5 years old
I was in the backyard in the garden. I lit a smoke ball and threw it. When I was 5, I couldn't throw very good. So the smoke ball landed in the garden. I ran over to pick it up and get rid of it. I was afraid the smoke ball would burn down the entire garden. Well, the smoke ball almost burnt my hand right off! I ran into the house screaming. My mom said, "WHAT HAPPENED!" And I said, "I ALMOST BURNT MY HAND OFF!" And she just started laughing.
One of my most favorite traditions (when I was a kid) was to grab a neighborhood buddy and go to the pond up the street to lite-off bottle rockets. Many times we didn't have a bottle. We would just throw the bottle rockets in the pond. It's OK, back then they had waterproof fuses. We would also throw in smoke balls. Please don't ask why we did these things, I have no idea. One day, I had a "whistling bottle rocket", I never knew how powerful these things were. I lit it and I was about to throw it... too late, it had already started. It let out a trail of fire which incinerated all my arm hairs and left my thumb black. Never again, from now on, I shoot bottle rockets out of a bottle.
My neighborhood buddies liked to shoot fireworks with me. Mainly because they didn't have any. Some of my buddies would get bored very easily, eventually we started shooting bottle rockets at each other! Always fun. I think it's a natural human instinct to try and kill each other. I remember my Uncle running around with a pack of 16 firecrackers in his shirt pocket. My Dad would walk by with a "punk" and a little tap-tap-tap of the end and... BOM-BOM-BOM-BOM... my Uncle now had about 16 new holes in his shirt!
Self-destruction
My Uncle and Dad were liting illegal fireworks in the middle of the street. They had a big plastic sack with all kinds of fireworks un-wrapped. A piece of ash from the "punk" fell inside and all holy hell broke lose. The whole neighborhood was running for cover. My Dad said that he had never been so scared in his whole life. Everybody lived and nobody was injured.It's OK if you burn the house down
My Dad loved to put on shows for the whole neighborhood. He was a firebug just like me. When I was little boy (maybe 5 years old) he once lit a 3 inch shell. It climbed a few hundred feet in the air like it was suppose to. The only problem is, it didn't "report". My Dad freaked out. He said, "Quick run and grab some shovels!!!" (Household term back then) Anyway, within a few seconds the shell landed on the neighbor's back porch. THUD! Then all of a sudden, BOOM! The back porch didn't catch fire, but the neighbor's green carpet did. My Dad said to his neighbor friend, "God, I'm so sorry." The neighbor said that it was OK and that he needed new carpet anyway. ;-) To this day, he still has the same burnt carpet on his back porch.Don't tell EVERYONE you're a pyro
(Last day of school)When I was in sixth grade, I got an idea to take firecrackers to school with me. My problems started when I told everyone I knew that I was planning on liting them off on the bus on the way home. Everybody thought I was a little strange anyway, so I didn't care what they thought. At about 11:00 a.m. some jackass lit a smoke ball in the girls bathroom. So once the principal finds out, he gets on the PA and says, "If you know of anyone with FIREWORKS please report to the office." Here's were the fun starts. The principal than began calling about 30 different people to the office. Half of them were my buddies! I knew if I was called I would get off easy. Well, I got called. So I walk over to the principal's office with firecrackers in my back pocket, smart. ;-) I get over there and the first thing I say when I see him is,
"HI!"
"Firecrackers now!", he says.
So I give him a pack of 16. He throws them on top of his desk, along
with a few hundred that were already there.
He says, "Got anymore!"
"Nope.", I say.
I really had three more packs in my back pocket. "Go to lunch.", he says in
a disgusted voice. If I can be frank, I think he was just happy to score 16
firecrackers off me.
My teacher asked me, "Where's your lighter?"
"My friend has it.", I said without a care.
"With friends like that, who needs enemies."
Later that afternoon, my buddies and I set off the firecrackers on the bus. Nothing really happened, it just made the bus smell like sulfur. Earlier that day, I had stashed some water balloons in the dirt. My buddies and I pulled them out and threw them at the bus driver and the snothead kids that always sit in the back of the bus.
