Of all the family outside the nuclear Simpsons, Grampa Simpson has taken the front seat. He can't bust heads like he used to, but he has his ways. In his day kids used to get spanked by presidents all the time. Infact Grover Cleveland spanked him on 2 nonconsecutive occasions. Ahhhh, DEATH!!!
Occupation: Retired cranberry silo night watchman, sexual revitalizing tonic salesman, former sergeant in WWII
Residence: Springfield Retirement Castle (where the elderly can hide from the inevitable)
Skills: Prentending to cry, dancing the Funky Grandpa, Napping, Writing the Iggy and What's it Cartoons, driving a car over two people without auto insurnace, nagging and criticizing
Although Grampa Simpson has his many minor uses like babysitting
and pretending to cry. And his character can be thrown into one scene and taken out in the next all for convenience such as crashing a car through the front of the house, slamming the door in his face, and stealing his cane to sing a song about the Kwicky Mart. Grampa has taken part in 3 distinct adventures that really prove his worth as a true man beyond the two dimensional character.
Not to overlook his adventures with Bea Simmons, catching the Cat Burglar, a trip to the hippy commune, or his loaded Smith and Weston which proved essential in the who shot Mr. Burns case, I'm actually thinking more along the lines of Grampa's heroics. Late in the series Homer decides to eat nothing but food in bar form and attempt to climb the tallest mountain in Springfield. Although slightly embellished, Grampa's story turns out to be for the most part true that he did infact climb the very same mountain many years before. This would have been a true act of heroism had he not attempted to stay alive by eating his climbing partner. He would be more successful in the years to come.
As a sergeant in World War II, Grampa, or Abe as they called him back then, stole some beautiful Botticellis, and the entire platoon entered into a pact that assured the last surviving member sole ownership of the artwork. Burns, the other surviving memeber, tries to poison, shoot, and dismember him, but Grampa makes it out alive. Bart, with his slick fingers, steals the keys from Burns and dives for the buried underwater treasure. Burns steals the paintings and knocks Bart into the ocean locked in the safe, but Grampa swims to his rescue. Grampa then even does a little barefoot water skiing to catch Burns and steal the paintings back. This would be the best venture for Grampa ever except at that vary moment the German heir shows up and takes the art for himself. Try again Grampa, third time's a charm.
You look like a man who needs some help satisfying his woman in bed. Well that's what Grampa would say to sell his sexually revitilizing tonic. This stuff could have been the greatest item on the exotic market since those naked playing cards except that both the Simpsons of Simpson and Son are screw ups. Homer quits the business and the whole deal goes to pot. Grampa don't get too depressed though. It could have been worse. An invasion by the saucer people headed by the inverse vampires could have started any time and you'd be powerless to prevent it!
Time to Abuse Grampa.... Mentally
You know the rules, send me whatcha got. I know you're smart enough to figure these out. don't forget to mail me the answers at sacrilicious1@geocities.com
How many times should Bart pull on the rope to let Grampa know he has found the buried Hellfish Bonanza?-64-Bravo Mr. Ryan Leary
Instead of seeing his girlfriend Bea one last time, Grampa is dragged off to where with the Simpson family?-Discount Lion Safari-solved by Rebecca Hubbard
Along with the rest of the seniors, what does Grampa chant instead of "Be like the boy" as instructed by Brad Goodman?-we like Roy-solved by Rebecca Hubbard
To prevent being assasinated, Grampa unknowingly uses what as false teeth rather than putting in place his poisoned dentures?-the alarm clock-solved by Josh Fox
What brand of gun does Grampa stroke amongst the crowd of gun strokers in the "who shot Mr. Burns" plot?-
What was the name of the town back then that Grampa was heading to with an onion on his belt and why was he headed there?-he was going to Morganville to get a new heel for his shoe-solved by Rebecca Hubbard
Converse to Grampa telling a story about the sweetness of lemons, what does the elder Shelbyvilian tell his town's children was the reason they "banished" the lemon tree?-
In discussing the "Simpsons gene" with Bart, Grampa mixes up two phrases: smart as a _______ and dumb as a _________. What two primates does Grampa reference?-
What does the German heir to the original owners of the Hellfish paintings say to Grampa and Bart when he sees them hugging?-
Why does Homer kick Grampa out of the car when they're out selling their revitalizing tonic?-Grampa says Homer was an accident-solved by Adam Bradley
Who does Grampa use as his "son" after Homer quits the revitalizing tonic business?-Barney-solved by Josh Fox
What is the only reason the country folk chase Homer and Grampa out of their town after seeing through the revitalizing tonic scheme?-Grampa turns on that get away music-solved by Adam Bradley
Although Grampa Simpson has his many minor uses like babysitting
and pretending to cry. And his character can be thrown into one scene and taken out in the next all for convenience 
such as crashing a car through the front of the house, slamming the door in his face, and stealing his cane to sing a song about the Kwicky Mart. Grampa has taken part in 3 distinct adventures that really prove his worth as a true man beyond the two dimensional character. 
member sole ownership of the artwork. Burns, the other surviving memeber, tries to poison, shoot, and dismember him, but Grampa makes it out alive. Bart, with his slick fingers, steals the keys from Burns and dives for the buried underwater treasure. Burns steals the paintings and knocks Bart into the ocean locked in the safe, but Grampa swims to his rescue. 
Grampa then even does a little barefoot water skiing to catch Burns and steal the paintings back. This would be the best venture for Grampa ever except at that vary moment the German heir shows up and takes the art for himself. Try again Grampa, third time's a charm.