The Little Piggie Series

by Corrinne

Part 1: "This Little Piggie Went to Market"

Jack Huey opened the refrigerator door. There was a packet of ketchup from McDonald's, half a biscuit from Popeyes, some french fries from Long John Silvers, and a little pizza. Huey turned up his nose in disgust. Along with having impeccable taste in clothing, he also had a very discriminating taste in food.

He turned and looked at his myriad of lovers. Dewey was sleeping draped across Louis, his thigh very close to Dewey's tantalizing cock. Louis had his head on Fraser's left shoulder, while Kowalski's head rested on Fraser's right shoulder, his slender fingers resting on Fraser's chest.

While Huey wanted to go back to sleep with the men he loved, he was hungry. And there was nothing to eat. Sighing, he dressed and checked his wallet for cash. Silently leaving the cabin they had rented for a few days, he slipped out the door and headed for the nearest market.

On his way to the market, he noticed that he was being followed by a great hairy bear of a man. Suddenly, he realized that it was Lt. Welsh. He stopped, and tensed as Welsh came up to him.

"I looked in the window of your cabin last night," Welsh was saying. "I thought maybe I could join you guys."

Huey froze, what would the other four think if a sixth joined them. The series of the "Little Piggies" was a teaching lesson, to teach children to count to five. If another joined what would happen? Well, maybe it could become a lesson in division.

Huey looked at Welsh. There was an unusual look in Welsh's eyes. And then, to Huey's astonishment, Welsh put his arms around him and kissed him. Oh, not just any old kiss. This was a really exciting kiss. A real guy/guy type kiss. No little peck on the cheek kind of kiss. This was a tongue in your mouth, holding your breath, and feeling your nether region stand up and go 'Oh?' kind of kiss.

Welsh patted Huey on the cheek and said, "You go on to the market. Buy lots of things to eat." He reached into his own wallet and gave Huey lots more money. "I'll just let myself into the cabin."

With a quick pinch on Huey's ass, Welsh sent him on his way, and headed toward the cabin. He had a happy smile on his face. He had always been interested in at least some of the five little piggies who had just spent such an enjoyable night together. His only regret was that he hadn't brought his own little piggie along.

Part Two: "This Little Piggie Stayed Home"

All of the little piggies had stuffed themselves on the food that Huey had brought back from the market. They sat around being stuffed and lazy. They weren't too sure about the sixth person in the room. Of course, it would make it lot easier if they wanted to break off into pairs, or trios. It's awfully hard to divide five into even numbers. Usually, to keep everyone happy, they formed two groups of two with the odd man out (chosen by drawing straws) in the middle between the two groups.

Huey sat back with a twinkle in his eye. He knew something the others didn't. Welsh had kissed him. So, while Fraser & Kowalski and Dewey & Louis were afraid that Welsh would put a damper on things, Huey was quite smug with himself. Welsh had kissed him. That meant that Welsh was a little piggie, as opposed to being something really dumb like a horse or a cow, or worse yet a gnat. Gnats were intolerable. They had really bad attitudes and were always flying in the faces of piggies, trying to make piggies see things in their own straight and narrow way. Gnats never seemed to understand that piggies just wanted to go their merry way through life being just what they were.

Finally, Dewey got up and said, "Well, guess it's time to go to work."

Louis also got up and said, "Guess so.

Ray just pouted, and Fraser looked as if he would cry. So, Huey got up, went over to Welsh, and planted on him the wettest, noisiest, sloppiest kiss that he could. The other four were astonished to see Welsh kiss back. And not only that, he squeezed Huey's ass. And the whole time they had thought that Welsh was a gnat, or at the very least a mule.

Welsh stood up and said, "Constable, do you have anything planned for today?"

Fraser was nearly speechless and could only squeak, "No, Sir. It's my day off."

Welsh looked at the remaining four piggies. "Why don't the rest of you call in sick today. Tell Miss Vecchio that you have a raging case of swine flu."

As the four Chicago cops fell over each other in a mad dash for the telephone, Welsh looked at the Canadian Mountie and said, "Did I ever tell you that you have beautiful eyes?"

Part Three: "This Little Piggie Had Roast Beef"

Several hours later all six little piggies, well maybe Welsh wasn't really quite so litttle being a big hairy bear of a guy, sat around smoking cigars and looking quite content with themselves. (it's a guy thing.)

Kowalski, who already had the only tatoo in the bunch, was asking Fraser if he could have a ring in the end of his nose. Dewey and Louis were looking at each other like a pair of love struck cows. The other piggies looked at them like they were nuts. No respectable piggie ever wanted to be a cow. Huey had a look of total satisfaction on his face and was most pleased that their number had grown to six.

Suddenly, there was a knock on the door. As no one got up to open the door, it opened by itself. And there stood yet another piggie, bringing their number to seven. Again, something very hard to divide evenly.

Turnbull stood there with another bag of groceries, a box of pots and pans, a cookbook, and his apron. Welsh rushed to the door and took him into his arms for a strong embrace and deep kiss. This then, was Welsh's own personal piggie.

Fraser looked at Turnbull in surprise and asked, "Why, Renfield, why didn't you ever tell me that you are a little piggie? We could have had such a good time." And Kowalski was not at all pleased, because the two Mounties spent way too much time together as it was working at the Consulate.

Welsh gave Fraser a look that said, "Hands off, unless I give you permission."

And the other three piggies, who were desperately trying to live down being called the 'duck boys' just snickered.

Turnbull merely blushed and breathlessly whispered, "I was worried that you wouldn't be fed well without me."

That remark sent the ducks, sorry, piggies into gales of laughter seeing how everyone had just been um fed twice, so to speak. Turnbull gave them a somewhat stern look and then noticed the mess on the table.

