Gillian hummed to herself as she took the curlers out of her hair. It was Saturday afternoon, and Ryan was supposed to be picking her up soon. She was really excited about the wedding. She was hoping that it would remind Ryan of their own wedding.
Gillian smiled as she brushed her hair. She thought back to her wedding. Even when she had thought that she was marrying Scott, she hadn’t been able to stop thinking about Ryan kissing her and caressing her. Then he had showed up at the chapel and carried her to the hunting lodge. Ryan had professed his love to her and begged her to marry him.
It had been a lie then, Gillian thought. She remembered the day that Ryan had admitted that Liza had forced him into the marriage. Her heart had shattered into a thousand tiny pieces. She realized now that she had already been in love with Ryan, otherwise it wouldn’t have mattered so much.
None of that mattered now. Gillian stared at the wedding ring on her finger. Ryan had professed his love to her on Christmas, and he had meant it. Then he had made love to her and made her feel like the luckiest woman in the world.
“Then, I screwed up again,” Gillian told her reflection.
She had made a lot of mistakes, and they had nearly cost her everything. But Ryan still loved her. Gillian recalled the other day in Liza’s office when he had said those magical words. She could have floated away from happiness. Ryan had cautioned her that he still wasn’t sure they could make it. But Gillian saw things differently. He had given her hope, and that was all she needed.
“We’re going to be together soon, Ryan, my darling,” Gillian muttered.
She reached for her lipstick. Ryan was going to be arriving soon, and she wanted to look her best.
* * * * *
“I’ll let Mrs. Lavery know that you’re here,” the maid said.
“Thanks,” Ryan replied.
He anxiously paced the living room and hoped Gillian would hurry. He didn’t like being in this house. Ryan felt like it had been centuries since he had lived here. He didn’t remember what it was like to feel comfortable there. Instead, he remembered Kit Fischer accusing him of rape. He remembered Jack and Edmund turning against him while Gillian and Hayley came to his defense. The Crystal Ball flashed into his mind. Ryan thought about how happy he had been with Gillian. They had finally found their way back to one another. Then he had gotten arrested for rape, and everything had fallen apart again. There were just too many bad memories.
Ryan sighed and tried to will Gillian to hurry. He didn’t want to be there any longer than he had to be. Ryan was relieved when he heard footsteps on the stairs. He turned, expecting to see Gillian and came face to face with Edmund instead.
“Ryan, how are you?” Edmund asked.
“Good. Yourself?” Ryan replied.
“Good, thanks.”
There was enough tension in the room to cut with a knife. After the truth had come out about the rape, Edmund had apologized. Ryan had accepted, but he still couldn’t forgive Edmund for turning on him so quickly. It was something that Ryan was not going to forget.
“Are you here for the wedding?” Edmund asked. He had offered the Wild Wind chapel to Tad and Dixie. He was still trying to repair his friendship with Tad after the rape incident.
Ryan nodded. “I’m waiting for Gillian,” he explained.
“Well, I’ll leave you alone. Enjoy the wedding,” Edmund added.
“Thanks, you too.”
“Ryan.”
Ryan turned at the sound of Gillian’s voice. She glided into the room wearing a sexy silver dress. She smiled suggestively at her husband.
“I hope I didn’t keep you waiting long,” Gillian said.
“No. It hasn’t been that long,” Ryan said.
Gillian nodded. “I thought I heard Edmund’s voice. Were you talking?” she asked.
“A little,” Ryan admitted. She was standing awfully close to him, and the scent of her perfume was making it hard to concentrate.
“Things will work out,” Gillian promised. She stroked Ryan’s chest. “Should we go?” she asked.
“Yes,” Ryan said. He barely managed to choke out the word.
“Let’s go,” Gillian said. She linked her arm through Ryan’s.
“Okay,” Ryan said.
The two of them walked across the grounds to the chapel. Most of Pine Valley was gathered there. They took their seats and waited.
Gillian leaned close to Ryan. “Do you remember when we were married here?” she asked.
Ryan remembered. He had looked back on this day so many times. Sometimes he considered it the happiest day of his life, and other times he wished it had never happened.
“I remember,” he whispered back.
Gillian spotted David enter the chapel and scowled. Who would invite him to a wedding? He hoped he wouldn't see them.
“Gillian.”
“Huh?” Gillian realized Ryan was staring at her.
“I asked you if Mateo and Hayley were coming. I don’t see them,” Ryan said.
Gillian nodded. “They’ll be here. Hayley is in the wedding,” she said.
“Mr. and Mrs. Lavery, how nice to see you again.”
Ryan and Gillian both glared at David. He wasn’t phased in the slightest.
“Who invited you?” Gillian demanded.
“I’m Dixie’s doctor, I saved her life. I think that entitles me to an invitation,” David remarked.
“Yeah, that might be, but that doesn’t mean you get to bother us. Get lost Hayward,” Ryan said.
David smiled. “You had better watch that temper, Ryan. You wouldn’t want to cause a scene. Gillian,” he added before he walked away.
