Part 20
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"They just stabilized him enough to take him to surgery. It's touch and go at this point. Caine and Kacie are up in the surgical observation room." Kermit's voice was devoid of emotion, his face expressionless behind his green sunglasses.
"What happened out there?" demanded Strenlich. "This was supposed to be a routine stakeout. What the hell happened?"
"We kept watch for better than four hours," Skalany reported. "We saw only two suspects in that whole time. The deal started going down, and Jody and I called Peter and Kermit to help us close in."
"That's when the shooting started," Jody added. "Mary Margaret and I took cover at our end of the alley and returned fire."
"Peter was covering me while we headed up from our side." Kermit's voice was tight and filled with self-derision. "I got careless and proceeded too quickly. A third guy was hiding on the fire escape and had me dead in his sights. Peter yelled a warning to me, and stood up to draw the fire away from me. He got hit before I could do anything." He caught his breath raggedly. "It's my fault." The muscles at the corners of his jaw twitched spasmodically. "I should be the one with a hole in my chest, not Peter."
He stopped short at the sight of Annie's pale face. He swallowed audibly and gritted out through clenched teeth. "Annie, I am so sorry. I promised Paul and you..."
"Peter loves you like a brother, Kermit." Annie's voice caught as she quoted, "Greater love hath no man than to lay down his life for a friend."
"He shouldn't have done it!" Kermit turned away and slammed his palm against the wall. "Hell, he shouldn't have had to do it. As many fire fights as I've been through? This was supposed to be a walk in the park, and I treated it like one. I was careless, overconfident. Stupid, fucking, rookie mistake!"
"Kermit, you can't blame yourself for this," admonished Simms, concern apparent in her eyes. "These things happen."
"That's right, Kermit." Jody spoke with more assurance than she felt. "Don't be so quick to give up on Peter. He's come through some pretty tough times before."
"Excuse me," a male voice interrupted. "Are you here for Peter Caine?"
Heads swiveled in the direction of an orderly self-consciously holding a plastic bag. "These are Detective Caine's personal effects."
"I'm his mother." Annie held out a trembling hand. "I'll hold them until--" Her voice faltered. "--Until he asks for them."
The orderly placed the bag in her hand and quickly excused himself.
Kermit took one look at the contents and closed his mouth with a snap, spinning on his heel and abruptly walking away without a word.
Annie absently fingered the objects in the bag. "What's this?" she asked as she felt a small square box.
Mary Margaret took the bag from Annie and opened it. The box itself was still tacky with Peter's blood, and the gore stained her fingers as she opened the little cubicle. "My God, it's an engagement ring!"
Caine and Kacie sat wordlessly in the observation room, watching the drama below them unfold. The intercom was on and they were able to hear and see everything that was being done. Kacie unconsciously reached for Caine's hand as the surgeon made his first incision.
"The left lower lung was punctured by the bullet. Collapsed lung," McClanahan announced. He spoke as if a group of medical students were watching the surgery, describing every movement, every instrument.
The lump thickened in Kacie's throat as she understood the lecture was for her benefit. "Thank you, doctor," she whispered to herself.
"The bullet took a downward course through the chest cavity. After seeing the entrance wound, I thought there'd be some heart damage, but we got lucky on that one. Suction." The surgeon's movements were swift, sure, and steady. He and his assistants worked as one, each anticipating the other's actions and having the necessary instruments ready.
An alarm sounded; one of the monitors showed a flat line. Kacie rose out of her seat and pressed both hands against the window glass, as if attempting to push her way through to the other side.
Caine's eyes widened, but he remained motionless.
The surgical team below was unhurried and calm. Appropriate medications were fed through tubes or injected with syringes; dials were twisted. In a matter of seconds the alarms stopped ringing and the tenseness eased, as the anesthesiologist announced, "BP 140 over 80, pulse 80, normal sinus rhythm."
McClanahan flicked an upward glance at the nurse and the father and nodded reassuringly. "OK, people, back to work here."
Kacie's knees suddenly buckled, and Caine guided her back down to her seat, keeping a strong arm about her shoulders. Shaking, she leaned against him, but her eyes never left the scene below.
"Got some liver damage here," the doctor continued conversationally. "Clamp off that bleeder and let's see what else we've got." Instruments clicked and monitors beeped a steady rhythm.
