By Cyclops and Tilde

Disclaimer: They do not belong to us, they come from the minds of Spelling and Goldberg.

1. Julie
2. Tiffany
3. Jill
4. Tanya Roberts
5. Charlie and all his women (The man would need a personal VD clinic).
6. The implied sex (Swingin’ 70s my ass!)
7. Bosley never gets laid.
8. Not enough bloodshed.
9. Sabrina’s dorky ex-husband
10. The tacky exploding silhouette logo
11. The irritating na-na-naaah theme song
12. Icky transitions between scenes
13. The Fantasy Island cinematography.
14. Dumb lines the %&^* writers gave Sabrina, Kelly, and Kris.
15. The endless parade of himbos.
16. All the leering bad guys who never actually DO anything.
17. How every car is a Ford (even the bad guys’ cars)
18. Sabrina’s sick orange pinto with plaid interior.
19. Sabrina’s woeful lack of depth
20. Everything bad happens to Kelly (she gets shot in the head twice, no wonder she’s cynical).

Runners-up

· The lack of any memorable villains.

· Charlie’s seeming omnipotence.