"The Big Date" (the next Coffeehouse thread) Thursday, 07-Sep-00 09:48:49 STRIDER & KAT: Last time at the Ranger Coffeehouse... --- *- FROM "Resurrection--Part 6 & Epilogue" -* "So how does it feel to be back?" Grace asked, sitting down between Kat and Strider. "Well, I would have liked to be resurrected *outside* the Coffeehouse, but I suppose living here will do," Leviathan remarked. "Besides, I get to see everyone as they come and go, and I'll get to join in on any other adventures that take place here." "Well, I think it's nice that you'll always be here," Widget (Bernouli, for those that forgot ;) said as she sat down beside Leviathan, smiling. "We can always come to see you, and talk about what's going on, or...whatever..." Leviathan raised an eyebrow; Widget started to blush. "I...uh, forget I said anything, Leviathan..." "Widget...you have a crush on Leviathan, do you?" Grace asked, grinning. Widget started blushing even more. "Well, I...er, I mean..." Widget tried to cover her tracks, but it was too late. Now the whole Coffeehouse knew, and there was no turning back. "Yes, I do. I think he's caring and sweet--not to mention handsome." Widget turned to the grey mouse, still red with embarassment. "Leviathan, would you...er, I, uh...would you like to have dinner with me sometime?" "I...I..." Now it was Leviathan's turn to blush. Like Widget, he hadn't had much experience in this part of life; the fact that the whole Coffeehouse was watching the scene over his shoulder wasn't helping a whole lot either. Strider and Kat looked at each other, nodded, and whispered in Leviathan's ear. He looked at both of them wide-eyed, then he smiled--his way of saying "thanks for the advice"--and looked back at Widget. "Widget Bernouli, I gladly accept your offer. I would be honored to go to dinner with you." The Coffeehouse erupted in cheers as Leviathan took Widget's hand and kissed it. --- STRIDER: Five months have passed since that day. And now, Widget and Leviathan are finally preparing to go on their long-awaited first date. KAT: But since Leviathan cannot go outside the Coffeehouse without his writer's full permission, their date must take place there. STRIDER: What could the other Coffeehouse regulars try to do to make the date more memorable for the couple? And who, if anyone, would try to ruin the special event? KAT: Find out as we begin the next thread in the Ranger Coffeehouse series... STRIDER & KAT: "The Big Date"! ===== Widget Bernouli and Grace Gigabyte were in a spare dressing room in the Coffeehouse, usually reserved for special occasions (like the Platos ;). The inseparable duo were discussing Widget's plans for the upcoming evening, as well as choosing suitable wardrobe; Grace was seated near the far wall, while Widget was pacing like a nervous father-to-be. "I still can't believe it," Widget said. "What?" Grace replied. "You asking him on a date, or you actually going through with it?" "Both." "Oh, c'mon!" Grace exclaimed. "You're just nervous, that's all." "Well, he's quite a bit older..." Widget trailed. "Only by about five years. Besides, guys are age are *sooo* immature!" Grace retorted. Widget let out a giggle. "Point taken, Grace. But what if we don't have a good time? Or worse...only one of us does?" A hint of sadness and fear hung in Widget's voice. "I don't think that will be a problem, trust me." "But I hardly know him," Widget responed. "I mean, sure, our writers get along, but..." "But nothing. You're trying to talk yourself out of this, and I won't let you." Grace stood up and approached the young mouse. "You know why people go on dates--to find out about each other." Widget sighed, reluctant to agree with her best friend. "I guess you're right." Widget straightened her purple slacks and white blouse. "Do you really think I look okay? I would've worn my coveralls, but they just didn't seem nice enough..." "You look fine," Grace flattered. "Besides, if you wore a dress, half the Coffeehouse would probably faint out of surprise!" The pair laughed, while just a few feet away, in a newly constructed private room... ~~~ "But Strider, I have no idea what I'm going to say to her!" Leviathan Walker exclaimed. The "Dark Savior", who had been resurrected just five months earlier, was now wearing a black T-shirt and blue jeans ("It's the only thing I felt like wearing," he had admitted) and discussing his dilemma with Strider and the chipmunks (and I don't mean Alvin, Simon, and Theodore ;). "Just stay calm, Leviathan. Y'know, I'm starting to believe that wishing you back was a bad thing," the young man muttered. "Very funny. But I'm serious--what do I say to her?" "Just tell her she looks good after you greet her, then let the conversation go where it wants to," Chip advised. "And if you know any, a joke is a good icebreaker," Dale added. "Strider, any advice?" Leviathan asked. "Wait...you're asking *me* for *date advice*?!? You *must* be out of your mind!" "No, I mean it. Do you have any advice?" "Oh, alright; let's see..." Strider sat down in a nearby office chair and spun around for a second. "Well, always be willing to listen to what she has to say. And whatever you do, don't try to force any of your beliefs on her. People hate it when you do that--I know I do." "Just don't be so serious, and loosen up a little," Dale suggested. "Dale's right, Leviathan. Just have a little fun for once. And if Widget