How to have fun at the expense of others

1. Leave the copy machine set to reduce 200%, extra dark, 17 inch

paper, 99 copies.

2. In the memo field of all your checks, write "for sensual

massage."

3. Specify that your drive-through order is "to go."

4. If you have a glass eye, tap on it occasionally with your pen

while talking to others.

5. Stomp on little plastic ketchup packets.

6. Insist on keeping your car windshield wipers running in all

weather conditions "to keep them tuned up."

7. Reply to everything someone says with "that's what YOU think."

8. Practice making fax and modem noises.

9. Highlight irrelevant information in scientific papers and "cc."

them to your boss.

10. Make beeping noises when a large person backs up.

11. Finish all your sentences with the words "in accordance with

prophesy."

12. Signal that a conversation is over by clamping your hands over

your ears.

13. Disassemble your pen and "accidentally" flip the ink

cartridge across the room.

14. Holler random numbers while someone is counting.

15. Adjust the background color on your email so that all your email

correspondence is in green, and insist to others that you "like it

that

way."

16. Staple papers in the middle of the page.

17. Publicly investigate just how slowly you can make a "croaking"

noise.

18. Honk and wave to strangers.

19. Decline to be seated at a restaurant, and simply eat their

complimentary mints by the cash register.

20. TYPE ONLY IN UPPERCASE..

21. type only in lowercase.

22. dont use any punctuation either

23. Buy a large quantity of orange traffic cones and reroute whole

streets.

24. Repeat the following conversation a dozen times:

"Do you hear that?"

"What?"

"Never mind, it's gone now."

25. As much as possible, skip rather than walk.

26. Try playing the William Tell Overture by tapping on the bottom of

your chin. When nearly done, announce, "no, wait, I messed it

up,"

and repeat.

27. Ask people what gender they are.

28. While making presentations, occasionally bob your head like a

parakeet.

29. Sit in your front yard pointing a hair dryer at passing cars to

see if they slow down.

30. Sing along at the opera.