[We see a message board, the school one, and Tina is looking at it. We
see what she's looking at and it appears to be a poster for a skating
contest for couples. Tina tilts her head and then walks away. We see the
playground and she walks up.]

STAN: ..Then Philip saved Terance by farting on Scott who had the knife!

KYLE: Whoa that had got to be the best episode every!

TINA: Guys?

KENNY: {What?}

TINA: Any of you interested in skating?

KYLE: Nah.

CARTMAN: That's because he has no rythum.

KYLE: Shut up Cartman!

STAN: Why do ya wana know?

TINA: See, I want to enter that skating contest. But I have no one to
skate with.

KYLE: Ah well, what ya gonna do?

TINA: I really like skating too...

CARTMAN: You do?

TINA: Yeah I do fat ass! Why do ya think I play ice hockey?

CARTMAN: Well that explains it.

[Tina walks off. We see Stark's Pond after school. We see Pip walk out
onto the ice in skates. He glides around doing pretty impressive turns
and spins. Spinning, twisting and turns. He then glides on one foot with
his arms extended and he stops and bows to no one in particular. Then we
hear clapping. Pip turns and sees Tina there.]

PIP: Oh hello Tina, I didn't know you were there.

TINA: I never knew you skated Philip!

PIP: Yes, it is very refreshing.

TINA: Have you seen the message board?

PIP: Which one? At school?

TINA: [Steps out onto the ice and skates up to him.] Yeah, they have a
contest on.

PIP: But if I do compete I'll be teased.

TINA: Well it's for couples.

PIP: Well then, there is no hope for me to enter. No one would be my
partner.

TINA: I will.

[Silence. Pip looks at Tina.]

PIP: You would?

TINA: Oh sure, we'd do great as a couple of ice skaters.

PIP: Do you really think so?

TINA: Oh for sure! We'll kick those other competitor's asses! What do
you say Philip? Team?

[She holds her hand out. Pip looks at it.]

PIP: Okay!

[They shake hands. We pan to school the next day.]

CARTMAN: You're doing it with who!?

TINA: Philip.

SHEILA: But he's a French little pansy!

TINA: Philip is not one of those! He is a very polite young English man!

SHEILA: Oooo!! Tina has a crush!

TINA: I do not!

SHEILA: I think she does!

TINA: At least I'm aloud to have one now!

KYLE: Girls girls calm down!

[Abigail comes up.]

ABIGAIL: What's going on?

CARTMAN: Tina's entered that skating contest with PIp.

ABIGAIL: Oh how wonderfully spiffing! I think you two would make a
lovely couple!

KENNY: {Oh please.}

ABIGAIL: Well I believe so anyway.

STAN: No one asked for your opinion.

TINA: Well I like it.

KYLE: Guess what guys?

SHEILA: What now?

KYLE: Debbie's coming to visit!

SHEILA: Oh please, Debbie's an annoying fat ass.

KYLE: She is not!

CARTMAN: Oh good, I haven't seen her for a while.

[Abigail looks worried. She whispers to Tina.]

ABIGAIL: Who's Debbie?

TINA: She's-

PIP: Hello Tina!

[Pip walks up.]

TINA: Hi Philip.

SHEILA: What are you doing here?

PIP: Well I'm not here to talk to you that's for sure.

[Others laugh. Sheila looks shocked, he always seems to want to talk to
her.]

PIP: Are you ready Tina?

TINA: Oh yes. Shall we?

PIP: Of course.

[Tina and Pip walk off.]

STAN: Where the hell are they off to?

ABIGIAL: I pressume they are going to practice?

SHEILA: Let's go watch!

[All leave. They follow closely and then peer around bushes at Stark's
Pond.]

ABIGAIL: Isn't it kind of rude to prive on other people?

SHEILA: Get down!

[She tugs Abigail down. They all look through the bushes and we see Pip
and Tina get onto the ice.]

