Loving Tom

Title: Loving Tom
Series: You Give Me Love
Rated: PG 13
Disclaimer: I own nothing, If you saw what kind of Computer I'm on, you would
know suing me would be rather useless
Summery: After a shuttle accident, Tom and Kathryn have trouble dealing with
his condition.



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Easton took the fork from her fathers hand and replaced it with a spoon. She dropped it into the soup to encourage Tom to feed himself.

"The spoon'll make it easier Daddy," the nine year old explained. Tom nodded blankly. "Hurry up and eat. Mom will be back from the gardens soon and you want to show her that you can feed yourself now. She'll be really happy. I promise." Tom smiled. Everyone had treated him as they felt sorry for him except Easton. He always felt like smiling when she was there.

"Easton," Naomi called. "Where's Gene?" Easton looked under the table. Her 4 year old brother was sitting there fiddling with an old tricorder rendered useless.

"Playing under the table again." Naomi entered with a large basket of laundry. "Want help?"

"Yeah, I'll fold and you sort. I think this is the Torres' basket." As a colony, each person had a different job to do on a daily basis. Some had nobler jobs; learning medical techniques in the small hospital, working at the shuttles with the communications array, scouting out new plants for food or cotton, and running the colony school and daycare, while others did the less-than-dignified work; laundry, gardening, cooking, and cleaning. Naomi worked on laundry one day a week for the Paris, Torres, Carey, and Delaney cabins. The rest of the week was spent with the Doctor in medical studies. On her day off of all of this, Naomi scouted with Chakotay simply because it was relaxing.

"Yeah, this is the Torres basket. These are Chayton's boxers."

"You're nine, how would you know?" Tom loved watching the two of them talk. It seemed innocent and gentle.

"Well, hello, they say CT and they're small. How many CT's do you know?" Naomi giggled.

"So, Easton, how is Chakotay doing with the piloting training?"

"Not too bad. He isn't Dad, but he's a good teacher. Hey, Dad, pick your spoon up. It fell in your soup again," Easton said, casually. Tom wasn't paying attention. He had slumped down in his chair and began to slide under the table with Gene. Easton knew he wouldn't eat any more of his soup, so she started to fix a peanut butter and jelly sandwich.

"Hi Daddy," Gene said to his father, as if it were not unusual to find him under the table. Tom picked up one of the broken tricorders and toyed with it. "Daddy, look!" he said, handing him the first tricorder. It was working again. Tom reached his hand up, placing it on top of the table for Easton to see.

"Hey, Gene fixed it!" Naomi picked it up and scanned Easton. "You've grown 4 centimeters."

"Nice work Gene!" Kathryn, now seven months pregnant, entered the cabin. She was hot from working out in the gardens all morning. Kathryn looked around the room for Tom. "Under the table with Gene, Mom." Kathryn sighed heavily. "Look what Gene did!" Kathryn tapped the tricorder.

"Its 82 degrees outside," Kathryn said, placing the tricorder on the counter to bring to Chakotay later. "Come on, boys. Let's go for a walk before I have to go back to the gardens." Kathryn lifted Gene into her arms and took Tom by the hand. "Did either one finish lunch?"

"Gene did, but Dad would barely touch his soup. I thought he might like a sandwich. I had a few rations left over, so I made use of them for a jar of peanut butter, jelly, and fresh bread earlier today for Dad." Easton handed the sandwich to her father. Tom smiled and ate it in 4 bites. "Okay, no more soup." Easton grinned. "Want some milk, Dad?"

"He doesn't understand you Easton," Kathryn explained.

"Yes, he does. Watch. Dad?" Tom turned and looked at her. "Do you want some milk?" she asked gently. Tom smiled. The girl handed him a glass of milk, which he drank. Tom placed the empty glass down and nodded once in a sort of 'Thank you' to his daughter. "See? He knows exactly what's going on."

"Easton, darling, he is your father, but he isn't ever going to be the same, okay. He was hurt very bad. Remember his accident 6 months ago, sweetie?"

"Mom, I'm 9, not 3. I understand," Easton said, setting her jaw.

"Do you really think its easy for me to see your father like this?" Kathryn's tone was calm and unsettling.

"Kathryn, no. No one is saying that," Naomi said, protecting Easton from getting yelled at for something that was no one's fault.

"I don't need to hear this from you!" she yelled.

"Kat," Tom sputtered out. "Kat, no."

