PILOTS     SEASON ONE       SEASON TWO      SEASON THREE
ratings (relative to ALL Star Trek hence the fairly high scores for seasons one and two)
***** I would kill every last one of you to watch this again    **** excellent    ***good    **mediocre    * poor

Where No Man Has Gone Before ****
(TV Guide misprint: What is under Xena's skirt?)
Despite the changes between this and the series, the second pilot is closer to the series we love and on its own is very good. A little rough around the edges but excellent.
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The Corbomite Maneuver ****
(
The first bona fide classic of the series and the first bottle show. Corbomite maneuver is witty, tense, intelligent and interesting despite the fact that almost nothing happens (quite common in shows with a lot of potential but the producers need to feel their way slowly at first, sea Quest, Lois and Clark, Quantum Leap, etc.)
Great characterisations, almost as if the cast have been playing them for years (almost but not quite). Nimoy is still finding his ears, so to speak (even though he's been with the show from the start, Spock's character changed with every draft. De Forest Kelly, however, nails McCoy in his first appearance. Shatner is classic Shatner and that's all that matters.

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Mudd’s Women **
Typical 60's hoke with middle-aged men's fantasies masquerading as science fiction drama. Mudd's women isn't all that interesting, is probably the most sexist Trek but not a particularly sexy one, either. Mudd isn't the lovable rogue his reputation would suggest (that's mostly from I, Mudd), more the roguishness is a cover for a nasty piece of work. Not a lot to recommend.
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The Enemy Within ***
The first transporter malfunction show and since it is the first time, it works. Of course, it has its holes and is a little silly in places but good Kirk and evil Kirk doubles your Shatner pleasure. Apart from some poor production continuity (uniforms without insignia in some scenes, Kirk's scars changing sides, etc.), this is a true Trek classic in that it's a pop culture event, an episode that most people will understand references to. Of course, the biggest unaddressed problem is what a shuttle isn't sent to retrieve the away team...
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The Man Trap *
There aren't really any terrible episodes in the first season. Oh, yes there are and this is probably one of the worst (but not season three bad). Episodes like this betray it as  a child of the sixtes, with next to none of the sensibilities that marked out Trek as something above shash like that of Irwin Allen. This episode could have become a Lost in Space episode with only a little rewriting. And then, with no rewriting, would also make it on to Voyage to the Bottom of the Sea, Time Tunnel and Land of the Giants.

The Naked Time **
It would be an almost weekly event in the 90's for some alien element to change the way the crew act. But this was the first time it had been done and is still one of the best. Definitely better than the TNG remake Naked Now.

Charlie X ***
This is a classic. When you're just starting to get a Trek consciousness, you remember this episode over things like Requiem for Methuselah and Man Trap.

Balance of Terror ****
On the other hand, this is one of the season's finest hours. Trek was conceived as a western in space but any time is took the stories from classic movies rather than the from (takes elements from a submarine film rather than is a submarine film)

What are Little Girls Made Of? ***
Not the most successful episode but not the least. It's an average show but still manages to come up with a few interesting threads, even if the better ones were forgotten about.

Dagger of the Mind **
This is a pretty standard episode that isn't great, nor even funny. It shows us the mind meld for the first time to spectacular effect and the plot is spoofed in a great South park episode.

Miri ***
Probably one of the most adult Star Trek. They'd never use words like menstruation or testosterone. I only use them for dramatic purpose. Rather disturbing in places but all the while totally believable. This was banned in the UK for 20 years. Talk about squeamish.

Conscience of the King **
A few (very) minor pop culture events in this episode (Kodos being the name of one of the Simpsons aliens)

Galileo Seven ***
Spock's logic can't save them this time, nor can it deflect the criticism of angry humans. An engaging episode, even if the 'giants' are about as convincing as Bill Clinton denying he's had improper sexual relation with that woman. And despite his impeachment, I still believe he was telling the truth, just as I think these giants are one of the series finest alien creations...

