the snow
When there's nowhere to go
And you're feelin' like a part of you is dying
And you're looking for the answer in her eyes.
You think you're gonna break up
Then she says she wants to make up.
Ooh you made me love you
Ooh you've got a way
Ooh you had me crawling up the wall.
Like walking in the rain and the snow
When there's nowhere to go
And you're feelin' like a part of you is dying
And you're looking for the answer in her eyes.
You think you're gonna break up
Then she says she wants to make up.
Ooh you made me love you
Ooh you've got a way
Ooh you had me crawling up the wall.
A compromise would surely help the situation
Agree to disagree but disagree to part
When after all it's just a compromise of
The things we do for love, the things we do for love....
DREADLOCK HOLIDAY I was walkin' down the street
Concentratin' on truckin' right
I heard a dark voice beside of me
And I looked round in a state of fright
I saw four faces one mad
A brother from the gutter
They looked me up and down a bit
And turned to each other
I say
I don't like cricket oh no
I love it
I don't like cricket oh no
I love it
Don't you walk thru my words
You got to show some respect
Don't you walk thru my words
`Cause you ain't heard me out yet
Well he looked down at my silver chain
He said I'll give you one dollar
I said you've got to be jokin' man
It was a present from me Mother
He said I like it I want it
I'll take it off your hands
And you'll be sorry you crossed me
You'd better understand that you're alone
A long way from home
And I say
I don't like reggae no no
I love it
I don't like reggae oh no
I love it
Don't you cramp me style
Don't you queer on me pitch
Don't you walk thru my words
`Cause you ain't heard me out yet
I hurried back to the swimming pool
Sinkin' pina coladas
I heard a dark voice beside me say
Would you like something harder
She said I've got it you want it
My harvest is the best
And if you try it you'll like it
And wallow in a Dreadlock Holiday
And I say
Don't like Jamaica oh no
I love her
Don't like Jamaica oh no
I love her oh yea
Don't you walk thru her words
You got to show some respect
Don't you walk thru her words
`Cause you ain't heard her out yet
I don't like cricket
I love it (Dreadlock Holiday)
I don't like reggae
I love it (Dreadlock Holiday)
Don't like Jamaica
I love her (Dreadlock Holiday)
I'M NOT IN LOVE I'm not in love, so don't forget it
It's just a silly phase I'm going through
And just because I call you up
Don't get me wrong, don't think you've got it made
I'm not in love, no, no, it's because...
I like to see you, but then again
That doesn't mean you mean that much to me
So if I call you, don't make a fuss
Don't tell your friends about the two of us
I'm not in love, no, no, it's because...
Be quiet, big boys don't cry, big boys don't cry
Big boys don't cry, big boys don't cry
I keep your picture upon the wall
It hides a nasty stain that's lying there
So don't you ask me to give it back
I know you know it doesn't mean that much to me
I'm not in love, no, no, it's because...
Ooh you'll wait a long time for me,
Ooh you'll wait a long time
Ooh you'll wait a long time for me
Oooooh you'll wait a long time
I'm not in love, so don't forget it
It's just a silly phase I'm going through
And just because I call you up
Don't get me wrong, don't think you've got it made
Ooh I'm not in love, I'm not in love
