Certain Looney Party members have noticed that the color purple is out to get them.  On these members' advice, we set up a committee to investigate the detrimental effects of purple.  The findings were startling.

Throughout history purple has plagued mankind—it can be directly connected to the fall of the Roman Empire as well as being the prominent cause for the propagation of slavery.

Purple continues to plague humanity to this day; being responsible for the Americans' blind faith in President George Bush and also persuading Prime Minister Tony Blair to go along with President George Bush's plans.  Purple has successfully brought to power many, many individuals responsible for human rights violations, and there is even reason to suspect terrorists murder under the influence of purple.  Finally, purple can be directly tied to the eventual coming to power of Greeton the Overlord of Alpha Centauri—future torturer of the peoples of Earth and the one who shall bring about humanity's destruction.

This news is startling and frightening, for sure; but, now that you have been informed of purple’s negative influence, you must speak out and make others aware.