Court Martial **
An interesting (if totally overuses idea in the 90's) in a pretty mundane episode. If this episode was a car, it would be one of those ones where the fuel tank explodes everytime you tooted the horn. For me the biggest contribution was the line "But that's not the way it happened" used in Cannibal the Musical.

The Menagerie I,  The Menagerie II ***
I find the Cage a chore to watch. If Star Trek had been turned into a series before Where No Man Has Gone Before, I doubt whether we'd be talking about in now almost 40 years later. But Menagerie is not a bad episode. Apart from Spock's behavior, you'd never guess the old footage wasn't shot especially.

Shore Leave ***
A strange episode that's very familiar to stories set on the holodeck. Some cute moments but nothing special. Location work really makes any show look great.

Squire of Gothos ***
Another template for recent trek series, and one followed closely when you look at Q's development. A pity they didn't re-use Trelane, but at least Bill Campbell was used again. Was I the only one who though Liberace was in this episode when they were young?

Arena ****
Testosterone! This is one of the classics that everyone knows. This is probably one of the most reused plots in other series but thankfully Trek has left this one alone. Space:1999 almost ruined this episode though the Blake's 7 version "Duel" was excellent.

The Alternative Factor *
What the F*ck is going on in this episode. I will offer a reward of *4 gazillion dollars for information leading to the understanding of what happens to whom when.
* offer expires 4/7/1907

Tomorrow is Yesterday ****
They don't call it Classic Trek for nothing. Great ideas and a great script with the first significant comedy elements in the series. And better still, it's all totally believable.

The Return of the Archons ***
This sort of story touching on the Prime Directive in dealing with an alien culture whose philosophy clashes with our own would be common-place in the second season but here it has the novelty of being the first time we'd seen the plot. But it was done much better the half dozen times it was tried next season. The first half is quite interesting but from the point they're locked in the dungeon, you start noticing yourself yawning.

A Taste of Armageddon ****
Another great idea, even if the idea of the people actually killing themselves is a little much (reminds me of the Suicide Booths in Futurama). Seems to me that at a time when computers were exclusively the preserve of accounts departments of major corporations, the government and NASA that a lot of Trek episodes dwelt on the audiences perceived techno fear. Especially since Trek inspired so many of the gadgets that we take for granted now. Practically everyone has a mobile phone (some even have the flip like a communicator) but he have the Palm pilot that looks almost identical to the version shown in the first pilot. I just wish they'd put the flip up the top so I could talk Shatner-style.

Space Seed ****
Khan! This is a great episode on its own but without it we'd be without the Wrath of Khan (more on the movie page). We finally get to see an old human starship, one that isn't just a glowing ball on screen. And we get to see one of the few predictions Trek made about their future/ our present to come anywhere near being correct. The Eugenics Wars were supposed to happen in the 1990's and many say that didn't happen but I'd point to a phenomena known as Ethnic Cleansing in the various conflicts in Yugoslavia and in Chechnya and perhaps in Rwanda. We didn't get supermen just super-duper egos fueling nastiness.

This Side of Paradise ****
Spock and Leila,
sitting in a tree,
m-i-n-d-m-e-l-d-i-n-g
A nice change of pace, not exactly threat free but a different episode and a credit to Dorothy Fontana, who probably brought more sensitivity to Trek in her few scripts than all of Jeri Taylor's interfering.

The Devil in the Dark ****
Gene Coon's biggest contribution to the series was this story. For the first time, the piece of rolled-up carpet designed by Wah Chang was not some evil man-eating monster motivated only the script's need for a black-hat.

Errand of Mercy ***
The Klingons. An excellent story with great characters, beautiful direction and tight script. The Organians are written so much better than most so-called primitive people in Star Trek. The late John Colicos totally kicks ass. Shatner and Nimoy kick ass. And No McCoy or Scotty (Seems strange to have Sulu in charge of the ship when under attack from the Klingons).