starts talking about something you don't understand, just listen. Maybe you'll start to understand." Strider picked up a set of headphones and plugged them into the stereo in Leviathan's room. "And if all else fails..." Strider struck a quasi-heroic pose in the vein of Son Goku, or even Sailor Moon. "...leave it to us!" Chip 'N Dale laughed at Strider's remark (and pose), and even Leviathan had to laugh at it. "See? Now just loosen up, and have a good time." Strider popped in a CD and turned the volume up, letting his mind drown in music as Chip, Dale and Leviathan left the room, still discussing the upcoming date... ~~~ All was quiet in the Coffeehouse's main area, save for the ever-present, ever-troublesome Insipid Islanders, Lawhiney and Shake-A Bake-A. The lovebirds were sitting at a table and staring into each other's eyes...until the Coffeehouse's main door opened. A red-orange fox walked through the doorway, and as the doors closed behind him, the lights illuminated his features. He had black paws, as well as a black "X" marking on his back. The two Hawaiians stared at the newcomer as he looked around the building, trying to make some sense of his new surroundings. "Another Gadget fanboy?" Lawhiney whispered to the surfer. "Whoa...I think so, babe." Shake-A pulled a folded piece of paper out from his shorts and gave it to Lawhiney. She took it, then thumbed through it--it was a printout of the story "Double Criss-Crossed". "This should be...*fun*," Lawhiney remarked as she grinned evilly. She approached the fox as he took a seat at a nearby table, his back to the mouse. "Hi, honey. Your writer finally take a break?" The fox turned around and looked at Lawhiney... ~~~ As Leviathan walked down the hall to Widget's dressing room, he continued his talk with Chip 'N Dale. "...well, I'm still not sure of what to say to her. But I'll keep your advice in mind," Leviathan said as he approached the door to the dressing room. Taking a deep breath, he knocked softly three times. "Uh, Widget? It's me, Leviathan." "Just a sec!" the young mouse called out to him. "Well, here goes nothing." "Just remember to stay calm, and don't say anything that might offend him. And above all, don't you dare try to back out of it--or I'll make you sorry you did." Grace gave her friend a quick hug. "Now don't keep him waiting!" "Oh, right!" Widget dashed to the door, then opened it. She found Leviathan standing in front of her, with the chipmunks a few inches behind him. "Um...hi, Leviathan." "Hi, Widget." Leviathan was as nervous as Widget. "You, uh, look good." "Thanks," the shy girl replied. "I picked it out just for this occasion." "Well, uh..." Leviathan started to say something, but was drowned out by Gadget's voice over the PA system. "Leviathan Walker and Widget Bernouli, would you please come to the main room of the Coffeehouse?" Looking at each other and shrugging, they walked side by side to the main hall. Grace approached Chip 'N Dale a few moments later. "Do you think they'll be alright?" Grace wondered. "I'm sure they'll both be fine, and have a good time," Chip answered. "But what did Gadget want with them?" Dale asked. "Oh, that? I asked Gadget to kinda help. When I gave her a signal"--Grace pulled out a small device with a button--"she called Widget and Leviathan to the main hall. She promised to have some friends get a dinner ready; after that, though, it's up to them." "I hope you're right about asking Gadget to help," Chip worried... ~~~ KAT: Now the date has begun. And it can only get better--or worse--from here on in. (Especially with the Islanders around... ;) STRIDER: What role will the Coffeehouse regulars play in the date? What about this newcomer--what is he doing here? And who exactly will show up at the Coffeehouse anyway? Find out as "The Big Date" continues... ##### "Quote the Strider..." "And Kat! Don't forget Kat!" "...forevermore." Triple-S & Kat ------ And another newcomer cometh? "Are you sure about this?", Alex looked Apollo questioningly. The mouse only nodded, for he needed a break from all of the chaos the Angels seemed to have. "Maybe we should bring Humphrey, he could use the relaxation", Alex thought out loud, "As a matter of fact maybe he should come here instead of me." Alex began to turn back home with only to find his shoelaces being tugged by a very annoyed mouse. "You know you need the relaxation yourself boss." Apollo said with a certain amount of mirth in his voice. "Besides, you'll meet other writer's their character's, the Rangers. Heck even Gadget may understand that silly notion of alternate diminsions." "It's a simple theory really", Alex started, "Imagine a large hallway with doors that leads to other diminsions. Infinate possibilities with infinate ideas..." Apollo tuned whatever his friend was saying, he was just looking forward to a few moments of fun in his hectic life. Entering the Coffeehouse he noticed two things. First was the fact that he was now just as tall as Alex was and the fact that there seemed to be a big ado going on nearby. "Come on let's go mingle." Apollo said now practicly dragging Alex along by the arm. Alex, who now found himself dragged along could only wonder what he let himself get talked into. "Maybe we should wait and see what it is we are interfering with *BEFORE* we just jump right in." "Oh, come on Alex, it'll be fun." Apollo said with a wicked grin, "Trust