TINA: Okay, which song do we skate to?

PIP: Well I'm not sure.

TINA: We have to think of something...mmmm....

PIP: Is it romantic, or rap or what?

TINA: Romantic would be nice.

[Abigail giggles to herself.]

PIP: Oh well, if it pleases you. Which song?

TINA: I dunno. One with a chick and guy singing.

PIP: We'll decide later. Now, can you do a triple axal?

TINA: Pft! With two arms tied behind my back!

[Pip and Tina both start to practice all these different types of
skating movements and so fourth while our little spies are still in the
bushes.]

CARTMAN: They're pretty good...

STAN: Yeah, who knew Tina could lift her leg that high?

KYLE: Or Pip spin so fast and so long?

SHEILA: I liked it with they linked arms and almost stood on each
other's feet! Looked like they were gonna trip!

ABIGAIL: I like it all so far. Oh Tina's spinning!

[We see Tina, leaning spinning on one foot and going pretty fast. Pip
looks impressed.]

KYLE: Wow she is good!

STAN: I guess all that time playing hockey made her spine like rubber!

[Soon Tina and Pip get ready to leave. Both are sat on a log taking
their skates off.]

PIP: That was really good wasn't it?

TINA: Hell yeah, I didn't even know you could skate.

PIP: I have many hidden talants. Archery, skating, singing...many.

TINA: Neat. I only got hockey, skating, magic and organ playing.

PIP: Jolly good. See you tomorrow Tina?

TINA: It's a date Philip.

[Both walk off their different ways. The others stand up.]

CARTMAN: It's a date?!

SHEILA: Oh please, are you jealous?

CARTMAN: No!!!

SHEILA: You have no reason to be, Tina's no longer your girlfriend.

CARTMAN: Well it pisses me off to see her with Pip.

KYLE: Everything pisses you off.

[We pan to Pip's house and he walks up to his room. He goes to the
cupboard and takes out a case. He opens it at the camera so we don't see
what's in it. He smiles. He takes out a white electric guitar, he wires
it up and puts up a stand. He starts playing pretty good, aside some few
mistakes here and there. We pan to the train station the next day,
Cartman, Kyle, Stan, Sheila, and Abigail are there.]

KYLE: The train is to come any second now.

CARTMAN: Better be, I've wasted a whole afternoon waiting.

[A train pulls up and then Debbie steps off. She has a back pack on and
her normal clothes on.]

DEBBIE: Kyle!

[She runs to Kyle and throws her arms around him and kisses him on the
cheeck, she does the same to Cartman.]

DEBBIE: I have missed you so both much!

KYLE: Yeah me too!

STAN: How's things Deb?

DEBBIE: Things are great! I am so glad to be back! I've missed this
place- [she notices Abigail.] - who the hell are you?

CARTMAN: Debbie, this is my adopted sister Abby.

ABIGAIL: Abigail.

CARTMAN: Whatever.

DEBBIE: Oh it is so nice to meet you, and this must be Sheila, nice to
finally meet you Sheila. Cartman's told me a lot about you.

SHEILA: Gee thanks.

DEBBIE: So, come on! Let's get something to eat.

KYLE: Sure!

[Debbie and Kyle walk off, and the others follow. Abigail trails
behind.]

ABIGAIL THINKING: Oh my, Kyle seems to have a friend of the female
persuasion and he gets on better with her then me!

[We pan to a week later at school, Pip and Tina look very tired. Tina is
almost asleep at her desk.]

MR GARRISON: Tina! Tina wake up!

TINA: I'm awake! I'm awake!

MR GARRISON: PIP!!

PIP: Huh? Oh Timbuckto!

MR GARRISON: Huh?

PIP: Excuse us Mr Garrison, but both I and Tina have been practising
early and after school for the skating contest.

MR GARRISON: Well try to stay awake during class okay?

BOTH: Okay.

