Short Lawyer jokes




Question: What do you call 5000 dead lawyers at the bottom of the ocean?

Answer: A good start!

 

Question: How can you tell when a lawyer is lying?

Answer: His lips are moving.

 

Question: What's the difference between a dead dog in the road and a dead lawyer on the road ?

Answer: There are skid marks in front of the dog.

 

Question: Why won't sharks attack lawyers?

Answer: Professional courtesy.

 

Question: What do have when a lawyer is buried up to his neck in sand?

Answer: Not enough sand.

 

Question: What can a goose do, a duck can't, and a lawyer should?

Answer: Stick his bill up his ass.

 

Question: Where can you find a good lawyer?

Answer: In the cemetery

 

Question: What's the difference between a lawyer and a gigolo?

Answer: A gigolo only screws one person at a time.

 

Question: What's the difference between a lawyer and a vampire?

Answer: A vampire only sucks blood at night.

 

Question: How many law professors does it take to change a light bulb?

Answer: Hell, you need 250 just to lobby for the research grant.



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