By stephanie meyer

I don't own them. I don't claim to. It's just for fun.
 

She turned away form the lips that sought hers. It didn't matter. She
scrambled into her clothes as soon as it
was over. She was numb. It didn't matter anymore. She left the room. In the
lobby, she stood in font of the
picture window, staring vacantly. It didn't matter. She'd never find them.
Even if she did, it wouldn't matter.
With more determination than she'd felt in the last eight months, she backed
away from the window, and then
threw herself through it. As she fell, she cursed herself. She should have
gone up four more floors.

He looked up as the gurney rolled in. "What have we got?"

"Second floor jumper at Caesar's palace. Right through the window. Fading in
and out of conciseness.
Multiple lacerations. Abdominal trauma. BP’s up. Two units in, but she's
bleeding out."

He took hold of the backboard. "All right people, on my mark. One, two,
three." The paramedics headed out.
"Did you get any id?"

"Nope."

"Let's see if we can hold her together long enough to get her into surgery."

"Dr. Kronk, she's waking up."

Billy leaned over her, not really looking at her. "Ma'am can you hear me?'
He put a hand in hers. "Squeeze my
hand if you can hear me." He felt a feeble pressure. "You're in a hospital.
You're going to be fine." While
another doc found were she was bleeding out from, he moved to check her
pupils. He pushed back her hair
and froze. "Jesus Christ."

The eyes that stared back at him were full of pain. Then they drifted shut
again.

He recovered his voice. "Damnit, don't you die on me!" He turned to the rest
of the team. "Let's get her
upstairs. I'm taking her in." He turned to a nurse. "Call Caesar's palace.
Get them to page Phillip Watters or any
doctor form Chicago Hope. Get their ass here now. Call my nanny and tell her
to bring my daughter here now."

Billy had been in surgery three hours. "How's she doing?"

"So far so good."

"You hear that, baby doll? You're doing great. Hang in there."

"Dr. Kronk," the or nurse called, "You're nanny's on line one."

"Put her on intercom."

"Dr. Kronk?"

"Nancy, put Emily on." He heard his daughter's babbling. "Baby girl, can you
say a word for daddy?'

"Kitty."

"Can you say the new word we learned yesterday?"

Mommy.

."

"Good girl. Nancy, there should be some docs from Chicago Hope floating
around here somewhere. Wilkes,
Hancock, McNiel, Shutt, Austin, Catera, Watters, any of them you can leaves
her with."

"Yes Dr. Kronk."

Billy continued talking to his patient. "Did you hear her? Come on, Diane,
you're daughter's asking for you.
Don't let her go."

Another tow hours had passed before the intercom in the observation lounge
was activated. "Billy?"

He glanced up. "Phillip. Is Emily with you?"

"Yes, Lisa has her now. What's going on?"

"You tell me. She did a swan dive out of a second story window. Any clues?"

"Billy..."

"Is Jack up there?"

"Yes."

"Tell him to scrub in quick. I can't keep her under much longer and I want
her to be able to move her hands and
feet again."

Billy and Jack left the or and watched Diane being wheeled into post op.
Jack confronted him. "Where have
you been?"

Billy pulled his mask down. "Don't start now. I jut spent eight hours
putting my wife's guts back together. I
don't need this."

Diane woke up to see a face she'd never thought she'd see again. She hadn't
dreamed him up in the ER.

"Don't talk. I'm going to take it out now. You know the routine."

She spit. She looked at him tiredly.

"How you doing?" He gently felt her forehead and then checked her incision.
His hands were delicate and
gentle.

"Billy?" She questioned.

He stared into her eyes and stroked the side of her face. "Yeah."

"I should have climbed higher." She turned her head away form his touch.

"Billy!" Diane caught site of her husband disappearing into the men's locker
room. "Wait!" She followed him
in. "Can you take her?" She shifted her daughter in her arms so not to drop
the diaper bag. She heard water
running.

"I've got to change and review charts. Surgery ran late," he called form the
showers.

"I know that, Billy." She was standing but the lockers. Her voice was
dripping with exasperation. "But I was
supposed to be in the ER twenty minutes ago!"

"This is not my fault!" "Who's the one who came up with the bright idea to
work opposite shifts?!"

"Don't start with me, Diane!"

"Why! I t would be a conversation for once!"

"Downshift woman!"

"You are so lucky I've got Emily with me or I'd come in there and kick your
macho pig ass!"

Aaron and Jack had waked in during her last comment.

