Finding Your Love
Title: Finding Your Love
Author: Megan Faye
Rated: PG 13
Code: J/T
Kathryn looked up from her desk, tears in her eyes. B'Elanna shook her head. It was over. "No," Kathryn whispered.
"Their gone, Captain." Kathryn silently turned the picture of Chakotay face down on her desk and removed her engagement ring. There would be no wedding; no future, no happily ever after.
"Its was their choice. I knew he loved Tom, and I gave him the choice. You gave Tom the choice." Kathryn dropped her face in her hands.
"Boy weren't *we* monumentally stupid," B'Elanna whispered as she lead Kathryn to the couch. Kathryn sighed heavily and sat. "I know how you feel. At least they're happy."
"Well, *that* really helps us. Our soon-to-be husbands left us for each other."
"Jerry Springer."
"Who?"
"Tom watched a *lot* of 1990s and 2000 television. Jerry Springer was a talk show host with really odd guests; hookers dating their brother's wife, other love triangles. They'd beat each other up a lot. Fun show to watch."
"Hmm, no. Not for me." Kathryn leaned her head back and stared at the ceiling. "B'Elanna, I feel so old right now."
"Captain, you're only, what, 5 years older than me?"
"THREE!"
"Sorry! I was saying, you're young, and beautiful. Forget Chakotay. He's happy...with my fiance." B'Elanna's voice shook. "Gods, this feels so......"
"Lonely." Kathryn looked up at B'Elanna. "I don't like being alone. I hate this. No one even feels close enough to call me Kathryn. Only Chakotay, and if *he* called me anything *but* Captain, he'll finish this journey n the goddamn brig!"
"I'll call you Kathryn," B'Elanna noted shyly. Kathryn smiled. "I'll call you Kathryn, if you'll call me Anna." B'Elanna shifted closer to Kathryn.
"I think that can be arranged.....Anna." Kathryn whispered as she closed the inches between them. The door chimed. Kathryn jumped back startled, as did B'Elanna. "Come." Tom and Chakotay slinked into the ready room. "Go."
"Excuse me?" Chakotay asked.
"Out, you ass," she hissed. "If its ship's business, report it to Tuvok."
"Um, Captain?" Tom squeaked.
"It had better be good, Ensign Paris," B'Elanna growled.
"B'Elanna, he's a Lt.," Chakotay muttered.
"No, Ensign sounds right to me, for the both of you. OUT!" Kathryn threw a Data PADD at them. Chakotay and Tom bolted from the ready room. As soon as the doors were closed, Kathryn allowed the built up tears to fall. "And I can't even bust their rank," she said before they both started crying. The situation would be funny if it weren't so depressing. "Anna, I can't be alone anymore. Its killing me." B'Elanna squeezed Kathryn's hand sympathetically. B'Elanna knew Tom wasn't going to be there forever, that he would leave. Kathryn, however, took so long to let Chakotay in because she wanted it to be for forever, not a few wonderful months, and a life time of grief.
"Kathryn, I have to get back to engineering and finish with the warp core. I'd like you to come to dinner in my quarters tonight. We can fiance bash over steak and mashed potatoes."
"Sounds like a plan. 20:30 hours ok?" B'Elanna nodded. "Have a good shift, Anna." Kathryn watched B'Elanna leave. As soon as the other woman was gone, she cried again.
"Come!" B'Elanna called. Kathryn entered with a bottle of wine. "Real wine; impressive."
"Don't tell the Captain. Its from her private stock," Kathryn said in a mock sneaky tone. "Mmmm....smells wonderful."
"I love my replicator. Perfect every time. So, how was your shift." Kathryn looked at the floor.
"You ex in front of me, and mine next to me, both squirming. I hid in my ready room for most of my shift." Kathryn looked up and smiled. "How was yours?"
"A thousand questions about the double wedding, and then about why it was canceled, was I all right, did I kill Tom, and who's funeral would be tomorrow. Not a minute of peace." Kathryn opened the wine and poured it into the glasses as the sat.
They ate in silence and moved to the couch with the wine. "Do you hate him?" Kathryn asked.
"Strangely, no. I'd like to, but I can't. Do you hate Chakotay?"
"Yes...and no. I hate how he is making me feel; alone, ugly, unwanted. I've never felt like this before." B'Elanna caressed Kathryn's face with the back of her hand. "Anna......" she started, closing her eyes.
"Kathryn, you are not alone, you're the most beautiful person I've ever met, and you are certainly *not* unwanted." Kathryn stood slowly and started towards the door. "I'm sorry. Stay. I'll keep my hands to myself, Captain."
"Anna, its just too......"
"Soon?" B'Elanna asked as she walked towards Kathryn shyly.
"Yes, too......" Kathryn forgot what she was going to say as B'Elanna came closer. "Intoxicating." B'Elanna pushed Kathryn against the bulkhead and kissed her passionately. Kathryn wrapped her arms around B'Elanna's waist and pulled her close as B'Elanna pulled at the red uniform jacket. Soon, they were both down to their tank top. The strong Klingon lifted Kathryn's legs and pushed her hard against the bulk head for support, holding onto her butt, feeling and squeezing. Kathryn pushed her hands up the other woman's tank top.
"Kath....bed....." B'Elanna breathed. Kathryn nodded and B'Elanna carried her to the bed and gently set her down and removed their boots.
"Come in with me, dammit! I went into the Captain's quarters with you!" Tom pleaded. They were getting some things from their ex fiance's quarters that would definitely be needed for the next morning; cloths, a pillow, some data PADDs.
"That was different. Captain Janeway wasn't *in* her quarters. Just go, and hurry up." Tom glared at Chakotay before he keyed in the access code to B'Elanna's quarters. He disappeared inside for a total on 10 seconds before rushing out. "What's wrong?"
"After sex, how well does the Captain sleep?"
"Air would wake her. Why?"
"I tripped and hit something, and she's still asleep." Chakotay furrowed his brow. "With B'Elanna."
"You're lying, Tommy."
"Go look!" Chakotay looked in on the sleeping couple. B'Elanna was holding Kathryn comfortably as they slept. He couldn't help but smile at them.
"Good morning, Commander, Lt. Paris! Have a good evening?" Kathryn asked as she stepped into the turbolift. The two men squirmed. "I certainly did. I slept like a rock. Even someone tripping over some clothing and knocking over a vase couldn't have woken me last night, Tom." Tom backed up behind Chakotay.
"Can we explain, Captain?" Chakotay squeaked.
"Explain what?" Kathryn stared at them blankly, with a hint of humor in her eyes. B'Elanna stepped on, and kissed Kathryn passionately. "Morning, Anna."
"Hi, Kath. How are you boys doing?"
"Um, we're good. Aren't you two going to try to kill us?" Kathryn and B'Elanna glanced at each other before cornering their ex fiance's. Kathryn planted a sloppy wet kiss on Chakotay's cheek, as did B'Elanna to Tom.
"Well, have a nice shift, boys; we're off today. "Kathryn and B'Elanna left the two bewildered men in the turbo lift as they chased each other down the corridor.