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Robot Tom Baker! After five seasons of Jon Pertwee, UNIT, Barry Letts and Terrance Dicks it's time for a change. But today the change is limited to just the Doctor as this story was set up by Dicks and Letts, the latter still in the producer's chair for this story taped just after Planet of the Spiders. The first use of OB in the series with an all tape production makes sense when you consider the amount of optical effects needed for episode 4 and does mean that the CSO in this story is generally good (Though there are some important exceptions). Tom Baker is the focal point in this story, one made several months before the rest of the season. And though it's his first story and he's still finding his feet, Baker is prone to overenunciating everything at the same level and pitch rather like he's trying too hard and ends up patronising every other character to the point where it's a wonder the Brigadier doesn't pop a cap in his arse. The guest cast are suitably menacing, Patricia Maynard and Alec Linstead as Winters and Jellicoe are evil enough, the former being the only female villain the series has used without sticking her in a revealing gown or a leotard. Edward Burnham looks so different from the way we usually see him and is absolutely perfect as Professor Kettlewell. That hair! This story used the regulars to help bridge the gap for viewers, so it's fairly standard UNIT fare. Lis Sladen puts in another great performance as Sarah and while I admire the actress, Sarah is always stupid in early episodes, getting into trouble for no good reason other than to give her something to do. Benton and the Brigadier finally get something to do after only one story in season 11 to use them properly. But this story also introduced the buffoon Harry Sullivan, created as an Ian Chesterton/ Steven Taylor character when it was thought the new Doctor might not be as agile as Jon Pertwee. Then Baker was cast and Harry got the lobotomy, old fruit. But Harry and Sarah made a great team, the last male companion that actually worked well (while Turlough was a good character, he didn't work with Tegan). The design in this story is really limited to the Robot and a triumph it is for the BBC, but with a few reservations. Michael Kilgarrif provides a fantastic voice for K1 but was it necessary to get this actor (he wasn't that young) in this heavy suit when a stuntman or someone used to this sort of hard yakka could have done the grunt work while the actor was miked up out of harm's way. The Robot walks like John Cleese as the Minister of Silly Walks. The effects tour de force of the story is undoubtedly the Robot holding off UNIT with the disintegrator gun (and the much maligned toy tank) and of course the King Kong-style rampage. Dealing with the first, the disintegrator gun is handled well enough though if it treated more like an artillery weapon, it would have been more dramatic. The Robot's growing and shrinking are the story's FX weak points, with large chunks of the Metal Mel B disappearing like soap from a hotel holding a convention for reformed kleptomaniacs. That said, while K1 is oversize, things look much better though perhaps a few scenes could have been achieved without the 'benefit' of blue screen. The tank, featured for only a few seconds could have worked better. The CSO doesn't give the game away, rather it's the unrealistic movement of the caterpillar tracks that sour the baby's milk. The story-line is adequate, nothing more, nothing less. That's not a bad thing as the characters are well served, particularly Sarah and the Doctor. Terrance Dicks convinced Robert Holmes in his first credited story as script editor that the outgoing editor writes the first story of the next season, an understandable move on the part of the newly freelance Dicks, who only wrote court one story as a last minute replacement during his time as script editor (see Ark in Space). So while the plot could have comfortably fitted into a two parter without the regeneration, Terrance Dicks actually manages fully formed characters, some of you Target readers may be surprised he is actually any good, practical if not out and out spectacular like his successor. Rating: Introduce a Doctor, make common or garden robots into a giant robot and The Ark in Space Bob Holmes reworked this script originally assigned to John Lucarotti to such an extent that only the title remained from the original, hence the script editor ended up with the credit. And what a credit it is to him. Ark in Space is the sort of story I didn't like as a child but adore as an adult. When you're little you want action, even if it is done like a panto (Planet of the Daleks) but this story has fantastic dialogue, characterisation and scope. And the effects are pretty good with nothing being all that bad. There's even a smattering of new video effects, a triumph of which would be the fission guns. The prop might look like a cross between a giant pickle claw and a caulking gun (maybe the Beeb needed to seal a few leaks) but the effect was a lot better than the soft-focus glow used so often in recent years. The other pistols seemed more impressive on stun rather than kill when the effect was smaller, perhaps having two sets of handgun was unnecessary, the fission guns might have worked better as a rifle. The fast pace of the action scenes is let down by the vision mixer but at least they're not played out a snail's pace- how anyone was ever killed by a laser in Doctor Who before now is a mystery to me. The design is excellent in every respect, and that's something we haven't been able to say about the SF stories up till now as there were always a few lash-up space ships or poor costumes to screw things up in an otherwise well designed story. It's also noticeable that this season (apart from Robot, of course- made as part of season 11) has seen a large drop in the useage of CSO, something that adds to the production values as even when it's well done (not always the case, even by 1975), a curly haired star can put paid to any suspension of disbelief. The cast is probably the biggest contributory factor to this stories success. While Lis Sladen was by this time the 'old girl' that Sarah objected to being called as she was the only one involved to have been with the series for any length of time. Hinchcliffe, Baker and Ian Marter had only just joined but as this was the 3rd story of the season to be made everyone had found their feet by this time . Vira, Noah, Rogin are all well cast and its a shame the actors were never involved with the series again. Baker, of course, gives the famous Homo Sapiens speech and with it put his mark firmly on the role, something he didn't quite manage in his debut. Ian Marter is often characterised as a bumbler though in each story that featured him, it's usually the same pattern of adjusting to the new circumstances and surroundings quite quickly, though not losing himself in the new surroundings the same way Sarah would. Of course, it didn't hurt that Holmes had, by this time, become one of the better regular script writers (if not the best) and was script editor so he knew exactly what could be done with the resources and what was needed dramatically. There weren't many chances taken this season with the writers all being old hands with the series, important when the gap between production of seasons 12 and 13 would end up being only two months. Holmes even had to rewrite the Cybermen story quite heavily so how he managed to pull this plum out with so much on is, well, a credit to his genius for Doctor Who. Ark in Space is one of the better stories from the mid 70's. It's exceptionally well written, beautifully designed, directed with a subtle style and acted with verve. In short, almost perfect and the best made story since Day of the Daleks. Episode One is also a curiosity as it features a rather interesting version of the Tom Baker title sequence with rather strange colours. The Sontaran Experiment Doctor's first all OB story looks nothing like Survivors, which was also made entirely on OB except that it was a whole series produced this way. The first story of the 12th production block, the first all OB story, the first 2 parter in 10 years, it's a pioneering production, even if the threat is one of those "imminent threat is small but if we fail the balloon will go up, maybe not today, maybe not next week but sooner or later" that suited Doctor Who but was generally forgotten about in the 80's in favour of the "End of the Universe, Now" every four weeks epics favoured by JNT. There isn't much in this story- there are no sets, no blue-screen, a few guest actors and Sontaran props from stock. Only Styre's new mask and helmet are new (though chances are the Beeb junked the original Sontaran ship and built another-they detested storing anything, even it was a master tape) and of course, the scout robot. Despite the chrome exterior, it is passable for a probe droid but as the cause of so much fear among the Galsec soldiers it's a bit of a stretch. As there is 10, 000 years difference between Linx and Styre, it's appropriate that there have been several changes (or glitches, such as the extra digits). This mask has better movement of the mouth and is more expressive but looks much fatter and rather comical. No jokes about Humpty Dumpty, please. His eventual deflation is not handled at all well (don't they have bones?) and the climatic explosion of the ship disappoints just as the destruction of Irongron's castle did last time around. The guest cast are rather good and the Sarth Efriken eccents are a nice touch, In fact this is the only time I've seen the actor who plays Vural and felt he gave a decent performance (remember his crappy American accent in Blake's 7- Rumours of Death?). Kevin Lindsay's performances is excellent as usual, a great pity he didn't get the chance to play Stor in Invasion of Time (The worst Sontaran performance ever) One let down is the special effects in this story as everything was done in camera on location, so no video effects at all (unless you include the roll-back and mix, otherwise known as a dissolve, used for the trans-mat). The Galsec guns (Later used by Cally in Blake's 7) are rather plain light-up affairs with a piddly synthesiser bleep that wouldn't burn a hole in children's pyjamas whereas Styre loses the familiar Sontaran wand for an equally uninspiring pistol depicted by gels placed over the camera. I used to get the same effects on home videos in the mid eighties by having toy Daleks fire with a coloured drinking straw held in front of the camera. Same principle applies except my excuse was that I had no facilities for superimposing or editing and I was 10. This story, when combined with Ark in Space is actually identical production-wise to the McCoy three parters, and Colin Baker's unintended swansong in that six episodes were split into two stories made by the same production team. And another similarity is of course one was all studio and the other being made totally on OB! Funny that. All in all, proof that two part stories had a part to play in the series and if it wasn't for the fact they are considered more expensive per episode if you have to built sets and costumes for only two episodes rather than four or six, I for one would have gladly sacrificed all but two of Tom Baker's six part stories for more of these delightful stories. Read on and you'll discover which ones deserve the 'prestige' of six parts. Genesis of the Daleks A bit about Dalek history. Terry Nation had made a name for himself out of the Daleks and withdrew the Beeb's permission to use them so he could get a 'Dalek' series off the ground in America. By 1971, these efforts