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She shook her head and licked her suddenly dry lips. "Nothing. I - um - was just drifting off there for a minute." Her voice sounded like someone recuperating from a case of laryngitis. She smiled with false brightness and slid an arm around his waist. "Let's go home."
They paused at the door while Peter searched for the right key to open the lock. "I'm glad Mom and the girls did some grocery shopping," he chattered as he entered the apartment. "Otherwise we wouldn't have anything but sour milk..." He broke off abruptly as he realized he'd walked in alone.
He turned to look behind him, and saw Kacie standing at the doorway, trembling visibly, unable to step foot inside.
He moved quickly to her side. "Sweetheart, are you all right? What's wrong?"
She lifted panic-stricken eyes to him. "What if he's in there? Like before? What if someone is in there?"
"Kacie, there's nobody here."
"How do you know that for sure?" Her voice rose shrilly, and she clutched at his arms. "Did you look? How do you know?"
He gently held her face in both his hands. "Honey, listen to me." She fidgeted nervously at his touch, eyes still black with fear. "Listen to me," he repeated himself slowly, trying to get her to focus on his face and nothing else. "There is no one here but you, and me. There is nothing to be afraid of. I promise."
Kacie struggled to control her panic. She took a deep breath and held it, closing her eyes and nodding. She clamped her shaking hands over his. "I'm sorry, Peter," she whispered miserably. "It was just...looking in the hallway again..." She shivered. "I warned you that I was a mental case before you married me. Maybe you should have listened to me."
"Don't!" he scolded sharply, his tone harsher than he intended. "Don't you EVER talk about yourself like that to me!"
She flinched at his words, and slow tears started to form as she apologized again. "I'm sorry. I'm sorry I'm such a bother."
He pulled her close. "Sh-sh-sh. It's all right, Hon. It's all right. I didn't mean to snap at you." He patted her back and rubbed his cheek against her hair. "I just forgot it's the first time you've been back here since--" he stopped before finishing his sentence. Kissing the top of her head, he went on, "You've been through a lot, Sweetheart. Don't be so hard on yourself. Give it time. Give yourself time."
Her voice was muffled against his chest as she relaxed in his arms. "Why do you put up with me?"
"Oh, probably because I am so crazy in love with you that I can't see straight." He pressed his lips to her head and noted with relief that her trembling was easing. "Add to that the fact that you are the most beautiful woman in the world. And the smartest. And the sweetest. And the most understanding. And--"
"Enough already." She started to giggle through her tears. She sniffled before saying, "It's getting awfully deep around here." Taking hold of his hands, she stepped away from him and brought his fingers to her lips. "Be careful. Your shining armor is blinding me."
He grinned at her. "Laid it on a little too thick, huh?"
"Just a tad."
"I meant it."
"Peter Caine, you could charm the socks off the Statue of Liberty."
"Nah, I couldn't do that."
"Why not?"
"She's not wearing any socks."
Kacie smiled and offered her lips to him for a quick kiss. "I love you."
"And you know that I'm nuts about you. You ready to come home now?"
"Peter, home to me is anywhere you are." Her smile faded and she grabbed at his arms to steady herself. "Whoa, got a little dizzy there."
"Enough excitement for you today. The doctors said you needed plenty of rest. I'm putting you to bed."
She smiled up at him impishly, and he spoke again before she could say a word. "Don't you look at me like that. The doctors said 'rest'."
After two days at home, Kacie's headaches and bouts
of dizziness had all but disappeared, but Peter wore a
nearly constant worried frown. The nightmares that she
had experienced at the hospital seemed to have increased
in both frequency and intensity after she had come home.
It was hard to tell who was more drained after they
occurred. She could never remember any details, but
would wake up screaming and drenched in sweat.
Long after he would calm her down and coax her back to
sleep, he would lie awake.
Paul and Annie stopped over in the afternoon with little Katie Ann, and convinced both Peter and Kacie they needed some fresh air, persuading them to join them for an outing in the park.
Peter gave Katie a merry-go-round ride as Annie held her granddaughter firmly in her grip. Kacie had begged off, claiming she still got dizzy too easily, and Paul merely grinned and said he was too old to climb on the ride. Instead, Paul and Kacie sat across from one another at a picnic table, listening to the laughing trio and watching their fun.
Katie Ann obviously adored her Uncle Peter, and squealed with delight whenever he came near. Kacie watched them wistfully for a time, before finally commenting, "Peter is going to be a wonderful father some day."
Paul nearly asked the question that flew to the tip of his tongue. {Hold it, Paul. You know Peter well enough that if he had news like that, he'd be shouting it from the rooftops.} Instead, he replied, "Your children will be doubly blessed, because they will have someone like you for their mother."
She blushed with pleasure at his words and dropped her head shyly. "I hope so." She kept her eyes down and twisted the rings on her finger.
