Even though Tom was having a lot of fun whacking the countless hoards of evil minions with his staff, there were just so many that he began to feel that he could really be more productive if he tried some other method. So, Tom momentarily left the battlefield. A short time later, the sky began to go dark. Motion on the field ceased as all looked up to see an ominous black cloud beginning to block out the sun. "I think we're in trouble.", Chip said, fearing the worst. But TPL instantly knew what was happening. "Don't worry Chip. This is a good thing." "You call an ominous black cloud of doom a good thing?" "I do if it's on our side! Take a look!" TPL handed Chip a viewing device much like a pair of binoculars. Through it, Chip could see that the cloud was actually made up of tens of thousands, possibly millions, of individual animals. "They're dragons!", Chip cried. The cloud then began to descend on to the battlefield in a fiery swarm, as the dragons began gorging themselves on the countless hoards of evil minions. Chip noticed that one dragon stood out from the others, being much larger than most, and was leading the charge. Chip zoomed in to get a better look at it, and noticed that Tom was riding it's back while waving a sword in the air. The dragon swooped down, scooped up a mouthful of the countless hoards of evil minions, and then chewed then politely, 32 times before swallowing. It then rose back into the air, and turned towards Chip's camp. When the dragon had arrived, it set down and let Tom off it's back. It then returned to rejoin the feast, where some of the dragons could be heard having a grand old time, and saying things such as, "Mmm! Crunchy on the outside, chewy on the inside!", "Hey! We could use some milk over here!", and "Pardon me. Would you have any Grey Poupon?" "Hiya everyone!", Tom said with a grin. "You brought those dragons here?", Chip asked him, somewhat in shock. "Sure! I thought I'd make use of some of this planet's natural resources. They're really nice creatures, assuming you don't invade their homeworld like those guys did.", Tom said, pointing towards the field. "And don't worry, I also told them to only eat the countless hoards of evil minions, so they'll leave the main baddies for us to have fun with!" "Wow!", Chip exclaimed. "This could really help turn the tide!" "Aw, it was nothin'. Oh, and I almost forgot. On the way to talk to the dragons, I ran into a strange lion. I think his name was Asland or something. Anyway, he gave me some swords to give to you guys. My sword..." pointing to his own, "is the Sword of Augury." Tom then handed out the others to the Rangerphiles that were nearby, each sword with a different name, such as the Sword of Portent, the Sword of Foretelling, The Sword of Presage, the Sword of Prognostication, the Sword of Foreboding, the Sword of Premonition, the Sword of Intimation. "Oh, and Karl. Be careful with that Sword of Prognostication.", Tom told him as he handed it to Karl. "It seems to have an attitude." "Oh, sure.", Karl said to Tom. "Give me the one that's defective." Upon hearing itself called defective, The Sword of Prognostication gave Karl a moderate shock. "Gee. DC power, and good amperage. Not bad.", he said as Romy tried to get close enough to inhale the smoke wafting off of him. Tom --------------------- Karl looked dubiously at his new Sword of Prognostication, and decided to find out what, if anything, the name was supposed to indicate. "Sword, do you fortell the future?" He asked, feeling a bit foolish. "So, who wants to know!?" Replied a brazen, but bell-like voice. "The guy who's probably going to have to hack up a few bad guys with you, and if you aren't polite maybe I won't be so careful with your edge." Rejoined Karl, in a cutting tone. "You know, I think I'm gonna like this gig!" The sword sounded quite pleased. This was going to be the start of a wonderful friendship. "So, will we win this war?" Asked Karl. "Not if you don't shut up and start swinging!" Karl ------------- From the last post... "Now U shall deal with US, jaguar. . .AND ALL THE POWERS OF HELL!!!!!!!!!!!" "Now where have I heard that before?" asked Wescott. "Esto no me gusta nada. . ." mumbled the panther. . . and now... Just then the sound of a shotgun roared and one of the witch's chest blew apart. She crumpled to the ground with a shriek. "All the powers of hell huh?" came a voice. "Been there, done