Chapter Twenty-Three

Ryan absentmindedly ran his fingers through Gillian's hair, and watched the moonlight spill in through the bedroom window. The baby had finally surrendered to sleep, but his parents weren't so lucky. Morning was only a few hours away, and they were wide awake.

"She fills my life like air, laden with the smell of honeysuckle. And my insatiable soul she fills with longing for eternity."

Gillian glanced toward his side of the bed, her eyes briefly connecting with his for just a moment, not long enough. Ryan was suddenly aware of a space between them. Gillian had curled up on one side of the bed, and he on the other, leaving a wide gap in the middle.

Lost in her thoughts, she found herself jolted back to earth by his strong arms around her, lifting her like a child, a little girl, until she was nearly on top of him, tangled together in a mass of limbs.

Propping her chin on his chest, she gazed up at him, relieved to feel a piece of their life coming back to her, like a memory from long ago.

"We used to sleep like this, remember?"

Gillian nodded. "I remember."

She felt his hands caress her back as he spoke. "If you remember that, maybe you can tell me…when did everything get so damn crazy?"

"Oh Ryan, I don't know. I feel like I woke up one morning and my life wasn't mine anymore. I want it to be mine, I do," she said as her eyes welled up with tears.

"Hey, no more crying. What do I have to do to make you smile, huh? I miss that gorgeous, mega-watt Andrassy smile. Come on, baby, smile for me please?" He cupped her face in his hands, and she plastered on an unconvincing grin.

"No, that's not it." Once again, he carried her in his arms, this time placing her back on her side of the bed.

Gillian sat up, pouting. She watched him stand in front of the stereo in his pajama bottoms, sorting through CD's, before selecting one and setting it in the tray.

He offered her his hand. "May I have this dance, Mrs. Lavery?"

"Ryan, what are you doing? This is ridiculous. It's 4 in the morning, you have to go to work in a few hours…"

Pulling her out of the bed, she grudgingly began to give in, wrapping her body around his, and letting him guide her to the music.

"I guess this is kind of romantic isn't it? Dancing with you in the middle of the night. It's been so long since we've danced together."

"Not since the Crystal Ball."

"And I couldn't dance, 'cause I was so pregnant. I just watched you and Grandmama waltzing around the room."

They rest their heads against one another, rediscovering what it feels like to be so close to each other. He lifts her mouth to meet with his, tasting her, and taking comfort from her familiar scent. Breaking apart, she gazes dreamily into his eyes, the only light coming from the window nearby.

"Look at that Princess," he says as he wraps his arms around her, "the whole sky is filled with stars. Tell me that isn't romantic."

"I don't need any stars," she whispers, "I just need you."


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