[As soon as he turns, Tina's head falls down onto her table and Pip
falls out of his chair. All the other students look at them, Pip is now
asleep on the floor and sucking his thumb while Tina is snoring loudly.
Mr Garrison looks at them.]

MR GARRISON: Oh brother.

[We pan to later at Cartman's house, Abigail goes to the phone and rings
Kyle's. Debbie picks it up.]

DEBBIE: Hello?

ABIGAIL: Um, hello, Debera?

DEBBIE: Oh hi Abby, how are you?

ABIGAIL: Oh fine, is Kyle there?

DEBBIE: I'm sorry Abby, me and him are going to the flicks today.

ABIGAIL: You are?

DEBBIE: Yeah, we're gonna check out The Haunting, we'd ask you to come,
but...well...you know...

[She puts the phone down. Abigail looks upset. We pan to Pip's house,
him and Tina are there looking through a batch of CD's.]

TINA: Barbara Streisand?

PIP: No, too many people hate her.

TINA: Mmm...Celine Dion?

PIP: Put her on the maybe pile.

TINA: How about Tina Turner and Barry White?

PIP: We don't want people making out during our act.

TINA: Guess not.

PIP: How about Grease?

TINA: Ooo that could work. But no.

PIP: How about just to a classical song.

TINA: Yeah that would do.

[We see a few days later and both of then skating to the song, which is
on cassette on a cassette player.  Both are doing pretty good now
spinning, turning, twisting and so on. Abigail is sat on the log next to
the cassette player watching them. They finish and she claps.]

ABIGAIL: You both look lovely!

TINA: Gee thanks! I don't know what to wear though on the night.

ABIGAIL: How about that nice yellow dress of yours?

TINA: That could work! Thanks Abigail!

ABIGAIL: Tina, could we talk after?

TINA: I'm sorry Abigail, I have way too much to do! I'll chat with ya
later though okay?

ABIGAIL: Oh, okay. Bye,

[Tina walks off. Pip collects his stuff.]

ABIGAIL: Philip, what do you do when you want someone to get your
attention?

PIP: Well I used to follow Sheila around all the time. But I am too busy
to worry about her.

ABIGAIL: Why do you like her anyway?

PIP: Well I'm unsure, she just seems nice.

ABIGAIL: I'd hate to take control of your life brother, but I think you
shouldn' t bother with Sheila.

PIP: Why?

[By now both are walking down the street.]

ABIGAIL: Well...she teases you, places pinwheels up your anatomy, name
calls you and punches you.

PIP: Yes, I have notied that.

ABIGAIL: Personally, I think you could do better.

PIP: I do too. But who?

ABIGAIL: Well think brother, who never calls you names?

PIP: Mmmm...

ABIGAIL: Who has never called you a French pansy?

PIP: Oh...

ABIGAIL: Who never even calls you Pip?

PIP: Tina?

ABIGAIL: Maybe.

PIP: Oh come along now Abigail, me and Tina?

ABIGAIL: Why not? I think you two would look nice together.

PIP: You do?

ABIGAIL: Yes.

PIP: Abigail, could you keep a secret?

ABIGAIL: Okay.

PIP: Well after my skating lessons, I've been learning how to play the
electric guitar.

ABIGAIL: You?

PIP: Yes. I'm working on this particular song, that I now think may come
in useful.

ABIGAIL: Which one?

[Pip whispers in her ear.]

ABIGAIL: Oh how spiffing! I think it would do fine!

PIP: You do?

ABIGAIL: Of course! And there's that dance coming up...but I don't know
if I'll be going...

PIP: Why ever not?

ABIGAIL: Well...Kyle is spending more time with-

PIP: I'm sorry Abigail, but I have to get home, Mrs. Joe will worry.

ABIGAIL: Okay.

[Pip hurries off. Abigail sighs and keeps on walking down the street.
She then sees Kyle standing by himself. She walks by.]