that." Up stepped a man in green armor, a helmet, and various weapons strapped to him. Wescott looked at him in disbelief. "Its the DOOM GUY!" The Doom guy kicked the fallen Negaduck, who got up and took the knife from his chest with a groan. "Hey, I though he was dead," said Tammy. "You can't kill me," said Negaduck, "I'm a toon!" He began to laugh evily. The Doom guy shoved his missle lancher under Negaducks beak and fired. The villian was propelled about half a mile into the air before the missle exploded. The explosion threw him even farther into the atmosphere where he collided with the planetary shield. After being fried for several seconds, he started to fall, but was nailed again by The Jugernaut who had been send into orbit at just about the same time by Hercules. Negaduck was propelled into the planetary shield once again and fried again before falling and landing several miles from any of the fighting. He had the energy to whimper, "Owwww," before blacking out for the remainder of the battle. "You know," remarked The J.A.M. "It would have been less painful for him if he had just died from the knife." He grinned, "I'm glad he lived..." The Doom guy slung his rocket launcher over his shoulder and whipped out his BFG. "So lets go get those forces of hell already." "They don't stand a chance," said jaguar. Chipper ---------------- Uh, I did it with my CLAWS, not a knife (and THIS continuity is not over yet) Thursday, 24-Dec-98 11:45:15 206.49.58.30 writes: [...unWARP!!!] Good evening. The Jaguar knocked out the remaining witch with one swift kick from his mountain-bike-hardened legs. But, the short witch was small and frail anyways and was not swift enough to counter the blow. A sickening crack was heard just before she fell down. "Now, as I was saying, we should get Tammy and Wescott back to safet--" Suddenly, large balls of light appeared out of nowhere, bouncing all over the sky like ping-pong balls. Accompanying the balls was a high-pitched noise that rose and fell as the balls bounced to and fro. The planet's surface was not the only place where this was happening, the light balls were also bouncing back and forth among both the good and the evil space fleets above the earth. "Ready wave-motion gu--" Captain Wildstar of the Argo was interrupted by this phenomenon. All fighting ceased, good guys and villains all stood stone-still to gaze at the phenomenon. "SCAN!!" ordered Picard. "Captain, those objects are moving too fast to get a fix on them!!" repleid Worf. "Perhaps they are other Q?" asked Data. In all, no scanning device of any ship, not even the computer at the Coffeehouse could identify the phenomenon. However, on board the Galactica, as soon as the balls appeared, Adama's blood went to his feet. Slowly, he stood, as the rest of his crew. "Oh my, they're back. . ." Until next time, remember: I AM THE J.A.M. Good evening. [WARP!!!] The J.A.M. -------------------- **Editor's note: If you wish to disregard this ending as the official ending, feel free to do so. However, as I started the thread (and yes, Chipette, you were the one who suggested it), I feel compelled to draw a resolution. But, the end of the battle is not the end of the action.** With the aid of the dragon residents of the planet, the battle on the ground was now balanced about fifty-fifty. Heavy infighting was going in several areas, but the evil forces remaining had now gathered in the central area in an all-out attempt to prevent the summoning of Wiz-Ra. But even as the fighting escalated, the portal was finished! "Storm! Use your elemental powers and kick this thing into action!" Gadget yelled. Storm rose up into the sky. "I summon the power of lightning! Arise, and aid our cause!" Storm (boy, that's a lot of storms in a row) clouds gathered almost instantly and a giant bolt of lightning flared and Sue selectively allowed it through her shield to energize the portal. But that was the moment Mumm-Ra had been waiting for. As the lightning descended, he stretched forth his hand and the evil magic added to the power of the lightning. Immediately, the portal activated, but it was going into overload. "Everyone, run for the hills!" Dexter shouted. "She's gonna blow!" "Is there anything we can do?" Reed Richards asked. "Nothing," Panthro answered. "In thirty seconds, that thing's going to blow up!" Then, in the archway at the top of the machine, a bluish oval rip in the