“I hate him so much. I should have pumped him full of lead when I had the chance,” Gillian muttered.
Ryan patted her hand. “Calm down, princess. We’re here for Tad and Dixie,” he reminded her.
Gillian clasped Ryan’s hand in hers. “I know that.” Gillian was so sick of David turning up every time she turned around. There was no way that Ryan would ever forgive her if they kept seeing David all over the place.
* * * *
After a beautiful ceremony, the guests headed for the ballroom. Tad and Dixie were on top of the world.
“Wasn’t that a great wedding?” Hayley asked. She had joined Ryan and Gillian at their table.
“It was nice. Dixie looked beautiful,” Gillian said.
“Tad’s still got that silly grin on his face,” Ryan commented.
“Hey guys.” Mateo came over to join them. “I’m going to steal my wife for a dance if you don’t mind.” He helped Hayley out of her chair and led her to the dance floor.
Ryan watched them. They looked so happy, like they didn’t have a care in the world. They were so in love. Even though they had their share of problems, the bond between them was stronger than ever.
He glanced at Gillian and wished he could say the same about their marriage. Every problem they had just widened the wedge between them. Ryan wasn’t sure that they would ever be able to close that gap. But that was what he wanted more than anything. He ached for Gillian. He would reach for her at night, and she wouldn’t be there. Other nights, his dreams were so vivid that he could feel her skin against his when he woke up in the morning. He longed for her laugh and for her smile and for her cute way of butchering the English language.
“Ryan.”
“What?” Ryan snapped back into reality.
“Sweetheart, are you all right? You seem so far away,” Gillian commented.
“I’m here,” Ryan said. And so was she, he realized. Gillian was right there in front of him, patiently waiting for forgiveness. Ryan wondered if she was in as much pain as he was.
“Ryan?” Gillian was worried. She couldn’t read the expression on his face, but he seemed so far away.
“I’m okay, Gillian.” Ryan stood up and extended his hand to her.
“Dance with me,” he said.
Gillian placed her hand in Ryan’s and allowed him to lead her to the dance floor. But Ryan bypassed the dance floor, and brought her out onto the terrace.
Gillian was confused. “Ryan, I thought you wanted to dance,” she said uncertainly.
“I do. With you, not with everyone else,” Ryan explained.
He gently put his arms around Gillian’s waist and pulled her body against his. Gillian put her arms around Ryan’s neck and stared into his blue eyes. She recognized the way he was looking at her, like he loved her and desired her. Gillian thought it was probably too good to be true.
As they began to sway to the music, Ryan pulled Gillian even closer to him. Their bodies were pressed firmly against each other. Ryan gently began to caress her back. Gillian closed her eyes and rested her head against his heart. She felt like she was in a dream. If she was, she didn’t want to ever wake up.
The music stopped, but Ryan didn’t let go of her. Instead, he toyed with her hair.
“You’re so beautiful, Gillian,” he muttered, half to himself.
Gillian’s eyes met his again. “You’re beautiful Ryan. More than any fairy tale prince could ever be,” she whispered back.
“Oh Gillian.”
Ryan stroked her cheek and Gillian closed her eyes and waited.
She didn’t have to wait long to feel Ryan’s lips on hers. The kiss was soft, but it was filled with energy and passion. Gillian felt a rush of electricity through her entire body. She tightened her grip on Ryan, and deepened the kiss.
Ryan responded eagerly. The heat running through his body made his head pound, but he didn’t care. All that mattered was that Gillian was in his arms. He pressed his lips against her forehead, her nose and then her lips again. Gillian ran her hands through Ryan’s hair.
“ I love you, Ryan,” she said.
“I love you too, Gilly.” Ryan hugged her close.
“Oh Ryan.” Gillian had to take a chance. “Come up to my room, Ryan. No one will notice that we’re gone.” She ran her hands over his strong chest.
Ryan wanted to. He wanted to lift her into his arms, carry her up the stairs and spend the rest of the night making love to her.
“Please Ryan,” Gillian said again. She took Ryan’s head in her hands and kissed him again.
Ryan passionately returned the kiss. “We can’t, Gillian. Not here,” he said.
“We’ll go to the boarding house then,” Gillian said. She stroked Ryan’s face. “Please.”
Ryan started to agree, and then changed his mind. “We can’t, Gillian. Not now.” He reluctantly pulled away from Gillian. “This is wrong.”
“It’s not wrong. I’m your wife, you’re my husband. I want you to make love to me. Don’t you want to?” Gillian asked.
“Of course I do, Gillian,” Ryan said. “I think about it day and night. It would be so easy for me to take you back into my bed. We’ve never had any problems in that department. But that won’t solve our other problems, princess.”
Gillian started to cry. “We need to start somewhere, Ryan. Please baby,” she pleaded.
Ryan swallowed the lump that was rising in his throat. “I’m sorry, Gilly, I can’t. Not now. I have to go.”
He pulled out of Gillian’s grasp and headed for the exit without looking back.
“Ryan, don’t leave me!” Gillian cried. She fell to her knees and began to sob uncontrollably.