KYLE: Abigail, wait up.

[He walks up to her.]

KYLE: How ya going?

ABIGAIL: Oh I'm okay.

KYLE: I haven't been seeing you a lot.

ABIGAIL: Well you're been spending more time with Debera.

KYLE: Ah well, as cousins we don't see a lot of each other.

ABIGAIL: Cousins?

KYLE: Didn't I tell you?

ABIGAIL: No.

KYLE: Well, fat asses Dad knocked up another chick. That chick turned
out to be my Ma's twin sister and soon we found out that we were cousins
and I'm Cartman's cousin once removed.

ABIGAIL: Oh my.

KYLE: Yeah, me and Debbie were together until we found out. So now we're
just good friends.

ABIGAIL: How nice.

KYLE: Uh listen...are you going to the dance next week?

ABIGAIL: Oh no. No one has asked me yet.

KYLE: Ah. Will you go with me?

[Abigail looks at him.]

ABIGAIL: Pardon?

KYLE: Will you go to the dance with me?

ABIGAIL: I'd love to!

KYLE: Killer!

[We pan to where Debbie is, she's at the shops picking up a few things.
She walks down one isle and we see Casey following her. She keeps on
walking and he keeps on following. She turns a corner and waits, Casey
turns and runs into her.]

DEBBIE: Watch it!

CASEY: Uh..uh..I'm sorry...really I am sorry!

DEBBIE: What's ya name?

CASEY: Casey.

DEBBIE: I'm Debera, Debbie or Deb for short.

CASEY: You're Kyle and Cartman's cousin aren't you?

DEBBIE: Kyle is my cousin, Cartman's my brother.

CASEY: Right right, can I tell you something?

DEBBIE: As long as it isn't sick or perveted.

CASEY: Oh no. Uh...I like you?

[Casey covers his face in defence like he expects her to hit him. She
stands there.]

DEBBIE: You like me?

CASEY: [Lowers hands.] Uh...yeah.

DEBBIE: Oh you are sweeet!

CASEY: I am?

DEBBIE: Sure! You going to that dance?

CASEY: Not yet. No girl has asked me, and I haven't found any one to go
with.

DEBBIE: I'll go with you then!

CASEY: You will!?

DEBBIE: Sure Casey!

CASEY: YES!

[We pan to Pip's house and he's practicing his guitar and Abigail is
there just helping out here and there.]

ABIGAIL: No no Philip, B flat, not sharp.

PIP: Oh bother. I'll never get that bit right.

ABIGAIL: Now come on now! You aren't going to get no where with that
attitude! Now get it right!

[Pip goes through it a couple times and he gets it right!]

ABIGAIL: There see? You done it!

[Then the phone rings, Pip picks it up.]

PIP: Allo? [Pause.] Oh hello Tina, how are you? [Pause.] Oh I'm fine.
[Longer pause.] Oh Tina, I am flattered, but I have plans that night.
[Pause.] Yes. [Pause.] Oh no you didn't bother me, not at all. [Pause.]
Well goodbye.

[He puts the phone down.]

ABIGAIL: What was all that about?

PIP: It was Tina, she asked me if I wanted to go the dance with her.

ABIGAIL: She asked you?! You were asked by her to a dance?

PIP: Yes, what's so odd about that?

ABIGAIL: She likes you! Can't you tell?

PIP: She does?

ABIGAIL: Of course! Why did you say no?

PIP: Well I do have major plans that night. Mainly plan BX/87J.

ABIGAIL: Oh yes! Sorry I forgot. You realise that she'll be terribly
upset.

PIP: She will?

ABIGAIL: Oh course!

PIP: No she won't. She's an understanding girl.

[We pan to Tina's house and she's screaming while thumping the shit out
of her pillow.]

