Welcome to the Secret
Vault
The Secret Vault was created to archive odd posts, you never know what will show up on this page. It could contain anything from Question of the Week posts to Re-written Jingles. So enjoy! If you would like to send in your own work my email link is at the bottom of the page.
Silliness to the Extreme
Note from Author: Hello fellow Section Two operatives. I was watching the Flintstones yesterday and decided to write a section tune to the Flintstones music:
Section... meet the Section
They're a bunch of secret meanies
From 500... hundred feet under
They'll come up and shoot....you and me.
When you meet the Section
They might...cut off a finger or a toe
If you...don't tell them what you know
Run like Hell for your protection
Written by Shirly
Answer to Question of the Week #2
Question: If a person could leave only one mark on society or the world in general, what would that mark be from each individual Section One Member?
Here is my own twisted contribution to this topic...
WARNING these are a little twisted...due to my bent mood tonight...(I just saw the season ender of Highlander. and I'm not a Happy Camper) so you might want to delete now.....but if you like twisted stories read on...
BIRKOFF starts a computer cult that successfully take over the worlds computer databases. And demands to be made King of the Whole World. World leaders give in and make him King. But during the Coronation Party he Overdoses on Oreo's and Coffee and in the sugar haze he writes a program that wipes out all the worlds information.. He was last seen hitch-hiking in Canada, clutching a paper crown mumbling, "a Cookie, a Cookie, my kingdom for a Cookie."
WALTER in frustration over Never being able to attend Woodstock, takes all his little toys to the Next lollapalooza. Where he holds the Band members of Alice in chains Hostage. And make then cover the song 'Blowing in the wind', 500 times. Walter realizing that he could never turn back the clock, Covers his escape by blowing up the stage. He was last seen washing cars in a West Hollywood car wash. planting little yellow golf balls in the gas tanks....
OPERATIONS opens a Craft supplies store, where he invents the worlds greatest knitting machine.. Only to have the proto type stolen by the home shopping network, where the make billions of it.. Upset at the loss he goes back to government and runs for president.. and wins. Two days after moving into the white house, he burns it down, by throwing a Cigar butt into a trash can in the oval office...
MADELINE starts selling Make-up on QVC, She starts giving seminars for women on how to 'manipulate your man'. Where she Makes millions. Only to have her husband Petrosian clean out her bank accounts and run off with her personal aid. She gets her revenge by writing a book about her life titled "JUST SMILE: when you are have him canceled." It win a Pulitzer.
MICHAEL starts a construction company, he is Hired by Ops to rebuild the White House. He Finishes the project in record time but his foreman makes a mistake and Paints the House Purple, Operations has Michael deported to Canada, when he got of the plane he is kidnapped by a bunch of women calling them selves Royettes, it is believed that he is on a farm, somewhere in France...
NIKITA becomes a Nun, and in her spare time lectures about humanity and innocence at high schools. Realizing that she loves Michael and can't live with out him. She turns down the chance to be the first female Pope, and runs off to France to look for him... Soon after she is made the leader of the Royettes... She hires Walter to make sure no one can break into the Royette compound and that Michael can't get out.. she lives happily ever after..
Well there it is Flame away....I can take it...I don't even need a asbestos suit for this one..... If I can Brake my leg Sky diving (I did that this morning. May 21.) I think I can handle some cyber-flames!! Some one pass the s'mores.. and the aspirin.
By Layne Keeper of Madeline
Section One Joke
OK, I'll play. I'm supposed to be working! It takes 6 people from Section 1 to change a light bulb.
1) Operations to show that cool video screen of the problem light bulb.2) Madeline to look serious and then go pick out a cute outfit for Nikita.
2) Madeline to look serious and then go pick out a cute outfit for Nikita.
3) Birky to find a 3-D floor plan on his computer of the building where the light bulb burned out.
4) Walter to invent and give Nikita a 'special' light bulb that'll never burn out (with flirtatious comments).
5) Michael to scope out the building and eliminate all bad guys and then stand guard, while...
6) Nikita in a cute light bulb repair-person's outfit changes the light bulb and then tearfully asks," WHY?"
Thank you, thank you *bows to much applause*
Written by Morwenna
Mental Episode Playing
Well, it's a delicate process of converting every single ROYbyte to my soft-drive (brain). From there, my adorable little gray cells play certain parts over and over and over. Finally, the entire brain begins to operate on LFN mode. For example, you may overhear an argument at work and someone angrily asks, "Why?" and you immediately think, "Glass Curtain killed Simone." (Hey, don't laugh, it happened to me, and it can happen to you too. ;) )
Finally, due to listening to Roy say "Josephine..." 14,000 times right in a row, you reach a point where at least one hemisphere of your soft-drive is constantly playing a LFN episode. Let's see.... I watched Escape and Love today, and I haven't even touched my VCR. :0
Hey, you asked me how it happened, and I told you. ;) (See what I mean)
Written by Juliette