A nurse leaned over and wiped the sweat beading on the doctor's brow. The perspiration was the only sign of the man's exertion; his manner and movements were swift and sure.
"Found the bullet," McClanahan grunted. "There it is. Lodged in the muscle behind the liver. Just missed the renal vein. Got it." Metal clanked against metal as the invading bullet was dropped distastefully in a basin. "Get that bleeder tied off. More suction. Make sure we've got all the internal bleeding. How's he doing, John?"
"He's been under five hours now. Levels are starting to go up. You about done?"
The surgeon checked his work. "I'm ready to close."
The heart monitor screamed a warning as the line went flat. Caine and Kacie rose to their feet as one, staring in horror as the line stayed flat and the alarm's keening wail went on and on.
The group in the waiting room had grown by two as Kelly and Carolyn huddled together with Annie, all trying to be brave for one another.
Carolyn took one look at the jeweler's box in Annie's hands and burst into tears. When able to control herself, she sniffled, "Peter took me out to lunch a week ago and told me he had something he wanted me to help him with. We ended up at Brodkey's, and he asked me to help him pick out a ring. Kacie and I wear the same ring size, and he wanted me to help him size this one. I'd have told you, Mom, but he swore me to secrecy. He wanted to surprise everyone." Her face twisted. "I told him it was about time he proposed, and that I was going to do it for him if he didn't hurry up."
Kermit had returned from his self-imposed exile and paced like a caged tiger, rubbing the back of his stiff neck. "It's been hours," he complained tersely. "Why hasn't anyone been here to tell us anything?"
There was a quiet whoosh of an elevator door opening, and Dr. McClanahan stepped out side-by-side with Caine. The two men walked slowly down the hallway, engrossed in conversation.
The waiting group was able to tell very little from the sphinx-like expression on Caine's face, and the doctor was well rehearsed in schooling his features to reveal nothing. Concerned loved ones stared numbly at the pair, waiting breathlessly for a reason to hope.
"My son has survived the surgery," Caine announced, and muffled cries of relief erupted.
"How is he?" Skalany stepped to Caine's side and linked her arm with his.
"Peter made it through the surgery, but went into full cardiac arrest just as we were finishing up," Dr. McClanahan announced gravely. "We were able to revive him, but he's very weak from shock and blood loss. There was some liver damage, but nothing too severe. The bullet punctured a lung, causing it to collapse, so we have him on a ventilator. We've given him Pavulon to induce a coma to lessen the strain on his system. His condition is critical, but he's stable for now."
"Kacie? Are you here?" Annie asked, reaching out her hand uncertainly.
"Kacie is with Peter in the recovery room," Caine told them. "She was very...determined...to stay with him."
McClanahan snorted. "Determined, hell. Short of calling out a SWAT team, there was no way to get her out of there."
"Can I see him, Doctor?" asked Annie. "I'm only his foster mother, but..."
"She is his mother in every sense of the word," corrected Caine. "The only mother he has ever known."
"I'll allow you and Caine to see him yet tonight," conceded the doctor. "I'm sorry, but the rest of you will have to wait until sometime tomorrow. His condition is very guarded, and I don't want any undue excitement for him."
Kermit wanted a more definite answer. "He will make it, won't he, doctor?" The skin was taut against his cheekbones, and his facial muscles twitched.
"That's difficult to say at this time," the doctor answered slowly. "He's young. He's strong. He's in the best trauma hospital in this part of the country." He sighed and shrugged his shoulders. "The next twenty-four hours will tell the story. It...might be a good idea to make sure you have notified all the next of kin, in case it becomes necessary for an emergency contact."
Jody blanched. "You mean he still might die?"
"I mean nothing more than that you all should be prepared for any eventuality. I don't believe in holding out false hope, but neither do I believe in scaring the hell out of people." His words were brusque, though not unkindly spoken.
"Let's go home, people," Simms directed. "There's nothing more we can do here tonight." She laid a hand on Caine's arm. "You will call us if there is some change?"
"I will." He bowed his head toward her. He looked around at them all, Peter's other family. "Thank you all for your concern for my son." His voice cracked. "I am certain that, with the love you carry in your hearts for him, he will recover."