had come to nothing and Nation was working as a script consultant on The Persuaders!. At the same time, Barry Letts and Terrance Dicks needed a gimmick to open Season Nine. They asked Nation if they could bring back the Daleks, a request agreed to by Nation though he wasn't available. Nation allowed his creations to be inserted into Louis Marks Dalek-less story Time Warriors . The Daleks were then written by Louis Marks into the story that became Day of the Daleks. Then Nation wrote Planet of the Daleks and Death to the Daleks in season 10 and 11 respectively. Although Letts and Dicks were leaving, they still had to set-up season 12 so Nation handed them his outline for his Dalek story when Letts and Dicks said how much they liked it but that they couldn't use it as Nation had already sold it to them three times before. The production duo suggested to Nation that he show viewers how the Daleks came into being. Hence this, the final story of the season to be made. This is without doubt an epic of a story and unlike most six-parters does not feature padding. There is a lot of running around, getting caught and escaping going on but this always manages to advance the plot line unlike stories like Monster of Peladon and, indeed, Planet of the Daleks. In fact, unusual for a Terry Nation script, a lot of travelling between set pieces is cut. Nation often used these pauses in the action to examine his characters but in this story people are defined by their actions rather than their history. No reason is given for Davros' condition or Nyder's zealotry but they aren't just stereotypical Nazis. In fact all the location work for the story is in episode one with parts of Sarah's revolt shot at the film studios in eps two and three. Bettan is perhaps the least well-served character- as she acts as a pseudo-Sarah in parts of episode four and her only other function is to blow up the Dalek bunker at the end. As the only woman in the guest cast, it would have been understandable with any other writer but Terry Nation has always written strongly for women. Another thing- The Doctor inspires Bettan to blow up the Elite's Bunker and then helps Gharmann in his coup against Davros, whom he thanks for relieving him of the responsibility for destroying the Daleks. If it wasn't for the time ring the Doctor would have left Skaro, as far as he knew, when Bettan would have sealed in the victorious Gharmann and the promise of ethical Daleks- bad move. Dennis Chinnery leaves it a bit late to develop such sensitivity, especially since his people had been at war for a millennium, and they had all been wiped out- to his knowledge by the Thals. The cast is recognisable from many programs with Harriet Philpin (looking like she just got back from an anti-war demo) and Stephen Yardley (looking like he just got back from a war) There's even Guy Siner but he doesn't seem to have his little tank with him and the old guy from When the Boat Comes In. Of course, there's a return appearance from Who stalwarts Peter Miles and Michael Wisher in his best role ever. And Roy Skelton as usual proves he is THE best Dalek voice man ever. The special effects in this story are mostly limited to on-set props and explosions- no problem with CSO only being used for viewscreens( albeit somewhat dodgy on occasion). Of course, Genesis of the Daleks is the story that made the Daleks frightening again with the first use of a beam along with the standard negative effect- though now keyed in hard rather than slowly as in the past. The actual beam wasn't a difficult effect to achieve as it was superimposed using the same equipment/ technology used to superimpose title captions. But in the days before dedicated video editing suites and when gallery only days were as rare as an uneaten Big Mac in the vicinity of Marlon Brando, the reasons it wasn't used more often was that it took time to line up and almost always had to be recorded as live, only Daleks could shoot and stay still enough without the pace evaporating. In fact, we wouldn't see anything similar until Face of Evil. Genesis of the Daleks is David Maloney's best Doctor Who story ever and is an example of everything coming together beautifully like Ark in Space. It is one of the best Doctor Who stories of the 70's and another defining moment for the series. Continuity is important to a series like Doctor Who. Not just things like one story slightly at odds with one made twenty years before but scene to scene. This season is designed so that each story segues smoothly into the next, with little possibility of off-screen adventures. But the production order of the stories, for varying reasons was mixed up, Robot made straight after Planet of the Spiders followed by a long break then the two parter and Ark in Space, The Cyberman season closer then finally this story. For instance- a scene involving Sarah finding army fatigues is written into episode 5 as this is what she wears in the next story, which had alrady been made. That is an example of continuity being taken care of. But in episode six, the Doctor emerges from the incubation room wearing his long coat and hat, which hadn't been seen since being taken by the Kaleds in part one. While it is possible the Doctor recovered these items off-screen (he didn't grab Harry's coat, though), he isn't wearing them at the start of Revenge of the Cybermen. But not only that, he isn't wearing them in the very last shot of the trio travelling in space(!) GENESIS OF THE DALEKS- Scare the kiddies with this one, Revenge of the Cybermen It's difficult to see why the Cybermen weren't brought back more often (or at all for Jon Pertwee). It's true that in the 60's there were quite a few in a short space of time (5 stories in 3 seasons) but still it ends up as seven years before and after this story. A long time between drinks in anyone's language. Gerry Davis was their co-creator and came back to the series when, nearly a decade after he was script editor, he was commissioned to write a studio-bound cheapy using as many of the sets from Ark in Space as possible. A budget increase mid-season allowed for location work and so Bob Holmes heavily rewrote the scripts. To give some idea of the scope of the rewrite, Voga and the its inhabitants are Holmes' creations. Davis wasn't too thrilled and the end result is probably the least satisfactory story of the season. It is, however, a lot of fun. Tom Baker shows his comic side in this story to a level we would not see again until the Graham Williams era. Harry takes a few backwards steps in characterisation from the last few encounters and becomes the buffoon everyone remembers and Sarah is GI Jane, except with Bill Oddie's hairstyle. The guest cast are all familiar as everyone (except Jeremy Wilkin) has appeared in the series more than once, Ronald Leigh Hunt plays the same character he always seem to play but the interesting casting choices are those covered in masks. Christopher Robbie's Cyberleader is something new, for the first time we have a Cyberman who doesn't speak like something released by Texas Instruments during the 80's and is quite dynamic, even if he is a bit emotional for a Cyberman. Still, it makes a change from David Banks playing every Cyberleader as he did in the 80's. This is probably due to the fact that for the first time in the series, the actor inside the costume speaks the words, hence the slightly muffled sound from the mask is enhanced with a buzzing tone that harks back to the sixties method of a dental palette. The Vogans are an interesting lot with decent masks that allow full facial expressions. Casting really good actors helps with Michael Wisher returning so soon and Kevin Stoney's third appearance and David Collings' first helping to dignify the proceedings. Michael E.Briant (in the mid 70's he added an E, so now he loves everyone) can be other a very good director of BBC style SF and pretty average and this story counts as only average with many elements in this story common to other Briant stories with the destruction of the Cybership recreating shot for shot the destruction of the Dalek ship in Death to the Daleks (though at least the model work has improved). Also he again snubbed Dudley Simpson in favour of another composer, using Carey Blyton again and for the third and last time, Blyton's score proved unsatisfactory, though this time Phillip Hinchcliffe asked Peter Howell at the Radiophonic Workshop to augment the soundtrack, hence some synthesised passages that are much more complicated than Blyton's trademark simple motiffs and arrangements. I think the end product is good with the Cybemen having a strong, yet simple theme. It's a pity it took until 1980 for Howell to be used again SEASON THIRTEEN Terror of the Zygons Robert Banks Stewart's best work was creating the series Bergerac. Terror of the Zygons, however, is a Doctor Who story that is best described as average, but one that veers between good and bad. Douglas Camfield's first full Doctor Who story since the Troughton era is a bit disappointing for the opening serial to the almost legendary season 13, though as you'll discover, I find season 12 to 13. Let's start with the good. The Zygons are a fantastic design, menacing yet capable of expression and the exterior to their ship shows a maturity in ship design not seen in the series before. The interior too is innovative, a hundred times better than Axos back in 1971, though things are let down by doors that are wholly out of keeping with the rest of the interior. The Skarasen for the most part is adequate, but only just so and only on filmed sequences (more later). The script is not really anything other than a collecting of scenes, though they fit together as continuity is concerned, some of the logic used shows a lack of imagination much of the time. Things like the Zygons in the hospital- there had to be more than the one implied, and so on. The Zygons also tend to tell Harry too much, too clumsily, too early; scenes that would have worked better with the Doctor in episode four rather than with Harry in part two. Also the Zygon performing a transformation just for Harry's benefit is somewhat pointless. At least he didn't say 'cop a load of this.' At least none of the Zygons impersonating Scots used broken bottles to subdue resistance. I say this because a lot of very old school Scottish stereotypes are used to set the scene from the radio operator asking for a haggis to the constant bagpipe music and the Brigadier and Doctor wearing Scottish clothes for about 5 minutes before changing into something more serious. And of course, no story featuring Scots would be complete without a crack about thriftiness. A good thing the program was never made by BBC Scotland then! The cast is pretty good but shows the onset of minor roles being cast somewhat sloppily with characters such as Huckell being bland. The direction id mostly good with nothing particularly bad but the filmed scenes are handled so beautifully, you feel angry that the Beeb didn't make the show totally on film. Geoffrey Burgon's score is different from the standard Simpson fare but less memorable, though since Camfield had a long standing disagreement with Simpson, it was either this or stock music. While the effects were pretty good, or excellent in any scenes involving the exterior of the Zygon craft, everything is thrown out the window when the blue screen Skarasen pops up out of the Thames looking like rotting fish- it's no wonder that bored PBS technicians in the US dubbed burping noises over the soundtrack. It strains at credulity ruining the whole story the same way Invasion of the Dinosaurs suffered (though that was excellent in every other respect). Throughout the history of Doctor Who, The stories that