"Should we leave?" Jack asked.

Neither Billy nor Diane paid him any attention. "Are you taking man-hating
lessons from Austin now?!"

"Just because I think you area pig doesn't mean I hate men, just you! And I
sure as hell rather pick up habits
form Kate than you!"

"Really!"

"Rally! She's right! It's fine as long as I say 'yes, Billy, of course,
Billy, your right, Billy'. But God forbid I
should have an opinion!"

"At least I have morals!"

"go to hell! Just forget I asked, ok? I'll take Emily downstairs with me."

"I'll watch her until Billy's finished," Aaron volunteered. "She can play
with my brain."

"Thanks, Aaron. Did you hear that Billy?: She yelled back at her husband.
"Aaron's covering for you."

"Bite me!"

"Grow up, Billy!" She handed her daughter off to Aaron. She gave the little
girl a kiss and gave Aaron the
diaper bag. "She needs a change, and there's a bottle in the side." Then she
stormed out.

""Is she gone?" Billy called.

"Are you hiding from your wife?" Jack asked, amused.

Billy came out in scrub pants, drying his hair. "That is not my wife. That
is Hurricane Diane!" He dressed,
kidded his daughter on the head, and stormed out. Aaron held the little girl
up in the air and jiggled her until
she smiled. "Your mommy and daddy are loud, aren't they precious? Yes they
are."

Diane rushed into the ER. "Sorry, Emily spilled god knows what all over
herself and then Billy pulled a Billy
stunt, so right now my daughter is sucking on Aaron Shutt's brain!"

Keith raised an eyebrow. "Rough morning?'

"You have no idea. And to top the whole nasty thing off, Billy scheduled us
opposing shifts for the next three
months! I've barely seen him, let alone had a conversation, and when we do
talk, we end up screaming at each
other! So, I'm a little bit testy today, and I would appreciate if I could
have a patient that would require no
verbal interaction with anyone whatsoever."

"Drunk vs. plate glass. Unconscious. Multiple lacerations." Keith dangled
the chart in front of her. "curtain
three."

"Thank you," Diane breathed as she snatched it out of his hands.

"Billy picked up his daughter from Aaron's office floor and tossed her into
the air. She squealed with delight.
He turned to Aaron. "Thanks for watching her."

"No problem. She's a doll."

"Did you hear that, Baby girl? You have another admirer."

"Do you want to talk about what happened in the locker room?'

"Nope. Diane and I have been having some problems for the last couple of
months."

"Anything serious?"

"I don't know."

"Maybe you should consider counseling."

"Aaron, I know this whole shrink thing..."

"This is not Aaron the shrink talking. This is Aaron been there done that
talking. Get help, Billy. You don't
want to loose her."

Billy gathered his daughter's things. "Maybe I do. She, I... She's not the
woman I married. Or maybe she is, and
I'm just now realizing it. Anyway, she's not my Diane."

"In what way?"

"She...I thought we thought the same way about things, you know? The same
value system. But we don't. I'm
afraid of what she gets into her head in regards to right and wrong. She's
nuts."

"Is that your professional opinion?"

"No, professionally, she's crazier than hell."

Diane got home as Billy was walking out the door. He simply handed Emily and
the diaper bag to her without a
word. Diane watched him go with tears in her eyes. She went inside and put
her sleeping daughter to bed.

Then she did something she rarely did. She had tomorrow off. She opened a
bottle of hard liquor and poured
herself a drink. And another.

Billy came home to find his wife passed out on the couch. Literally passed
out. Even though he had meant
every word he said to Aaron, it didn't mean he didn't love her. To see her
like this nearly broke his hear as
much as it made him want to strangle her. What if Emily needed her? e
checked her pulse. HE picked her up to
carry her to the bathroom. She snuggled down in his arms. She was waking up.

By the time they reached the bathroom, she had opened her eyes groggily.
"Billy? I think I'm..."

He held her head over the toilet just in time.

Diane woke up alone with a sour taste in her mouth and the headache form
hell. Last thing she remembered
was lying, no sprawling, on the living room couch. Scratch tat. The last
thing she remembered was Billy
holding her head over the toilet while she vomited. Billy. Oh shit. She
closed her eyes. Then she steeled
herself to sit up. When the world stopped tilting, she opened her eyes
again. Then she slowly stood up.

Billy was feeding Emily a lunch of carrots, applesauce, and some sort of
brown goo when Diane stumbled into
the kitchen.

