Question: What do you call 5000 dead lawyers at the bottom of the ocean?
Answer: A good start!
Question: How can you tell when a lawyer is lying?
Answer: His lips are moving.
Question: What's the difference between a dead dog in the road and a dead lawyer on the road ?
Answer: There are skid marks in front of the dog.
Question: Why won't sharks attack lawyers?
Answer: Professional courtesy.
Question: What do have when a lawyer is buried up to his neck in sand?
Answer: Not enough sand.
Question: What can a goose do, a duck can't, and a lawyer should?
Answer: Stick his bill up his ass.
Question: Where can you find a good lawyer?
Answer: In the cemetery
Question: What's the difference between a lawyer and a gigolo?
Answer: A gigolo only screws one person at a time.
Question: What's the difference between a lawyer and a vampire?
Answer: A vampire only sucks blood at night.
Question: How many law professors does it take to change a light bulb?
Answer: Hell, you need 250 just to lobby for the research grant.