All except Annie started to leave, when Caine noticed Kermit off in a corner alone, visibly fighting to control his emotions. The priest walked over to the man and faced him. "Kermit, you must not blame yourself for this."
"Sure I can." Kermit's words were harsh and bitter. "He was in the clear. He was safe. He made himself a target to save me."
"Would you have done any less for him?" Caine asked softly.
"I promised Paul I'd look out for him. I promised him. I promised!" Pulling back a fist he drove his fist toward the wall, where it was abruptly stopped and held in a grasp of iron.
"To injure yourself in your rage would be of use to no one," Caine chided gently.
Annie came to them and touched Kermit's shoulder with her hand, tracing a path to his face, where she cupped his cheek in her hand. "Kermit, don't do this to yourself. Paul wouldn't want to see you like this any more than Peter. You've been a good friend to Peter and to our whole family, and when Paul--" She hesitated briefly. "--When Paul comes back, I intend to tell him so."
"You must get some rest," Caine advised. "Come. Peter needs your strength, as do we all." He reached up his hand and gripped Kermit's shoulder, gently shaking him.
Kermit backed away from the comfort that Caine and Annie offered. As he walked away, Caine heard him mutter, "My fault. All my fault. It's time for the falcon to return to its nest."
Caine cocked his head and stared after Kermit's retreating back before shrugging and taking Annie's arm. "Come. Let us go to our son."
The ICU nurses had given up trying to get her to leave, and when McClanahan stopped in to check his patient, he was struck by the adamant way she held her ground with him, too.
"Call security," she said simply. "And then they better have the handcuffs waiting, because if they take me out, I'll only come right back in. I'm not leaving him. You'll have to arrest me for trespassing and lock me up. Otherwise I'm not leaving." She never took her eyes off Peter's face or let go of his hand.
"All right," the doctor agreed reluctantly. "But you're here strictly as a courtesy, and you are not to get involved in the treatment of this patient in any way, shape, or form. He needs anything, anything at all, you call someone officially on duty. Is that clear?"
"Yes, doctor."
"If I hear that you have interfered in any way..."
"No, doctor."
He started to leave when she stopped him. "Doctor?"
Pausing, he turned to stare at her, and she turned her head to look at him briefly. "Thank you for being such a wonderful surgeon."
"Just doing my job." He sniffed and cleared his throat as he walked out the door.
When Caine and Annie entered the room, Kacie was still holding Peter's hand and speaking to him calmly.
"Sweetie, are you all right?" Annie asked in concern, slipping an arm around the slender shoulders.
"I'm fine," the girl answered automatically, unable to take her eyes off Peter's face and unwilling to relinquish her hold on his hand.
"How does he look?" Annie asked. {At times like this, I don't know whether to feel blessed or cursed that I can't see.}
"He is very pale," Caine told her. "But he does not seem to be in any pain."
"He's not." Kacie's voice was flat. "With the Pavulon he's been given, he's not suffering."
"Can he hear us?" Annie questioned.
"There's no real proof," Kacie answered mechanically. "A lot of doctors think that people in a coma can hear when someone talks to them."
"Then I'm going to believe that, too. Where's his head? Is there anything I shouldn't touch?"
Kacie took Annie's hand and guided it to Peter's face.
"Peter, it's me, Mom." Annie tenderly stroked his cheek and continued in a shaky voice. "This is quite a scare you've given us all tonight, and when you're well again, I intend to have a long talk with you, young man." The face beneath her hand felt cold to her touch, and she struggled to keep her voice from breaking. "I love you, Sweetie. You rest now, and I'll be back to see you later."
She moved aside, and Caine took her place. Laying a gentle hand on Peter's forehead, he traced a path down the side of Peter's face with the backs of his work-worn fingers before cupping his son's cheek in a lingering caress. "I am here, my son. I will stay close by."
"Kacie, is there anything we can get for you?" Annie asked softly.
"No. I'm fine."
"You are not...fine," Caine gently corrected. "You have not released your feelings."
"I'm fine. As long as I can be with Peter, I'm fine."
"We will honor your wishes. We will be outside if you need us."
Kacie ignored him, simply staring at Peter and softly stroking his brow. "Did you hear that, Peter? Your father and Annie were here, and they'll be back later. They love you, Sweetheart, just like I do."
