Editor's Note: We had so much response to our last batch of Section One poetry! Mostly complaints, but you can't have everything. So we decided to inflict, er, share even more of the Sectional Muse. This time we thought it might be really painful to concentrate on rhyming poetry. No blank or free verse here! Besides, Ops says blank and free verse make him nervous. "Give me a rhyme," he said, "and a rhythm I can thump my desk to!" Well, Ops's desk-thumping may get a bit erratic with these, but they *do* rhyme. Sort of. Again, these are published anonymously--or posthumously.

                         LI'L MISS PROFILER

           Profiling, profiling, it's what I do,
           Write up some reports, and cancel a few.
           What are they thinking, and really, who cares?
           It wasn't my fault sissy fell down the stairs.
           Most of these operatives came from a jail,
           Yes they got out, but it wasn't on bail.
           Sometimes I think it's fun to stop my heart and see,
           If that EKG line goes flat permanently.
           The big white room is where I get to use my imagination,
           But Frick and Frack do help with the interrogation.
           Ops is whom I work beside, and we make the perfect pair,
           Yet George frowns upon relations in Section.
           Darn it!! It just isn't fair.

                                                           (DimeraKid)

                              BUELLCOLIC

                I ride my bike through the night
                trying to find the target who's right;
                sometimes to make it more interesting by far
                I ride without a helmet weaving through cars.
                But problems arise when I drive really fast
                because without a helmet, my teeth, alas,
                get filled up with bugs and yuckity poo
                when I arrive at the mission, my hair's icky, too.


                            HE'S LIKE A GOD

                I was alone, I was afraid,
                he seemed so kind, he seemed so brave!
                He made my heart go pitter pat--
                I fell in love, just like that!
                Oh, what to do?  Oh, woe is me!
                'Cuz everyone knows *he* loves Blondie.
                (Except, of course, for Blondie dear.
                He's a heat-seeking missile when she is near.
                But she is blind to her effect,
                The rest of us might as well be dreck.)
                Perhaps I'll shoot her in the back
                and get my romance back on track!

                                                              (Nobody)

Remember folks, information is what we do here . . .

What Section waiter is so irked about being woken in the middle of the night to fetch a Big Mac for our own "Mayor McCheese" that he's been adding his own "special sauce" to the burger? Take care "O Gross One." Remember what happened to the last waiter, Jean-Claude, and all he did was forget to super-size the fries.

Missing someone around Section of late? Seems Section's very own "High Priestess" has decided to re-energize herself with a brief respite at a foreign spa. A reliable source tells us that she is especially enjoying her twice daily messages with a burly hunk of man-meat known as Istvan. Now, we won't speculate as to what goes on in these very private sessions, but we hear the lady is grinning more widely than usual. But don't tell "you-know-who" about it. He's liable to flip his M.I.A.!

What adorable juvenile twosome were seen huddling with Dreamworks execs at Spagos discussing a possible movie deal about their recent ordeal? We strongly advise "Mr. Bean" and "Heidi" to zip it. You don't want a visit from Aunt Frick and Uncle Frack, do you? Or is that Aunt Frack and Uncle Frick? Well, I think we've made our point.

Gums are flapping all over Section about the quick climb up the corporate ladder by "Miss Floppy Hat." Suggestions have ranged from "sleeping with George" to "Ops must have gotten into Walter's stash again" to "I get it, April Fools, right?" Sorry--can't help you folks, but let's give the lady a little credit, huh? And whatever you do, watch out behind you when gossiping to another operative. One poor fellow didn't hear "Mr. Ruthless" approach and had his leg snapped like a twig. And we thought he had gotten over that annoying habit!

(Val)

Mr. Whiffle in Housekeeping asks those in supervisorial positions to *please* not squeeze the operatives. They are liable to go *pop!* without much notice causing unnecessary extra work for Louise.

EDITOR'S NOTE: After being away on official business last week and briefly returning to Section just in time to get her column done, Maddy took a well-deserved vacation. She decided to take a trip down memory lane, and sent us postcards along the way which we print with her permission . . .

        Postcard #1

        Pictured:  The Bucharest International Airport

        Hello, everyone.  I hope you are doing well in my absence.
        Arrived today in Bucharest, Rumania and will be catching
        the train to the Carpathian Mountains tomorrow morning.
        I must say, it's refreshing to be in a country where the
        trains run so promptly on time!

                                Maddy

                                *****

        Postcard #2

        Pictured:  Bucharest Municipal Train Station

        Hi to all!  What inspiring countryside this is!  The
        mountains are tall, craggy, foreboding, and desolate!
        Darkness falls early, and when the train whistle blows,
        it is answered by the haunting howling of wolves.  And
        by a corresponding singing in my blood!

                                Maddy

                                *****

        Postcard #3

        Pictured:  The Castle of Countess Elizabeth Bathory

        To my dear colleagues:  How good it is to return to my
        roots!  I visited the castle where my poor, maligned
        ancestress, the Blood Countess, was cruelly incarcerated
        by ignorant folk who refused to understand that a woman
        has *needs.*  I must say, her beauty regime *does* sound
        intriguing.  Too bad Section doesn't recruit many virgins...

                                Maddy

                                *****

        Postcard #4

        Pictured:  Castle Dracula

        Fellow warriors:  You know, the Rumanians view Vlad Tepich
        as a hero and really dislike the use to which Bram Stoker
        put the family name.  Vlad fought in many cruel--but
        necessary!--battles to keep the invaders from his homeland.
        It was a difficult job, but Vlad did whatever it took.
        Some have called him *ruthless,* but that's such a
        relative term, don't you think?

                                Maddy

                                *****

        Postcard #5

        Pictured:  The Bucharest Municipal Steam Baths

        What a whirlwind tour of the Old Country this has been!
        Good thing I'm not nostalgic, or I might never leave!
        (Just kidding, Ops!)  Back in Bucharest and feeling
        very mellow after visiting the spa for a few days . . .
        *Steam* is so relaxing . . . Flight home tomorrow.  This
        enchanting place has given me so many ideas for the
        interrogation room . . .

                                Maddy
                                                        (Nobody)
                                                    (From an idea by
                                                       Orange Donna)