Back to Me Again

Title: Back to Me Again
Author: Megan Faye
Rated: PG-13
Disclaimer: TPTB Owns it.....not me
Note: The is a response to the JuPiter Station's Narrative challenge by Lacadiva.


Captain's Log:
Personal

We found Tom. He'd been taken from the planet after the trial before we could get a rescue mission together. All he did was protect his crew members. The aliens took it as an act of violence towards them. I have two words I'd Like to yell towards them.........

He's not the same man who left us. Tom's spent the last 20 months on board a torture vessel. I've never seen a man so thin and still be alive. The Doctor has informed me that Tom doesn't remember too much about his past......he barely remembers his name. He should be ready to leave sickbay with in the hour; as long as he goes to his quarters to rest. Something tells me that he doesn't need to be alone right now.


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I felt butterflies in my stomach. After almost 2 years of being tortured, I'm nervous about being here. I'm scared, but there is a really strange sense of calm here. I know the place, but I can't remember. Maybe I still think I'm dreaming. It can't be a nightmare because I'm not hurting anymore. Oh my Gods. I'm dead. They've finally killed me. Damn.

"Feeling better, Mr. Paris?" I looked up. The Doc (who?) was standing over me. I screamed. He was too close. Dead or alive, I didn't want anyone to touch me ever again. "I'm sorry, but I've got to finish my scans. Please, let me come over."

"N-n-no, you'll.....h-h-hurt me," I stammered. Stuttering is something I'd picked up the last few months. I turned my body to face him so he couldn't come any closer without me seeing, and I slipped off the bed. I felt safer in the corner.
I noticed a pair of high heeled boots, and could smell soft strawberry and vanilla perfume. I would know it anywhere. When I knocked the Captain to the ground, I caught one quick smell of her hair before I got up. That's the only thing I remember from....before.

"Doctor, where is our patient?" The Doc didn't respond, but a few seconds later, she peeked into my hide away. "Tom, please come out. We're not going to hurt you." All I could do was pull my knees tighter to my chest. I didn't want to get hurt ever again. They played mind tricks on me. They showed me her face, and her dead body. I know she's alive, and this is her, but I'm scared.

"N-n-not a t-t-t-trick?"

"No, its not a trick. You're home." She reached her hand to me, but I couldn't take it. I was shaking, and I couldn't move. "Tom you have to trust me. No one here will hurt you." I reached my hand to her and she helped me up. "I take it you're hungry." I nodded. "Well, you've got 20 months worth of replicator rations saved up. You could buy a holodeck......."


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"Would you like to go back to your quarters now?" I asked him. He shook his head quickly. "We've spent the last 6 hours roaming the ship, Tom. You've got to be exhausted." Being his Captain, I could order him to go back and sleep, but I don't want to force him into anything. "I've got an idea. We'll go back to your quarters, and you can turn on that...television and show me some of your old shows," I asked. Maybe watching his television would help. I'm still cautious about telling him too much at once. So far the only person he recognized was me. He glanced at a few pictures of himself with people on board, and he didn't even remember B'Elanna after looking at their wedding pictures. Maybe its a good thing as she hurt him terribly when they got divorced. She was about 3 weeks pregnant when we went down to the planet. Miral was Tom's daughter.
We made it to his quarters and he hesitated. I noticed tears in his eyes.

"Tom, are you all right?"

"I remember you," he whispered very slowly, as if still trying to find his voice. "Every day, I h-h-hear you s-s-scream." He couldn't hold the tears back anymore, and they spilled over. I gently wiped them off his cheeks. I lead him into his quarters to sit on the couch where I held him. He silently cried in my arms.

"Tom, its all right. You're safe here, and I'm not going to let anyone hurt you," I whispered. He held tighter to me. It was getting rather late and I had duty the next morning, so I gently pushed him back on the couch so he could sleep. I didn't think his bedroom would be good; too many pictures of B'Elanna, and the divorce PADD was in there. "Sleep," I told him. He gently pulled me next to him; half way on top, and held me.

"Don't go. P-p-please." I smiled down at him and lay my head on his chest and we slept.


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I think I screamed in my sleep. Another nightmare. Kathryn was beside me, sitting on the couch, mopping the sweat from my forehead. She was whispering something to me, but the sounds and images were still fresh in my mind. I grabbed her and held her as tight as I could with out crushing her.

