The hallway was stark and white. Ryan was unable to decipher where
he was, but the unpleasantness off the setting was vaguely familiar. And,
one thing was
unmistakable - the screams. He could hear them from the far end of thehall
and as he continued to walk, they became louder. He soon realized theywere
Gillian’s cries of pain, and a wave of absolute terror rushed over him.
He began to run, until he reached the room the sounds where coming from and
stopped abruptly at the sight that met him. Gillian was in a hospitalbed
with a slue of doctors and nurses around her.
“The head is crowning,” one of the doctors said.
Ryan immediately began to recover from his state of panic. She was having a
baby. Their baby. He had always wondered what their children would look
like.
Would they have Gillian’s dark hair and Hungarian complexion? Or would
they have his light blue eyes? Or, more likely, a stunning combination of the
two. Either way they where sure to be beautiful.
He turned his attention back to the bed where Gillian lay as she let
out another cry of pain.
Is childbirth supposed to be this painful, he wondered. Or was
something wrong?
He saw a familiar face in the crowd of doctors. He knew Jake Martin was not an
obstetrician, but he was a friend. Surely, he could help her.
Then, Ryan heard the cry of a baby and watched as one of the doctors wrapped
the child in a blanket and handed it to Gillian.
She cooed and kissed the baby, finally looking up to speak.
“Daddy, come meet your daughter.”
Ryan began to make his way through the crowd of doctors to her
bedside when, to his horror, he saw Jake step forward.
“No,” Ryan said.
Gillian smiled lovingly up at Jake and handed him the baby.
“No! This can’t be happening!” he shouted, panic beginning to build. “Gillian!
That’s supposed to be our baby!” he called to her, but she didn’t seem to
hear.
“No!” he screamed. “No! No!”
His words were the painful cry of a lost soul. “NO! NO!”
Suddenly he woke up, sitting bolt upright, still crying “No!”
repeatedly.
Sweat
dripped from his brow and his heart slowly regained it’s natural rhythmas he
grasped the realization that it had only been a dream. But, as he satin his
bed he thought to himself, what was to stop it from becoming a reality?
Across town, in the early morning sunlight, Gillian neatly folded
clothes, packing
the remains of her closet. As she folded an outfit, she remembered whenshe
last wore it, and could almost see the shadows of her and Ryan dancing
playfully around the room. It seemed almost sacrilegious to be packingfor
this trip in the first real home she and Ryan had ever shared. But,that was
the past, she firmly told herself, and did her best to shake off the
sensation.
She walked over to her radio and turned it on, trying to get her mind off the
course it had once again taken. However, it only had the oppositeeffect as
the roomfilled with the singer’s anguished thoughts that seemed to mirror her
own.
“I can’t figure out why it all fell apart.
And, I don’t have a clue just how I lost your heart.
So, make me understand why I still need you so.
Tell me something I don’t know.”
Ryan got up out of bed and began to pace the room.
“I don’t know what it’s like to lie alone at night and toss and turn.”
God, he couldn’t understand how it had come to this - or what to do now.
“When it comes to pain, it’s plain to see I’ve got a lot to learn.”
Gillian put the final item in the suitcase and locked it.
“So, make me understand why I still need you so.
And, tell me how to let you go. Tell me something I don’t know.”
She picked up her suitcase and wearily took one last look around the
room. Then, silently closed the door.
Ryan didn’t know just how or when his life had tailspined out of
control. He onlyknew the time had come to stop it.