City on the Edge of Forever *****
This is incomparable. One of the best pieces of television ever and easily one of the five best pieces of television Trek (along with DS9's Children of Time and TNG's  Yesterday's Enterprise)

Operation Annihilate! **
This is the closest things the original series came to a clip show. TOS had very few occasions of cheap shows that were engaging to watch thanks to action adventure straightjacket. "Spock, remember the time when you lost all your inhibitions and cried like a little baby?"
"Indeed, Captain. It was a fascinating experience. And can you recall the occasion when your evil twin sexually harassed Yeoman Rand and she has to "go away?"

Catspaw *
This is truly a load of toad testicles. There is nothing to redeem this Halloween special at all.

Metamorphosis ***
A love story. Boy meets strange alien light creature is repulsed but can't look away. Looking at Cochrane here and in First Contact, it would appear that the Companion was lousy at putting Zephram back together again, though better than the Talosians.

Friday’s Child ***
Pretty silly stuff, better than a season three story but curiously lacking anything to hook the viewer. Julie Newmarr in her prime, perhaps the best reason to watch, and also a great performance from De Forest Kelly.

Who Mourns for Adonais? **
I don't.

Amok Time ****
A classic, not necessarily because it's a great script but because it gave real insight into Vulcans and their world. There were a lot of firsts for the series- the first time we saw other Vulcans, the planet itself and the hand greeting,  and of course it had THAT music.

The Doomsday Machine ***
This is a great idea episode but not enough to be considered a great episode but oddly enough it is a classic (the term refers to the fact something is still enjoyed by it's audience many years later). I suppose the bone of contention is William Windom doesn't conjure up an image of anything other than a washed out Captain. Still, some of the best opticals this season and more great music in an exciting bottle show. And also we get to see more  Constellation -class starships (Did we ever see any other sort in the original series?)

Wolf in the Fold ***
More woes for Scotty but at the end of the episode you still get the feeling that Scotty killed several women (perhaps under Redjac's influence, but it's never fully cleared up). The ending of a rather serious episode shouldn't be silly and that's exactly how this episode seems. And Robert Bloch wrote the book Psycho. Obviously the scene where Scotty dressed up as his mother was removed prior to filming.

The Changeling **
Yes it is The Motion Picture and yes it actually makes that seem worthwhile because this is an incredibly cheap episode and looks pretty atrocious. But the script is quite clever, showing up the feature film as totally underwritten (or re-drafted so many times that no one could tell what worked and what didn't). It shows Kirk thinking on his feet, something his character isn't given credit for but it was something William Shatner often latched onto before going Kirkillian.

The Apple **
A retread of Return of the Archons and What are Little Girls Made Of, and this episode is inferior to both of those episodes. It offers nothing new except impotent  Oompa-Loompas with thyroid problems.

Mirror, Mirror ***
Another classic idea episode that isn't great but is well-remembered by anyone who's ever seen it. Pity the idea was recycled several times in DS9 because it dilutes the ending of this episode every time you see it now.

The Deadly Years ***
Apart from the make-up, this wasn't an innovative idea but it was well done, even down to reusing stock footage to keep the budget in check. An interesting episode but go, didn't they overuse the whole trial/inquest/ court martial  concept in the first two seasons (this was the sixth time it was used - not including Arena)

I, Mudd ****
I never really thought Mudd's Women was that great but this show is a rare example of the sequel/follow-up being MUCH better than the original. Mudd is the lovable rogue we all think of unlike the plain scoundrel from his first appearance. The scenes where the Enterprise crew confuse the robots are some of the funniest ever scene in Trek though this episode is often forgotten when fans talk about funny Trek But then look at the next show.

The Trouble with Tribbles *****
Great. Funny and good, action packed excellent. No real exploration of characters but then they can't reveal their inner most insecurities every week.

Bread and Circuses ****
The Roman empire. Yes, the idea of parallel development was wearing very thin by this point but this episode is a treat to watch as it's almost a satire of early 60's American TV  as it was of the Roman Empire.

Journey to Babel ****
Spock's parents are introduced and something we weren't used to seeing in the 60's was that of a family unit that was anything but happy, though this was more out of pride than anything else. Lot's of new alien races, most won't ever be heard from again and of course, lot's of alien food made from play doh.