"There's coffee, " he said without turning to her. "You'll need it."

"Thanks. Not just for the coffee."

"You remember last night?"

"I didn't think it was medically possible to vomit that much."

"You're lucky I came home when I did. You were passed out on your back when
I got in."

"Well, there's a first time for everything."

"It was stupid, Diane."

"Don't get sanctimonious with me, Billy! It's not like you've never drunk
yourself silly!"

He wiped Emily's hands and face with a wet rag then threw it in the sink.
"Yeah, well, I didn't have a baby who
needed me asleep upstairs!"

"Shh!" Diane sank into a kitchen chair and cradled her head in her hands.
"Don't yell. Nothing happened."

"What about next time?'

"There won't be a next time."

Billy picked up Emily. "I hope not." He handed her to Diane and started
cleaning up the remains of Emily's
lunch off the highchair. Diane rested her check on the top of her daughter's
downy head. the little girl was
fading fast. She snuggled up against her mother's chest, settling next to
Diane's heart beat. She sucked her
thumb subconsciously.

"Is Mommy's little girl sleepy?' Diane rocked her daughter. "I'll go put her
down."

Diane knew he was standing in the doorway, watching her. She stroked Emily's
hair one more time and then
moved to touch hem. "dilly we need to talk."

"What's there left to talk about? It's over, Diane." He moved off down the
hall.

She caught his arm and turned him around. "Billy?'

"Diane, let's not make this any worse than it already is. I love you so much
I can hardly stand it, but it's over. I
don't know you anymore."

She kidded his forehead, his cheeks. "Yes, you do Billy. How could you not?"
Her mouth found his. They
pulled apart. "Billy, I love you.: She kidded him again. She felt him
respond.

They lay as far away from each other as they could afterward. He was staring
at the ceiling. She had her back
to him.

"You're still leaving." It wasn't a question.

"Yeah."

She scrambled out of bed and threw on some clothes.

"Where are you going?"

"I can't stay here right now."

he sat up." Diane."

She finished pulling on her shoes. She held up a hand as if to find off his
words. "Don't Billy. Just don't, ok?"

She walked. She didn't know how long it had been. If she'd been herself, she
wouldn't have let it go as far as it
did. She'd run into an old flame on the navy pier. Her rambling had brought
her there at about seven. She was
on in an hour. they'd talked and he'd offered to walk her to the hospital.
They were in the stair well when he'd
kissed her. She'd kissed him too. When they'd pulled apart, she saw Billy
standing above them on the steps.
He'd turned and left. She ran after him.

Aaron, Kate, and Phillip were involved in a discussion at the nurses'
station. Truth be told, they were
gossiping.

"I can't believe they were having a shouting match in the men's locker
room." Phillip was incredulous.

"I can," Kate flipped through a chart while she talked. "Any clue what if
was about?"

"None," Aaron answered, keeping his and Billy's conversation in confidence.

"You're lying," Phillip accused.

"No, I'm not! What makes you think I know anything? I know nothing!"

Phillip and Kate exchanged glances. "Spill it," they ordered in unison.

Aaron was saved by the subject of the gossip.

Billy exited the stairwell, nearly slamming the door off its hinges, and hit
the hallway at a near run. Diane was
close on his heals.

"Billy, wait!"

He paused in the hallway, anger written all over him.

Diane caught up with him. "Billy that's not what it looked like!"

"Unless he had spontaneously stopped breathing and you were attempting to
resuscitate him, it was exactly
what it looked like!"

"It meant nothing! Billy!"

Billy's posture was defensive. "If he was nothing, I hate to know what you
do with your friends!"

"That's not fair! For god's sake, you're the one who's leaving me!"

"Well, you certainly didn't waste anytime!"

By this time they were screaming at each other. The hallway had grown still
as the bustle slowed down to
watch. Their voices carried even further.

"Ok Billy, let's just make this all about me! God forbid you should take any
responsibility for anything!"

"Oh that's a load of crap and you know it! I'm not the one passed out on the
couch!"

"One time!"

"Yeah well one time would be it if you'd drowned in your own vomit!"

"Go ahead, throw it in my face!"

"forget it, Diane. It's not worth it. It's just not worth it anymore." He
walked away, leaving Diane standing in
the middle of he hallway, fuming. She stormed off in the opposite direction.
She shot passed the three at the
nurses' station without a glance. Aaron shook his head. Kate silently
whistled, and Phillip raised an eyebrow.