are most maligned, whatever the quality of scripts and other areas of production, are those depicting large, supposedly terrifying monsters. The series has NEVER pulled this one off from the Drashigs to the Dinosaurs in London to the Skarasen, Kroll, Erato, the Mara, Myrka and Morlocks- The Beeb can't pull it off past a certain size. Planet of Evil According to English fanzine DWB (Now Dreamwatch), theis story is the proverbial winning lottery ticket in the bank vault simply because it it appears in episode guides under the heading Season 13- that supposedly brilliant collection of 26 episodes with no weak points. Though according to anyone who's ever seen "Forbidden Planet" (the 1956 movie not the chain of SF shops in the UK) Planet of Evel Knievel is a cheap imitation that takes itself a little too earnestly (the case with most of Hincliffe era). "Salamar, don't use the accelerator!"Twenty years of SFX development didn't seem to have had much of an impact on this story's production team. When the Morestrans see something they'd like to kill, they don't fire at it, they take photos of their target with those flash guns of theirs (A Kodak Moment). The Morestran ship looks like a vacuum cleaner after a disagreement with a hammer and the interior is so plain it makes Prentis Hancock's atrocious acting almost come alive. I said almost. Even allowing for the taste void that was the seventies, The Morestran costumes seem designed for men with hairy chests and all that's missing is s gold medallion.Then there's the poooooor continuity with special effects wheneverthe anit-matter creature kills someone and the lousy execution of the crystals as the change colour. The whole thing reeks of ham and wood- the menas by which some well-written Doctor Whos are turned into badly-acted and indifferently-produced tat which is dated even before post-production is finished. Here Tom Baker starts his overplaying the Doctor's alien aspect, staring into space at times, probably a bit too much because he has to pause eveynow and then before having another good stare- he looks like a very bad deadpan comic trying not to laugh. The plot itself isn't all that bad (apart from the rip-offs) with Frederick Jaeger giving a good performance as Sorensen. But in the end I have to give the story the thumbs down so far I have to go down to the basement. Rating: two and half Horns of Nimon. Pyramids of Mars It's much harder to write a review of a story so good because bouquets aren't as funny as brickbats. Michael Sheard and Gabriel Woolf as basically the voice of Sutekh are excellent, the latter proving that the voice is so important in creating a villain- something that we often missed later on. The only time Sutekh moves is to stand from his throne and even then the great Osiran needs a stagehand to prevent cushions sticking to his bum. Obviously the Egyptians hadn't heard of teflon. holding the cushion so it doesn't stick to the Destroyer's bum. This story is always going to be the one casual veiwers remember as the one with the mummies skulking around the mansion. The location used was a house called Stargroves, at the time owned by Mick Jagger but presumably the real estate agent in Bali didn't have all the correct papers so Jagger doesn't own the house and has never owned the house, but he lived in it as though he owned the house. Paddy Russel's direction isn't overshadows by a visual effects bungle like it was on Invasion of the Dinosaurs (Which Barry Lett's freely attributes to his decision to farm out the dinosaur making to a contractor). The story, with it's Victorian sets mixed with the higjly effective Osiran designs of Sutekh's chamber and the Martian complex is a nice mix, complimenting each other like two actors after a bad performance. The special effects in this story are fairly major, from the modelwork of the destruction of the house and rocket to the mummies to the blue-screen effects which mostly work. The CSO isn't perfect but not so awfully noticeable in the context of the story. In fact the CSO's main failings are the thin black lines which could be made out on scenes involving the time-tunnel and the finale as the Eye of Horus is destroyed- the Eye of Horus being a bird bath with a giant egg ready for Orthodox easter. Sure it blew up but you should have seen the other one. And just like Orthodox easter is usually a week after the Catholic/Protestant Easter, so there is a delay between the Eye's destruction and the effect reaching Earth. Pyramids of Mars is an excellent story and easily the best in as season wrongly attributed to be the series' best. THE ANDROID INVASION Where am I? In the Village, Devesham. What do you want? Information on how to mount an invasion of Earth by using duplicates of English villagers and not giving away obvious clues such as identical coins. Whose side are you on? That would be telling. We want... information... information... information. You won't get it. By hook or by crook we will, Etc. Enough esoterica, on to season 13. Terror of the Zygons was pretty good; the Planet of Evil should have been visited by the Death Star; Pyramids of Mars was near perfect; Brain of Morbius, a ripper; Seeds of Doom, Don Burke's nightmare. Now BBC Video have filled the only gap in our video collections of season 13- and The Android Invasion is that video library polyfilla. And now a couple of quick impressions... I must say I like the scenes set in the village- Nicely realised. I dislike any scenes involving Dalek-substitutes, the Kraals- that name courtesy of Terry Nation's new set of apocryphal encyclopaedias. They look okay and sound all right but it is hard to be menaced by a race crippled by osteoporosis. Instead of recreating an English village, perhaps they should have kidnapped a few dozen milkmen. The Kraals (Despite the appalling misprint on the back cover) are a race so dumb as to try and wipe out a whole planet with a virus that isn't transmitted through the air; a virus that kills Kraals just as well as it slices the wires that suspend the viewer's disbelief. Furthermore, viewers will just plain laugh at the Kraals' ill-conceived plans. The plot holes are just too numerous to catalog but suffice it to say, the central premise of SPACE:1999 is more convincing than this plot. And so on. The robots and their finger blasters are cool, no doubt about it. For finger-firers, only the Autons are cooler (Those limp-wristed automatons might have made the show better, however). The whole duplicate plot is made even more suspenseful by the fact that anyone with duplicate of them has no personality whatsoever. Speaking of people who project no personality whatsoever, the supporting cast must been given tips by Prentis Hancock (Mr. Showbiz) , for they all pull together to give masterful portayals of bad actors. They are soooooo wooden (I guess I now get Shakespeare's joke about Burnham Wood - he's talking about rotten actors in the Globe). There's underplaying- John Levene, overplaying- A post-Avengers Patrick Newell, overbearing- Tom Baker, overenunciating- Milton Johns, overpaid- Terry Nation. If this all seems uncharitable to you, I wish Mary Whitehouse would have forgotten complaints about sex and violence and started a Watchdog committee for Ham and Wood TV Actors. The visual effects are all right but the interior sets (village excepted) look as if they were plastered with Contact of various patterns and colours. There is a definite plastic and tacky look which plunges the series downmarket to compete with the TOMORROW PEOPLE. The soundtrack, like the rest of the story's elements, is not one of the best the series has produced. I can just see the meetings between Barry Letts and Dudley Simpson. LETTS: Well, Dud. The robot corporal is rabid as he jerkily runs toward the cliff. SIMPSON: Robotic? I know, we'll have lots of clockwork sounds for percussion- to give that impression of high technology at work. LETTS: You are a genius. SIMPSON:Why thank you, luvvie. LETTS: No. Thank you. TERRACE DICKS: I think Tewwy has wwitten a cwap scwipt. LETTS:Ah, Shut up, Wobin Bland. There's lots of chases and running around, being captured and escaping after learning the villain's plan. Quite a few stunts, too, as Terry Walsh's face is on screen longer than Tom Baker's (POW!That's satire). You can just see Jon Pertwee using his Venusian Aikido on the robot Sarah. But I digress again. And it's just so darned easy to do when dealing with four episodes of Doctor Who written by the man who, given the chance, will claim credit for anything (Look at the episodes he wrote for his other sci-fi drama series, Survivors, in the same year and you'll see he had his mind elsewhere). RATING(by Paul Calf) Bag o' shite. I liked it better the first time, when it was called Terror of the Zygons BRAIN OF MORBIUS Only Terrance Dicks 3rd Story after nearly 7 years on the show, Brain of Morbius is perhaps his best script, even though Robert Holmes rewrote it so much that Dicks demanded they use some bland pseudonym. Hence 'By Robin Bland.' Brain of Morbius, as a studio-only story set in an SF environment needed the design team to get it right and in thnis case they came up with an alien look that works without resorting to silver anywhere. In fact Solon's castle ranks among the series' most memorable sets along with the TARDIS interior, the Panopticon and the Dalek city.The cast is excellent, even Igor, I mean, Condo. But it really is Philip Madoc's show and he eats the lush scenery like a diabetic at a "I can't believe it's not Sugar Convention." Really, he is that good. Also worthy of mention are the two leaders of the Sisterhood, even the younger one whose expression seems stuck on "You might have warmed it first before using that, Doc." Morbius' new body is a bit of a disappointment. Just because the story makes clear it's a mix of spare parts doesn't mean it gives the production team to make economies. Like Orac in Blake's 7, just having the cast say it doesn't look like much doesn't give the viewer the feeling they're getting value for their time. At least the voice is suitably menacing. There are few video effects in the story but those that do appear are excellent, even the CSO. A story like this- studio bound, always looks cheaper no matter how much money is spent (probably the rationale behind the filming of the indoor jungle for Planet of Evil. (either that or they had the filming allocation anyway- more likely). But here the story almost (but not quite) manages to overcome it's studio feel. A day or two on location could have helped this story a lot. Not the best story of the season but a close second. SEEDS OF DOOM Seeds of Doom was (for about three months) fandom's most anticipated video release as BBC Video's release schedule for Tom Baker six parters was roughly in descending order of quality. While it's not bad (it's pretty good) it the season's third best by a wide margin. It is lacking something. It;s a fairly epic story but could have donw with having only two episodes set in England rather than four. It only has a fairly small cast and only 4 main characters: The Doctor, Sarah, Chase and Brodie, er sorry, Scorby. For six episodes, I'd expect something that immediately threatens more than a mansion. I mean if the Krynoid had rampaged through a town, it would have been a different story. A better one, but as things are there's a lot of padding in episodes 3-6. The Antarctic episodes are the best of the lot with some of the best miniatures seen in the 70's as well as very good use of stock footage and sound effects. The whole "Thing from another world" ends almost as quickly as it had started and indeed, the whole story , with a larger cast, could have been very exciting if contained around the Antarctic