me." "That's usually my first mistake," was all that Alex muttered in response. Alex Croley --- Meanwhile . . . (it had to happen, folks!) Thursday, 07-Sep-00 22:28:43 Somewhere, among all the universes and dimensions, a sinister cloaked and masked figure was watching (don't ask how) what was going on at the Rescue Ranger Coffeehouse on the Dragon Planet. "Love!" it spat out in contempt in a muffled, metallic voice. "Bah! For too long I have watched love in the universe, but now I am going to do something about it! And those two silly mice will have the honor of being my first victims!" Then with a laugh of bitterness the figure strode over to a panel of complex dials and screens. "HIM! Do you read me? I have an interesting proposition for you!" Deep in the bowels of the nether regions, a place of hopelessness and despair no mortal hopes to see, HIM was taking a bath. "Ah yeeeees, my dear Mr. Quackers!" HIM chortled in delight, "no matter how many times those accursed Powerpuff Girls foil my evil schemes, you always comfort me and bid me to try another day!" "HIM! Do you read me?" "Wh--who said that?" HIM asked, reacting in uncustomary surprise and fear. Then, collecting himself, "Who dares to invoke me in my subterranean abode???" "I do." And suddenly a projection wavered into existence in HIM's bathroom (forcing him to scrooch down in the tub and keep himself amply covered with suds). The face could not be seen, but rather a cold, dark, sinister metallic mask of some sort that distorted the voice, making it seem non-human. A measure to preserve anonymity, HIM observed sharply. "And just whooooo are YOU???" HIM asked in his most threatening voice. "Someone who, like yourself, hates love and would root it out of all the universes," the voice stated matter-of-factly. "Behold!" And the projection of the concealed face was replaced by one of two young mice, nervous yet obviously enjoying themselves. "These two will be the first whose love will be destroyed. Then all love shall vanish, leaving the realities bereft of all love and tenderness! All shall instead know the solitude and loneliness I myself am fated to endure! That is why I have contacted you." "Now let me see," HIM observed in a sweet voice, "you have contacted ME, the most evil of evil, whose very name mortals dare not speak, in order for me to use my powers against two MICE?????" The voice was threatening now. "I think that I shall turn your blood to fire within your very veins!!!!!" And HIM then began to twirl his claw in a circle, causing a sinister miasma of evil to appear which crept over to the now-returned projection of his interlocutor. The mist surrounded the image of the masked figure and began to constrict, as though my crushing the image the mysterious speaker could himself be destroyed. The eyes of the masked figure suddenly growed red. Then a bolt of energy issued forth from them directly into HIM's bathtub, frying that considerably intimidating personage with the force of something not known to natural science. "FOOL! Did you really think that I would approach you, HIM, unless I had ways to protect myself from you? I am not so stupid! It was my intention to approach you as an equal, inviting you to join with me in destroying all love, but now I shall approach you as a servant! OBEY THE WILL OF YOUR MASTER!!! And the strange force again zapped HIM, drying up his bath water and threatening to melt poor Mr. Quackers. "Who--who are you who can approach me without fear?" HIM asked. "I would have told you," the figure said, "but you would have none of it. Let us just say now that I am one who finds you useful. Now hearken: these two new lovers are Widget Bernouli and Leviathan Walker. They are from the world of Chip 'n' Dale's Rescue Rangers and are at present at the Rescue Ranger Coffeehouse on the Dragon Planet. If you are as powerful as you say destroying their love should prove no challenge. And from the ruins of their broken hearts shall come forth the black hole that will suck up all the love in all the worlds! Go now." "You dare to order me about?" HIM was still defiant. "I have my own concerns. BEGONE!" "So you insist on making this hard on yourself, eh?" The figure almost seemed to chuckle and show a faint glimmer in the darkness of its eyes. "Very well!" Then Mr. Quackers rose out of HIM's bathtub and floated toward the projection. The figure reached out its gloved hand and grasped the rubber duckie and pulled it into the projection along with him! "As you value the very existence of Mr. Quackers," the voice said in a tone that showed it was no longer amused by the conversation, "You will do as I say. Now GO!" And the projection faded out. HIM was alone. "Mi . . . Mr. Quackers!" he said, a vacant look upon his evil face. "I suppose I must do as this fellow says at present. Anyway, it is always rewarding to do a little evil," and he rubbed his claws together in glee. "Still, I always act on my own volition. Whoever this person is, he shall not escape unpunished. As I am the most powerful evil entity in existence I shall rescue my beloved Mr. Quackers and show this amateur that no one messes with . . . HIM!!! And then, who knows . . . " he continued, "I might just go from there to go ahead and destroy all the love in all the universes, but I will do it for MYSELF! Enjoy your triumph while you can!" he said, waving a claw at the air where the