Paul covered her hands with his and asked with concern, "How are you doing, Kiddo?"
She shrugged. "OK, I guess. The headaches are pretty well gone, and I don't see two of everything anymore, and --"
"That's not what I'm talking about, Kacie," Paul broke in. "Peter's told us about the nightmares."
A flash of irritation crossed her face, and she shot a dirty look in Peter's direction.
"Now...don't get your Irish up at him," Paul gently reprimanded. "He's just concerned about you...like the rest of us."
"I don't like him talking about me behind my back."
"Kacie, everybody needs someone to talk to when things get too big to handle alone. Don't be upset with Peter because he's come to us with this. We love you. We want you to be well."
She pulled away her hands and rose to her feet. "So what did you all decide? What sanitarium is Peter looking to ship me off to? Are you helping him with the arrangements? Why don't you all just ship me back to Colorado? Then you wouldn't have to bother yourselves with me anymore." She started off in the direction of a small lake, turning her back on Paul and the others as she stalked away angrily.
Paul glanced in Peter's direction, and saw that his foster son had taken in the whole scene. Peter looked off after Kacie, and started heading her way. Paul waved him off and signaled that he would take care of things. Peter still looked worried, but obediently went back to playing with his niece and watching out for his mother.
Paul caught up with Kacie, and his long legs easily keeping pace with her. He walked along beside her silently.
Her strides soon slowed, and then stopped. "I don't need a babysitter," she said flatly.
"I know that," he responded calmly. "I'm not here as a babysitter. I'm here as a father. You might say I was part of the package deal when you married Peter."
She crossed her arms over her chest defiantly. "I'm fine," she snarled . "How come nobody believes me?"
Paul looked her in the eye and said softly, "Maybe because we know it's not true."
Kacie bit her lip and stared off across the lake, jiggling one leg in agitation.
"I want you to pretend for awhile that I really AM your father. And I want you to listen to me like you did to him."
She continued to stare woodenly across the water, though her face reddened and tears began to gather in her eyes.
"Kacie, Sweetheart, you have just been through one of the most terrifying experiences any woman -- any person -- can ever have. You thought you were safe in your own home, and you were suddenly confronted by an intruder. He terrorized you, he brutally attacked you, and he nearly killed you."
Tears started to slide down her cheeks, one salty drop trickling after another.
Paul put an arm around her shoulders and continued to speak in a conversational tone. "You've felt alone in all this, because the intruder was known to your husband and nearly everyone else long before they knew you. You've been frustrated, because you could see the man for what he is now, and the rest of us were too busy remembering the man that once was. Am I getting close here?" He held her a little tighter. "You could see the warning signs before any of us were ready to admit they were there. You didn't trust him, right from the start. And we -- we couldn't see it, and you feel like we helped put you in harm's way."
Kacie started to pull away from Paul's arm, but he gently tugged her back and pressed her to his chest, where she clung to him, and immediately dissolved into heart-rending sobs. Her words came out in choking breaths. "I -- was -- so -- scared." Her voice rose an octave in pitch as emotion overcame her. "God help me -- I -- was -- so -- scared!" Her entire body shook with the force of her weeping.
"I know, Baby, I know." Paul stroked her hair and rubbed her back, just as he had soothed his own daughters so many times over the years. Her pent-up emotions were released in the flood of tears, as she cried out her terror and frustrations.
Paul lost track of time as he consoled his daughter- in-law. After the tears were spent, she sagged, exhausted, in his arms.
"You sounded just like my dad," she said softly, with a residual hiccuping sob to her words. "I still miss him so much. He was so special, too."
Paul's heart swelled at the 'too', and he said softly, "You're just as much my daughter as Carolyn and Kelly are." He kissed the top of her head. "Your father must have been very proud to have a daughter like you."
Peter's voice interrupted huskily. "Am I invited, or is this a private party?" When neither Paul nor Kacie answered right away, he added hesitantly, "Um, Annie said that Katie was getting tired, and that, um..." He gestured lamely in the direction of the playground.
"Tell you what, Peter. You take over here, and I'll check on my other girls."
Paul started to hand Kacie over to Peter's care, when she abruptly hugged him fiercely. Reaching up on tiptoe, she kissed a weathered cheek and murmured softly, "Thanks, Dad."
He chucked her under the chin gently. "Any time, Baby. Any time." He shared a look with Peter and winked reassuringly. "Here you go, Son. I believe this belongs to you."
As Peter gathered his wife into his arms, Kacie responded, "Heart and soul. Mind and body."
Paul chuckled as he walked away. "As if that's news to anybody."
"You two were gone a long time," Peter observed with loving concern. "You all right, Honey?"
"I'm getting there," she answered truthfully. "I'm getting there."