A Private Little War ***
Allegory it may be but it doesn't excuse Kirk's behavior. The strange thing is Kirk didn't need the leaf to feel horny.

The Gamesters of Triskelion ***
Not a great episode and almost a bad one, but it's just so much fun.

Obsession **
This one is also not a great episode, but it's not fun either.

The Immunity Syndrome **
Now you're just spoiling for a rumble. Considered an expensive show because of the opticals, it doesn't mean it's at all interesting, particularly when you consider the similarities to both Doomsday Machine and Obsession.

A Piece of the Action ***
More Schtick Trek, not as funny as Tribbles but contains Shatner at his best (Loaded Weapon was not his best). The only time I've laughed more at Shatner was when he played himself in Free Enterprise.

By Any Other Name ***
This could have been a mediocre episode. It has all the trappings of a hack episode but somehow it comes alive, with the performances getting you past the silliness with the polygons (that must have been a pretty crowded corridor, judging by all the polygons on the floor.

Return to Tomorrow ***
Risk is our business. If it wasn't for the convoluted ending, then this could have been a very good episode. As it is, merely good.

Patterns of Force ****
Oddly enough, this episode was never dubbed into German because it wasn't screened in Germany and Austria until recently and then it was subtitled. Strange seeing two Jewish actors wearing Nazi uniforms because you can't imagine the same thing happening today without a more thorough bagging of Nazism than was presented here (Which is only just up from Hogan's Heroes)

The Ultimate Computer ***
See, by you Linux is wonderful. A great idea but somewhat lacking. It's a very cheap show and even Kirk's feelings of redundancy don't make this as good as it could have been.

The Omega Glory ***
This was going so well until the constitution and the American flag and the racism came into things at the end. Obviously no better ending could be found so they came up with something that sucks more than the Black Hole (both the astronomical phenomenon and the 1979 Disney movie).

Assignment:Earth ***
It was a pilot for a TV show. Kirk and Spock do next to nothing but interfere in the action (almost like some early TNG episodes). It wouldn't have been a great series as the premise was too boring. Almost a case of "nice place to visit, but I wouldn't want to live there."
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Spectre of the Gun ***
(Working Title: Cheapo Western)
The rot hasn't set in. In fact all the good stories are in the first half of the season. Spectre of the Gun's style is mostly due to budget constrictions but in the context of the engaging script, it works. The new uniforms don't work and Shatner is FAT. He calls Spock "Science Officer" all the way through the teaser as if they had had a tiff.
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Elaan of Troyius ***
(AKA: The Bitch)
This one treads on territory familar with whole concept of a woman enslaving a man from shows like Mudd's Women and A Private Little War. Still, it has a lot to offer with a powerful Shatner performance and Francis Nguyen's Elaan a perfect foil for Kirk.
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The Paradise Syndrome ***
(AKA Kirk Forgets Himself)
A little sappy but an interestingly atypical Trek episode. Some interesting plot twists to the old amnesia gag and for once the episode takes place over a period of months.
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The Enterprise Incident ***
(AKA All Vulcans are Bastards)
Another classic though the last decent show for a few episodes. The Romulans were used a lot less than the Klingons yet are better developed and thankfully they have remained consistent over Trek's 35 year history. Some great moments.
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And the Children Shall Lead *
(AKA: We Give Up)
It is so sad to a once great series suddenly become such crap in the space of one episode. There is nothing to recommend
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Spock’s Brain *
(MEMO: Freddy believes Trek can't get any worse than last week. Let's show him)
Universally regarded by many (but not by me) as the worst episode, I regard it as bad, but hysterically bad, almost like a Batman episode. The laughter is what makes you watch a show like this. Just don't get too precious about Trek and you can make it through this. "Brain and brain! What is brain?" is a classic line.
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Is there in Truth No Beauty **
(Answer: No)
Not a bad show but a little mean on its characters
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The Empath *
(AKA: Pile of Shit)
Oh Jeez. More shit. Don't get me started.
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The Tholian Web ***
(MEMO: Shatner's uniforms have all split, how can we cover him up till we get some new ones from Big and Tall)
It's an entertaining episode with some interesting special effects. Almost a forgotten gem. It's a good solid Trek, something this season sorely lacks.
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For the World is Hollow and I have Touched the Sky ***
(AKA McCoy Gets Some Action)
In these days of every regular having a story to themselves, it's interesting to see that the third lead never really has a story to himself. This is probably the closet thing when a major plot point is the real McCoy. Some silliness descended from The Apple but some heart as in Paradise Syndrome. Not bad but remembered more for the pretentious title
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Day of the Dove ****
(Working Title: The Klingons Are Coming)
Easily the last great Trek episode. A great script with good actors in the Klingon roles and a well thought out plot makes this a bottle show that makes you forget about cost cutting (with all the opticals and extras, it probably wasn't that cheap). Casting is so important when you cast aliens whose makeup is limited to eyebrows and a fake tan and there are Klingons who made an impact (the ones who later reappeared in DS9) And some who didn't. Michael Ansara is certainly one of the former (And he was a slightly better Kane from Buck Rogers than Henry Silva)
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Plato's Stepchildren *
(Working Title: Socrates' Bastard Kids )
To me this eclipses Spock's Brain s the all time worst ever episode of Star Trek: Any generation. Evil and dire.
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Wink of an Eye ***
(AKA: Kirk, Fastest Lover in the Galaxy)
This is silly fun. Not a great episode but a fun one. It's typical season three Trek, but in a good way. Kirk sped up a thousand time's- every woman's nightmare