projection of the mysterious stranger was a short while before located. And with a maniacal laugh of pure evil HIM stood up as the bathwater turned to molten lava, then he vanished to begin his mission. A few seconds later HIM reappeared, "Dearie me, I forgot to dry off!" he said. This he proceeded to do, and then again he was gone. At the Rescue Ranger Coffeehouse, two innocent young mice had no thought of the malignant force that had made them its target! "The Enduring Man-Child" --- "I love this place." -Said Gertie, as she and Hawnurra approached the coffeehouse. They both flinched slightly, Hawnurra more so, when the resizing field adjusted them to the standardized character height. "I feel somewhat less enthralled, my dear badgerette." Hawnurra's slim build, normal for a healthy cougar, put him at a disadvantage against Gertie's stocky shape when their heights were equal. "Oh, hush! I know you can't wait to see what's new this time! There's always somethin' goin' on here. Now smile pretty, we're goin inside." The place was indeed different this time, the main room was nearly empty, and the lights were dimmed. An unobtrusive melody was playing from the house system, and a sign on which was lettered, "Please go to the back room" with an arrow pointing the way, confronted them. Gertie looked into the main room more closely, and saw the two young mice entranced with each other as silent waiters smilingly served them. Chip saw Gertie and Hawnurra from the back room and quickly moved to meet them. "It's their first date, and we're giving them the best chance we can." He whispered, "c'mon back this way, and meet the gang!" "Isn't it a bit strange, leaving the whole front room empty?" Hawnurra, being a solitary sort, was a little slow on the uptake. Chip chuckled as he led them, "They'll come up for air sooner or later, and then they'll welcome a crowd to mingle with. Right now, any distractions would be - a problem." "Ah. I see." They entered the back room, where Gertie was welcomed warmly, and Hawnurra politely. "I don't think he likes me." Hawnurra pointed out in a quiet aside to Gertie. "Well, hon, you did try to kill and eat him." "That was during working hours, I tried to explain that." "Yeah, I know, 'the life of a fanfic badguy'." "That is my occupation." They started up another round of this very old and familiar discussion, as they sat at their table, munching snacks. And ordered their meals. Karl --- The sound of spurs jangled as the bat entered the room Sunday, 10-Sep-00 02:12:44 Bedivere Fairmont drew no attention as he entered a crowded room in the Coffeehouse. Everyone's conversations seemed to be about some big date going on in the next room. There were many things a Texas prairie bat could tolerate, but clusters of fanfic characters all whispering wasn't one of them. "YEEEEEEEEEEEEE-HAAAAAAAAW! Round up some excitment, 'cause Bedivere's here!" As if they were all leaking at once, the crowd shushed him. Bedivere was incredulous, which was easy for him. "What's the matter 'round heah? Don't any of y'all know how t'speak up? What's all this heah quiet about, anyhow?" "We're trying to make sure that Widget and Leviathan have a good time, so we're all hiding in here and pretending not to notice them," Gadget said. "Well, actually we do notice them. And considering all the peeping Toms at the door they've probably noticed us too..." Gadget made the over-interested onlookers come away from their observation points, which seemed to put a real bummer on things at first. Then Bedivere took the floor again. "Say, why don't we have ourselves a reg'lar Texas-style hoedown in heah? Shore beats looking at our feet!" --- Do I know this bat? Monday, 11-Sep-00 Kat T'Shober examined the newest arrival. "Bedivere...hmmm...which fic is -he- from?" the human with cat-like ears mumbled to herself. Kat titled her head, as if listening for a Voice From Above to tell her the answer. However, such an answer was not forthcoming. "Darn! Did I even -read- that fic?" thought Kat. She looked at Strider and considered asking him. However, his attention seemed to be focused elsewhere... Kat --- A faint scrabbling sound from above: - And then a ceiling tile lifted away to reveal a somewhat dusty rat in work clothes. "Hiya, Kat!" The recipient of this cheerful greeting stepped casually to one side, avoiding the various bits of dust and cobweb floating down. "That's Bedivere! He hangs out at the Chat Pack these days!" He looked at the grizzled bat and winked. "How's that for an introduction?" AtticRat then let go of the rafters and swung down through the hole, neatly tapping the tile back into place as he fell. His impact with the floor, however, was less than graceful. "You crazy, or what?" Bedivere wanted to know. "What?" Grinned the rat. Kat just shook her head. Karl --- ::Bedivere took off his 10-gallon hat and bowed low:: "Pleased to make yore acquaintance, miss Kat!" Bedivere said. "I'm Bedivere Fairmont, uncle to that adorable neice o' mine named Foxglove! I poke from Hondo, Texas." Kat listened to the loud-mouthed bat, wondering whether she'd heard anyone use the word "poke" in that manner before. Bedivere continued undaunted. "My first appearance was in the big shoot-em-up tale that there Indy fella wrote called Times O' Their Lives. Since then, I've made a major appearance in a shorter lil' ol' story called Texas Rangers. But enough