I Still Believe I Still put Faith in Us

Series: You Give Me Love
Rated:: PG-13 (mild language)
Summery: Kathryn and Tom split up, but when they get back together, can they make it work?



   Kathryn dropped her bag on the floor of B'Elanna's cabin, her four year old daughter, Easton ran to her open arms. Chakotay and B'Elanna's three year old son, Chayton, wasn't too far behind, going to his mother. Kathryn hugged her daughter sadly. This was the first week of the arrangement that Kathryn and Tom had made. Easton would spend one week with Kathryn, and one with Tom, who now had separate cabins. When Tom had Easton and Naomi, Kathryn lived in B'Elanna and Chakotay's cabin, while Tom had their cabin. When Kathryn had the girls, Tom moved into one of the shuttles for a week. They both decided that the kids shouldn't have to move around the colony once a week, and it was easier for the Paris/Janeway marriage to be over.

     "Mommy, I don't want to go." Easton held on tight to her mother. B'Elanna had been watching Easton while Kathryn unpacked a week's worth of clothes and other needed things. "Can I stay with you?"

     "No, honey. Daddy wants you to stay with him. I'll just be a few cabins over."

     "If Mommy misses you, or you really miss Mommy, you can call her comm badge and talk before you go to bed," Tom said as he lingered at the door, leaning against the frame. "Well, my little pilot, wanna go with me to Jagon 7 for the afternoon? Daddy has to get some stuff for the colony."

     "Can I go Mommy?" Kathryn glared at Tom. He knew she hated when he took Easton to Jagon 7. It wasn't the safest place for a four year old to wander around.

     "We aren't going to the city, just the outer edge near the farmland. I swear, Kathryn."

     "Can't you go to Jagon 3 for the plants?"

     "You said yourself that Jagon 7 is the only planet that the seedlings and cotton plants grow on in enough abundance to trade, Captain. We're just going to a farmer's market." Kathryn nodded reluctantly. Tom smiled and lifted Easton onto his shoulders and ran down the hill with he towards the shuttles. Kathryn watched, ready to hail the Doctor when he tripped, but Tom didn't fall.


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    Kathryn opened her eyes suddenly. The room was dark, and cold, but she was sweating terribly. B'Elanna and Chakotay had been taking turns sitting with her as she tossed in her drug induced sleep. Tom and Easton's shuttle hadn't made it back. It was too long for Tom to be toying with her.
B'Elanna wiped the sweat from Kathryn's face with a cool damp rag. "Shhhh, Kathryn. It'll be all right."

     "Is he back?"

     "No," B'Elanna squeezed Kathryn's hand. "Chakotay took a shuttle to find them...." Kathryn could tell B'Elanna was holding something back. Something big.

     "There's more."

     "You read me like a PADD," B'Elanna laughed. "Kathryn, The Doctor wanted to wait until Tom was back to tell you."

     "I'm pregnant." It was more of a statement than a question. Kathryn and Tom had been trying for a second child since Easton's first birthday, but after 3 years, it had consumed their marriage, and eventually ended it. "I'm pregnant. Oh, God why did I let him go?" Kathryn sobbed. B'Elanna could only hold her hand and offer her shoulder.

     "Don't worry, Chakotay won't give up until they are home with you."

     "They won't be coming home to me. He doesn't come home to me, remember?" B'Elanna hushed her and brushed a hair from her face.

     "Kathryn, Tom loves you. Tom needs you like air. Do you see how sad his eyes are when he looks at you? He is lost without you. Give it a little time."

     "How can I? He's not even here. He and Easton......." Kathryn began shaking when he thought about what her daughter could be going through on that violent planet. "God what is happening to them? Where are they?" Kathryn collapsed into sobs again into B'Elanna's arms.

~*^*~*^*~*^*~*^*~*^*~*^*~*^*~*^*~*^*~


    Easton held tight to her father's hand as they were taken to a cell together until 'their people' came for them. No one from the Voyager  Colony had known that the leader of Jagon 7 had been changed, and trade was not permitted. Landing on the planet without permission was punishable by death. The guard tore Easton's hand away from Tom and threw him into a cell, and took the screaming child away.

     "Where are you taking my daughter! Easton, Hang on, Daddy'll help you as soon as he can, Pumpkin!" Tom screamed. His voice was lost among the yells of the guards to quiet Easton.

     "DADDY!" she cried, kicking and twisting in the guards big arms. Her voice stayed in Tom's head for a long time.

    A full day had passed when a man came to Tom's cell with food. He set the tray in front of Tom. "Number 115, eat."

    "Where is my daughter?"

    "She has been re-identified and placed. Don't worry, she is well taken care of." Tom kicked the tray away from himself. "You can starve or eat off the floor. It matters not." The man laughed and left him. 'I should have listened to Kathryn,' Tom thought to himself.

"What good would it have done, friend?" came a voice. It seemed to be in Tom's head, but at the same time, from somewhere else.

"Hello?"

'Shut up, the guards will hear you. Just think it. I can hear you.'

'Who are you?' Tom thought. 'More importantly, *where* are you.'

