Josh: I thought spas were supposed to be about pampering, not about starvation. Reva: Well, maybe lunch will be better. Josh: No, lunch is not going to be better. Yesterday for lunch they served us some... Some hamburger-shaped thing that tasted like cardboard, looked like a hockey puck. What was that about? Reva: Well, you know what? They are starving us to death. But think on the bright side. (With a swedish accent) "we are cleansing our bodies and minds." Josh: Don't give me that. You want greasy fried chicken right now just as much as I do. Reva: More. Josh: Okay. Reva: More.

Josh: So what's next on our agenda? Reva: I believe it was an herbal wrap. Josh: Is that like a big chicken fajita wrap, something you can eat? Reva: Hold that pipe dream thought for just one minute. Well, hi. Guru: I am here to help you connect. Josh: That wouldn't, by any chance, include connecting to a 16-ounce steak, would it? Guru: Steak? No, I do not touch red meat. Josh: Yeah, I kind of figured that was a long shot. What exactly can we do for you? Guru: It is what you can do for yourselves.

Reva: Are you sure you have the right room? Guru: You signed up for meditation, no? Reva: No. Guru: Oh...Oh, sorry. Man, the Concierge screwed up my appointments again. How am I supposed to relax and lead spiritual journeys when...I'm going back to my past life, where I am appreciated. Reva: Past life? Guru: L.A. Reva: Oh, no, no, no, no. Josh: Don't do that, don't do that. Reva: You don't really want to do that. You want to stay here with us. We want to meditate with you. It'll help us get our minds off of food. Guru: Really? Okay. Reva: Yeah.

Guru: Okay, get in... Get in the lotus position. Josh: LOL Reva: Come on, honey. Guru: Sit on the ground, cross your legs. Josh: Yeah, yeah, yeah. I got it, I'm with you. Okay. Guru: Now close your eyes and clear your minds. The path to enlightenment and inner peace is before you. Accept where it takes you. Josh: (whispers) I'm starving. Reva: (whispers) Oh, shut up. Josh: (whispers) I'm starving. Reva: (whispers) I said, shut up. Shh...

Guru: Choose a personal montra to put you in touch with yourself...to help you connect. Ohmm... Reva: Ohmm... Josh: Pizza... Pizza is very spiritual to me. Guru: Ohmm... Reva: Ohmm... Josh: Pizza... Guru: Ohmm... Josh: Pizza... Guru: Ohmm... Josh: Pizza...