TINA: I KNEW IT I KNEW IT!!! HE DOESN'T LIKE ME AT ALL!!!!! WHAT THE
FUCK IS WRONG WITH ME?!?! IT'S MY WEIGHT!!! I'M TOO FAT FOR HIM!!! I
KNEW IT I KNEW IT!!!!

[Pan to Pip's house again.]

ABIGAIL: Of course, you're right. She's a very head strong girl. Well
see you tomorrow Philip.

PIP: Bye.

[Abigail leaves. We now pan to the mall, Wendy, Bebe, Debbie, Shelley,
Sheila and Biddy (red haired girl) are there window shopping.]

SHEILA: I think light blue would suit me.

SHELLEY: Well I think that  a nice light pink would shuit me.

WENDY: Guys what about this?

[Wendy holds out a purple strappless dress. The other girls go 'Ooo'.]

BEBE: I like it!

WENDY: Is it me?

SHEILA: Try it on then!

[Soon the girls all have dresses on and looking at themselves in the
mirror. All look pretty good.]

BIDDY: Yep, this on for sure!

DEBBIE: Mmm...I think shoes are now needed!

WENDY: Now what do we do?

[Trumpet blare.]

ALL: Charge it!

[We pan to Tina's house, she's looking at herself in the mirror.]

TINA: You know what you are don't you? Fat! That's what! Fat, ugly and
no way able to get another boy friend in this small piss ant white bread
mountain town! If I was someone else I'd stay away from you! [There's a
knock at the door.] Come in!

[Abigial walks in.]

ABIGAIL: Today is a good day!

TINA: Why?

ABIGAIL: I'm going to the dance with Kyle!

TINA: Well nice to see one of us is happy.

ABIGAIL: Why, Tina, you've been crying! Why?

TINA: I finally got enough guts to ask Philip to the dance and he said
he had plans!

ABIGAIL: And that is supposed to mean what?

TINA: That he hates me!

ABIGAIL: Oh come along now Tina, I'm sure he doesn't hate you!

TINA: Yes he does!

ABIGAIL: Would Philip be your partnet in the ice skating contest if he
didn't like you?

TINA: That isn't the point! I wanted to show Cartman I was fine! Now I'm
not going to show up to the dance at all! I'm staying home!

ABIGAIL: Oh no don't do that!

TINA: Why? All I do is take up space, and a lot of it too!

ABIGAIL: But I want you to come.

TINA: Why?

ABIGAIL: You're my best friend that's why.

[Tina looks at Abigail. She smiles.]

TINA: Okay. I'll come. Now let's go shoppping then!

ABIGAIL: Oh joy!

[Both girls leave and go to the mall. Soon Tina has chosen a lime dress
with a split up the side, and a red shawl on. Abigail has chosen a green
dress with purple trims which is sleeveless. Both look at each other in
the mirror.]

TINA: Looking hot! Ssssssssss!

ABIGAIL: Oh let's go on the town!

[Both laugh.]

ABIGAIL: Well it is good to see you happy again Tina.

TINA: Yeah thanks, I think being at the party will let me relax and
forget stuff.

[We now pan to the dance. The whole class is there now in their nice
gowns.]

SHEILA: Man this is a cool dance huh?

CARTMAN: Sure is dude.

ABIGAIL: I am so glad you asked me to go with you Kyle.

KYLE: No worries Abigail.

STAN: Enjoying ya self Tina?

[We see Tina sat by herself on one of the fold out chairs.]

TINA: Yeah yeah fun.

WENDY: You don't look it.

TINA: Believe me, I am.

[Debbie and Casey walk up.]

CARTMAN: Hi ya sis!

DEBBIE: Hi ya bro!

SHEILA: Oh brother!

DEBBIE: Shut up Sheila.

[Sheila looks pissed.]

KYLE: Hey Abigail, is it time yet?

[Abigail looks at her watch.]

ABIGAIL: Almost.

CARTMAN: Time for what?

KENNY: {To fuck?}

STAN: Don't be so sick Kenny! Where's Kelley?