about me." Bedivere ambled up close to her. "Does anyone in here have th' slightest idea of how folks get here and back to where they were? I was about to drive a herd o' bombardier beetles into Laredo when I sudden-like ended up here! Mighty strange, if you ask me." Bedivere took out a red chili pepper and began to munch on it. --- "Oh, yeah; now I remember." said Kat --"I -thought- you sounded familiar." She continued in a more hushed tone. "'Times of Their Lives' was a way cool read. And since you know about Indy, I think it's safe to tell you that this here Ranger Coffeehouse is where Rescue Ranger fictives go whenever their Writers aren't writting about them. Once Indy, or somebody else for that matter, starts using you in another fic, you'll leave here and arrive at whatever setting the fic in progress calls for. Ya get all that?" Kat --- "Well, bust my wings!" "I right wondered whut pulled me out o' there! Must be a slack time fer bat stories right now," Bedivere said as he gulped down the rest of his red chili pepper. Then he picked up a cracker with cheese on it. Bedivere opened his mouth, and fire shot out melting the cheese. Kat jumped back slightly, as Bedivere slurped down the now-hot treat. "Always like my cheese melted," Bedivere said nonchalantly. "Those are Texas sure-fire red hots! Guaranteed to fire every time." The bat pulled out a pack of the chili peppers from his leather vest pocket. "Care to cook your own cracker?" Uncle Bedivere --- "No, thank you; I'm fine." Kat politely declined. "Chili peppers give me horrible gas." she winked impishly. Out of the corner of her eye, Kat noticed two people she didn't think she'd seen in the Coffeehouse before. "Have fun! I need to check on something." Kat slipped away before Bedivere could react and headed toward Alex and Apollo. "Hmmm...the guy with that mouse looks like a Writer. I don't recognize either one, tho'." thought the human with the cat-like ears. "I'll go introduce myself." She quickly reached their table and asked, "Hiya fellas! New to the coffeehouse?" Kat ------ Enter few more Tuesday, 12-Sep-00 02:53:43 Lavainee Lait critically eyed her new dress. "How i look, dear?" she asked. Alex knew better that to make some wisecracks about her dress style. "Stunning as always, dear," he wisely answered. "I wasnt really sure if deep purple will fit the cut," she said critically."But boss agreed with me that i would look good, and i guess, he knows it, dont you agree?" Alex listened to her, and for a whatever time guessed, if the ability to go rambling about a topic would happen to be born in family. Over the time Lavainee had somehow picked up more from her sister that she cared to agree upon. He also made a mental check to keep stear her away from overdosaging champagne, last time she had managed to slip away, it ended not in the best way. Luckily, Platos ceremony had been finished, and with the help of the patrons he had managed to get her back to home without property damage. "Did you hear what i said?" "Uh, yes, dear," he said. "As you said." "Well, lets pick up our boss and head for a some relaxing tour to the Cafeehouse," Lawainee grinned. "I will enjoy it, i feel!" "Do we need him with us?" "Well, i still hope to get him to finish and put out 'Sisters'. What the best way to do it that get him up close and relaxed and then..." Lavainee said into the sultry voice. "But how?" "For once, no more DOOM trips," Lavainee smiled. "I talked with Kuwaini, and she let me know some trips, including how to get a portal to open to the Cafeehouse from where we are. Once we get in, the portal does the rest, including size corrections." She pulled from the nightstand small black box, that easily sit on her palm, and pressed single red button on its side. Ahead of them the portal appeared, where they saw their boss typing frantically on the computer. "See. Now i just aim it and..." Portal shifted, and two mice and one shocked human disappeared into it. There was heard an angry shout "Ne tachu atkal!" ("Not again!") "You did warn him beforehand, did you?" Alex's voice asked before portal collapsed on itself. Aivars --- So anyway . . . Tuesday, 12-Sep-00 Ash, Pikachu, Misty, Togepi, and Brock (just cause I like him better than Tracy) entered the Rescue Ranger Coffeehouse, all being sized appropriately (and proportionately). They approached the snack bar where Ash immediately turned on the television to look for American baseball games (his second biggest passion after Pokemon,as evidenced by his baseball cap). The host of the snack bar then proceeded to take their orders. Perhaps it was not coincidentally that Team Rocket then entered the Coffeehouse. They looked around cautiously after entering the door, careful to avoid Ash and Company and to take a table in the corner. Noticing that Brock rather than Tracy was present, Jessie turned to her partner. "I'm going to try something new," she said to James. "It's something I thought of after that twerp who keeps his eyes closed left the series. Wait right here." James and Meowth could only stare at each other and shrug as she departed. Jessie approached Brock from the side, careful not to draw the attention of Ash and Misty. She then struck a provocative pose. "Hey there, big boy!" she said, winking. "Hominahominahominahominahomina!" Brock reacted immediately. It was the affair of a moment for Brock to seize the startled