This is one of two parodies of "Bette Davis Eyes" (the other is at Julie's Off-Topic board). I'm a little
      embarrassed at the tenor of this one, but I assure everyone that no disrespect whatsoever is intended to our
   beloved Gadget. Here goes!


      "Gadget Hackwrench Eyes"

      Her hair is no-one-knows,
      Her brain is over-size
      She wears old greasy clothes,
      She's got Gadget Hackwrench eyes
      She'll turn her naivete on you,
      You'll think her veins hold ice
      She just don't understand,
      She got Gadget Hackwrench eyes

      She will flirt you,
      And she'll hurt you
      But she never will desert you
      She's a genius and she means us
      Only good though she comes between us
      She's got a bod to cause male sighs,
      She's got Gadget Hackwrench eyes

      She'll move into your tree,
      To whet your appetite
      Her skin you'll never see,
      She got Gadget Hackwrench eyes
      She'll give you hugs and kisses,
      Which you will think is nice
      Then she'll be in her shop,
      She's got Gadget Hackwrench eyes

      She's the best goil, with a Tesla coil
      And her food tastes like machine oil
      There's no fearing 'bout her gearing
      Or her gift for engineering
      Some people think she'll never love a guy,
      She's got Gadget Hackwrench eyes

      She will drive you,
      And arrive you
      You'll be lucky you're still alive, You!
      She's not porous, and this chorus
      Has me using my thesaurus
      She's gonna make some poor chipmunk die,
      She's got Gadget Hackwrench eyes . . . 

      "The Enduring Man-Child"