KENNY: {Getting a drink.}

ABIGAIL: No alchohol in this one is there?

CARTMAN: No.

[We see the band and it's an older group, around 19. They're pretty
good. We pan around the hall and see kids dancing and so fourth. We then
see Shelley there, she looks around the corner and smiles. Then Kevin
follows.]

SHELLEY: Gee Kevin, it wash really niche of you to take me to thish
danche.

KEVIN: No worrishe Shelley.

[Both walk into the crowd, shoving kids out of their way. Pan to Stan
and the gang having a slang (I'm a poet!).]

STAN: I still can't believe Shelley got a date.

KENNY: {Yeah, with my brother!}

STAN: That's for sure.

TINA: Hehehe.

KENNY: {What you laughing at?}

TINA: I just saw the future. Don't worry.

[Abigail looks at her watch and gasps.]

ABIGAIL: It's time Kyle!

[Abigail runs off and back stage. She meets up with Pip.]

PIP: Is she out there?

ABIGAIL: Yeah! She suspects not a thing!

PIP: Great! Go on!

[Abigail walks on stage, people quieten down.]

ABIGAIL: Excuse me, but could I have your attention please?

SOMEONE: NO!

ABIGAIL: I'm choosing to ignore that remark. Now here to preform a song
for someone he thinks is very special is a boy who you all know! Give
him a hand!

[Pip walks on stage, but he has a black hood on so you don't see his
entire face, only his mouth. People exchange looks. Pip motions for the
pianist to start playing, he starts plinking the keys to the Monkey's
song 'Girl'.]

PIP: [Singing.]
Girl, look what you've done to me.
Me, and my whole world.
Girl, you've brought the sun to me,
With your smile, and every word!

[He then motions to the band to start up with rock punk rythum.]

CARTMAN: Hey this is pretty good...

SHEILA: Wanna dance Cartman?

CARTMAN: Ay sure thing babe!

PIP: [Singing.]
I'm telling you girl,
Something unknown to me,
Makes you what you are!
And what you are,
Is all that I want for me!
And it's good to feel that way girl!

[Pip gets out his white electirc guitar and starts to play with the band
but he's still hidden. Some girls are now 'hot' for him and are at the
front of the stage sqealing like girls tend to to boy bands. ICK! We pan
to the crowd as the song contniues to play, we see Kyle and Abigail
attemping to dance, but only coliding with other students. As Cartman
said, Jews have no rythm!]

KYLE: Ow! Sorry Clyde..

ABIGAIL: Oh excuse me Biddy....OW!

PIP: [Singing.]
Thank you girl!
For making the morning brigher!
Girl!
For making the night time warmer!
Girl!
For making a better world for me!

GIRLS: IIIIEEEEEEE!!!! [etc.]

PIP: [Singing.]
I'm telling you girl,
Something unknown to me,
Makes you what you are!
And what you are,
Is all that I want for me!
And it's good to feel that way girl!

Thank you girl!
For making the winter warmer!
Girl!
For making the music softer!
Girl!
For making a better world for me!

[Pip then rips his hood off and by now everyone is dancing and they
cheer as they see who he is, he does a great guitar rif that goes on for
a while. Tina is now stood and looking at him in awe now.]

TINA: Oh my God!

PIP: [Singing.]
[He's looking directly at her now.]
And what you are,
Is all that I want for me!
And it's good to feel that way girl!

[More girls scream here.]

KYLE: That's my foot!

ABIGAIL: Sorry!

PIP: [Singing.]
Thank you girl!
Thank you girl!
THANK YOU GIRL!!!!!

[The whole hall cheers loudly and claps and hoots.]

CARTMAN: Damn man Pip is a cool guitarist man!

SHEILA: WOOO!!!! PIP IS COOL!!!!! WOOOOOO!!!!!!!

DEBBIE: Damn man who'da thought it?