base. The more you think about it, this story could have been two very good stories rather than one average one. The feeling of being ripped-off (after stories like Brain of Morbius and Pyramids of Mars) is worsened when UNIT are involved and once again the Brigadier is a no show. Nick Courtney may have other work on, or was pissed off about being written out of the show but it doesn't make the viewer feel better when all these one off replacements appear. What's worse is that, unlike the Android Invasion, where Benton and Harry are seen, here we see UNIT personnel that no one's ever seen before. It's like the show was written to feature UNIT in the last two episodes but none of the actors involved were able or willing to take part. The new pretenders are Blander than Robin and satisfy the viewer the same way Robert Holmes' rewrite of Brain of Morbius sated Terrance Dicks. And the viewers can't put a pen name to something they don't like. The production is actually quite good and the OB actually contributes to the classy look rather than cheapening it as it did during the late 80's. The lower resolution and green tinge give the proceedings a creepy look. It's just a pity it's two episodes too long. Rating: Oh god, please no jokes about semen. SEASON FOURTEEN Masque of Mandragora Season 15's opener begins with a slight tweak to the title sequence with the new font that matches the setting of this story and the new TARDIS control room set. Tom Baker plays this story very much like his predecessor, but with all the foreboding we have come to admire in Baker. The cast of this story are uniformly excellent with Norman Baker being the stand-out. There's even a young Tim Pigott Smith and if you listen to the story while reading you might well mistake it for a wildlife documentary. The sets and costumes are beautifully made (though how much imagination do you need to look something up in a history book) and the direction string. It's not all Ferrero Rocher with the video effects coming across like a sparkler superimposed over the action. Oh, that's how they did it. How dissappointing. The scenes inside the Helix are also rather poor looking like plastic srystals stuck togerther on a spring. Er, um.... I like the fact that the Doctor's ability to understand almost any language is actually explained in just enough detail to make sense but not too much to spoil the Doctor's mystery. Another nice touch was the fact that in a historical setting, not everyone like they're choking on plum trees. They might speak english but the use of accents to distinguish status helps with the atmosphere. A problem with this era of the series was that things like black magic tended to be the focus of a lot of stories. Just because special powers are the province of aliens doesn't make them any less magical or any more scientific. The nature of the Helix could have done with a bit more fleshing out, perhaps to compensate for the poor visuals Louis Marks script is well written and the direction confident, with excellent action scenes and even with three villains, Heironymous, Frederico and Mandragora, it still lacks a bit of oomph in the moustache twirling department, the sort needed in any great story. The Hand of Fear Knowing Script Editor Holmes' propensity for scaring the living shit out of his audience, it is little wonder that the idea for this story was based on old horror movies like the Hand of Orloc and the Beast with Five Fingers. Baker and Martin's script however is one of their better contributions though the production is a little low-key (though not cheap). In that I mean that the set pieces are not overly expensive but the tension created by the story and the actors' performances. I hated this story when I was young, probably because I remember seeing a horror movie about a crawling hand when I was five. Also there was a commercial for a Philips remote control television in the late 70's/ early 80's where a man was watching TV in bed, changing channels with his remote control rather than having to get out of bed. A claw comes up from under his bed and he gets rid of it with the remote. For about 10 years, I couldn't sleep on a bed that wasn't against the wall and even then I had a pillow stuffed in the gap between the bed and the wall. But that was 20 years ago. Now, I don't have the hang up about the claw and I can appreciate the quality of the script in this story. That's not to say it's perfect. The fittings on the sets depicting a nuclear complex look more like a butcher's with white tiled rooms and radioactive items being stored in a meat locker and transported in a tupperware. Dr Carter is there only transport the Doctor to the reactor before being killed when his story function has been fulfilled in a typically BBC SF callous fashion (cheap actors tend to be more demanding financially when a sequel only works if the same cast are used). But to counter this, we have a touching scene of Glyn Houston, believing the reactor is about to go into meltdown, ringing his family to tell the he loves them. Once the action switches to Kastria, matter are no better or worse, just different. You do get the feeling that there are a number of plot devices are lifted from Seeds of Doom, and this story has the pacing of a six parter. Once we get to Kastria things sort of end rather quickly with episode 4 posing almost no serious threat to the Doctor or Sarah. Of course, Sarah leaved in this story and for her outstanding contribution to the series (recognised even then), she gets a fairly lengthy departure scene, similar to Susan's departure twelve or so years before. With that bit at the end, there was only time for the story's few loose ends to be tied up. The design of Kastria is mostly good, even if parts of the sets are badly painted and jar with the rest of the designs. The Kastrian suits are almost perfect, apart from the flaps over the arms and legs and are ten times better than the Krargs from Shada. What is perfect is Eldrad version 1.0 with Judith Paris' performance being of the better aliens we have seen. Stephen Thorn as the later version is also good, but his voice is too similar to Omega and Azal and at times his moustache twirling laugh is diabolical. If something big happened, then this story might have memorable for reasons other than "Eldrad must Live". The special effects depicting the hand are excellent, it's just that there really is nothing demanding in the script so that even with the low rent sets the show doesn't look all that bad. The Hand of Fear is about as fearsome as the Hand of Strudel. And not half as sweet. THE DEADLY ASSASSIN Season 14, in my humble opinion, easily eclipses the overrated season 13 as the better season. While Mandragora and Hand of Fear were perhaps a little trivial in their scope, here we are treated to something grand with big stories for the rest of the season. Deadly Assassin has to vie with Robots of Death for my favourite story of the year but they are two different stories. Gothic is a word bandied about a lot when talking about the Hinchcliffe era but I think the term 'classical' is more appropriate. I don't mean as a near flawless Doctor Who story (which it is) but in the context of ancient civilisation. To gush about a story is to find little to criticise and little to make jokes about. So the design, costumes, acting, special effects, direction and scripts are all top notch. So the climax with the Master looks a little 'small' for the action depicted (rather like the conclusion to Day of the Daleks), the story works very well and hasn't dated all that much. Perhaps the sets look a bit plasticky in places but at least Gallifrey isn't represented by a few ex-army radios stacked up. Holmes always understood what made good Doctor Who and even the worst stories to bear his name tend to be good scripts with poor production values. Deadly Assassin is one of the occasions where for some reason, everyone puts in the effort and the viewer is rewarded. As the Cyberleader would later say, "Excellent." Face of Evil If Hand
of Fear was the one with the hand, Deadly Assassin
the one with the fried egg eyed man
The special
effects are mostly impressive, apart from a few dodgy blue screen shots,
make you
PRO- Leela, leather, leela in Leather; good video effects, thoughful, imaginative plot good acting; decent design and direction CON- Some cheapness and poor CSO. Some plotholes full of hortas OVERALL- 1)Things mechanics wear 2) A word that doesn't well suit the coverage of Lousie Jameson's costume 3) A Clayton's Graham Williams story- The Fun Season 15 without mony of the flaws
The
ROBOTS OF DEATH
TALONS OF WENG CHIANG Is this the greatest story ever? No. Does is come close?Yes. Can we stop for Ice Cream? Yes. I've a fondness for most of season 14. The style was different from before yet still retained the Hinchcliffiness without being so rooted in old horror movies as the previous season. Talons of Weng Chiang brought together everything that was right about Philip Hinchcliffe's tenure as producer while at the same time bringing in to sharp focus the different style the series would have for much of next season (though parts of it wouldn't have been out of place a year or two earlier). Talons of Weng Chiang has everything a good Doctor Who story needs. Good plot, dialogue, direction, design, acting, effects. And each one of these ingredients is in abundance. It's also the only Doctor Who story you could accuse of featuring racist language (even the Bigots in Remembrance of the Daleks spoke with a degree of restraint). Though unfortunately it adds to the realism. The production team these days speaks of aiming for the romantic depiction of the era rather than the harsh reality but the squalor and poverty were talked about and shown to a lesser extent. The only romantic allusion was that no one commented on the smell in the sewer or that Leela was not covered in effluent when she fell in. "It's a bit nutty..." The cast are excellent and even John Bennet as Chang is acceptable as he plays the character with dignity and is helped by the efforts of the make up department. No squinting here thank you very much. Michael Spice as Greel has a voice that carries his madness through the mask, even though he sounds so very much like an angry David Collings it's not funny (i.e. Vorus). Deep Roy as Sin (I call him, Mini Me) is an interesting creature and at least we are spared his death acting (Apparently the joke on Blake's 7 was that he always crossed his eyes when he died. The Director whould ask hime not to do it, Roy would agree then promptly repeat his performance). He does manage to bring life into a role that could have been fairly thankless in the wrong hands. Of course Jago and Litefoot are another of Holmes' great double acts. Louise Jameson is ever watchable as Leela and never falls into the trap of other, shall we say, 'simple' companions of understanding practically everything within one episode of joining the Doctor. Of course, this was at the end of Tom Baker's third season with the show and Deadly Assassin had proved that the series had become "The Tom Baker Show" in all but name. Roger Delgado may have played the Master but Tom Baker IS the Master. No matter how good the other Doctors were, none was this good as often. Things is, It was Robert Holmes' who made Baker's Doctor. And after Holmes leaves, Baker's dialogue became less menacing and a lot more frivolous Can I find anything wrong here? Not a lot. David Maloney's direction is excellent (though he does have a history of one excellent, one average) and it's as much his swansong on the series as was Hinchcliffe's. Talons of Weng Chiang is one of those 70's shows that still holds up exceedingly well over twenty years later.