'My name is not important. I'm three cells over.'

'Dammit, who *are* you?'

'Do you want to know where the small one is or not?' Tom turned to where he thought the man was. 'Wrong side, genius. I'm over here by the door.' Tom rolled his eyes and turned.

'Where did they take my daughter?'

'There aren't a lot of children to be had on our planet. Only the rich are allowed, and even then it is difficult to conceive. Our pregnancies last almost 2 years, and the mother spends the last half of it in bed, or she could die. We hold our children sacred.'

'I hold *my* daughter sacred. How can I break out of here and find her?'

'I believe that man with the food tray can help you. He was thinking about breaking you out when I stopped staring at you.'

'What?'

'Look over behind the computer. Darker skin than you.'

'His name is Chakotay. Tell him I know he's here.' The mysterious man stared straight at Chakotay. After what looked intense to Tom, the man turned back.

'He can't find east. What does a compass have to do with you?'

'Easton, that's my daughter. Tell him to get us out of here.'

'He is working on it now. There are four others looking around the complex for Easton. Make that three, they've run into some trouble.'

'Does Chakotay have a plan?' Chakotay nodded at Tom from the computer console. Moments later an alarm sounded briefly and all of the cell force fields opened. Tom took his opportunity and ran to the computer where Chakotay thrust a communicator pin into his hand.

"Doc, beam us the hell out of here!" Chakotay screamed as the guards flooded into the room.


~*^*~*^*~*^*~*^*~*^*~*^*~*^*~*^*~*^*~

Tom worked quickly picking at the panel to shut off the force field. Easton kept her adoptive parents occupied by throwing a crying tantrum. 'She's good,' Tom thought. 'At least she's safe with them. They aren't going to hurt her. Gods, Kathryn is going to kill me.'

"Tom," Chakotay whispered. "I'm ready. In 3....2....1...NOW!" There was a small phaser blast that was masked be the daily solar burst. It would be another 15 minutes before they could detect that the force fields were down.
Tom and Chakotay snuck past the room where Easton was at. The second she saw the signal from her father, Easton promptly stopped the crying fit and skipped off to her doll house to play, leaving the couple utterly confused. Tom mentally counted down from 5. As he reached Zero, the couple exited the bedroom.

"I wouldn't move if I were you." Chakotay held the phaser riffle comfortably at the man's chest.

"Easton, honey, let's go!" The four year old red head bounced into her father's arms. "Your Mommy is going to be so happy to see you."

"Doctor, 3 to beam up." With a blue shimmer of light, the three vanished.

~*^*~*^*~*^*~*^*~*^*~*^*~*^*~*^*~*^*~

Kathryn opened her eyes. Someone was in the room with her. Chakotay was supposed to be gone, and B'Elanna was asleep; Kathryn could hear her snore from across the colony, and no one else should be there.

"Hello? Who's there. I've got a Phaser and I shoot to kill," she said. Waking Kathryn Janeway was a fatal error on anyone's part.

"Kathryn, its me. We're home." Tom smoothed her hair from her face and hugged her. "Chakotay put Easton in with Naomi. Poor kid's exhausted. Are you all right?"

"Where the *hell* were you, Thomas Eugene Paris? I have been worried sick! You were supposed to be gone an afternoon, not two whole Goddamn weeks!"

"I was put in jail, and Easton was placed in an adoptive family. Chakotay broke me out and with Easton's help, we got her back."

"What did you do to get yourself arrested? Go to a bar and get so drunk that you burned the place down?"

"No, I landed on the planet. Turns out that its illegal now. They were going to kill me, Kathryn. Listen, go back to sleep, we'll talk in the morning, *Dear*." Tom was upset that his own wife didn't even care enough about him to hear his side of what happened.

"Tom, I'm pregnant." Tom stopped and turned to face her. "Remember that night about a month ago, the day before the last fight?"

"Yeah, I wanted to keep trying and you wanted to give up and just be happy for one baby."

"Well, I was...wrong. I don't want to give up on you, Tom. Can we try to work this out?"

"Of course we can, Kathryn. I love you, and I didn't want to leave you. I left because I thought you wanted me to, Darling." Tom sat on the bed and pulled Kathryn onto his lap and rocked her back and forth for the rest of the night, whispering into her ear how much he loved her.


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1 year later


"Why I *ever* took you back, I'll *never know!" Kathryn screamed. Naomi was almost 12, and was often taking Easton and the baby over to B'Elanna and Chakotay's cabin when Kathryn and Tom started fighting, which was getting more and more frequent.

"I was the one stupid enough to come back to someone so selfish and petty."

"You still blame me for getting us stranded in the Delta Quadrant and then on this planet, don't you? Every day I see you staring at that shuttle craft, begging me to tell you to leave and head for the Alpha Quadrant. You know what, go. Go, Tom, and I don't want to ever see you again." Kathryn was calm and quiet as she stomped into the bedroom, and then slammed the door so hard it nearly fell off. Tears welled up in her eyes as she lay on her bed, glaring out the window. she half expected to see Tom walk by in the direction of the shuttles.
The bedroom door glided open slowly. Tom heard something he'd never heard before; Kathryn crying. he sat on the bed next to her, her back facing him.