CASEY: Not me that's for sure! And Kyle! Watch where you're stepping!

[Abigail walks up to Tina.]

ABIGAIL: Well? Thrilled?

TINA: Oh my God!!

ABIGAIL: Am I to take it that's a good 'Oh my God!'?

TINA: Oh my God! He likes me!! He really likes me!!

ABIGAIL: I told you! Now come on then!

[Abigail takes Tina's hand and drags her through the crowd. We see Wendy
walk up to Stan.]

WENDY: Gee Stan, that was a lovely song wasn't it?

STAN: Uh...yeah...?

WENDY: It certinly would be nice if someone sang to me like that one
day...

[Stan spews.]

WENDY: EW! Gross Stan!!

STAN: Sorry...

[We pan to back stage and Pip is standing there, Abigail comes rushing
in.]

ABIGAIL: She's coming!

PIP: Oh dear...what am I going to say?! What am I going to do?!

ABIAGIL: Just be yourself!

PIP: Easier said then done!

[Tina walks in. Pip and Tina stare at each other without saying
anything. Abigail walks out without saying anything.]

PIP: Uhhh....

TINA: Ahhhh....

PIP: Did..Did you like the song?

TINA: Oh yeah, it kicked ass.

PIP: Oh thank you...

[They stare at each other again. Tina sighs and steps foward a little.]

TINA: Thanks.

PIP: Oh it's nothing...really.

TINA: No, it isn't nothing. It's something.

PIP: Pardon?

TINA: See...no one, not even Cartman sang to me before...

PIP: Well, I do like you...

TINA: You do?

PIP: Well...yes. You do stand up for me and you are my friend.

TINA: Thanks Philip. Thanks a lot.

PIP: Do...uhh...do you like me?

[Silence again. We pan to behind a set and we see Abigail listening.]

ABIGAIL: [Quietly.] Come on Tina...tell him!

TINA: Yes. I do.

PIP: You do?

TINA: Yeah, you're polite, a gentlemen and...attractive...

PIP: I am?

TINA: Well...to me you are.

PIP: Thank you.

TINA: No worries Philip old chap.

PIP: Hehehe, you'd make a good english person.

TINA: Thanks.

[Tina stands there just twideling her fingers. Pip swallows and walks up
to her. He takes her hand and he kisses her on the cheek. Tina stares at
their hands and then at him. She smiles. They walk off screen. Abigail
cheers to herself.]

ABIGAIL: Yes! Yes!

[She looses balance and crashes into the prop. We pan back to the dance
and Kyle, even though no one is dancing with him, is still atempting
dancing, only crashing into other kids. Cartman is laughing his head
off. Tina and Pip come on.]

WENDY: Hey Pip! Great playing man! You're like a pro!!

PIP: Why thank you very much.

KELLEY: Yeah I really liked it! [picks nose]

KYLE: Tina...why praytell are you holding Pip's hand?

[Everyone mechanically looks at them.]

STAN: Yeah why?

TINA: God guys didn't you hear the lyrics of that song?!

KYLE: Yeah but what does that got to do with...[catches on] Oh! I get it
now!

[Silence.]

CARTMAN: WHAT?!?!?!?!?!?!

TINA: I told you Cartman, I am not your girlfriend any more.

SHEILA: Damn right.

TINA: I wasn't talking to you.

SHEILA: Apparantly.

PIP: But you still had to put in her two cents.

TINA: Of course.

SHEILA: Shut up Tina.

PIP: Do not tell her to shut up!

KYLE: Pip, did you just retaliate?

PIP: Oh. Guess I did!

STAN: Damn man I thought that day would never come.

BEBE: Sooo...Pip and Tina are going out now?

[Pip and Tina look at one another.]

PIP: Yes, we are.

TINA: [To Cartman.] HA!

[Cartman sulks. We pan to a few days later and most of the kids are at
Stark's Pond. We see the scamps all sat in a line.]

