“Have you seen Gillian?” he asked impatiently, ignoring her question.
“Um, yeah, she was here a minute ago. You guys must’ve just missed
each other. Why? What’s up?”
“I just really need to talk to her - right away.”
“Well, Ryan, that’s going to be a little difficult. She’s leaving
town right away,going on vacation for the weekend.”
“Oh,” he said, pondering that for a moment. “I suppose I’ll have to
wait ‘till shegets back.”
“Would you like to tell me what this is all about?” Hayley asked.
“I just been thinking a lot lately, Hayley, about life and the
mistakes I’ve made.”
“And that’s where Gillian fits in,” she finished for him.
“Last night I had a dream. Gillian was in the hospital, and I was so
scared for her, until I realized she was having a baby. I always hopedthat
somewhere down the line Gillian and I would -”.
“Well, of course you’d hoped for children someday,” Hayley interrupted. “Most
couples do. And dreams have a way of mirroring what, deep inside, wereally
wishedwould happen.”
“It wasn’t my baby she was having. It was Jake’s. It was the most
awful feeling,
and so final. I tried to yell and say there was a mistake, but no onecould
hear me. The child wasn’t mine - and Gillian was lost to me forever. Iwoke
up incredibly relieved that it was a dream.......but maybe it’s not.”
“Ryan,” Hayley began.
“Seriously, Hayley. I mean what’s to stop it from happening? Certainly not me.
Whenever I see them together I just smile and tell Gillian how happy Iam for
her. Well, it’s a lie!” Ryan said, shoving the nearby table’s contentsto the
floor.
Hayley had never seen Ryan quite so upset and wasn’t sure how to
handle thesituation.
“Ryan, I -”.
“My whole life’s a lie. I’ve gone around so self-righteously,
convinced of the fact
that it was okay to hurt everyone because I was doing them a favor.When
really I was just too much of a coward to admit I was scared. Scaredof
screwing up. Scared of losing Gillian. Scared of becoming just likemy
father. All I wanted to do was protect Gillian, make sure I didn’t hurther,
and that’s all I’ve done,” he said, painfully. “But I want to make upfor it.
Hayley, I would walk through fire for Gillian, and I need her to nowthat. I
think we still have a chance to be together, to make things right - ifshe’d
only agree to it.” Ryan sighed and looked over at Hayley. “You know, Idon’t
think I can wait ‘till Gillian gets back. Did she leave a numberwhere’s
she’s going to be staying? I’d really like to call her if I could.”
“Oh, Ryan,” Hayley said with compassion, “I don’t really think that’s
a very goodidea.”
“Why?” Ryan asked, knowing immediately that something was wrong.
“Oh God, Ryan...I, I don’t know how to tell you this.....”
“What, Hayley? What?” Ryan asked, his anxiety building.
“Ryan, Gillian didn’t go by herself. Jake’s with her.”