Diane was finishing a thirty six-hour shift. It was the only shift that she
and Billy had that overlapped. He'd left
at nine. Then she should have picked up Emily at the baby sitter and then
dropped her off at the sitter again at
seven. He should be back at the hospital now. They needed to talk. She
wearily went and checked his office.
She opened the door. The office was empty. Diane had a horrible sinking
feeling in her stomach.

She dashed to the nurses' station and grabbed the phone.

Phillip found her there. "Diane...'

She held up a finger. "What do you man she'd not here? Did he pick her up?
He didn't bring her back? Ok
thanks." She hung up and redialed. "What is it, Phillip?" She asked as the
phone rang.

"Do you know where Billy is?'

"That seems to be the million dollar question" The answering machine picked
up. "Damn it!"

"Diane?"

"He's gone!"

"Where did he go?"

"I don't know! His office is cleared out; nobody answers at home. I called
the sitter, and Emily's not there!"

"What?"

"He left, Phillip. He's gone and he took my baby with him." Diane was near
tears.

Phillip put his hands on her shoulders. "Let's not jump to conclusions,
Diane. I'll take you home. Maybe he's
just not answering the phone."

Diane barreled through the front door. She pounded up the stairs. "Billy!"
She scanned their room. "Emily!"
She ran toward the baby's room. "Emmy, if you can hear mommy, let me know!"
The nursery was empty. She
checked the bathroom. Nothing. She waked back down the stairs. Phillip stood
at the bottom. "Anything?"

She sank onto the bottom step. "Nothing. They're gone."

"Diane..." Phillip was interrupted by the phone. The machine picked up.

"Diane, Pick up the phone. I know you're there in a panic. Pick up."

She lunged for the phone. "Billy where the hell are you?!"

"We're ok. You don't have to worry."

"Where are you?"

"I got a fob at a hospital. Emily's fine."

"Billy, you can not keep her from me!"

"We'll be back. I bring hr to visit."

"Billy, she's may baby!"

"She's mine too, Diane, and right now, I think she's better off with me."

"Who made you god?"

"Diane, I've got to go. Emily's fine. She knows you love her. Tell Phillip I
quit. and I'm sorry. Diane, that goes
for you too."

"Billy, don't hand up! Billy!" It was too late.

She'd taken two weeks off. They were worried about her. She awoke when the
doorbell rang. She climbed up
off the couch and padded to the door. "Who is it?"

"Dennis."

She unlocked the door. "come in."

Dennis took in her red eyes and nose. "How you doing?"

:"I've been better." She wandered into the kitchen and poured herself a
glass of orange juice. "Want some?"

"No thanks. When do you think you'll be back to work? You'll have to face
everybody sometime. Something
tells me you'll get sympathy."

"He was right, you know. IF we were going to split up, it's better that she
stays with him."

"Diane..."

"He 's the one who wanted to have kids anyway. It scared the hell out of me.
I mean, I'm a mess! I can hardly
take care of myself, let alone another person!"

"You seem like you're doing a pretty good job."

"But I'm no, Dennis! "I'm not. I'm still a mess form what happened with
Alan! Billy and I started dating so soon
after that, I guess I depended on him to get better. and then the cabin...
Jesus Dennis. I'm an emotional wreck."

"Diane, it's not as bad as it seems."

""It's worse. I'm pregnant. Again."

"Are you sure?"

"yes. Damnit!" Why does he always leave me alone and pregnant!"

She broke down. Dennis gathered his friend into a hug. Why couldn't life
ever be simple for her?

Loosing a baby was hard. but in the second trimester because the guys who
assaulted you beat you too hard
was horrible.

Phillip stood outside her room, taking to Dennis. "Has she said anything
yet?'

"Only commented on the irony that it could happen twice."

"Did he?"

"Yes."

"Damn it. Who's in there with her?"

"Aaron. Lisa or Kate would bring up memories. He's trying to get her to cry.
She hasn't yet."

Danny approached the two. "How's she doing?"

"She's still breathing," Phillip answered.

"This is not how I envisioned my return to Chicago Hope." Danny returned.
He'd been in the ER when she
was wheeled in, doubled over and bleeding. He felt like personally beating
the shit out of the bastard who did
it.

Phillip looked up to see Danny Nyland enter his office. "Phillip, take Diane
on this conference. She needs to
get out of the City."

Phillip settled down in his seat. Nyland, McNiel, Catera, and Grad were all
headed for a medical conference in
Las Vegas. Emergency Medicine, Neuro, and Orthopedics. What a combination.
Lisa paused in the aisle to
speak to him.