Pikachu away from Ash and offer him to Jessie, drooling profusely all the while. "For me??? Oh, you are soooooo thoughtful!" Jessie said taking the proffered gift. "Why didn't I think of this sooner???" she asked. "Pi-ka-CHUUUUUUU!!!!!" Pikachu answered her, sending a sizable jolt of electricity into her. James and Meowth looked up as a charred Jessie rejoined them. "How'd it go?" James asked. "Now I know why I never tried it," Jessie said, sullenly. ********************************************** MEANWHILE Leviathan Walker and Widget Bernouli were at last becoming comfortable around each other and beginning to enjoy themselves. Little did they know that, invisibly, in the air above them . . . HIM was materializing. "Oh, isn't that sweeeeeet," HIM said in mock admiration, cocking his head on his claws. "NOT!" he added, and swirling his claw he began to chant an incantation. "You've both spent your lives alone Despairing of someone to call your own, And now that you've found it, in vain did you wait, For all of your love I now turn to HATE!!!" And as he twirled his claw, sure enough, a reddish miasma began to gather round it and to seep evilly down to the two unsuspecting victims. Well, until Widget suddenly looked up, opened wide her feminine eyes, and GAZED upon HIM, blasting him clear through the wall and outside the Coffeehouse. "What . . . what was THAT?" HIM asked, rubbing his head. The answer came in a sweet voice that dripped with innocence and goodness. "Need you ask, my old nemesis? Those were Magical Female Powers(tm)!" "M--Mrs. Brisby? My counterpart??? But I don't understand! I constantly fight the Powerpuff Girls, and they don't have any Magical Female Powers(tm)!" "Hey, they're only five! Give them a break!" Mrs. Brisby stated matter-of-factly. NOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!! HIM shouted impotently, shaking his red claw as he slowly dissipated into nothingness. And somewhere else, a cloaked and masked figure watched the scene. It clenched its fist in rage. "So, HIM, you have failed me," it said. "I am displeased. Nevertheless I have not yet given up. I will find someone who will be capable of carrying out my wishes and destroying this new love, and then, ALL THE LOVE IN THE UNIVERSE!!! The scene faded. "The Enduring Man-Child" --- Kuwani turned to Chipper... ...and asked, "Did you feel that?" The Jedi chipmunk nodded. "Some strange disturbance." "What disturbance around here -isn't- strange?" quipped the Tari. Chipper didn't laugh. "Think we should check on Widget and Leviathan?" Kuwani shrugged. "It's gone now, whatever it was. It felt like somebody was casting an evil spell, but got cutoff by..." the Tari scratched her head and frowned. "Magical Female Powers(tm)?" finished Chipper. "Yeah, probably. Hmm...how strange." Kuwani rambled. "Well, this -is- the Ranger Coffeehouse. We see strange on a regular basis." Chipper tried to comment calmly as he reached out with the Force to make sure the other couple was fine. Kat --- Leaving his apartment on the forth floor: - The "green marine" (Call me Jack) had been living in the Coffeehouse since his unexpected extraction from a DOOM universe in the previous coffeehouse thread. He'd slowly become accustomed to the novelty of the place, and hadn't accidently shot or chainsawed anyone for months now. Fortunately, 'toons are hardy types. His becoming a 'toon himself, instead of a game sprite, was still a source of wonder for him, as each new day brought more confusion, fun, frustration, and flat-out staring amazement into his life. As he passed the darkened front dining room of the Coffeehouse, he felt a presense above. Strangely familiar, yet different, it was unmistakably evil. Demonic. Doom marines kill demons. It's what they do. He moved silently, yet swiftly toward the presence, hovering above the two young innocents - just in time to catch a faint reflection of the blast, as the lovely mousette smilingly obliterated the evil presence. Lying on the floor, feeling an oddly pleasant buzzing numbness throughout his body, the marine realized he was completely outgunned. And that young mouse sitting directly in front of her hadn't so much as batted an eye! "And I thought we Doom Marines were tough guys." Jack mumbled, abashed, as he retreated to the hallway. There he met Gertie, who would absolutely *not* take No for an answer as she dragged him to the party, never stopping for breath as she told him more than he ever wanted to know about each one of them and how wonderful Gertie felt about them being there. Karl --- And foiduhmore (ha-cha-cha-cha-cha!!!) Wednesday, 13-Sep-00 19:49:18 Two unfamiliar humans entered the Coffeehouse by the front door, a teen age boy and girl. "Where--where are we?" asked the girl. "I don't know, Sakuya. The last I knew we were running from that demon in Tokyo and suddenly we're here. We seem to have come through a dimensional vortex." "A what?" the girl asked. "Uh, nevermind," Tenchi Masaki (for indeed it was he) said, "it would take too long to explain." "Hey, it's a cafe!" Sakuya happily observed, "come on, let's get something to eat!" She had not yet discovered the strange characters peopling the Coffeeshop, as it was not yet filled to capacity. She dragged the reluctant Tenchi to an isolated table to await the arrival of a waiter . . . er. I know that looks weird to read, but that's what they