That Which Survives **
(MEMO: We have no script so make her skirt very short)
Lee Merriweather started out as a real actress who in the 60's was often cast in roles reserved for bimbos. Like Julie Newmarr (another catwoman), though unlike Ms Newmarr, managed to get past this. (Was Barnaby Jones really that much better)

Let that be Your Last Battlefield ***
(MEMO: Makeup tells us we have a surplus of white foundation and black grease paint)
A good message delivered with all the subtlety of the script for Armageddon.

Whom Gods Destroy **
(AKA: Star Crazy )
Pretty dull stuff. And stupid. Feels almost like a first season TNG story.

The Mark of Gideon  **
(Working Title: The Bottomless Barrel)
Stooo-pid. Yes, the planet is terribly overcrowded, but let's make a complete replica of a huge starship to convince Kirk in infect them all.

The Lights of Zetar **
(AKA: Scotty's Chick Repellant )
Scotty must have a strange effect on women as anyone he's ever been attracted to either ends up dead, or taken advantage of by a God or possessed. Maybe it's the finger.

The Cloud Minders *
(Working Title: World's Ugliest Woman, Film at Eleven)
I though Geordi was supposed to be blind. Spock calls Droxana a work of art when instead the word 'woof' might be more appropriate. Someone's rectum is getting a good workout with so many of these shows sucking arse.

The Way to Eden *
(AKA The Road to Hell)
Oh my god. Drivel is not too harsh a word to describe this episode

Requiem for Methuselah **
(AKA: The Tenth Rate)
Oh my God. This is such a piece of bilge. The premise is stupid and treads so much old ground- the long lived alien who helps Earth history along, the robot who doesn't know they're a robot, jealousy, etc. Still sucks major arse.

The Savage Curtain **
(AKA: Please God, Strike Me Down)
When you get to the bottom of the barrel, what do you scrape then?

All Our Yesterdays **
(Working Title: Scripts? We Don't Need No Stinking Scripts!)
Great name for a soap parody. Pity this episode is almost a parody of season one and two Trek. It might have worked with a lot more work on the script to iron out the huge plot holes.

Turnabout Intruder **
(AKA Kirk Fondles own Breasts)
Back when finale episodes were rare, this was the final episode of Classic Trek. It was the end of the line as far as the cast went. Nimoy went on to Mission Impossible for a while, Shatner bummed around in regional theatre, TV guest shots and really bad low budget movies and the rest....

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