"Tom?" Kathryn whispered. He hadn't said a word since the accident. Kathryn took his hand. Tom looked at her with a sad, yet angry look. Easton knew this look well. Every time her mother had talked to him, it was as if he were 3.

"Kat, no." Tom looked very frustrated. He wanted to say more, but couldn't find the words. He lifted Easton up and walked out of the room.


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6 months earlier


The shuttle was spinning through the anomaly picking up the matter for the shuttle engines and the colony replicators. B'Elanna, in the chair next to him, was settling the matter in the containment beacon.

"So, Tom, like being in space again?"

"Are you kidding, I would kill for a mission. The Captain really doesn't like sending me though. How does Commander Chakotay feel about you being up here about 2 minutes from labor?"

"First of all, Chakotay does *not* tell me where I can and cannot go. Second, I've got another three weeks. Third, *Captain Janeway* doesn't mind sending *Lt. Paris* on a mission like this. Month-and-a-half Pregnant *Kathryn* Janeway Paris hates sending *Mr. Janeway* on *any* mission."

"So I took her last name, big deal. Tom Janeway sounds.....distinguished," Tom joked. "And she's two months along. I actually think it could be twins with the way she's eating. Wow, four kids. I'm a real family man now...."

"Two is my limit."

"You also said 'One is enough' about a year ago," Tom laughed. "Theresa Erin for a girl; Thomas Evan for a boy."

"Taya Easton, Thomas Eugene, Thomas Eugene, Jr. I see a pattern here. Same initials as you and the other two," B'Elanna pointed out.

"Kathryn picked the names. What about this one?"

"Chakotay is dying to name the baby Teddy. I have a feeling its a girl, though."

"Why Teddy? Has he found more hallucinogenic plants?"

"Tom, you can't tell anyone what I'm about to tell you." Tom crossed his heart. Rain had taught him that in 1996. "What was that?"

"Cross my heart, hope to die, stick a needle in my eye."

"WHAT!?"

"I swear I won't tell." B'Elanna looked at him skeptically.

"Teddy after...Chakotay's teddy bear that he...sleeps with." Tom burst into laughter. "Its not that funny. He brings the ratty old thing to bed *every* night. *HOW* he got it off Voyager I'll never understand. Probably a site to site transport...or the medicine bag. I don't know, but he's had it since he was born."

"A bear? Chakotay? Gods, I am never going to let him live THIS one down!"

"YOU SWORE, TOM PARIS!" B'Elanna slapped the back of his head. "I'll kill you before you can tell him!" Tom laughed harder. "Would you get over yourself?" Suddenly there was an explosion.

"What the shit?" The shuttle rocked with a second blast. "Chakotay, get B'Elanna out of here; we're under attack! I'll get the shuttle back!"

"Wait!" B'Elanna protested, but was beamed out a second later. Tom swung the shuttle about and fired on the small ship attacking his shuttle. Chakotay's shuttle needed a safe getaway; that was what was important. He had enough matter to last the colony for about 3 months, and B'Elanna was pregnant. As soon as the other shuttle was safe, he'd make a break for it.

"TOM! Get the *hell* out of there!" Chakotay yelled over the comm. "Dammit. I'm coming for you."

"No, you have what we need. Get B'Elanna back to the planet, NOW!" The consol next to him exploded, tossing him like a rag doll across the shuttle. Before everything went black, Tom felt himself being beamed out. 'Damn you Chakotay, now we'll all be killed,' he thought before he passed out.


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Chakotay landed the badly damaged shuttle next to the small hospital and ran in. He had beamed B'Elanna and Tom down. Joe Carey said he'd wait until they landed; he had a broken wrist and it wasn't an emergency. Tom, however, probably wouldn't make it another 10 minutes, and B'Elanna another 20, without surgery.
Chakotay waited with Kathryn outside OR impatiently. He knelt and prayed for over an hour for the lives of Tom, B'Elanna and the baby. After what seemed like years, a baby's crying was heard. Not long after, the Doctor

"Doc, how are they?" The Doctor smiled briefly.

"B'Elanna is fine. Its a girl, by the way."

"And Tom?" Kathryn asked. The doctor's smile faded. Kathryn sank back into the chair. "How bad is he?"

"He suffered severe head injuries. He's very lucky to be alive, Captain. There is a lot of brain damage, but he will live, although he won't be the Tom Paris we knew." Kathryn felt as though the wind had been knocked out of her.