did. ********************************************** Misty waved her hand before the ever-closed and thoroughly ensorcelled eyes of Brock, still smiling from the onslaught of Jessie's Magical Female Powers(tm). "That was really mean for her to do that to Brock!" Misty fumed, "I mean, he's so vulnerable!" "Huh? What are you talking about, Misty?" asked the clueless Ash, completely oblivious to the existence of Magical Female Powers(tm). "I saw only silly Jessie making faces at Brock. And his nose was all skinned! Ho! Ho!!" Misty fought back the temptation to destroy his childhood innocence. Poor, innocent, stupid Ash! she thought, Brock needs my help now, but I have to distract Mr. "Pokemon Master" over there so he doesn't noitce. For, were he to become aware of my awesome Powers(tm) as a female, he would be filled with such awe of me that it would destroy our friendship (such as it is) and throw a dark shadow across his carefree childhood. No, I must allow the innocent young twerp to remain ignorant a while longer of the hard facts of life. Then, bending down to Pikachu, she whispered "I really need you to distract Ash for a moment. Do you think you could?" Pika!" Pikachu responded cheerfully, giving Misty a "high five" (or "four," or whatever number of digits he has on his forepaw). Then Pikachu went into "housepet" mode, rubbing on Ash with affection and forcing the top of his head into Ash's palm, in effect forcing him to pet him. "Woe, boy!" Ash giggled, "I love you too, but take it easy!" "Say Ash," Misty put in, spotting an opening, "there's a ketchup bottle on that far table over there. Why don't you bring it over here for Pikachu?" "Sure thing! Would you like that, pal?" "Pika!" Pikachu responded with enthusiasm. "Okay. I'll be right back!" And with that, Ash left the snack bar to procure the aforesaid condiment. "Finally!" Misty observed. Then, turning to Brock, she commanded "GAZEINTOMEEYES!!!" which Brock had to obey! He could not resist! DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND??? "You are coming back to us, Brock . . . back across a great darkness. Come to the sound of my voice, Brock. I command you!" Brock's face went from its formerly distorted condition to a blank as he began to come to. "Now, at the count of three you will awaken . . . and you will remember nothing of what has taken place! One . . . two . . . THREE!!!" "Whatwherewhenwhyhowwhowwhatwhenwhere . . . ???" "Brock? Are you all right?" Misty inquired. "All right? Sure! Why would I not be all right?" asked Brock, unable to remember his Close Encounter of the Jessie Kind. Misty emitted a sigh of relief at the passing of the unfortunate episode. Then Gadget entered the Coffeehouse. ********************************************** Jessie was still frying from the residual effects of Pikachu's electric attack. "That rat really does pack quite a punch!" she managed to say with some difficulty. "Well, you deserved it!" James told her. "WHAAAAAT???!!!" his partner asked, her angry face growing alarmingly close. "Well--well you shouldn't have used your Magical Female Powers(tm) on him!" James bravely maintained, though he was sweatdropping profusely, "I mean, he's so helpless and vulnerable!" "That was the whole IDEA!!!" Jessie replied, taking out her fan. James grimaced dreading the blow . . . that never came. Instead he heard his partner ask "Huh?" in a soft, puzzled voice. James eventually got the courage to open his eyes. Imagine his surprise at finding they were no longer in the Rescue Ranger Coffeehouse. He didn't know where they were, and neither did Jessie or Meowth, who were also looking about them in open-mouthed wonder. They appeared to be in a dark chamber. Its exact size and shape was not evident, though they all knew--they could not be sure exactly how--that they were surrounded by fiendish machinery of some kind with awesome destructive power. They all gulped audibly. "Wh--where are we, James?" Jessie asked at last. "I brought you here," said a sinister voice. The three villains looked up to see someone--or something--approaching them. It was cloaked in darkness, with a black helmet over its head. No eyes were visible, the voice was distorted, and the being seemed to feed off the very darkness surrounding them. "Wha--wha--what do you want of us?" Jessie asked, as she and her two partners clung to each other for comfort and safety. "I want you to perform, shall we say, a service for me," the voice said in a particularly unpleasant way. "You are the world famous Team Rocket, are you not?" "Hey, youse guys!" Meowth said, "dis guy knows about us!" "That's us!" Jessie exclaimed happily, as their poses and expressions changed completely, "we are the world famous Team Rocket, super-villains par excellence!" "The whole world trembles at the very mention of our name!" James proclaimed triumphantly. "Dey don't always get the job done," Meowth told their mysterious host, "but Meowth does his best to train 'em!" "Ah, I thought so!" the being said. "Well, as I said, I have a little job I would like done--a job that requires the absolute vilest of villainy, the apotheosis of evil, the most wicked of wickedness!" "We're your team!" the three sang, posing dramatically. "Er, so what's dis job you want done?" Meowth asked. "In the Coffeehouse from which I transported you is a young mouse couple on their first date. I want you to disrupt their happy occasion, sow