"Kathryn, don't leave me." I spoke as slowly as I could so I wouldn't stutter. I wanted to tell her more, but I'm still trying to learn how to talk without turning it to gibberish.

"I'm sorry I got up. I didn't know, Tom." She got up and put the rag someplace, and curled up to me again. "I was going to go back to my quarters so I could get ready for duty, but I told Commander Chakotay that I'm going to stay with you. When I came back, you were screaming." She nuzzled her head down on my chest. Somewhere in the night, we both fell back to sleep.


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I opened my eyes and looked up at Tom. He was watching me sleep. When I looked at him, he smiled warmly. I felt his hands run through my hair, but the only thing I was seeing was the calmness in his eyes. The panic was gone for the moment. I felt him kiss the top of my head earlier; I'm guessing that's what woke me up. It wasn't an 'I love you, let's hop into bed' kiss. Just a gentle 'Thank you, Kathryn' on the top of my head as I slept.

"Hi," I whispered. He mouthed hello in response. I snuggled closer to him for warmth. His stomach growled. "Hungry?" He nodded a little, so I got up and went to the replicator. "Two bagels wwith strawberry and cream cheese, one glass of milk on Lt. Paris's account." I thought he'd enjoy this little meal. "One coffee, Kathryn Janeway blend, and a cup of cherry yogurt. Cap-"

"Lt. P-p-paris's account," he said before I could finish. I felt him wrap his arms around me, and I pulled away gently. I wanted to kiss him so badly, but it was wrong. It was very wrong.

"Computer, put last order on Captain Janeway's account." He took his breakfast to the table, and looked hurt. "Tom, not yet. You need more time. Maybe one day, but its still to soon. I'd be taking advantage of you."

"N-n-no, Kathryn." He spoke quite seriously. I couldn't have anything with him until he knew about B'Elanna and the baby. He would probably want to go back to her after that. "I-i-it was you that kept me alive. I knew you'd come."

"Even after two years of looking for you?"

"I knew. I know you love me. I heard at the trial when you told.......Tuvok." He was speaking slowly again. He was reteaching himself not to stutter while confessing he heard me say how much I loved him. "I never got a chance to tell you I love you, too." He pulled me into a gentle hug. When he let go, he grinned down at me. "N-n-now, come eat."


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I could see that Miral was B'Elanna's baby. Anyone with eyes could see she was Klingon, and B'Elanna was the ONLY Klingon here. Now that I remember more about when I was here, I know we were married, and divorced only a day when I.....left.

"Boy, y-y-you didn't take l-l-long to get over me. How long did you wait? A day?" I shot at her.

"Tom, don't." Kathryn put her hand on my arm before handing me B'Elanna and Vorik's kid.

"I bet Vorik's proud," I said, feeling tears in my eyes.

"Look at her ear, Tom," B'Elanna said. I looked. She wasn't half Vulcan. "I was pregnant when you left. Tom, she's yours." I just stared at the baby. She was my daughter. Too bad she was calling Vorik Daddy.

"You're m-m-married to Vorik?"

"Yes, and he takes care of Miral like she was his own."

"S-s-stay with him, but I'm Miral's Daddy, n-n-not V-v-v-v-vorik." I took Miral into the nursery and set her down with her toys so she could play. Miral is a beautiful baby, and I can't help but love her. "BElanna, d-d-did Kathryn m-m-mourn me?"

"Every day."


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Tom stared at the television. He seemed to enjoy shows from the mid and late 1990's and 2000. Cartoons seemed to bring back the old Tom. Even his stutter was disappearing. Slowly he became more confidant. I missed his smile so much, and to have him here, and hear his laugh is almost unreal to me.

"Tom," I said after the Roadrunner cartoon ended. "I really missed you." He leaned back on the couch and pulled me to his chest. I snuggled into its warmth and touched Miral's hair as she slept on her Daddy's lap.

"I know, Kathryn. I missed you too." He kissed the top of my head. "I love you, y'know?"

"I love you too, darling." He placed his hand on my stomach, which was begining to show that a new member of the crew would arrive within a few months. Tom kissed me and lifted his four year old off to her room.

"Come to bed, Kat. Its late and you know mornings arent your favorite time....."

"I'll be along in a minute. Love you." Tom smiled and headed off to our bedroom. There was a beautiful veiw of Earth from there.

"Love you too. Both of you..."