"Will he.......even know me?"

"I can't know that for sure until he wakes up."

"When will that be?"

"Its hard to say. He could come out of this in an hour and be perfectly fine, or......" The doctor couldn't finish his sentence. Kathryn understood what he wasn't saying. Tom may not come out of this.
Tears streamed down her cheeks as she searched for something to say. Not a word came as Chakotay hugged her tightly. Kathryn began to sob.

"He'll be all right, Kathryn, I promise," Chakotay whispered to her. "He's a tough man, and he'll make it through this." Kathryn blacked out.



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"Dad," Easton asked her father when he set her down on the couch. "Do you remember anything from before the accident?" Tom stared blankly at her. Easton sighed. "Mom is going to take you for a walk in a few minutes."

"Mom," he said, sounding like a small child learning to speak. "Mean."

"Mom's not mean. She just misses you how you were." Naomi had said 'Kathryn, no.' Tom had been repeating. "Dad, do you want to come play in my room, or go for a walk?" Tom smiled innocently and looked towards Easton and Naomi's room. Kathryn watched the two tread off to the back of the cabin.

"Kathryn," Naomi called. "He's still Tom. Stubborn, funny and he loves you. You've got to treat him like he was never hurt. After Mom and Neelix died, if you and Tom hadn't been there for me, I don't even know how I would have made it. Do you know what you did that made me feel like I had a family again?"

"What?" she choked out.

"Remember the first time you punished me for sneaking out at 0300 hours over to the Doctors? I think I was 7. You and Tom were asleep and I couldn't stop thinking about Mom and Neelix, and I wanted to talk to someone. Because of some anomaly or other, the comm system was down and you didn't know where I was when you woke up at 0600 hours. You were worried that I had been taken by Culluh or something. You told me that just because things changed a lot doesn't mean I can let it effect my judgment and that it wasn't an excuse to do something that may hurt others...and worrying hurts." Kathryn smiled lightly.

"Maybe I am being too hard on Easton."

"Or too easy with Tom. You've been treating him like Gene. Did you hear him a minute ago? He called you 'Mom,' Kathryn."


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Easton ran past the living room. "I'm going out to play, Mom!" she called. Gene followed in hot pursuit

"Goin' out to play, Mom!" he echoed. Tom ran past next.

"Goin' play, Mom!" He yelled as he passed the door. Kathryn jumped up and called the three back.

"HOLD IT!" They all stopped. "Turn." At once the three slowly turned and faced Kathryn. They looked at her pleadingly. "You, get your hat," she said to Easton. "You, get your scarf," she said to Gene. "And you, go get your coat, hat, scarf, and boots." The three scattered. After a moment, they stood for inspection.

"Wanna come out with us, Mom?" Easton asked. "We're gonna show Dad the snow fort with Chayton and Chakotay."

"No, you three have fun. I'm going to stay with Erin."

"Bye, Mom!" Easton said kissing her mother's cheek.

"Bye Momma!" Gene squealed, giving her a hug.

"Bye Kathryn," Tom said, kissing her deeply. He stepped back, as if he wasn't sure why he'd done that. Kathryn's eyes welled up with tears. "Sorry?"

"No, Tom. Don't be." Kathryn let herself snuggle into his chest. "What do you remember?"

"Holding you," he said gently. "Where ship?" he asked softly of Voyager.

"It crashed 11 and a half years ago."

"Oh." Tom pulled away. "Goin' play now, Kathryn." He grinned and kissed her again. "Love you." Tom, Easton and Gene scampered out the door into the snow. Kathryn watched from the window. A year after the accident, Tom was still a child in his mind. He was an overgrown three year old father of three kids; Easton was 10, Gene was 5, and Erin, 3 months old.
Kathryn sighed. It wasn't supposed to be this way. Tom only went because of her. Had she not ordered a second shuttle, they may not have been detected by the other small ship, and they'd all be fine. B'Elanna and Sierra were fine, but Tom wasn't. He never would be. Kathryn went back to her room and looked in at Erin. She was a Tom in miniture. Every grin reminded everyone of her father. Tom Paris, father of two, was dead. His body was there, and once in a while, his soul and old personality showed, but those times were so few and far between. No one called him 'Tom' but Kathryn and Naomi. Everyone had taken to calling him Tommy. Kathryn loved Tommy, but she was in-love with Tom.
Tom was dead, and now Tommy was in his place.


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