SEASON FIFTEEN
HORROR AT FANG ROCK When I first saw this story in 1984, I hated it. It's set in a lighthouse for Sylvester's sake! How could this be a DOCTOR WHO story when there were no corridors? Five years later, I caught a repeat on SuperChannel in Europe and my opinion hadn't changed much (though I was waiting for a BLAKE'S 7 episode that I had never seen before). When the ABC last showed it, I watched it- properly. And guess what? I loved it. This was a stop- gap cheapie whipped up by Tewwance Dicks when his first Witch Lords script was postponed (later to become State of Decay) by the Beeble. What, a lighthouse? Some have said it was Holmes' revenge on Dicks for having the Middle-Ages foistered apon him for the Time Warrior. Horror of Fang Rock's troubles didn't end there. With London studio's unavailable, it was filmed by a crew who had ever worked on DOCTOR WHO before as it was made 'oop north' in Birmingum (sick). Thing is, they really wanted to work on DOCTOR WHO and made a concerted effort to produce a quality product. And that's exactly what they gave us. The script is tight with lots of character development (not in the STAR TREK: THE NEXT GENERATION method of stopping the story for a cry), superb acting and direction and fantastic filmed sequences (both live-action and miniature). This is everything Ghost Light wasn't. All of the supporting cast perform well, but Tom Baker and Louise Jameson are in top form. Leela (even covered up) still has my vote for one of the best companions of all time but Tom Baker's ego apparently put paid to suggestions she stay on at the end of the season. A great duo. The rest of the cast are also excellent so I won't bother to wax lyrically about their performances. Suffice it to say, they're all excellent. 'What's the matter?' I hear you murmuring, 'Doesn't the bastard see the crap CSO or the terrifying blob of Aeroplane Jelly that kills everyone in sight?' Well yes, the blue screen is atrocious in one or two scenes, and what makes things worse, it's only needed in the first few minutes of episode one. The rest of the story could have made do just with a black cloth and smoke for the light house scenes. The shots of the Doctor hanging off the side of the lighthouse is acceptable, not so a similar shot of the Rootan doing likewise. In the words of Grant Naylor, the siamese creators of Red Dwarf, 'It looks pony.' The Rutles, mortal enemies of the Sontarans, look similar to one of those citronella candles you light up to keep mozzies away from a Bar-B-Q. Its terrifying tentacles engender all the tension of a massage. With the story made in Birmingham instead of London and crewed by people more used to covering football than aliens, the tremendous enthusiasm makes up for any shortfalls (You can always tell a story crewed by unenthusiastic people, it's the crap one. On paper, Fang Rock is a loser. Last-minute script, unfamiliar crew, no location, cheap monster, limited sets meaning limited scope for action. But on video, it's marvellous. Something to look out for, the boom microphone can be seen sliding past the Rutan mother ship as the Doctor and Leela evacuate the Lamp Room. RATING- Better than SUPER CAR but not as good as FIREBALL XL5. I'll give it a STINGRAY (P.W.O.R.) THE INVISIBLE ENEMY "ContactTM has been made" "See through, tinted or wood finish?" This is the first story with a distinct 'Graham Williamsy' feel to it- ambitious space opera let down by cheap special effects or indifference by the production team. And I love it. There is much to laugh at in this story just as there is much to revel in. Let's start with the goodies (not Tim, Bill and Graeme). The story has lots of diverse elements to it, all interesting. You have the invasion, the miniaturisation, the battles, Leela 'Reject', ambitious model work and video effects- the last two, in particular, show the improvements in that area compared to, say, Season 13 only two years previous- The TARDIS doesn't wobble unconvincingly on a string (well, not in EVERY scene), the shuttle is not a shaky lamp shade or vacuum cleaner attatchment. Some of the model shots don't work but many do (a ratio of 70:30 in favour). The gun battles are a good try but Deady Assassin did the same effect better the year before, if in smaller volume (the one area where Underworld is actually quite good is its laser opticals). But there's a lot of action, particularly when K-9 stumbles into the scenery. We all know about that shoddy wall effect, something for which there really is no excuse. But the blue screen effects in the Bi-al Foundation's monitors are near flawless, even K9's monitor displays something despite the myth that it never worked. The acting is only average, with Tom Baker doing his best "Jim Kirk possessed" while Michael Sheard puts in another good performance (in the days before he kneed Ace in the groin) though his costume reminds one of Elvis. Perhaps, instead of 'Contact has been made,' they should have said, 'Thank you. Thank you very much.' Frederick Jaeger returns after his bout in the excreable Planet of Evil to put on a silly accent and sillier glasses, but the rest of the ensemble are a little flat (though not overly wooden). This is also where Leela begins to lose her character, with the writers having her set the TARDIS controls hours after she practices writing her name in joined-writing. The occasions when Louise Jameson drops out of character (just wait for Invasion of Time) harm Leela, but to not to any great degree (she's not Adric, but then Ms. Jameson is not Matther Waterhouse, thank god). The cloning plot, which I remember from my childhood in about 1979 or 80, is mostly well done with unusually effective blue screen segments (along with the odd dud). There is the hilarious scene of Leela being attacked by either giant testicles or hairy midget 'Rovers' (Lowe's clone should have said the password- "Schizoid Man"). The whole thing is a lot of fun- not so much Fantastic Voyage, more Everything You Wanted to Know About Sex but where afraid to Ask. The end of the sequence sees the Doctor's clone confront the Prawn cocktail in a tear duct decorated by English soccer fans. Is it any wonder Tom Baker pissed himself on seeing the Virus Nuclei on his 'Years' tape? It has all the credibility and believability of Paul Keating making a promise. Episode 3 is a masterpiece of padding as the entire 25 minutes takes up about nine minutes of real time but not to a noticeable extent. You're thinking I've left something important out, keep reading. Lots of older fans maintain they despise K-9. Yeah right, and I bet they had K-9 bog-paper when they nine. That sort of snobbery at something kids liked in what has almost always been aimed at younger people is what makes Doctor Who fandom more volatile than any other group of fans. That and meths. This a story I can appreciate while despising Image of the Fendahl which follows. It has quite a few bad points (mostly in production values, or lack thereof) but many more good points (even corrupted English spelling for 3000 years in the future). A good try that could have been better with a more experienced director. RATING: DW meets ER THE SUNMAKERS A Douglas Adams story before Douglas Adams. Robert Holmes is at his most satirical and a fantastic script it is too. Although there are a number of cheap sets and cheaper costumes, the whole thing has a similar feel to an early episode of Blake's 7 (which would start not long after this was made). The fact director Pennant Roberts, who would work on many early Blake's 7 eps cast Michael Keating in that series should not be lost on Blake fans who should think of this as Pre-Roj. Tax jokes abound, enough to have accountants having personal accidents for weeks on end. But what boring twats like that would be doing watching DOCTOR WHO has never been satisfactorily explained to me. There does seem to be a lot of escaping while rescuing someone else who tried to rescue someone else in the process of getting captured whilst escaping; yadda, yadda, yadda... Any fool can understand that. But aside from that, it's the first and last episodes where there is any significant plot developments. Leela almost does her impression of boiled rice, the Doctor does his impression of a gassed badger, Dudley Simpson does his impression of a composer... The credit card is a hoot (fits snugly into any wallet, just so long as it is a one-tonner). The sets are so plain as to make the white void in The Mind Robber seem overly busy. The prop guns, too, have as much ergonomic value as a bean bag. In contrast, the Collector's office is a very nice set, even though it looks like several other sets redressed. Costuming is probably the only area of design that works in the story. On the whole, a lo-fat visual diet. One exception- a number of lascivious shots of Leela climbing down ladders in this story, perhaps unavoidable in light of her costume (and her character's function in regards the target audience). But I'm sure it won't please at least 50 % of fandom to see shots of her climbing down a ladder (but the other half probably wish they were Cordo as he followed her up the ladders later on). Speaking of Tom Baker (I wasn't, but I can't forget that image of Leela), he does his best 'save humanity from enslavement' routine. But then, what did we expect him to do? Would you like a jelly baby? Gatherer Hade (Richard Leech, how apt) is near-perfect as the brown-nosing, bureaucratic greedy-guts, but slimy honours go to Henry Woolf's sadistic Collector. Most believable by far is Roy Macready as Cordo. Usually, a character like Cordo (and there nearly always is one) is played by someone with no ability whatsoever (Gareth Hunt (not as Gambit), Jason Connery, Kevin McNally), but not here. Some of the other actors could have been given a drop of pure oxygen to losen them up a bit, but on the whole, the acting is acceptable. There don't seem to be an awful lot of video effects, but what little there is works well. Special effects consist of the aformentioned steam, gas and gun flashes. Production wise, the film looks very good, compared to the harsly-lit and plain studio interiors. It wasn't an overly ambitious script, but the budget crunch of the era hit this production hard. Compared with what immediately followed, however, it's a success. DIVIDEND- 7 talmars out of petty cash. INVASION OF TIME Another one of those hastily written stories whose production was disrupted by strikes but one of the