the seeds of discord between them, and thereby cause them to hate one another. From this point I shall then begin the absolute eradication of love from all the worlds!" And the figure struck its own pose of triumph, indistinct as it appeared in the darkness. Team Rocket just looked at one another. "Did you not hear me? Have you nothing to say?" the figure asked, its displeasure evident. "Just what kind of villains do you think we ARE???" James asked in horror. "Team Rocket destroy love?" Jessie echoed him, "we are opposed only to the evils of truth and love, when they would hurt someone!" "Evidently you don't know us," James shook his finger disapprovingly, "if you only read all that fan fiction about us on the Internet you'd see that Team Rocket not only promotes True Love wherever it exists, we are its veritable symbol!" "That's right!" Jessie added, "All great villains have their admirers, but Team Rocket, alone among all villains, is LOVED!!!" "It also helps dat we're so incompetent dat we're not t'reat to th' good guys!" Meowth observed with a smirk. He immediately found himself the recipient of the fan blows of both his human partners. "Oh, we are NOT!" James said. "Where did you ever get such an idea?" Jessie wanted to know. "You dare to disobey me?" the sinister voice asked in a calmness that was truly terrifying. "YI!!!!!!" Team Rocket bravely exclaimed, clinging to each other for dear life. A dark energy seemed to glow in an aura around the dark figure. Two red eyes suddenly became visible in its face. Then out from the being dark energy shot forth at the hapless Team Rocket. "We're blasting off AGAAAIIIIIIIIN!!!!!!!!!" the three shouted as they shot through the wall of the mysterious location. And they didn't stop until they crashed through the roof of the Coffeehouse and landed in the exact seats they had occupied before meeting the Dark Figure. "Ow," they observed. Then they lost consciousness. ********************************************** "Hey, look!" Ash observed as he and Pikachu returned to sit beside Misty with the ketchup bottle in hand, "There was already a bottle of ketchup right here! Dumb girl!" Misty just glowered in silence. "Uh . . . where's Brock?" Ash asked. "You just stepped in him," Misty observed. "The Enduring Man-Child" --- Hmmm... AtticRat ponders. "I wonder what Dyglo would think of those peppers?" AtticRat thought, "or what long-term effect might they have on our favorite skunksune?" Just then, Jack walked up to Bedivere, holding a glass of clear liquid from the "Adult Beverage" section of the bar. "I'll try one of those." he said. Bedivere smiled broadly, and handed over a largish red example of nature's arsenal. "Thanks!" The ex-Doom marine said, and began walking toward the front of the room. He had sensed an aura of evil there, and was ready to use whatever weapons came to hand to battle it. He closed his eyes and turned his head, trying to feel the direction and range to the evil presence. Then with one quick motion he downed half of the oily-looking drink, followed it with the pepper, and then filled his mouth with the rest of the drink. The room shook as a blast of dirty orange flame lit his corner like the surface of the sun. The roaring, thunderous belch seemed to go on forever, though it actually lasted less than a minute. Jack walked back away, feeling no trace of the evil presence any longer. Pikachu, deeply impressed, put down his ketchup bottle and commented, "Piiiiiika!" A fading dimensional warp still lingering over Team Rocket's table emitted a wisp of smoke, and disappeared. In another place, another time, at the far end of that portal, an evil being waved the air in front of its face and made gagging sounds. Karl --- Someone else lurks in the shadows. . . Friday, 15-Sep-00 19:29:17 [...unWARP!!!] Good evening. ************ . . .a Panthera onça anthropomorphica, to be exact. He was in his warp mode again, namely to keep an eye of Leviathan and Widget, or to make sure they were safe, at least. After all, a promise is a promise, even though they weren’t the actual ones who he made the promise to. He saw the others coming in and going to the other room, and he didn’t mind that— *I just wish Bunnie were here. Or not, I think, it was a good thing she wasn’t here last time to see me in the mess I was—* Suddenly, the Jaguar detected a TREMENDOUSLY EVIL PRESENCE. Whirling about, he sensed it coming from L&W, but as he came closer, he suddenly sensed an even *stronger* presence, and then the evil was gone. *What was all that about?* He wondered it Chipper felt anything, but he thought it wouldn’t be polite to ask now since he was with Kat. Then he saw Pikachu and Co. enter. No problem. Then he saw Team Rocket— He fought to keep his growl down, lest he give away his position. Perhaps he should get rid of these bozos once and for all, and perhaps just plain eat them so the wouldn’t bot— He calmed down when he saw Pikachu zapping Jesse, AGAIN. *As if they’re actually a _threat_ to anyone.* But they *could* be very annoying— Suddenly, another evil presence made his soul shiver. Team Rocket suddenly disappeared, but just as soon as they did, they reappeared, quite groggy, AGAIN. “Huh?” But before he could calm down, he began sensiing another TEP (tremendously evil presence). . . ************ Until next time, remember: I AM THE J.A.M. Good evening. [WARP!!!] The J.A.M. ------