Addicted?

Did you recognize the symptoms on "Watching too much BtVS?" Do you find yourself completely addicted to the show? Well, I'm here to help... Now, let's discuss this illness - it's the kind you can go through your life having, and it won't harm you. But if you feel that your social life is going through some emotional distress - well, I hate to say it, but - BtVS isn't the way to go. If you are being shunned by your friends because they can't stand another word of Buffy thanks to you - maybe it's time to deal with your obsession.

Personally, my friends all tell me I'm obsessed - but I like it! I know I'll probably grow out of it when I'm say- 80? My point is - I'm not completely addicted - I prefer being out in the real life to sitting at home watching Buffy. (please! no hate-mail) But for those of you who are - here's my guide to 'de-buffycation'. (It's not like I've tried it myself)

1. Go down to one episode a day

2.  Every time you feel the need to say something about Buffy.. , cover your mouth with both of your hands.

3. Stay away from the computer for at least a week, leave all schoolwork to your friends, it's not safe to go on the Internet - you might stumble upon some Buffy-material

4. I know this is hard, but if you truly want to be free - delete all Buffy-pics on your hard-drive (and the ones on your yellow floppy disk as well...)

5.  Delete all your Buffy-related bookmarks (except maybe this one)

6.  This is a tough one: tape useless TV-shows on your Buffy-tapes (even on the ones you can't record anything on anymore 'cuz you've teared away the little plastic piece on the tape to prevent anyone from destroying your Buffy-recordings - you just put a little piece of tape over the hole - and voilá!) (at least that's how our videotapes here in Sweden work)

7.  Avoid any and all teenage flicks, you may stumble upon a Buffy-character... and, believe me, you won't be able to stop thinking: Hey, she doesn't act that way in BtVS, Buffy's not like that for real.. etcetera.

8.  Turn your homepage into something else than a Buffy-site - have you ever considered gardening?

9. Change your answering machine message into something else than *Buffy's not home*...

10. Only visit the library in case of emergency - and then I'm not talking about the sudden need to look in a high school yearbook from the 40's...

11. Don't celebrate Buffy's birthday, and if you absolutely have to.. don't do it sitting in a sofa, watching some old love musical (or movie) and eating a biscuit with a single candle in it...

12. Stop searching for a 'Dingoes ate my baby' CD - it's not there...

13. Don't enter any more talent shows, especially not playing a dramatic scene from ancient Greece.

14. Work on your clown-fear, but don't go to a circus to beat one up

15. Stop wearing crosses - and, while you're at it, throw out your stakes as well - trust me, you won't be needing them

16. Don't watch any more vampire-related movies - you'll only be disappointed...

17. Don't stab your horticulture teacher with a trowel - or pruning sheers, for that matter - in the hopes of finding another rebel with a cause in the principal's office.