few that mostly works. And unlike Trial of a Timelord, this is a triumph over adversity. With the scheduled story scrapped at a late date, we had the producer and script editor banging this out in a very short space of time and unlike the finale to THE PRISONER, makes sense most of the time. Then the annual Cracker-Jack strike (a demarcation dispute between props and electricians) meant only one studio block would be afforded for six episodes of DOCTOR WHO. The extra film helps but most of you wouldn't realise many interiors (including the TARDIS console room) were recorded with Outside Broadcast equipment. Some sets like the Panopticon and the Doctor's chambers are beautiful to look at while others (The Castellan's office/ Chancellry) look poorly finished and cheap. You take the good with the bad. The use of OB cameras meant more intimate lighting than is possible in the studio and enhances the look. So it's not all bad. The acting is pretty good, except for the aliens (more about that latex later). John Arnatt gives possibly the definitive Borusa at the height of his sanity, the Time-babe Rodan could have been a proto-Romana, while Chris Tranchell's Andred is a fool (He was better in SURVIVORS). While I'm gushing, there are some rather substantial negative elements to the story: the villains. While Milton John's Kelner is a sublime brown-noser, the Vardans (in their transparent mode) are about as impressive as shimmering foil (oops, what a giveaway). What makes the effect even less imposing is the use of alfoil on the soundtrack as well. Who's going to take seriously warriors from the Comalco galaxy? The less said about their effeminate physical form, the better. But it isn't until episode five when the Sontarans actually speak that you think, 'Oh &*%#!. The actor who plays Stor (Derek Deadman- better known as the short idiot from NEVER THE TWAIN) gives us the first asthmatic Sontaran in the series' history while his deputy seems to be suffering from emphasyma (I had to check the end credits to make sure it wasn't Peter Davison). Deadman's hammy delivery is not helped by the terrible dialogue given to both (speaking) Sontarans, besides which I thought that's how the Ice Warriors speak. But the voices are only half the laugh. This is the first story that required more than one Sontaran costume and as such, all the helmets seemed to be constructed out of DAS or plasticine. When Stor takes off his helmet, I swear you can hear the laughter in the next state. Mister Potato-Head. Say what you will about Stike and Varsh from The Two Doctors (Their costumes may not have fitted, but their masks and voices weren't as crappy as Stor) but season 15 saw the Sontarans at their lowest ebb (even lower that the sphincter-heads that pass for them these days). Gai Smith, who played the speaking female Outcast, is now Gai Waterhouse, one of Australia's most successful horse trainers with a number of Melbourne Cup winners under her belt. She relates a story of Tom Baker having just broken up with a girlfriend and slept on BBC premises for a short time bringing all of his belongings with him. I usually hate the attempts at humour in DOCTOR WHO, but I cacked
myself during this one, even after the umpteenth veiwing. The humour works
when it doesn't interfere too much with the main threat. Invasion of Time
shows the Doctor at his most manipulative but in a believable way completely
dissimilar from the usual Cartmel mistreatment.
THE RIBOS OPERATION In fandom, there are two types of reactions to the opening story from The Key to Time arc of season 16. Those from people who like it and those from people who haven't seen it. Why hasn't it been at the top of polls I hear you ask? Well, golly. You'd be left out with the Pirate Planet and Stones of Blood snapping at your heels (A hard act to precede, but then the central premise of the programme is time travel). And how many studio-only shows get the attention they deserve?(Planet of Evil, Underworld, Horns of Nimon, Timeflight, Warriors of the Deep, Timelash, Happiness Patrol, Ghost Light- get the idea?). This is an exception to the indoor rule of crap. The acting is fantastic; the script, phenomenal; the effects astounding and the amount of hyperbole is astronomical. Those last points may have been slight exagerrations but on the whole Ribos Operation is quality DOCTOR WHO at its most subtle. The sets, borrowed from Anna Karenina, look spectacular (Which is more than can be said about Anna Karenina). They do not in any way look cheap, in the same way Androids of Tara would look cash-strapped a few stories later. The script, by Robert Holmes, is one of his. That's all you have to say about The Master (and I'm not talking about W.G. Grace). I know he is also responsible for the Krotons and the impending Power of Kroll (an honorary studio-bound story if ever there was one), but this is his last good 'un for several years. The dialogue is on the same level as The Sunmakers the previous season, but with less satirical humour and much better delivery by the cast. Iain Cuthbertson's Garrick, along with Glitz, is one of those Mudd-esque rogues you wish the Doctor had bumped into more frequently. The Graff Vinda K is spectacularly insane without being overly ham-strung, a creditable performance by the unfortunately named Paul Seed (Mary Whitehouse must have had a heart attack over the conotations). Sholack, Unstoffe, The Seeker (played by a heavily made-up Judith Durham) and Binro are all realised competently by the respective actors. Hell, even Prentis Hancock, who was so rotten in Planet of Evil Acting, makes a good fist of his character. This is the beginning of THE TOM BAKER SHOW era in earnest. He is having a great time, although Mary Tamm seems uncomfortable in her new surroundings, something not seen in a new companion since the sixties. After Leela, you couldn't cast another vixen in skin-tight clothes straight away (You had to wait until 1984 for another one of those). So we get Fred, or Romanadvoratrelunda as she insists on calling herself. When Ms Tamm got stuck into the role (in subsequent stories), she made a fantastic counter to the Doctor. Pity they couldn't reinstate some of the footage from the original edit of episode one. DOCTOR: (gobsmacked at Romana's beauty) She's stunning, K-9! K-9 : As you wish, Master. (extends nose laser and fires at Romana) ROMANADVORATRELUNDA: (Clutches stomach) Why? (falls to the ground) If you look closely, you can spot the edit. What is so refreshing about this story is that it is atypical Who where the Doctor isn't doing un-Doctorly things. Now say you're sorry for doubting me earlier. All right, I forgive you. The Doctor doesn't, however, get many good lines once they reach Ribos- they're reserved for Unstoffe and Garrick. And the sight of K-9 trying to get through the single open TARDIS door had me in stitches. What isn't so funny, and possibly the only thing spoiling this story, are the Shrievenzales (so named, because they look like one of Tim Finn's old, beer-stained suits). What appallingly cheap and uncheerful monster fare we would get this season! Four episodes of highly entertaining Doctor Who, not outstanding, but definitley worth buying. RATING: Earth- 2, Babylon- 5 PIRATE PLANET If Ribos Operation was the beginning of the TOM BAKER SHOW, The Pirate Planet is the beginning of TOM BAKER PISS-FARTS ABOUT FOR TWENTY-FOUR AND A HALF MINUTES. And with Douglas Adams as script writer, that's exactly what Tom Baker does over the course of four episodes of unnovelised WHO. Now, Australian fans can see all four episodes in their original forms for the first time in over 15 years. IT'S GREAT. (1) The sci-fi ideas are big and grandiose, but believable. (2) It's very funny. (3) The Captain (4) There is no (4). People love this show. Whether it's because of Douglas Adams' name on the credits or because fans tend to believe whatever someone else says. If the latter is true, send me money, send me money, send me money... It is both a typical and atypical Doctor Who. The structure and elements are a well used formula while the believable science and humour blend in very well (something that has rarely been achieved by anyone other than Adams). There's even the DOCTOR WHO stalwarts of young locals spurred into action, except they're not as wooden as usual (a la inhabitants of Metebelis 3, Aneth, Karfel, Planet of the Tree-People). 'Why, why, why, why?' one of them asks (Delilah?). But it's not the classic people have made it out to be. Zanak (Daryl F.) tends to be a rather underpopulated planet with five Mentiads per horde, four guards and half a dozen people in a crowd scene (as per standard BBC regulations), but another half dozen extras wouldn't have gone astray. The Captain is another blustery baddy who looks half Labor senator, half Borg; while the real Queen Citroen Xanxia's performance technique seems to be of the 'Conviction is only for Criminals' school of acting. The Captain's guards are typical faceless palace/ citadel guards/ soldiers that inhabit 90 per cent of DOCTOR WHO, while the Mentiads' make-up show that people with a high level of ESP don't get a lot of sleep. The best acting is from Uncle Tom, who alternates between extreme drama and extreme slapstick with the flick of a scarf. Mary Tamm seems more at ease with her character than she was in Ribos, though I still haven't made up my mind whether she was wooden or just playing aloof. Lastly, K-9's nose blaster has some peculiar new properties. 1) it can fire without making a noise 2) K-9 doesn't have to aim the weapon to hit someone. Harking back to K-9's dimensional difficulties with the TARDIS doors, I laughed when I saw him perched in the back seat of the Haines Hunter, er, air car. How the hell did he get there? Compared to the sci-fi shows of the previous season, the sets are nicely detailed with only the odd over overlit interior. One exception- the decor in Praelix's home is straight out of Better Pads and Gardens circa 1976. 