fabric of space appeared. It was Wiz-Ra! Cheetara, who loved him ever since she first met him, ran to his side. "Wiz-Ra! Can you make it through the portal?" Cheetara asked. "I could, beautiful Cheetara, but it would do you no good," Wiz-Ra said. "I would be useful only a short time in your dimension; if I could not get back to the seventh dimension by day's end, I would die and the evil would still win." "But what can we do, then?" Cheetara asked, pain in her voice. "The answer is simple. One already exists in that universe that can stop them. All he has to do is appear, and the evil ones will flee." Cheetara shook her head. "But no one here has been able to stop the evil. Who is this person?" "Me," a voice said. All heads, good and evil turned in flabbergasted silence, and just stared. On another part of the planet, Indy and Man-Child had just finished rescuing Chipette. She and her creation Animollie had gone to save Monty and Chedderhead Charlie. The bold men were looking for a new challenge when a loud beeping was heard. "What is that?" Man-Child asked. Indy looked around, then realized the source. "Hmm, it's coming from my ring. By I don't remember it beeping before....Wait a moment, we celebrated Christmas here on the Dragon Planet yesterday. What day is it on Earth?" Man-Child checked the intergalactic chronometer he kept with him. "By standard Earth time, it is now midnight, Christmas Eve, GMT." "Ah, that explains it!" Indy shouted. "I forgot all about being chosen this year. Come on, let's get back to the others. I think our problems are over!" "SANTA!" yelled the evil leaders. Indeed it was Santa Claus, the jolly old elf himself. The bad guys were no under the gaze of Old Saint Nick, and no bad guy stands a chance under that. Dr. Doom ran up and started crying out, "Please, Santa, this wasn't my idea! Don't give me coal and switches again! Please!" The other bad guys were now making the same pleas as Indy and Man-Child made their way back to the main group. Santa mused on it for a moment, then answered, "If you clean up all this mess you've made and clear the spaceways of all your ships and derelicts, then I /might/ consider it." Instantly, several thousand bad guys were working to clean up the planet. The Borg ships were called off, the Death Star was towed away and all the enemy forces sent back to their places of origin. All the good guys that had been injured were now under the care of TPL or the Star Trek medical staffs. The remaining good guys all gathered around Father Christmas, who had landed his sleigh on the platform. Strangely, it had not exploded, but as it had outlived its usefulness as a plot device, it had simply shut down and sent Wiz-Ra home. Chip and the Rangers came up first to thank Santa. "We're confused about something, Santa," Chip said. Why didn't you show up earlier?" "Well," Santa said, "I had to finish double checking my list first. But also, I was meant to be here now. Don't forget, the ultimate Good guy is my boss." "You mean.." Chip started to say. "Well, where do you think all those presents come from? I don't have the net worth to make them all year after year? And the Earth's resources would have been depleted centuries ago if I was using natural materials." "OH...," the group remarked. "But isn't this your busiest time of the year, now?" Gadget asked. "Indeed it is, and that's another reason why I'm here. Indy, are you ready to go?" Santa asked. Everyone turned to look at Indy as he made his way through the crowd. "I won the chance this year to ride shotgun with Santa. That's why I had this ring with me, in case I was selected." "Come on, Indy," Santa said with noted impatience. "We've got to get back so we can do the final preflight check and make sure everything's still working on this sleigh." Indy signaled for Santa to wait a moment. The Rangers and the Rangerphiles all came forward and he hugged them all, one by one. Then he nodded to the coffeehouse. "Don't worry folks! I'll be back as soon as the job's done! In the meanwhile, I just asked E-Man to bring in some entertainment till I get back! Have fun!" With that, the familiar sleigh with eight tiny reindeer rose into the air and disappered from sight. The memory of the moment had barely settled in, when the sounds of an electric guitar captured everyone's attention. A rather high-pitched voice announced, "Welcome, Rangers, Rangerphiles, and assorted