CARTMAN: Damn it's cold out here.

KYLE: Nuh duh fat ass we're in three feet of snow.

SHEILA: Shut up Kyle!!

KYLE: Geesh! Sorry!

WENDY: When are they gonna start?

KENNY: {Pretty soon.}

KELLEY: I can't wait! I love watching these things! [picks nose]

ABIGAIL: Kyle, how is Debera?

KYLE: Oh she's fine. She had to go home last night.

ABIGAIL: Oh that's a shame, I didn't get to say goodbye.

KYLE: It's okay.

ABIGAIL: Did you enjoy the dance?

KYLE: Yeah it kicked ass. Better without booze.

ABIGAIL: That's for sure!

SPEAKER: And now, pair number 15 Philip Pirrip and Tina Alvereze!

[People cheer, most of it comes from our little gang. Tina and Pip
appear on the side of the ice. Tina has her hair up, white skating shoes
on, a yellow dress with a green stripe around the middle. While Pip has
on black skating shoes, a red shirt with bule collar and matching blue
pants.]

TINA: Ready?

PIP: As I ever will be.

[They hold hands and skate out onto the ice. Beethoven's song that 'Bum
bum bum bummm' song starts. Both start some pretty impressive skating
movements. If I knew what they were I'd put them down, but they'd only
make sense to those skating peoples out there. So yeah, just imagine
them doing pretty professional stuff to that song. Please? Kids stay
quiet as they watch.]

KYLE: Damn man they're good.

ABIGAIL: Wish I could skate like that.

CARTMAN: You know a dead boy taught her?

ABIGAIL: Pardon?

[We pan to Pip and Tina, still doing pretty good. :) Son they finish and
everone applaudes loudly and cheers. We pan to later and the contestants
are there. Most of the people who competed are older.]

JUDGE: And now, the third place goes to...Sue Dunstan and Peter Henly!!

[Two people skate out, they take their medals, kiss {sappy!} and skate
off.]

JUDGE: And second place goes to Maria Alvereze and David Anderson!

[Maria [Tina's sister] and some other guy skate out. They take their
awards and skate off. Tina and Pip look at each other and cringe.]

JUDGE: And now, first place of South Park's Annual Skating Contest goes
too...

[There is absolute silence. A cricket chirps.]

JUDGE: Tina Alvereze and Philip Pirrip!!!

[Tina squeals loudly and Pip skates out, she follows. The scamps are
screaming loudly.]

CARTMAN: YAY TINA!!!!

ABIGAIL: HORAY FOR PHILIP AND TINA!!!!

[They take the trophey. They look at eachother.]

KYLE: Dude they're gonna smooch in front of everyone!

ABIGAIL: Oh I hope so!! My best friend and twin brother! I'm a bundle of
happiness!!!

[Tina and Pip kiss!! Yaa!! Oh sorry. Getting excited for my character.
Cartman looks completely shocked, so does Sheila.]

ABIGAIL: They did! I told you!!! Yaaa!!!

WENDY: Calm down Abigail!

ABIGAIL: Me and Tina may become Sister in laws!!!

KYLE: Okay okay you're taking it too fast now.

STAN: That's for sure!

[We pan to later and we see them all sat at Happy Burger.]

TINA: Yes! We kick major portions of ass!!!

PIP: I agree!

ABIGAIL: You two looked splendid out there! So smart and clever!

PIP: Thank you.

KENNY: {Yeah, even I was impressed!}

KELLEY: I liked it all really. [picks nose]

TINA: Thanks guys for being there. We couldn't have done it without ya.

CARTMAN: So Tina...you happy now?

TINA: Yeah I am.

CARTMAN: That's good.

TINA: At least you're happy for me Cartman, that means a lot to me.

CARTMAN: Yeah whatever.

PIP: I don't belive he is.

TINA: He's happy in his own little way.

[Cartman grunts.]

[END.]