"How's Diane?" he asked.

"She's asleep. Gotta love tranquilizers."

"How's her arm?"

"Still sore. Were does she pick up those guts?'

"The gutter, most likely. Keep an eye on her."

"No problem."

Billy was sitting in the hallway outside of Diane's room. He was leaning
against the wall, his eyes closed.

"Lucy, you have some 'splaining to do."

Billy opened his eyes in surprise. "Danny? What are you doing here?"

"We've got some ground to cover, Kronk."

Billy cam e and got his daughter form Lisa an hour later. He picked up the
little girl. "She's still sleeping."
Everyone knew who she was.

"Billy.." Phillip began.

"Not now, Phillip. Give me at least another four hours to get her completely
stable and then you can chew me
out."

Billy put his daughter in bed with Diane. She was still sleeping. He placed
the little girl between her body and
her restrained arm. The little girl snuggled down next to her mother and
threw a chubby arm across her. She
hadn't forgotten her mother. Billy had made sure of that. Instead of a
blankie like most kids had, Emily had one
of her mother's old flannel shirts she'd worn while pregnant. Emily scooted
until she could feel her mother's
heart beat. As the little girl drifted off, Billy undid Diane's arm
restraints. He wasn't planning on going
anywhere and he wanted Diane to be able the hold her baby when she woke up.

Diane became aware of a warm body snuggled up beside her. She opened her
eyes. Emily was curled up beside
her. She put her arms around the little girl and held her. She buried her
head in her daughter's hair.

"Still wish you'd gone up two more floors?"

She looked up. "Billy?"

He walked over from the window and sat next to her. He put a hand behind hr
head and rubbed her check with
his thumb.

"How are you feeling?"

"Besides like an idiot? I hurt all over."

"I am so sorry, baby doll."

"It's not your fault I threw myself through a window."

"Yes it is. I shouldn't have left."

"You were right, Billy. I'm not the best candidate to be a mother."

"Don't you say that. You are a great mother. Emily has missed you so much.
I've missed you."

"If you knew what I've become, you wouldn't say that."

"I know and I still do."

Billy watched as Phillip, Jack, and Lisa chatted with Diane. Emily was still
tucked in her arms. Billy and Danny
were out in the hall.

"I never should have left her."

"Yep. You shouldn't have."

"You're a big help, you know that?"

Diane was in the hospital for nearly a month. But she didn't leave once she
was discharged. She stayed with
Billy in Vegas. She was on the phone when he got home. He watched her. She
had her back to him. Emily was
asleep in her arms. She was still very thin. She tired easily. But to him,
she was so beautiful. He didn't know
why he had ever left her. Maybe it was dependency. He didn't care. H loved
her.

She hung up the phone and turned around. "Billy? When did you get home?"

He crossed the room and took her into his arms. The kiss was deep, sweet,
and urgent.

Diane was happy. For the first time in a long time, she was with the person
she wanted to be with. That's why
the pain and the panic that hit her was unexpected. She gasped.

Billy moved to meet her eyes. "Baby, What's wrong?"

Her chest was tightening and tears filled her eyes. "I'm sorry. I'm so
sorry. It's just that it hurts."

"Don you want to stop?"

"No. Stay. Let's stay still for awhile."

Billy 's arms were around her. She buried her head in his shoulder. She took
a deep breath.

"Now, Billy."

They lay in each other's arms. "I'm sorry about that," she apologized again.

"Baby doll, don't worry"

"I shouldn't have panicked. You care about me. You love me. You weren't
hurting me. I wanted it."

Billy looked at her with a puzzled expression.

"Didn't Danny tell you, about the baby?"

"He told me it miscarried."

"He didn't tell you how?"

"No."

She rolled away from him. She couldn't look at him while she said this. "I
didn't see him until it was too late. I
kept telling myself it was my fault, but Aaron wouldn't let me blame myself.
It was like before at the cabin, only
this time Kate wasn't there to save me."

"Diane..." Billy wrapped his arms around her again.

"I tried to save our baby, Billy! I did everything he told me to. But he
just kept on hurting me! He lied! He said
he wouldn't hurt the baby if I just shut up and did what he said!"

Billy turned her round to face him. He met her eyes. "Diane, it doesn't
matter. It's not your fault. Never think
that. Never."

She began to cry as he held her. She felt safe for the first time in ages.
She was home.