"Kathryn, I didn't mean it," he whispered. Tom knew he loved Kathryn, and he was deeply in-love with her, but they were both stubborn and bad tempered. They weren't always this way. It was only in the last 2 years. They had tried for three years to have a second child. The stress of that was added on to the stress of not being on a ship going home. Kathryn and Tom both knew from the time they were small that they needed to be in space like they needed to breath air. It had become too much apart of them, and then snatched away.

"Tom, where is the baby?"

"Naomi took him and Easton to B'Elanna's cabin." There was a knock on the door. "Come!" Chakotay poked his head in.

"Captain, we're being hailed, and you didn't have a comm badge handy. Its Star Fleet at Pathfinder." Kathryn sat straight up in surprise.


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"Dad, How are you?" Tom said into the screen.

"Tom, where is Captain Janeway?"

"Kathryn'll be along in a minute, she is indisposed at the moment." On cue, Kathryn made her appearance, with 3 month old Thomas Eugene Paris in her arms.

"Admiral Paris! Its good to hear from Star Fleet. Tell me some good news."

"Obviously, we've found a way to communicate, but the window will only be open for a week. Then it closes for a year. Your new ship is coming along nicely.

"Mommy?" Easton asked softly. Tom pulled the five year old onto his lap.

"Er, who are these little ones?" Owen Paris her when Easton made her appearance.

"Admiral, this is my five year old daughter, Easton," Kathryn said, introducing him to the little girl. "And this is my three month old son, Gene. Kids, this is your grandfather." Owen's jaw dropped as Easton looked up at her father.

"Daddy? Can I go play with Naomi and Chayton?"

"Yeah, I'll walk you over, Peanut. But Mommy wanted you to meet your Grandfather. See the man on the screen there?"

"That really mad one?" Tom grinned and looked over at the screen. His father's face was red and his jaw set. "Daddy, I wanna go play."

"Okay, say good-bye to Grandfather."

"Bye Grandfather. I love you!" she squealed joyfully. Tom stood, and reached down to kiss Kathryn gently.

"I'll see you at home, Hon."

"Are you going to come play with me and Chayton and Chakotay, Daddy?" Easton asked as they exited the shuttle craft that had been transformed into a communications array.

"Of course I will, Peanut. Who else is going to catch that fat old Indian when he falls out of the tree house he's building?" Tom turned back to his wife. "Love you, Kat. Bye, Dad."

"Good-bye......son....." Owen managed to stammer out. Tom smiled and left. "Captain, do you realize how utterly inappropriate, and unprofessional...."

"With all do respect, Admiral, we're not on a ship anymore, we aren't even Star fleet anymore. We're a community, and I don't think it was inappropriate, OR unprofessional to fall in love and get married and start a family. And look at the two beautiful children your son has given us, Admiral Paris, look." Kathryn gently moved the blanket away from the baby's face and lifted him out of it. She held him closer to the screen so Owen could see him better.

"He looks like Tom," Owen whispered gently. "Kathryn, how long have we known each other? Twenty-five years now? Thirty? Most of Tom's life, Kathryn. It'll never work. You are both too stubborn and you'll be fighting all the time." 'Boy I'm glad someone warned me before we got married.....'

"Admiral," Kathryn began, shifting Gene more comfortably in her lap.

"Call me Owen."

"Owen, I love Tom and out children, and I'm not going to give them up. I would give up Star Fleet for them."

"Kathryn, calm down, no one is saying you are going to loose any of it. I'm just worried that Tom is going to screw it up again. You know his record. If I were going to pick someone it would not be someone like my son."

"Owen, you know close to nothing about Tom. Maybe you knew about him before he came aboard Voyager, but a LOT has changed in the last 13 years. He is one of the most highly trusted officers I had on that ship, and he could always be counted on for *anything* and I will *not* have you sneering at him as if he were a child caught with his hand in a cookie jar. We spent six *year* aboard a Starship in a quadrant without Starfleet's help, and he has *more* that a thousand times risked his life to save the crew. I don't care if this costs me my Starfleet career, I am not going to let you do *any*thing to hurt that man." Kathryn tapped the panel and closed communications. Tom poked his head in.

"Kat?" She smiled up at him as she stood. Tom took her into his arms in a long welcomed hug. "Kathryn, darling, I'm sorry. I'll talk to him."

"I'll probably be court marshaled the minute we return," she laughed into his neck. Gene fussed in his mother's arms as he was right in the middle of the hug. "Oh, Baby, I'm sorry. Mommy's sorry."

"Kat, let's go home."

"Under one condition."

"Anything."

"We both stop being so damn stubborn."

"I'm not the one who's stubborn...."

"Oh, don't hand me that...." Kathryn argued back. "You are the most stubborn man I have ever met."

"Does everything always have to be a fight?"

"If it didn't, we'd never have to kiss and make up." Kathryn smiled wryly at Tom as she walked off, leaving him dumbfounded.


The End