'Simply screaming wallpaper!' For such an ambitious script, the downfall of the story seems to be the video effects. I'm not criticising the blue screen or the travelator or the air cars, but the gun battles. You can always tell a good Doctor Who by the quality of the gun battles, not as a means of violence but as a challenge to the visual effects department. Static gun battles, such as presented here, may make the electronic effects operator's life easier but with such slow editing, the whole thing looks as if the actors were given the day off and mannequins were used instead. Tighter editing would have been a solution, as would have more imposing video and sound effects (The latter are of the pissy 'blip' variety). Also, the Captain's guards, whom one would expect to have been trained in the use of their weapons, are rotten shots. They only manage to hit one Mintie over all four episdoes while characters such as Keemus and Romana have no difficulty in hitting targets first time without any prior military training or firearms experience. What a funny world Douglas Adams lives in? Another one of the story's more infamous aspects would have to be the Polyphase Jobbietron, so named because it tries to crap on K-9. Tasteless? So what? Astroboy used to shoot nine milimetre out of his arse. 'Oh no! My energy's running out! The ending is another bone of contention. What the #&c@ happened? The Doctor and Romana get into the TARDIS (without shutting the door), press some switches, a lot of Mirrorlon reflections later and the story is over. Technobabble endings may be fine for STAR TREK: THE NIXED GENERATION, but don't work too well in DOCTOR WHO. A legacy of Douglas Adams' radio work, perhaps? A nice touch was the Mentiad's throwing of the spanner in to the works, so to speak. If you've bought Ribos, you'll probably buy this. But be warned, the six Key to Time video covers have spines which form a montage when lined up. If you only wanted the good ones from this season, you may be forced to purchase Power of Kroll. Oh, Christ! The Mentiads are coming!! RATING- 100 minutes of that Bullamakanka song (and his trusty mate K-9) I wish they'd play at a con. THE ANDROIDS OF TARA Joint wooden spoon with POWER OF KROLL. On paper, ANDROIDS OF TARA has a lot going for it- Written by one of the series better writers, David Fisher; Utilising a classic concept and introducing a sci-fi element; Sets and costumes that could've been gained from stock or hired; Locations that were imposing without extra dressing or special effects, etc. These elements (apart from the locations) worked in well in THE RIBOS OPERATION, yet here work to the story's detriment. What went wrong? The biggest problem would have to be the acting. Acting really is too strong a word for some of the shi'ite passed off as performances. The main culprits: Prince Reynart and Swordsman Farrah (Fawcett?). Avery Brooks on prozac would be a good analogy to describe their miserable showings in the thespian attitude. The choice of forest locations meant it was hard to distinguish between these two and the trees. Madam Lamia and Count Grendel ( I really couldn't be stuffed looking up the actor's names, the story's not worth it), are' however: pretty; good, (What's with all the f^%#*g punctuation- Ed). There are enough doppelgangers to wave a pointy stick at. I hate doppelgangers- the exception being MEGLOS- and here we are treated to three different roles for Mary Tamm. Indeed, the only people who seem to like the idea are the more egocentric actors or the stupid ones who think they'll get more money out of it. Twins are one of the series most overused plot devices, particularly during the Tom Baker years (the period, not the video). At least the scenes of Romana and Strella aren't as dire as the robot Doctor in THE CHASE. Basically, a rule of thumb for judging the quality of a Doctor Who is to check first if the story has 'android' in the title. If it does, it's iffy to say the least. I didn't think Ms Timm Tamm's performance was up to match and even Tom Baker sucked. Let's face it, the BBC was jibbed. Why is this a forgotten story? Well, it's just so damned forgettable. Natalie Cole was not singing about this story (probably Talons of Weng Chiang) The sets look awfully tacky and cheap compared with Ribos Operation, the special effects put suicide in the viewer's mind and the costumes are as hideous as William Shatner singing Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds (from his dire album, the Transformed Man). If all Doctor Who stories were as rotten as this, then I'd say we were all really sad. But as the preceding story, Stones of Blood is so good, we aren't as pathetic as Androids of Tara certainly is. This is the first Doctor Who tape that I've bought the UK version of and I must give extra marks for the inside cover (97% of sell-thru videos in the UK come in transparent covers) which has all sorts of trivia of the story on each tape a la DS9/Voyager videos. And another of Doctor Who's ripoff stories. Save your money and watch the Stewart Grainger/ James Mason version of Prisoner of Zenda. But I love the ending of episode four. RATING- The Anodyne of Tara. Unprecedented but here's another one THE ANDROIDS OF TARA Is this Tom Baker's worst performance in Doctor Who? Written by David Fisher, whose abilities to write stories that would turn out to be either very good or very awful rival those of Robert Holmes, the production team has dished up a squishy, smelly one with Androids of Tara. The script is so obviously derivative of classics such as The Three Musketeers, The Count of Monte Christo and The Man in the Iron Mask, (though I can't think of a direct equivalent. Eh? What's that? Prisoner of Zenda, you say. Who asked you anyway?). Doctor Who cliche # 654: Doubles of the Doctor and/or Companion is combined with Doctor Who cliche # 482: Robot Duplicates of the Doctor and/or Companion to neatly dovetail into another cliche: Late 70's Crap. This story should have been good. It, like The Ribos Operation, required fixtures, costumes and props that wouldn't tax the BBC's resources like The Pirate Planet-where everything has to be built from scratch. But Androids just ends up looking cheap and naff. Direction is okay, but because the acting is of such poor quality and unguided, every positive aspect of the production is overshadowed by all the shit. They're wading in metres of it. The Prince is crap, his aides are crap, Romana is crap, the villain is very-runny-after-a-curry indeed, and Tom Baker- who you can usually rely upon to make garbage like Horns of Nimon and Creature from the Pit at least watchable- is so rotten. He's not in the slightest bit amusing or witty or commanding, just an overbearing turd. I'm sorry if the scatological tone of the review has offended anyone but this story really is pure, unadulterated, freshly-laid crap . While Kroll might have the poor effect which gives it 'notorious' status, Androids of Tara is forgettable, which, in the end, is much worse. The one redeeming feature of the whole story is K-9's ultimate fate. RATING: Have hours of fun by using the tape to block the catflap and call 'Whiskas!' 3 steaming piles of (android) horse dung. THE POWER OF KROLL Power of Kroll is a Doctor Who story full of distinct halves. There's the Swampy half and there's the Refinery Half. There's the Key to Time half and the colonial exploitation storyline. And then there's the bottom half of the screen with the live action and the top half dominated by the model Kroll. The joins are the important bit and the joins are visible. The most memorable aspect of the story is the bad split-screen, forced on us by a smart-arse cameraman, means everything else is blotted out. Apart from Kroll of course, it's not a bad show. The swampies are probably the best primitive tribe ever to be seen on the show with useful performances. It might just be me, but at school, all the Swampies I knew had pallid white complexions and wore all-black clothes. The refinery crew are pretty dull bigots, but then, aren't all bigots dull? But the actor playing Thawn has a big head! Could you imagine him playing the Terileptil android? Philip Madoc, John Abineri, Glyn Owen and John Leeson in person help to flesh out the cast, which is probably the best thing going for the production. Anyway, in a story labelled Power of Kroll, you'd expect the eponymous creature to be something that is 'All that' but in the end turns out to be 'That All?' Compared to Androids of Tara, this is even more white and crumbly. RATING: You've passed wind in a lift and one of the others is a telepath THE ARMAGEDDON FACTOR After twenty episodes, it had to happen. The Key to Time season must come to an end and there are still many unanswered questions. What's good and what's not? What's padding and what's running up and down studio corridors? What's a tautology? How you can tell the Shadow wants to steal the first five segments of the Key to Time? (He has a stocking over his face). Where do you start? Episode One? Too easy. In the interests of brevity... (1)The plot has so many holes, Merak even falls in one. The sets are mostly good, with the exception of the caves (Didn't the series have a problem with caves in the late 70's?). Acting-wise: John Woodvine and Barry Jackson are the stand-outs. The rest of the cast are more standees. The model work is an improvement but video effects (guns and transmat) don't compare favourably with the rest of the season. It's swings and roundabouts in that regard with every story this season. Tom Baker gives, how shall I put this, an inconsistent performance. His scenes with the Marshall and Drax are a delight and he plays the final scene wonderfully but it all goes to prove the worth of casting decent actors for him to spark against. But then, Mary Tamm could just stand there and be watchable. (There's a nasty comment, but I won't make it. Will you think it?). The future Mrs Baker makes her debut fairly unspectacularly but at least she starts off as Romana with confidence next season. Willam Squire, Callan's first colour Hunter and Horizon's Kommisar, is a good actor with a bad-ass mask. As for the climax, although the last scene is performed nicely it still doesn't work Some good bits, some dull 'uns but it's one of those stories you can enjoy only every couple of years. But you do enjoy it. RATING- I gave it a three at first, but then I gave it a three and a half because all epics are padded by their nature. A Doctor Who by Gossard. DESTINY OF THE DALEKS The last time terry Nation wrote a Dalek script
for Doctor Who he came up with the brilliant Genesis of the Daleks (though
Robert Holmes may have had a hand in this triumph). His last script for
the show was Android Invasion which, as we all know, was shash. Destiny
of the Daleks managed to bask in the shadow of the fromer with all the
quality of the latter. in otherwords, it is also shash, but shash that
had potential.
