What really happened to JFK-Sort Of, Anyway.
By Kristofer Armstrong

The room filled with an annoying electronic screech. Doctor Dvorkin ran into the room yelling "SHIT! NURSE! NURSE! I need a full biosheet on him immediat-fucking-ly! And get that damned, necromantic, sonofabitch Saitan in here NOW!"
Dvorkin tried C.P.R.-it was useless the patient was indeed dead. Only Saitan the once witch doctor now turned full-fledged necromancer could help him now. Sighing, Dvorkin unplugged the still screeching apparatus, sat down, and silently ticked off the minutes, until the nurse arrived twenty-five minutes later. She handed him the biosheet which he immediately threw right back into her face saying:
"Alot of fucking good it does now; you lazy, incompetent, bitch!"
The nurse, appalled, began to step away from him until she had reached window sill of the seventy-eighth floor. Dvorkin continued now with his violent, uncontrollable, tongue lashing:
"You couldn't have gotten here, oh let me see . . . twenty-five earlier, now could have you? Huh? Answer me damn you!" As he slapped her across the face.
The Nurse stuttered a shaky reply:
"I . . I . .I t-t-tried to get here as soon as I possible could!"
Dvorkin said nothing, picked up the now totally useless


biosheet, walked over to the nurse and placed it into her hands saying:
"I'll see to it that this "little incident" never happens again. Nurse-YOU ARE FIRED!."
Sighing, he gave her a wry grin, and with malicious tone in his voice saying:
"It's so hard to find good help these days." As he shoved her screaming body out the window, waiting moments before he turned away to hear the satisfying "thump" of her body hitting the ground-seventy-eight floors below.

*******
Saitan ran as quickly as possible into the office. He found Dvorkin waiting there for him, Between breathes Saitan said:
"Sorry I took so long getting here, boss!"
Dvorkin smiled again and put his arms on Saitan's shoulders replying:
"Oh, think nothing of it, my dear, little, necromantic friend!-Just maybe hurry along a little faster next time. O.K.?"
"Sure thing, boss."
Dvorkin guided him to the patient saying:
"Now, Saitan I want you to make him whole again. We can't afford another chronometric jaunt back to
November 22, 1963, now can we?"
"I don't know about that chrono-thingy you said, but I don't think that I can make him whole again. But, I will need the following : mandrake root powder, toad spittle, rattle snake venom, silver nitrate, blood of a orca-killer-whale and lastly- purified water."
"I'll do what I can, prepare him accordingly."
As Dvorkin left to get the needed ingredients, Saitan dragged the body of this man-this Kennedy person- to the center of the room, where a pentagram was etched into the onyx tilled floor, and waited for Dvorkin to return.
Dvorkin returned about a half hour later with the needed ingredients, handed them to Saitan, and sat down to watch. Saitan used a mortar and pestle to grind everything down into a powder, then using the purified water he made an "iced tea" with it. Which he poured down the gullet of Kennedy, and said:
"Doctor Dvorkin said to make you whole again. Saitan say no can do . . . so I make Undead."
The lifeless body of Kennedy began to twitch, a moan escaped from the cadaver's lips, and he-it-Kennedy sat up! And screamed at Saitan:
"My God man, what have you done!"
"I give you life after death-undeath." Saitan replied.
"What the fuck . . .?"
"Mr. Kennedy, I know this by somewhat of a shock, but you were dead. Without the aid of Saitan you would
be the same, now you are much more!" relied Dvorkin.
"What do you mean, by much more?" replied Kennedy.
"What I mean is this, your body needs a replenishment of living blood! Mr. Kennedy you're now in the ranks of the Wamphryi or Vamphryi, Vrykoulakas, Noseforatu, to put it more simply : you are a vampire!"
"Y-y-you made me an abomination! Damn you to hell for this, you lousy bastard!"

*******

With the quickness of a cheetah, Kennedy grabbed Saitan by the throat, pinning him against the wall. Saitan began mumbling something intelligible, until Kennedy relaxed his grip to hear what he said:
"N-n-nothing can kill you except. . . . . ."
"Except what? Tell me, now!" Kennedy said as he slammed Saitan's body repetitiously up against the wall, until all that was left was a bloody mess. Dvorkin cleared his throat, then said:
"There are numerous ways for you to die; exposure to sunlight, a stake through the heart-this doesn't kill you it only immobilizes you-, decapitation, and coming in contact with knesblauch=garlic, and silver. Other than that your immortal."
Kennedy sadly replied:

"So I'm Immortal. Now what do I do? Where can I find others like me?"
Dvorkin replied :
"That's easy my friend, go to war. This above all is true, for all men seek what they cannot have, even if it is their own deaths."
"Great, go to war. Just point me the direction and I'm off!"
"Not a war, Mr. Kennedy but all of them!"
"All of them, but how can this be?"
"Simple, we-I mean I- implant a patented-chronometric micro-chip into your brain."
"Dammit, in English Doc!"
"It's a device which, I will program with randomly selected battles throughout history-mine not yours." "Come again?"
Sighing, Dvorkin replied:
"Time travel! When can I start?"
"There's no time like the present."

******* 1