"Oh dear," he said, and promptly put on his apron and began cleaning up the earlier meal. He also opened the windows to air things out a bit.

Welsh relaxed into a chair and watched lovingly as his Turnbull did one of the things he did best. Turnbull was quite good at a number of things. He could cook and clean well And, of course, was very good at keeping Welsh happy in the, ahem, bedroom .. or wherever.

Turnbull soon had everything put to rights. The cabin was spotless, there were clean sheets on the matresses on the floor, and the delicious scent of beef pot roast in the oven wafted through the room.

After all had eaten their fill, and congratulated Turnbull on his excellent culinary skills, they turned their minds to just how they could work things out with seven. They discussed the possibility of someone sitting this one out and handling the video camera, but no one volunteered. And since Turnbull had missed the last session, no one wanted to leave him out this time.

They pondered over their difficulty until Kowalski had a brilliant idea. Grinning from ear to ear, showing off what everyone acknowledged was the best set of teeth in the room, he said, "Daisy chain, anyone?"

Part 4: "This Little Piggie Had None"

As no one answered the quiet knock on the door,Vecchio carefully pushed it open. The sight that greeted his eyes astonished him. There were naked men sprawled all over the small cabin. And then he noticed Turnbull washing dishes, wearing only an apron.

He crossed the room and startled poor Turnbull something awful. Turnbull acknowledged his presence with a nod of his head and Vecchio asked, "Are they all dead? Frannie called me and said that a lot of cops called in this morning with swine flu. Now, I know what the blue flu is, but I've never heard of swine flu before."

Turnbull indicated that Vecchio should keep his voice down. "They're not sick at all. They're just sleeping." All Vecchio could say was, "Oh."

Then Vecchio noticed the remains of what had to have been a wonderful meal. He didn't want to be impolite and ask, but he was awfully hungry. His mother was visiting her sister in Florida again, and Frannie hated to cook. And Stella, well, that was a thing of the past. So Vecchio was hungry, but he didn't ask.

Finally, Turnbull, who is really very sensitive about some things, noticed Vecchio's fascination with the leftovers sitting on the counter. "Have you had a beef roast lately?" he asked.

Vecchio replied, "No, I've had none."

So Turnbull took the left over roast beef, potatoes, carrots, parsnips, and gravy, and fixed Vecchio a large plate of food.

Fraser was awake by the time Vecchio had finished eating. He crossed the room to say hello to his old friend. Vecchio explained why he was at the cabin adding, "I'm glad that none of you are sick. But it was a wasted trip for me, except for the delicious meal Turnbull just fed me."

By then, everyone else was waking up. Kowalski spotted Vecchio across the room and yelled, "Hey, Ray! Gettin' any lately?"

To which Vecchio sadly replied, "No, I've had none."

Fraser and Turnbull looked at each other, and with a nod of his head, Fraser took Vecchio's face in his hands and gave him a very tender kiss. While that was going on, Turnbull was undressing Vecchio.

The ducks, sorry, piggies looked at each other and asked, "Is he a piggie, too?"

Fraser chuckled and replied, "Oh dear, yes. Vecchio and I were piggies together long before I ever met Kowalski." And with that he led Vecchio to Kowalski and asked politely (he was always polite, even saying 'please' and 'thank you' when he and Kowalski made love to each other) for Ray to kiss Ray.

The two were very hesitant, but they did as Fraser asked and kissed. Soon it was obvious to all of the little piggies that only a nuclear explosion would separate the two.

Fraser look at Turnbull, scratched both is eyebrow and his ear, ran his tongue across his bottom lip and turned to Welsh. Welsh nodded and Fraser took Turnbull off to a corner of the room and began whispering naughty things in his ear, making Turnbull blush furiously.

Huey, Dewey, and Louis decided on a threesome with Dewey in the middle. Why? Well, his name just always falls in the middle.

Welsh sat back and relaxed. He decided to sit this one out, letting the younger piggies burn up their energy. Humming happily, he gave his whatsit a gentle pat and picked up the video camera.

Part Five: "This Little Piggie Cried (What?) All the Way Home"

The next morning, the eight little piggies loaded up all of their gear into the bed of the brand spanking new GMC Sierra that they had rented for their little trip to the cabin. Now, the Sierra doesn't really seat eight full grown men, several of them at or topping 6'. So some had to sit on the laps of others, not that any of the piggies minded in the least. And Welsh, the oldest and most sensible of them all, offered to drive, leaving the rest of the little piggies the opportunity to make any last minute ... shall we say, examples of undying love and affection.

Huey had the good sense to ask when they would be going back to the cabin again. Turnbull offered to call and make the reservation and then inform all so that they could clear their schedules. Vecchio asked Turnbull if he could make lasagna. Fraser was more interested in pemmican. Kowalski wanted canadian bacon and pineapple pizza. Huey inquired as to whether Turnbull could do flaming filet of yak - peking style, something he had heard of but never eaten. Dewey and Louis were interested mainly in Chinese take out. Which Turnbull said he could prepare but they would have to take it outside to eat.

And so, the eight little piggies headed happily home. The ducks, sorry, piggies had their own apartment. Turnbull and Welsh had their own little hide away. Vecchio was a little despondent over the thought of returning home to listen to Frannie, Maria, and Tony bicker at each other. Kowalski smiled at Fraser and asked if Vecchio couldn't stay with them just a little while, please.

Meanwhile, back at the cabin:

Volpe and Zuko had waited impatiently as the eight little piggies vacated the cabin.

"We got it for how long?" Zuko asked.

"Three days," was Volpe's reply.

The two looked at each other. With the little piggies gone, it was time for the big bad wolves to enjoy themselves.