SHADA
RATING: They Shada known better
THE LEISURE HIVE JNT's tenure as Producer bursts onto screen with more changes than Bohemian Rhapsody. New emphasis on science fiction rather than silly adventure romps, renewed vigour in the production of the show and of course the new titles and theme tune. Change, and not a moment too soon. John Nathan- Turner had Christopher H Bidmead as his new offsider and what a difference a good script editor can make. David Fisher's previous scripts had all been top notch but with the new found determination to allow all facets of production to shine means this story succeeds on most levels. The story is interesting, with a number of interesting scientific concepts- all of which are complete bollocks but delivered in such a straight way that it's all believable. Even the few jokes that were left in are funnier without so much competition. The direction from Lovett Bickford is probably some of the series best, rivalled by such classics as Spearhead from Space, Caves of Androzani and Remembrance of the Daleks (all stories which marked some major change in the way Doctor Who was made) Every avenue of the production shines from costumes, sets, make-up and especially video effects (an incredible leap forward from the previous season, which was itself a step above those seen in previous years). But it would all be for nowt if the acting was wooden. Thankfully, the acting is so good that combined with everything else makes this a story which has dated very little. There's nothing embarrassing about The Leisure Hive. David Haig in probably his only turn as an intelligent villain is excellent, something you can rarely say about a young actor in the bad guy role. Adrienne Cori's performance is also excellent, lending Mena the dignity demanded by the script. Brock is also good, despite the conceit that a Foamasi can fit inside a much slimmer human costume. I've heard of sucking it in but the pudgy reptiles need gutbusters more than most SF fans. Baker and Ward have put away the absurdities and double-takes of season 17 and despite the seriousness of the proceedings, Baker still manages to inject some humour, though this time the jokes don't detract from the rest of the story. The music is excellent. Peter Howell's incidentals, apparently inspired by Ravel and Holst, fit the surroundings but not in an obtrusive way (watch some episodes of the Sweeney where synthesizers were used to provide accompaniment and you'll see what I mean). The Radiophonic Workshop's new role as providing incidentals, sound effects and the theme song would be a winning combination for most of the stories of the early 80's. The new arrangement of the theme is one of the best, equal perhaps to the original and intriguing in its own right. Unlike the last two versions of the theme, it's still impossible to recreate those sounds on a synthesiser. The Leisure Hive is one of the best stories of one of the best seasons. Doctor Who's (Tom Baker's too) renaissance was at hand. MEGLOS
FULL CIRCLE Full Circle is probably the archetypal season 18 story. There's not much japing going on, the performances are all serious and measured, the ideas are based on grand concepts unique to SF and K9 is put out of action. It also adds depth to Romana's character showing us for the first time why a Time Lord wouldn't want to return to Gallifrey after having travelled with the Doctor on his adventures. The start of the E Space trilogy brings much promise, most of which was delivered. Alzarius with its Starliner was a great setting for a story. The first two episodes introduced us to all these new story elements, some of which didn't appear to merge with what was going on, but by the end of episode four, everything had fallen into place. Excellent. The characters really make this story. There are the deciders, Dexeter, the outlers and Adric. Ahhhh, Adric. You know, established theory is that actors get better with age. They mature, the have more experience, they learn new techniques to better portray their characters. How fitting it is that a program about time travel should feature an actor who starts off all right and progressively gets worse and more unwatchable as time goes on. Adric is all right in this story and actually quite good for most of this season. It's just we all know his character was so uneven in season 19's stories. With an older Doctor, Adric's character has more for the writers to latch on to but I think Christopher Bidmead had a better handle on Adric than either Antony Root or Eric Saward, hence the inconsistencies. Anyway, he's not bad in this but Varsh is better and would have made a better character. Actor Richard Willis certainly knew his stuff, though his offsider Tylos is a total whinger. George Baker is watchable as ever as the Decider who decides to stop procrastinating and actually see a decision through. The story has a quality feel from the soundtrack to the location work to the actors. The script is tight apart from some of the running around corridors in episode four, but then this is Doctor Who. It's also a short story (about 22 mins for a complete episode with titles and recap!) so it's tighter than most. A tricky balancing act is to give all the companions something to do, a problem alleviated by putting K9 out of commision. The circle was very full and it was a type of story that should have been attempted in the late 80's STATE OF DECAY
WARRIOR'S GATE One of the weirdest Doctor Who stories that contains parts that still don't make sense after a dozen or so viewings nearly 20 years after it was first aired. What is it with white voids? Stylish to a fault, Warrior's gate is Doctor Who at its most challenging unlike season 26 which was Doctor Who at its most challenged. The plot is fairly simple, an element that contributes greatly to the overall success given the complex concepts on offer to viewers, most of whom wouldn't know a Laser from a Pulsar (unless they live in Australia and drove one). The cast are excellent (I've run out of superlatives to describe the actors featured in this season, so why bother to use a thesaurus). I can't name one who's particularly bad and they do a great job of portraying a weary crew of a ship where morale is so far through the floor that cages with dead canaries are evident. Clifford Rose as Rorvick is mostly excellent as a trader who's forced to turn into a military leader but then goes loopy with frustration. That laugh at the end is so pathetic. The Tharils are the most intersting thing in the story of course despite Paddle Pop lion conotations. And it's nice to see Kenneth Cope (Randalland Hopkirk Deceased) in work. THE KEEPER OF TRAKEN
LOGOPOLIS
K-9 and Company 1995 was not a fantastic year for Doctor Who releases. It wasn't that bad, but there really aren't many great stories left to release. With Earthshock, Remembrance of the Daleks and Tomb of the Cybermen spoken for, BBC Vid has finally pulled out A Girl's Best Friend- the pilot to the proposed K9 and Company series. There's lots to interest the fan with Elisabeth Sladen reprising her role as Sarah Jane Smith and John Leeson back as the voice of K9. It starts off with a theme tune that could best be described as being from 'one of the less pleasant areas of Hell.' Ian Levine co-wrote this abomination and yet he still expects fans to sing his praises for rescuing The Daleks from the BBC archive purge of the 70's. I'm sorry old 'chap' but with this tune, all bets are off. We get into the story and it's about, oh Jesus, pagans. To quote n. But these pagans happen to comprise about 95% of the village, and indeed, the cast. That's why no one complained about the missing virgins. In comes a grumpy Sarah-Jane her aunt's young ward, Hooter, er, Brendan (Adric Lite). He's a smart arse who knows almost as much as K9 so why not just give him a laser nose and save John Leeson the trouble of crawling on the floor for rehearsals? Sarah, complete with strange costume (There's no truth to the rumour than Sarah-Jane's costume originally didn't include the pants), runs around in her Maestro cabrio accusing everyone of being pagans. There's the mandatory red herring of Juno and her hubby, who act way too suspiciously throughout but in the end turn out to be the good guys. They're so creepy, I'd rather let the pagans cover me in toilet paper and slaughter me than accept a drink from Juno. Bill Fraser, fresh from Meglos is the one you think is a good guy but in the end is a bad guy. This is Basic Instinct without the nudity, lesbians, sex scenes or flaccid knobs but with a tin-dog, annoying adolescent, Uptight Sarah Jane who has recently given up smoking and a flaccid script. This rather torquey story twists and turns like an epileptic snake suffering from withdrawl symptons. To sum up: trite story, false baddies, Adric Lite. Diabolic is as diabolic gets and the theme tune sure is diabolic. And the theme is an overall metaphor for the programme itself. K9 and Company is diabolic in so much that it is both dire and a load of bollocks. K- Nein! RATING- one pair of rapping lips |