heroes! It's time to celebrate the victory with a little holiday rock and roll!" A nice stage with the works in terms of lighting and sound had been set up by TPL and E-Man. At the mike was none other than Alvin, the Chipmunks and the Chipettes at his side. Everyone grooved to their version of "Jingle Bells." Soon, they were joined by the Beach Boys for a rollicking combined version of "Little Saint Nick." Everyone was enjoying the holiday hit fest, and even the Rangerphiles that hadn't danced earlier were joining in the fun. It was just the start of what would be later known as Christmaspalooza, one of the best year-end bashes ever. The ranks of the guest bands had just started, and there was plenty more to come! Indy --------------- as the Chipmunks and the Chipettes sang Christmas songs, the one cheering the most was of course Chipette. she was right up next to the stage screaming and smiling ear to ear. Alvin, seeing his fan, came up to the edge and kissed her hand. she nearly fainted. Brittany glared at him and looked for a male fan to flirt with. Chipette turned to Fidessa and screamed "he kissed my hand! oh my God! oh my God! i'll never wash my hands again!" Chris, who was next to Chipette and new to the music of the Chipmunks, laughed. he hadn't seen Chipette so happy since the bus had arrived. she was singing along and dancing and having the time of her life. a time she would remember and cherish for the rest of her life. in between songs, the Boz up working the sound switched gears, and started playing the recording of Chipette's song. The Chipmunks and the Chipettes, startled, looked around to figure out who the singer was. Chipette's beet-red blush gave it away. Chris looked at her and also blushed, realizing that the song was dedicated to him. when the concert was over, Chipette and Chris sat down with some cookies and milk to talk. Alvin casually walked up to Chipette and smirked, "you know, you're not a bad singer." Chipette's blush returned. "thanks! you know, i've always dreamed of singing a duet with you." "you want to now?" "oh i don't know i mean there's so many people hear and they'd probably rather not hear me singing and-" Alvin cut her off from her fast rambling and took her hand. he led her up on stage and stepped up to the mike. "excuse me, could i have everyone's attention please?" the room fell silent. "thank you. i have someone here who's really wanting to sing a duet with me, so i'm gonna do one more song." Alvin started, "Rockin' around the Christmas tree," and Chipette joined in. they sang a beautiful rendition of it. the room broke into wild applause when they finished. Chipette, overcome with emotion, seized Alvin and gave him a huge kiss. stars began floating around Alvin's head as he staggered off the stage with a goofy grin. "Chipette must be going for a record here," Chip ruefully mused. "that's the second toon she's kissed so far!" Dale overheard him and replied with a snicker, "i wonder if she'll be kissing any more chipmunks." "you're married, Dale, don't count on it!" Chipette sat back down next to Chris, her heart pounding. "Chipette, you're going to be the most experienced kisser here by tomorrow!" Chipette would have given him a playful smack, but she was in too good of a mood. instead, she placed a delicate kiss on his cheek and said, "darn straight!" Brittany stood with her arms crossed and watched Alvin dizzily sit down, still recovering from Chipette's kiss. Chipette ---------- Suddenly, the air was filled with the sound of transporter shimmer. It was Indy! The erstwhile traveler greeted everyone warmly and received hugs and kisses in return. Indy proceeded to tell everyone about his travels with Santa and how the space-time continuum slows down when you're in the sleigh. "Oh, that reminds me," Indy said, taking the special ring off his finger. "You only get to ride shotgun in the sleigh once, and then you must pick a successor. I chose Man-Child as my successor for saving my life on our rescue mission to save Chipette." Everyone clapped and shouted while Man-Child took the ring and thanked Indy for his choice. Then Indy looked around. "Hey, I came here for a party! Let's get it rolling again before we have to go home!" With that, the musicians cranked back up and Christmaspalooza took off again. The Rangers, Rangerphiles and assorted heroes danced the night away to a parade of performers, including