Hello. This is a story my friend, Wendy Buchholz and I, Stephanie Meyer, wrote while incredibly bored. It is a what if Voyager's characters were thrown into a different television
series kinda thing. Let us know what you think. Send comments to: a1108@hotmail.com

Disclaimer: This story is meant for amusement only. Paramount/Viacom own the characters. Whoever has the rights to the Brady Bunch owns that idea. Some dialogue comes
directly from several Voyager episodes, and some of the dialogue and situations come directly from the Brady Bunch movie. This was not meant for profit.

A Very Brady Voyager

As a mysterious virus rages through Voyager, the ship transforms into a late 1960's suburban house somewhere in California. The crew begins to exhibit strange
behavior patterns as the doctor races to find a cure.

Theme song (To the tune of The Brady Bunch)

Here's a story of Chokatey
Who was leading a merry rebel cell.
Yes, they were shooting at Cardassians,
Things were not all well.

Here's a story of Captain Janeway
Who was searching for this rebel cell.
These rebels, the haaad her Vulcan
Who had disappeared as well.

Until one day when this lady meet this fella,
And they knew it was much more than a hunch
That this group could somehow form a crew,
That's how we became the Voyager Bunch.

The Voyager Bunch. The Voyager Bunch.
That's how we became the Voyager Bunch.

ACT ONE

[The players are as follows: Janeway as Carol, Chokatey as Mike, Tom as Greg, Tuvok as Peter, Harry as Bobby, Seven of Nine as Marsha, B'elanna as Jan, Kes as Cindy,
Nelix as Alice, and The Doctor is simply confused.]

[Time: Early morning, the children are awake and prepare for school. Focus on B'elanna. She is wearing an A-line, powder blue, flowered dress and black, platform
go-go boots.]

B'elanna pounds on the bathroom door and calls in a whiny voice: Seven, other people need to use the head, too!

[See Seven brushing long, straight blonde hair. She is wearing a Peter Pan blouse, a pink mini skirt, white knee socks, and platform shoes.]

Seven (while counting strokes of the brush): Complaining is futile.

[Seven exits the bathroom, still brushing her hair. B'elanna enters the bathroom. Seven spies a pair of knee socks lying on B'elanna's bed and picks them up, examining
them. B'elanna exits bathroom and sees seven holding the socks.]

B'elanna: Seven, those are mine.

Seven (sweetly): I don't think so, B'elanna. See the embroidered 'S' on the toe? Besides, Nelix put them in my pile this morning.

[B'elanna pouts. Seven exits the room while B'elanna makes a sour face.]

B'elanna (to audience): It's not fair. Seven always gets what she wants. She never has to prove herself, has the knowledge of thousands of species, looks good in form fitting
clothes, and Mommy likes her best.

[Seven's voice floats up from the downstairs]

Seven: Tom, Tuvok, Harry, Kes, B'elanna, breakfast is ready.

B'elanna (stomping her foot and yelling): Seven, Seven, Seven!

[At breakfast, the senior staff is all seated while Nelix, dress as Alice, including the apron only the ensemble is purple, serves everyone bacon, eggs, pancakes, and
orange juice. Here we see the rest of the family. Kes is wearing a Gretel-like red and blue dress, mary janes, lacy socks, and red and blue hair ribbons. Tom is wearing
bellbottom jeans, a bright flowered shirt, and a fringed vest. Tuvok is wearing brown polyester bell bottoms, and a brown and apricot v-neck, wide collar shirt. Harry is
wearing plain bell bottoms and a white shirt. Janeway is wearing a yellow polyester pants suit. Chokatey is wearing a blue leisure suit with bell bottoms. Tom is sitting
backwards in his chair talking to Kes.]

Tom: Kes, did you do something different to your hair?

Kes (lisping): No, it'iths althwayths been the sthame.

Tuvok: The question is illogical, Tom. She has always been in curls.

Janeway: Boys, stop teasing your sister.

Tuvok: Golly, Mom, we weren't teasing her.

[Chokatey lowers the newspaper he has been reading and looks at Tuvok and Tom.]

Chokatey: Boys, listen to your mother. (To Harry) Harry, did you finish your Ops report?

Harry (glumly): Yes, sir. I hate spacial anomalies.

[The children finish eating and line up by rank by the door as Nelix hands them their lunches as he and Janeway see them off to school.


The Doctor appears as this is happening but is unseen. He is both confused and alarmed. He then returns to work on the antidote.]

ACT TWO

[As school lets out, Tom, his arms draped around two girls with three more following him like lost puppies and admiring the aft view of his studly exterior, heads for the
parking lot to where Seven waits at their car. She too is surrounded by a herd of admirers. When Tom appears, they begin to flirt with each other. B'elanna,
approaching the car, sees this and stops, stomping her foot and begins to yell.]

B'elanna: Seven, Seven, Seven!

[The children then go and pick up Tuvok, Harry, and Kes. At home, while the boys are playing football in the yard, B'elanna joins the game because of her love for
contact sports (and her love of physical contact with Tom). Seven is watching the game, helping Kes tie the ribbons in her braids. B'elanna catches the ball and Tom
tackles her. Suddenly overcome by some primal urge, B'elanna bits Tom on the check.]

Tom: B'elanna! You bit me!

[Seven rushes over to examine Tom's injury. Overwhelmed with jealousy, B'elanna tackles Seven, slamming Seven's face into the ground.]

B'elanna(screaming): HE is MY mate, not yours!

[Confused by B'elanna's action, Tuvok separates the two girls, restraining B'elanna and ushers her toward the house. Tom helps Seven into the house. Harry and Kes rush
pass their siblings, open the door and yell]: MOMMY!

[Seven sees her swollen nose and is inconsolable.]

Seven: Now I'll never be Starfleet pin up of the month!

Janeway(stroking Seven's head, comforting her): B'elanna, what possessed you to tackle your sister?

[Chokatey puts his arm around B'elanna in a protective gesture.]

Chokatey: Now we don't have the whole story, honey. Let's let B'elanna explain.

B'elanna: She always gets everything I want. Besides, that's what the voice in my head said to do.

Chokatey: You mean your spirit guide?

B'elanna ( deceptively): Um, Yes Daddy, that's it!

Janeway (skeptically): Then what happened to Tom?

Tom (deadpan): She bit me.

Chokatey (looking at Janeway almost horrified): She bit you?

B'elanna (crossing her fingers): It's not my fault his check got caught in my teeth when he tackled me.

Janeway: He tackled you?

Tom: We were playing football.

[Janeway and Chokatey look relieved. Suddenly, Nelix appears in the doorway leading to the kitchen, and calls]: If you don't come to the table now, you'll have to sing for
your supper.

[They then burst into song.]

All: I think I'll go for a walk outside now. The summer sun's calling my name..............

[The Doctor appears. The son abruptly end.]

Kes: Mommy, who iths that bald man? (She points at The Doctor.)

Janeway: Kes, honey, it's not nice to call people bald. And don't point.

Doctor: They're worse than I thought! Computer, administer antidote now via the air filtration system and play something by The Rolling Stones!

[As "Satisfaction" blasts through the room, the crew slowly returns to normal. B'elanna, recovered, looks down to see her clothing. She is horrified.]

B'elanna: What in the hell..........?!

[The entire staff looks confused. The Doctor sighs in relief.]

Doctor: Thank goodness you're cured. If this didn't work, my blood sugar levels would have overloaded. (He purposely looks at B'elanna.)

[The senior staff exchange confused looks. Fade Out.]