Caine and Annie left the room and sat quietly together in a small waiting area. Caine was able to see through the window into Peter's room, and watched Kacie with concern in his eyes. {She is making herself ill, even as she gives her strength to my son.} He held Annie's hand as the night hours ticked away, waiting for their next allowed trip into the ICU.
Time ceased to exist as anything measurable for Kacie as she sat next to Peter hour after hour. Nurses came and went, and McClanahan stopped in several times. She answered any questions automatically, their words meaningless. The only reality that existed was the hand in hers, the heart that continued to beat, and the chest that rose and fell with the regularity of the respirator.
She spoke to him constantly, talking of a variety of subjects: work, their dates, some of their more heated arguments. Interspersed through them all she kept telling him. "I love you, Peter Caine. I love you more than life itself. You can't leave me; you can't. I won't let you. Do you hear me? I won't let you go. Not now, not ever. You are my life, and I love you."
Different members of the family came and went, as did friends from the precinct. Kacie ignored them all and concentrated her energy on Peter, refusing to leave his side, her answer to every question a simple, "I'm fine."
Caine offered to trade places with Kacie several times, trying to get her to rest or get something to eat, but she adamantly refused each time. "I won't leave him, and you can't make me. I'm fine."
McClanahan walked in for his last rounds of the day and stared sharply at Kacie. Her face was gray and her eyes red-rimmed with exhaustion. She spoke to Peter in a voice grown hoarse. "I love you, Peter. If you haven't heard anything else I've been saying, hear this: I love you."
The doctor strode back through the door to the nurse's station and snapped, "How long has she been looking like this?"
The nurses looked at him blankly. "We hadn't noticed, Doctor. We go in and check the patient, she ignores us, and we leave again. Is there a problem?"
He stifled an oath. "That young woman in there is on the verge of a collapse. Get a private room ready because in two minutes she's being admitted." Spinning on his heel, he turned and walked back into the unit.
The doctor scanned the various monitors carefully, making notations on the chart the hung from the foot of the bed. Putting the stethoscope in his ears, he listened carefully to Peter's lungs and heart. After adding a few more notations, he moved over to Kacie and spoke to her gently. "Kacie. Kacie. Look at me."
She ignored him and continued to talk to the still form on the bed.
The doctor moved around to face her, taking her chin in his hand to force her to look at him. "Kacie, listen to me. Do you understand what I'm saying to you?"
Dark circles bagged under her eyes, and lines of fatigue etched her features. "I'm fine."
He took her by the arms and forcibly lifted her up from the chair. "Kacie, listen to me. I'm going to..."
As soon as she lost her hold on Peter's hand, she struggled in the doctor's grip. "No. No," she whimpered. "Don't make me leave him. Don't! " Her legs refused to support her, and she went down.
"It's all right, Kacie. He's going to be fine. It's all right; he'll be all right."
"Don't make me leave him," she pleaded, tears flooding eyes that had been dry up until now. "I can't lose him. I...can't!" Sobs shook her body as she crumpled to the floor. "I can't...do it...again. I can't...lose...one...more. I...can't...do...it!"
The doctor lifted her easily and carried her from the room as she wept hysterically.
Caine rose to his feet. "My son?" He asked hoarsely. "My son..."
"...will be fine," the doctor finished for him. "Right now I'm more concerned about Kacie." An intern appeared from nowhere with a gurney, and McClanahan laid her on it.
She struggled with the doctor, swinging at his chest and face with her fists. "Let me go to him. Let me go!"
Caine placed a hand on either side of Kacie's head and gently applied pressure to her temples. Her struggles ceased, and she immediately relaxed, her unrestrained sobs diminishing to the hiccuping of an exhausted child.
"What did you do to her?" McClanahan asked in alarm.
"She will sleep now. She is unharmed." Caine stroked the sweaty face tenderly before leaning over to plant a kiss on her forehead. "Where will you take her?"
"There is a building ell across the walkway called the Gates Center. She'll be in a private room over there as soon as we get her settled. Do you want to come with me?"
"What about my son?"
"I'm having him moved to a place called a step-down room. It's not quite the same as a regular room, but not as intense as ICU. In a few hours, I plan to bring him out of his coma and see how soon he can be weaned from the ventilator."
"I will come with you now. She is as a daughter to me, and my son would want me to see that she is well cared for."