Tony Bennett, Johnny Mathis, Alabama, the Judds, Boyz 2 Men, and that neat group that does the songs in the Scooby Doo shows whose name escapes me at the moment. Finally, though, the singing, dancing and general fun had to come to an end. No one could remember a better time. The assorted heroes left first, very kindly cleanup up most of the mess (Storm should hire herself out to the Macy's parade for clean-up duty). Then it was time for the Rangers and Rangerphiles to part. It was sad, but everyone had promised to make this an annual event. Chip spoke for the Rangers. "Everyone is welcome back next year. Just remember to bring warmer clothes next time, /Chris/, and that you're all honorary Rescue Rangers in our book!" TPL and E-Man had made up for the most part. TPL even offered to transport him home with his T-Pad, but E-Man refused, saying he had three life-or-death calls waiting. He climbed on his speeder, said a quick goodbye, and jumped through the E-Portal. Everyone else started making their way to the bus. Indy stopped and turned back to Chip. "Is there really a presskit out there to be had?" "Oh, yes, it's out there Indy. You'll know where to look," Chip said. "Thanks. For everything." "No, thank you. And I can't wait to see that new fanfic." "I've already started it, and I really like it. I know you will too." Goodbyes were said all around. It was a little sad, but the knowledge that this would not be a one-time deal made the parting easier to deal with. Everyone got on the bus, Gadget and TPL taking their places. As the remaining Rangers waved goodbye and the bus started, Chipper looked around and said, "I guess there's only one thing to say then..." Everyone nodded agreement, and as one they all said, "Rescue Rangers, AWAY!" Indy ------------------ TPL, very upset that all his tech was defiled by many authors, left all the happy festitvites and whent back to his lab to descide witch way to blow up earth, with the promis to distroy anyone who disturbed or tries to stop him. The Dragon Plannet's computer systems descided that the tiny airea that has been wrecked would be best to be just leveled and the Ranger Coffeehouse moved to an orbiting stasion. E-Man was quickly converted to info and stored on a PUNCHED CARD, from wittch he COULD NOT excape. This was then locked in a box and stored. TPL's shields final free from the corupting infliance of the other Rangerphiles whent back to there full 'can stand up to EVENT ONE' status. The knowage that the intire Dragon Plannet would be distrued by the BILLIONS of borg cubes that arouned the plannet hopefully keeping any more authors from voiding it's INFINATIVE live wareaty. The ring of borg cubes that normaly srounded the dragon plannet once again thickened and retuened there normal attemts to break the shield. TheBoz, ignored, lurked in the CoffeeHouse controll room and desused his life with Electra. One by one, the systems in the area aroung the Coffeehosue returned to it's normal statuss and functions. Thus it was. And thus would it stay. -------------------------- I think you can guess that I'm a little upset at the way that TPL's tech and plannet has been treated. TheBoz ----------------- Once back on Earth, Indy was met by E-Man, who was in a horrible mood. "What's the problem, pal?" Indy asked "Oh, that TPL!" E-Man shouted. "He went into vengeful rage over everyone penetrating his shields, and he decided to take it out on me!" "What did he try to do?" Indy asked. "He tried to put me on a PUNCH CARD!" E-Man said. "It's just lucky he didn't know I can make electromagnetic duplicates of myself. Somewhere, an image of myself is trapped on an ancient computer card." "Well, don't let it worry you, E-Man," Indy said. "We did take a lot of literary license with TPL's planet and technology." "I'ts not our fault," E-Man said. "He should have defined his planet's technology better. Anyhow, no technology is undefeatable." "I'd advise you not to go there anytime soon, though. He's really in a huff." Indy replied. "But besides that, what did you think of our adventure?" "Oh, it was good, but I'd have liked to have ridden with Santa too." E-Man said. "I'm sure he wouldn't mind you tagging along with him and Man-Child next year." "Uh, Indy, you do realize that Man-Child celebrates the Jewish holidays, don't you?" "Yeah, but they both work for a Jewish boss, so I don't think he'll mind." Indy ----------------